After this they did not speak again until they reached the iron gate before the house in which she was staying. On his side he was caught up into some ideal realm of feeling, in which he possessed her so utterly that the meeting could not bring her nearer to him nor the parting take her farther away. His longing, his unrest, and his failure, were a part of his earthly nature which he seemed to have left below him in that other life from which he had escaped. Without doubt he would descend to it again, as he had descended at moments back into the body of his sin; but in the immediate exaltation of his mood, his love had pa.s.sed the bounds of personality and entered into a larger and freer world. When they parted, presently, after a casual good-bye, he could persuade himself, almost without effort, that she went on with him in the soft May twilight.
At his door he found Lydia just returning from a drive, and taking her wraps from her arm, he ascended the steps and entered the house at her side. She had changed her mourning dress for a gown of pale gray cloth, and he noticed at once that her beauty had lost in transparency and become more human.
"I thought you had gone riding with Alice," she said without looking at him, as she stooped to gather up the ends of a lace scarf which had slipped from her arm.
"No, I was not with her," he answered. "I wanted to go, but she would not let me."
"Are you sure, then, that she was not with Geoffrey Heath?"
"I am sure that she was with him, for they pa.s.sed me not a half hour ago as I came up."
They had entered the library while he spoke, and crossing to the hearth, where a small fire burned, Lydia looked up at him with her anxious gaze.
"I hoped at first that you would gain some influence over her," she said, in a distressed voice, "but it seems now that she is estranged even from you."
"Not estranged, but there is a difference and I am troubled by it. She is young, you see, and I am but a dull and sober companion for her."
She shook her head with the little hopeless gesture which was so characteristic of her. Only yesterday this absence of resolution, the discontented droop of her thin, red lips, had worked him into a feeling of irritation against her. But his vision of her to-day had pa.s.sed through some softening lens; and he saw her shallowness, her vanity, her lack of pa.s.sion, as spiritual infirmities which were not less to be pitied than an infirmity of the body.
"The end is not yet, though," he added cheerfully after a moment, "and she will come back to me in time when I am able really to help her."
"Meanwhile is she to be left utterly uncontrolled?"
"Not if we can do otherwise. Only we must go quietly and not frighten her too much."
Again she met his words with the resigned, hopeless movement of her pretty head in its pearl gray bonnet. "I have done all I can," she said, "and it has been worse than useless. Now you must try if your method is better than mine."
"I am trying," he answered smiling.
For an instant her gaze fluttered irresolutely over him, as if she were moved by a pa.s.sing impulse to a deeper utterance. That this impulse concerned Alice he was vaguely aware, for when had his wife ever spoken to him upon a subject more directly personal? Apart from their children he knew there was no bond between them--no memories, no hopes, no ground even for the building of a common interest. Lydia adored her children, he still believed, but when there was nothing further to be said of d.i.c.k or of Alice, their conversation flagged upon the most trivial topics.
Upon the few unfortunate occasions when he had attempted to surmount the barrier between them, she had appeared to dissolve, rather than to retreat, before his approach. Yet despite her soft, cloud-like exterior, he had discovered that the rigour of her repulsion had hardened to a vein of iron in her nature. What must her life be, he demanded in a sudden pa.s.sion of pity, when the strongest emotion she had ever known was the aversion that she now felt to him? All the bitterness in his heart melted into compa.s.sion at the thought, and he resisted an impulse to take her into his arms and say: "I know, I understand, and I am sorry." Yet he was perfectly aware that if he were to do this, she would only shrink farther away from him, and look up at him with fear and mystification, as if she suspected him of some hidden meaning, of some strategic movement against her impregnable reserve. Her whole relation to him had narrowed into the single instinct of self-defence. If he came unconsciously a step nearer, if he accidentally touched her hand as he pa.s.sed, he had grown to expect the flaring of her uncontrollable repugnance in the heightened red in her cheeks. "I know that I am repulsive to her, that when she looks at me she still sees the convict,"
he thought, "and yet the knowledge of this only adds to the pity and tenderness I feel."
Lydia had moved through the doorway, but turning back in the hall, she spoke with a return of confidence, as if the fact of the threshold, which she had put between them, had restored to her, in a measure, the advantage that she had lost.
"Then I shall leave Alice in your hands. I can do nothing more," she said.
"Give me time and I will do all that you cannot," he answered.
When she had gone upstairs, he crossed the hall to the closed door of the library, and stopped short on hearing Alice"s voice break out into song. The girl was still in her riding habit, and the gay French air on her lips was in accord with the spirited gesture with which she turned to him as he appeared. Her beauty would have disarmed him even without the kiss with which she hastened to avert his reproach.
"Alice, can you kiss me when you know you have broken your promise?"
"I made no promise," she answered coldly, drawing away. "You told me not to go riding with Geoffrey, but it was you that said it, not I, and you said it only because mamma made you. Oh, I knew all the time that it was she!"
Her voice broke with anger and before he could restrain her, she ran from the room and up the staircase. An instant afterward he heard a door slam violently above his head. Was she really in love with Geoffrey Heath? he asked in alarm, or was the pa.s.sion she had shown merely the outburst of an undisciplined child?
CHAPTER VIII
THE WEAKNESS IN STRENGTH
At breakfast Alice did not appear, and when he went upstairs to her room, she returned an answer in a sullen voice through her closed door.
All day his heart was oppressed by the thought of her, but to his surprise, when he came home to luncheon, she met him on the steps with a smiling face. It was evident to him at the first glance that she meant to ignore both the cause and the occasion of last evening"s outburst; and he found himself yielding to her determination before he realised all that his evasion of the subject must imply. But while she hung upon his neck, with her cheek pressed to his, it was impossible that he should speak any word that would revive her anger against him. Anything was better than the violence with which she had parted from him the evening before. He could never forget his night of anguish, when he had strained his ears unceasingly for some stir in her room, hoping that a poignant realisation of his love for her would bring her sobbing and penitent to his door before dawn.
Now when he saw her again for the first time, she had apparently forgotten the parting which had so tortured his heart.
"You"ve been working too hard, papa, and you"re tired," she remarked, rubbing the furrows between his eyebrows in a vain endeavour to smooth them out. "Are you obliged to go back to that hateful office this afternoon?"
"I"ve some work that will keep me there until dark, I fear," he replied.
"It"s a pity because I"d like a ride of all things."
"It is a pity, poor dear," protested Alice, but he noticed that there was no alteration in her sparkling gaiety. Was there, indeed, almost a hint of relief in her tone? and was this demonstrative embrace but a guarded confession of her grat.i.tude for his absence? Something in her manner--a veiled excitement in her look, a subtle change in her voice--caused him to hold her to him in a keener tenderness. It was on his lips to beg for her confidence, to remind her of his sympathy in whatever she might feel or think--to a.s.sure her even of his tolerance of Geoffrey Heath. But in the instant when he was about to speak, a sudden recollection of the look with which she had turned from him last evening, checked the impulse before it had had time to pa.s.s into words.
And so because of his terror of losing her, he let her go at last in silence from his arms.
His office work that afternoon was heavier than usual, for in the midst of his mechanical copying and filing, he was abstracted by the memory of that strange, unnatural vivacity in Alice"s face. Then in the effort to banish the disturbing recollection, he recalled old Adam Crowley, wrapped in his knitted shawl, on the doorstep of his cottage. A check of Richard"s contributing six hundred dollars toward the purchase of a new organ for the church he attended gave Daniel his first opportunity to mention the old man to his uncle.
"I saw Crowley the other day," he began abruptly, "the man who was my father"s clerk for forty years, and whose place," he added smiling, "I seem to have filled."
"Ah, indeed," remarked Richard quietly. "So he is still living?"
"His right arm has been paralysed, as you know, and he is very poor. All his savings were lost in some investments he made by my father"s advice."
"So I have heard--it was most unfortunate."
"He had always been led to believe, I understand, that he would be provided for by my father"s will."
Richard laid down his pen and leaned thoughtfully back in his chair. "He has told me so," he rejoined, "but we have only his word for it, as there was no memorandum concerning him among my brother"s papers."
"But surely it was well known that father had given him a pension. Aunt Lucy was perfectly aware of it--they talked of it together."
"During his lifetime he did pay Crowley a small monthly allowance in consideration of his past services. But his will was an extremely careful doc.u.ment--his bequests are all made in a perfectly legal form."
"Was not this will made some years ago, however, before the old man became helpless and lost his money?"
Richard nodded: "I understood as much from Crowley when he came to me with his complaint. But, as I reminded him, it would have been a perfectly simple matter for Daniel to have made such a bequest in a codicil--as he did in your case," he concluded deliberately.
The younger man met his gaze without flinching. "The will, I believe, was written while I was in prison," he observed.
"Upon the day following your conviction. By a former will, which he then destroyed, he had bequeathed to you his entire estate. You understand, of course," he pursued, after a pause in which he had given his nephew full time to possess himself of the information, as well as of the multiplied suggestions that he had offered, "that the income you receive now comes from money that is legally your own. If it should ever appear advisable for me to do so, I am empowered to make over to you the sum of one hundred and fifty thousand dollars in securities. The princ.i.p.al is left in my hands merely because it is to your interest that I should keep an eye on the investments."
"Yes, I understand, and I understand, too, that but for your insistence my father would probably have left me nothing."
"I felt very strongly that he had no right to disinherit you," returned Richard. "In my eyes he made a grave mistake in refusing to lend you support at your trial----"
"As you did, I acknowledge gratefully," interrupted Daniel, and wondered why the fact had aroused in him so little appreciation. As far as the observance of the conventional virtues were concerned, Richard Ordway, he supposed, was, and had been all his life, a good man, yet something in his austere excellence froze instantly all the gentler impulses in his nephew"s heart. It was impossible after this to mention again the subject of Crowley, so going back to his work, he applied himself to his copying until Richard put down his papers and left the office. Then he locked his desk wearily and followed his uncle out into the street.