"It"s not something ethical doctors do. Especially not psych doctors with emotionally vulnerable patients," said Maria, trying very hard to keep the anger out of her voice.
"When two people fall in love, it doesn"t matter who they are," said Tina. "You"ve never been in love, so you don"t know, do you? He understands me, and I feel completely safe with him. I thought you"d be happy for me! Are you jealous, is that what it is?"
"No," said Maria, out of all the things she might have said.
"This could be the answer to everything," said Tina in a louder voice, leaning back in her seat. "We could get married. Philip would have a real daddy who"s there all the time. And he"s a doctor, you know? He lives in Bel-Air."
"Huh," said Maria. "And that would solve all your problems." Silently she screamed, You wouldn"t have to get a job, you wouldn"t have to go back to school. You really think a doctor who lives in Bel-Air is going to ride to your rescue on a white horse.
"Philip"s happy for me, anyway," said Tina sullenly. "Aren"t you? Wouldn"t you like a new daddy?"
Maria waited until she was at home, alone in her old room, to open the envelope. It contained fifteen sheets of paper. She spread them out on her bed and studied them. They were not what she had expected, at all.
They seemed to be photocopies of sc.r.a.pbook clippings, culled from newspapers and magazines, over a period of many years. Here and there they had been highlighted with a yellow marker, drawing her attention to certain points.
Maria read a story about a rare native species of bunch gra.s.s, long thought to be extinct, found again growing at a construction site out in Antelope Valley. The story next to it concerned another species once thought extinct, a kind of Asian deer, of which a small herd had just been discovered in a remote park in China.
Just below that story was an interview with a man in Sweden who had been cleaning out the attic of an old house and found a sixteenth-century quarto copy of a Shakespeare play. Next to it was a brief account of a cabinet in an old country house in England, opened by a new owner who discovered something locked away and forgotten: a concert piece by Handel, known to music scholars from contemporary references but formerly thought destroyed.
Wondering, Maria read on. All the articles had a common theme: the miraculous survival of lost things. Extinct species of plants and animals, works of art, ma.n.u.scripts, early films. Somehow, in each case, they came to light once more, from whatever dusty shelf or hidden valley they had occupied all the while.
On the last page, someone had written: WHAT IF SOMEONE HAD FIGURED OUT A WAY TO MAKE MONEY OUT OF THESE LITTLE SURPRISES?.
HOW CAN YOU EVER BE SURE OF DEATH?.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT, ISN"T IT?.
"Okay," said Maria quietly. "You really are an obsessive psycho. What"s next? UFOs?"
The doorbell rang.
"Can you get it?" Tina called from the kitchen. "I"m washing dishes."
Maria went out to the living room, noting that Tina had lit one of her pink candles and placed it before the Virgin of Guadalupe. The air was already warm with perfume. Going to the window, she peered through the blinds; a young man in a suit stood on the porch, looking at something he was holding in his hand.
She opened the door. The young man was a stranger to her. As he held up the leather case to display his badge, his coat opened and Maria saw the holster under his left arm.
"LAPD, ma"am. I"m Lieutenant John Koudelka. How are you today?"
"Fine," Maria replied, thinking that he sounded like a salesman.
"Would you be Maria Aguilar?"
"Yes."
"I take it you"re no longer at the place over on Hobart. Would it be all right if I came in and asked you some questions about your father"s death?"
"Sure," said Maria.
He didn"t get down to business at once. Philip rolled himself in to stare, and the young cop was pleasantly paternal; Tina came in, wiping her hands on a dishtowel, and the young cop accepted a gla.s.s of soda from her with pleasant grace. Tina giggled, flirted, and talked about the weather. Maria, watching her, thought sourly: Potential Husband Alert!!!! OmiG.o.d!!!!
But Lieutenant Koudelka was all gravity when, social gambits over, he turned to face Maria and said: "You made a statement to the attending physician when your father died."
"You bet I did," said Maria. "The last time I saw my father alive, he had a bandage on the inside of his arm. I asked him what had happened. He said a doctor had made a house call to do some kind of lab work."
Lieutenant Koudelka nodded. "That seemed strange to you?"
"It seemed strange as h.e.l.l! Evergreen didn"t have any doctors in residence. Any time my father needed a procedure done, they either took him to the clinic or they checked him into the hospital," said Maria.
"Did he say what the lab work was for?"
"He didn"t know," said Maria wearily. "He probably didn"t ask. If somebody in a doctor"s coat had told my father to stand on his head, he"d have done it. He was polite that way. But he was okay when I saw him at seven o"clock, and a day later he was stone dead. And n.o.body"s explained to me anything about this super-virus at Evergreen. You can bet I"m thinking of suing somebody."
She ran out of words and the cop sat, watching her. She looked him in the eye. Finally he looked away and said, "Anda you"d made a complaint earlier, about a man stealing something from your father"s room."
Maria considered. How much could she tell him of the truth, without sounding like a middle-aged fat lady who craved attention and made up stories to get it?
"I saw a guy in a white coat walking around at Evergreen," she said. "Pa.s.sing himself off as a doctor, maybe, huh? And stalking me, and leaving nutcase notes for me to find. With stuff he stole from my father, I might add. Which I would think would be a dead giveaway he was in my father"s room, wouldn"t you think?"
Lieutenant Koudelka"s face registered nothing, but his spine stiffened a little.
"Notes?" he said. "He"s contacted you again?"
Maria decided how much to say.
"I"ll show you the other one," she said, and went and got the envelope with the old photograph.
"See?" She tossed it into his lap. "We found that when we went to clean up his room. It was left in a drawer. Maybe the guy"s got some sick idea about euthanasia? The picture"s from an old family alb.u.m, by the way. I figured he was trying to scare us by telling us how much he knows about us. You want to take it in for fingerprinting?" she added, and felt a bitter glee as Lieutenant Koudelka winced.
She watched his face as he thought about it. Finally he sighed. "Have you handled it a lot?"
"Yeah, actually. What you guys ought to be doing is dusting for prints in the rooms of all the other people at Evergreen, you know that?"
There was only a momentary glint in his eyes saying Lady, don"t tell me my job. "We"re doing that, Ma"am," he said evenly.
After he left, Maria went back to her room and looked at the papers spread out on her bed. Too big a piece of the puzzle, too far out in left field. What connection could any of this possibly have with a serial killer of elderly people?
She bent down, pulled the Tupperware container from its place under her bed and checked. Her gun was still there, still unloaded, lying just as she"d left it. She closed the lid and slid the box back out of sight.
The next few days were quiet. The Evergreen Virus faded further and further back into the papers, and finally vanished, as no new deaths occurred and no answers were found. Maria found herself wondering how many Evergreens occurred but dropped out of the historical record when they were no longer front-page news. In the provincial little Los Angeles of 1937, the Ambrose Muller case had held public attention for weeks; now such things barely rated a headline.
Maria had an overwhelming sense that the present, her present, was sinking out of existence, as the world she had known all her life disappeared. Yet no shining future had risen to replace it; instead, broken and vaguely threatening pieces of the past were bobbing to the surface of time. It seemed the only new thing left on earth was Philip, rolling himself through the old house full of ghosts, babbling at sunbeams. She sat on the couch in silence, watching him, suffocating in love and dull fear.
Two more envelopes came, left in the mailbox this time; one was marked MORE CLUES and the other HOW LONG DO YOU SUPPOSE THESE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN RUNNING THINGS? Both contained more photocopies of clippings on the same subject matter as the other packets, of extinctions reversed, lost treasures found.
There was a photograph in the second one, too. It didn"t disturb Maria as much as it had probably been intended to, because by now she had figured out how the stalker had gotten hold of pictures of her family. He must have rummaged through the bags of ruined and rained-on stuff Tina had set out on the curb.
She felt nothing but gloomy longing, turning over the picture of Hector and Lupe. There they were, young and smiling, dressed up in their best clothes. They were seated at some restaurant table. Where had that been taken?
A fantastic background of sculpted waterfalls and neon palm trees released her long-buried memory: Clifton"s Pacific Seas. It had looked like an indoor Disneyland, with grottos and statues and a pipe organ. She had had her fourth birthday party there. As her birthday cake had been served, the organist had miraculously played the theme from Tubby the Tuba, which was her very favorite song. She had wondered for years how he had known that was her favorite song.
And now here, in this photograph, was another thing to wonder about: a red arrow had been drawn pointing to a man in the background. He was leaning from the waist, apparently addressing another man who was seated ata oh, of course, that must be the organist.
Splash, another memory came bobbing up, one of the stories Lupe had told her. Hector and Lupe had had their wedding dinner at Clifton"s. And the organist had played "La Paloma" for them, their courting song, because Uncle Porfirio had gone over and asked him toa Lupe had her left hand slightly raised in the picture, proudly displaying the gold wedding band. And the man in the backgrounda"what she could see of hima"looked a lot like Uncle Porfirioa Under the red arrow, the stalker had written: WOULDN"T IT BE USEFUL TO LIVE FOREVER? THINK OF THE THINGS YOU COULD SAVE.
n.o.body had saved Clifton"s Pacific Seas, though; it had been torn down years ago. Maria knitted her brows. She had begun to have an inkling of what the stalker was trying to tell her.
Before she could piece any more of the puzzle together, she was interrupted by Tina striding in from the kitchen.
"Listen, Auntie, I had an idea. If we move the last of your stuff out this weekend and really scrub down that apartment, I"ll bet we could get the cleaning deposit back. What do you think?"
"That never happens," said Maria listlessly.
"We could at least try," said Tina. "You know what your problem is? You"re depressed. Cleaning out the place would probably be good for you. You"d get those, whatchacallem, endo-things, and then you"d feel better."
"Endorphins."
"Yeah, those. Come on. We need sponges and spray cleaner. Let"s go to Kmart."
Miles of aisles, cheap consumer goods stacked heaven-high in plastic packaging occasionally pried open. Maria pushed the shopping cart, soundless over gla.s.s-slick linoleum, and marveled at how ba.n.a.l her life was.
Then again, what exactly did I want from the world? I could have had a husband. I could have had kids. I could have been a congresswoman. I"d still have been stuck behind a shopping cart full of Ty-D-Bowl some of the time. These are the days of our livesa "Do you have a mop at your place?" Tina emerged from an aisle with her arms full of bottles of Pine-Sol.
"I guess so," Maria replied.
"What do you mean, you guess so?" Tina dumped the bottles in the cart.
"I think it"s kind of worn out," Maria hazarded, unwilling to admit how little time she had ever spent worrying about waxy yellow buildup or other domestic enormities.
"We"d better get a new one, then," said Tina briskly, and was off like a shot.
"You know what your mommy"s problem is?" Maria said to Philip. "She belongs in the 1950s."
Philip wasn"t paying attention. He had twisted in his seat in the shopping cart and was staring at the aisle containing bath accessories. He pointed, yearning, and turned to look up at Maria.
"What is it?" Maria asked, pushing the cart where he pointed. "You see something you want?"
What he wanted was a package of bath pearls, ruby-red ones in the shape of hearts. When the cart was close enough he reached out and grabbed the pearls, smiling in triumph.
"Honey, those aren"t candies," Maria told him, wresting them out of his grip. "I know, they look sooo tasty. Noa""
Philip threw himself backward in his seat, waving his balled fists, drawing a deep breath as he wound up for a scream.
"Sssh, shh, here! Look, we"ll buy them, okay? You can have a bath with them tonight. You just can"t eat the d.a.m.n things," said Maria, dropping them in the back of the cart. "Hey, Philip, look! We"re driving in a race car! Zoom, zoom!"
She began to speed with him along the aisles, hoping to stave off the tantrum, pushing the cart as fast as she could go.
"Hold on, baby! We"re coming to the first turn! Eeeeeee!"
Philip chortled and held on to the bar, leaning into the turn.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is unbelievable! Philip Aguilar is streaking ahead!" Maria sang, panting as she pushed him along the aisle. "But! Will he handle the next turn without crashing? Eeee! Here he goes!"
Up and down they went, Philip laughing helplessly, until they came around the end of the cosmetic aisle and a ghost stood before them.
Maria froze, staring.
It was the man who had been at the cemetery. His dark gla.s.ses were pushed down on his nose. He was peering over them at a makeup kit, one of several he held in his hands. He turned swiftly and met Maria"s gaze.
She choked, unable to scream.
Uncle Porfirio took a step toward her; then turned on his heel and was just gone. Philip, staring up at her white face, began to shriek in terror.
When Tina found them, Maria was slumped over the cart, trying vainly to breathe and comfort Philip at the same time.
"Oh, my G.o.d!" Tina s.n.a.t.c.hed Philip from her aunt"s arms. "You"re having a heart attack!"
"No, mi hija, I justa""
"Please, please don"t die! We"ll get you on a dieta"Somebody, please help us! My aunta""
"Shut up, for Christ"s sakea""
It took an eternity to convince the store manager that she didn"t need an ambulance, that she was fine, that she"d just felt a little faint (low blood sugar, right, yes) and another eternity to get Tina and Philip calmed down. They found seats in the food court, though the combined smell of pizza, hot dogs, and churros was enough to make anyone pa.s.s out. Tina bought her a lemonade and watched tearfully as she took her medication.
"You have to take care of yourself," Tina insisted. "What would Philip do without his Auntie? When was the last time you had a checkup? You have to make an appointment right away!"
"How? I just lost my medical coverage, remember?" said Maria.
"You could go on the county, like me," said Tina.
"I"d rather die, thanks," Maria retorted.
"It"s not anything to be ashamed of!"
Maria just looked at her sullenly. Tina pursed her lips, looked away, and tried again.
"Okay. There are, like, biofeedback things you could do that would help. You know what your problem is? You take too much responsibility on yourself. You worry all the time. My therapist says we all need to keep in touch with our inner child. You had to take care of Grandma, and you raised me, and then you had to look after Grandpa, too, so you never really had time to be young, did you?"
"That"s for d.a.m.ned sure," Maria muttered, swirling the ice in her drink.
"And then everything that"s happened lately, all this pressure, pressure, pressure, is just going to kill you if you don"t find some way to let it go. You have to do that. Please, Auntie."
"I"ll be fine," said Maria, though she was still ice-cold and shakier than she"d admit. She offered her lemonade to Philip. He pushed it away, staring up at her, much too little to look so worried.
"Let"s go." Maria got to her feet cautiously. "Let"s buy him a toy. He"s had a rough day."
They found the toy aisle and a bin of bright, cheap stuffed toys. Maria let Philip rummage through them while Tina went down to the far end of the aisle. A moment later she came back, looking determined.