As the days went on this idea, instead of dissolving, became unalterably lodged in his brain. Gradually he retreated further and further into himself, until the spiritual isolation in which he lived appeared to him more and more like the isolation of the prison. His figure had become a familiar one in the streets of Botetourt, yet he lived bodily among the people without entering into their lives or sharing in any degree the emotions that moved their hearts. Only in periods of sorrow did he go willingly into the houses of those of his own cla.s.s, though he had found a way from the beginning to reach the poor, the distressed, or the physically afflicted. His tall, slightly stooping figure, in its loose black clothes, his dark head, with the thick locks of iron gray hair upon the temples, his sparkling blue eyes, his bright, almost boyish smile, and the peculiar, unforgettable charm of his presence--these were the things which those in sickness or poverty began to recognise and to look for. In his own home he lived, except for the fitful tenderness of Alice, as much apart as he felt himself to be in the little town. They were considerate of him, but their consideration, he knew, contained an ineradicable suspicion, and in the house as outside, he was surrounded by the watchful regard that is given to the infirm or the mentally diseased. He read this in Lydia"s gently averted eyes; he felt it in Richard Ordway"s constrained manner; he detected it even in the silent haste with which the servants fulfilled his slightest wish.
His work in his uncle"s office, he had soon found to be of the most mechanical character, a mere pretext to give him daily employment, and he told himself, in a moment of bitterness that it was convincing proof of the opinion which the older man must hold of his honesty or of his mental capacity. It became presently little more than a hopeless round to him--this morning walk through the sunny streets, past the ivied walls of the old church, to the clean, varnish scented office, where he sat, until the luncheon hour, under the hard, though not unkind, eyes of the man who reminded him at every instant of his dead father. And the bitterest part of it, after all, was that the closer he came to the character of Richard Ordway, the profounder grew his respect for his uncle"s unwavering professional honour. The old man would have starved, he knew, rather than have held back a penny that was not legally his own or have owed a debt that he felt had begun to weigh, however lightly, upon his conscience. Yet this lawyer of scrupulous rect.i.tude was the husband, his nephew suspected, of a neglected, a wretchedly unhappy wife--a small, nervous creature, whom he had married, shortly after the death of his first wife, some twenty years ago. The secret of this unhappiness Daniel had discovered almost by intuition on the day of his father"s funeral, when he had looked up suddenly in the cemetery to find his uncle"s wife regarding him with a pair of wonderful, pathetic eyes, which seemed to gaze at him sadly out of a blue mist. So full of sympathy and understanding was her look that the memory of it had returned to him more than a year later, and had caused him to stop at her gate one November afternoon as he was returning from his office work. After an instant"s pause, and an uncertain glance at the big brick house with its clean white columns, he ascended the steps and rang the bell for the first time since his boyhood.
The house was one of the most charming in Botetourt, but as he followed the servant down the hall to the library, it seemed to him that all these high, imposing walls, with their fine white woodwork, enclosed but so much empty s.p.a.ce to fill with loneliness. His uncle had no children, and the sad, fair-haired little wife appeared to be always alone and always suffering.
She was seated now in a low rocking-chair beside the window, and as she turned her head at his entrance, he could see, through the lace curtains, a few pale November leaves, which fluttered down from an elm tree beside the porch. When she looked at him he noticed that her eyes were large and beautiful and of a changeable misty colour which appeared now gray, now violet.
"It is so good of you, Daniel," she said, in a soft, grateful voice, removing her work-basket from the chair at her side so that he might come within the reach of her short-sighted gaze.
"I"ve wanted to come ever since I saw you for the first time after my return," he answered cheerfully. "It is strange, isn"t it?--that I hardly remember you when I lived here. You were always ill, were you not?"
"Yes, ill almost always," she replied, smiling as she met his glance.
"When you were married I remember I couldn"t go to the wedding because I had been in bed for three months. But that"s all over now," she added, fearing to produce in him a momentary depression. "I am well again, you see, so the past doesn"t matter."
"The past doesn"t matter," he repeated in a low voice, struck by the words as if they held more than their surface meaning for his ears.
She nodded gravely. "How can it matter if one is really happy at last."
"And you are happy at last?"
As he watched her it seemed to him that a pale flame burned in her face, tinging its sallow wanness with a golden light. "I am at peace and is that not happiness?" she asked.
"But you were sad once--that day in the cemetery? I felt it."
"That was while I was still struggling," she answered, "and it always hurts one to struggle. I wanted happiness--I kept on wanting it even after I ceased to believe in its existence. I fought very hard--oh, desperately hard--but now I have learned that the only way to get anything is to give it up. Happiness is like everything else, it is only when one gives it back to G.o.d that one really possesses it."
He had never seen a face in which the soul spoke so clearly, and her look rather than her words came to him like the touch of divine healing.
"When I saw you standing beside your father"s grave, I knew that you were just where I had been for so many years--that you were still telling your self that things were too hard, that they were unendurable. I had been through it all, you see, so I understood."
"But how could you know the bitterness, the shame of feeling that it was all the result of my own mistake--of my own sin."
Taking his hand in hers, she sat for a moment in silence with her ecstatic gaze fixed on his face. "I know that in spite of your sin you are better than they are," she said at last, "because your sin was on the outside--a thing to be sloughed off and left far behind, while their self-righteousness is of their very souls----"
"Oh, hush, hush," he interrupted sternly, "they have forgiven me for what I did, that is enough."
"Sixteen years ago," she returned, dropping her voice, "my husband forgave me in the same way, and he has never forgotten it."
At his start of surprise, he felt that she clung the more closely to the hand she held. "Oh, it wasn"t so big a thing," she went on, "I had been married to him for five years, and I was very unhappy when I met someone who seemed to understand and to love me. For a time I was almost insane with the wonder and delight of it--I might have gone away with him--with the other--in my first rapture, had not Richard found it all out two days before. He behaved very generously--he forgave me. I should have been happier," she added a little wistfully, "if he had not."
As she broke off trembling, he lifted her hand to his lips, kissing it with tenderness, almost with pa.s.sion. "Then that was the beginning of your unhappiness--of your long illness!" he exclaimed.
She nodded smiling, while a tear ran slowly down her flushed cheek. "He forgave me sixteen years ago and he has never allowed me to forget it one hour--hardly a minute since."
"Then you understand how bitter--how intolerable it is!" he returned in an outbreak of anger.
"I thought I knew," she replied more firmly than he had ever heard her speak, "but I learned afterwards that it was a mistake. I see now that they are kind--that they are good in their way, and I love them for it.
It isn"t our way, I know, but the essence of charity, after all, is to learn to appreciate goodness in all its expressions, no matter how different they may be from our own. Even Richard is kind--he means everything for the best, and it is only his nature that is straightened--that is narrow--not his will. I felt bitterly once, but not now because I am so happy at last."
Beyond the pale outline of her head, he saw the elm leaves drifting slowly down, and beyond them the low roofs and the dim church spires of the quiet town. Was it possible that even here he might find peace in the heart of the storm?
"It is only since I have given my happiness back to G.o.d that it is really mine," she said, and it seemed to him again that her soul gathered brightness and shone in her face.
CHAPTER V
THE WILL OF ALICE
When he reached home the servant who helped him out of his overcoat, informed him at the same time that his uncle awaited him in the library.
With the news a strange chill came over him as if he had left something warm and bright in the November sunset outside. For an instant it seemed to him that he must turn back--that he could not go forward. Then with a gesture of a.s.sent, he crossed the hall and entered the library, where he found Lydia and the children as well as Richard Ordway.
The lamps were unlit, and the mellow light of the sunset fell through the interlacing half-bared boughs of the golden poplar beyond the window. This light, so rich, so vivid, steeped the old mahogany furniture and the faded family portraits in a glow which seemed to Daniel to release, for the first time, some latent romantic spirit that had dwelt in the room. In the midst of this glamor of historic atmosphere, the four figures, gathered so closely together against the clear s.p.a.ce of the window, with its network of poplar leaves beyond the panes, borrowed for the moment a strange effectiveness of pose, a singular intensity of outline. Not only the figures, but the very objects by which they were surrounded appeared to vibrate in response to a tragic impulse.
Richard Ordway was standing upon the hearthrug, his fine head and profile limned sharply against the pale brown wall at his side. His right hand was on Lydia"s shoulder, who sat motionless, as if she had fallen there, with her gentle, flower-like head lying upon the arm of her son. Before them, as before her judges, Alice was drawn to her full height, her girlish body held tense and quivering, her splendid hair loosened about her forehead, her trembling mouth making a violent contrast to the intense pallor of her face.
Right or wrong Ordway saw only that she was standing alone, and as he crossed the threshold, he turned toward her and held out his hand.
"Alice," he said softly, as if the others were not present. Without raising her eyes, she shrank from him in the direction of Richard Ordway, as if shielding herself behind the iron fort.i.tude of the man whom she so bitterly disliked.
"Alice has been out driving alone with Geoffrey Heath all the afternoon," said Lydia in her clear, calm voice. "We had forbidden it, but she says that you knew of it and did not object to her going."
With the knowledge of the lie, Ordway grew red with humiliation, while his gaze remained fastened on the figure in the carpet at Alice"s feet.
He could not look at her, for he felt that her shame was scorching him like a hot wind. To look at her at the moment meant to convict her, and this his heart told him he could never do. He was conscious of the loud ticking of the clock, of the regular tapping of Richard"s fingers upon the marble mantel-piece, of the fading light on the poplar leaves beyond the window, and presently of the rapid roll of a carriage that went by in the street. Each of these sounds produced in him a curious irritation like a physical smart, and he felt again something of the dumb resentment with which he had entered his wife"s dressing-room on the morning of his arrest. Then a smothered sob reached his ear, and Alice began to tremble from head to foot at his side. Lifting his eyes at last, he made a step forward and drew her into his arms.
"Was it so very wrong? I am sorry," he said to Lydia over the bowed head of their child. Until the words were uttered, and he felt Alice"s tense body relax in his arms, he had not realised that in taking sides with her, he was not only making himself responsible for her fault, he was, in truth, actually sharing in the lie that she had spoken. The choice was an unconscious one, yet he knew even in the ensuing moment of his clearer judgment that it had been inevitable--that from the first instant, when he had paused speechless upon the threshold, there had been open to him no other course.
"I am sorry if it was wrong," he repeated, turning his glance now upon Richard Ordway.
"Do you know anything of Geoffrey Heath? Have you heard him spoken of by decent people since you have been in Botetourt?" asked the old man sternly.
"I have heard little of him," answered Daniel, "and that little was far from good. We are sorry, Alice, are we not? It must not happen again if we can help it."
"It has happened before," said Lydia, lifting her head from d.i.c.k"s arm, where it had lain. "It was then that I forbade her to see him alone."
"I did not know," responded Daniel, "but she will do as you wish hereafter. Will you not, Alice?"
"How does it concern them? What have they to do with me?" demanded Alice, turning in his arms to face her mother with a defiant and angry look, "they have never cared for me--they have always preferred d.i.c.k--always, even when I was a little child."
He saw Lydia grow white and hide her drooping face again on d.i.c.k"s shoulder. "You are unjust to your mother, Alice," he said gravely, "she has loved you always, and I have loved you."
"Oh, you are different--I would die for you!" she exclaimed pa.s.sionately, as she wept on his breast.
While he stood there holding her in his arms, it seemed to him that he could feel like an electric current the wave of feeling which had swept Alice and himself together. The inheritance which was his had descended to her also with its keen joys and its sharp anguish. Even the road which he had travelled so lately in weariness was the one upon which her brave young feet were now set. Not his alone, but his child"s also, was this mixture of strength and weakness, of gaiety and sadness, of bitterness and compa.s.sion.
"If you will leave me alone with her, I think I can make her understand what you wish," he said, lifting his eyes from the dark head on his breast to Lydia, who had risen and was standing before him with her pensive, inquiring gaze fixed on his face. "She is like me," he added abruptly, "in so many ways."