--277
That Paderewski, during the piano-playing days, wore a wig, and was actually as bald as a coot.
--278
That lightning never strikes twice in the same place.
--279
That when a doctor finds there is nothing the matter with a man who has come to consult him, he never frankly tells the man there"s nothing wrong with him, but always gives him bread pills.
--280
That, in a family crisis, the son always sticks to the mother and the daughter to the father.
--281
That beer is very fattening.
--282
That no man of first-rate mental attainments ever goes in for dancing.
--283
That a woman can"t sharpen a lead pencil.
--284
That on every trans-Atlantic steamer there are two smooth gamblers who, the moment the ship docks, sneak over the side with the large sum of money they have won from the pa.s.sengers.
--285
That if one gets out of bed on the left side in the morning, one has a mean disposition for the rest of the day.
--286
That a woman who has led a loose life is so grateful for the respect shown her by the man who asks her to marry him that she makes the best kind of wife.
--287
That fish is a brain food.
--288
That street-corner beggars have a great deal of money hidden away at home under the kitchen floor.
--289
That it is advisable for a young woman who takes gas when having a tooth pulled to be accompanied by some one, by way of precaution against the dentist.
--290
That all girls educated in convents turn out in later life to be h.e.l.l-raisers.
--291
That a young girl may always safely be trusted with the kind of man who speaks of his mother.
--292
That a nine-year-old boy who likes to play with toy steam engines is probably a born mechanical genius and should be educated to be an engineer.
--293
That all celebrated professional humourists are in private life heavy and witless fellows.
--294
That when one stands close to the edge of a dizzy alt.i.tude, one is seized peculiarly with an impulse to jump off.
--295
That if one eats an apple every night before retiring, one will never be ill.
--296
That all negroes born south of the Potomac can play the banjo and are excellent dancers.