— —
Chapter 4: G.o.d(1) Has Guaranteed
Sender: Antelope (Small Antelope fell to extreme bad luck)Sub-section: h.o.m.os.e.xual
t.i.tle: Laozi(2) got married!!!!!
Post Station: Yanshan University Bainianshuren BBS
Somehow, I got a husband!
My sun ah(3)!!!
Sender: Hana (Flower @ Little Antelope is very unlucky)
Sub-section: h.o.m.os.e.xual
t.i.tle: Re: Laozi got married!!!!!
Post Station: Yanshan University Bainianshuren BBS
Pft! Should I say congratulations?
I"ll give you a red envelope with 2 yuan (=3=)
(TNnier1: Actually there are a few wordplays with the naming sense of these characters:
The name of our shou is 凌扬 Ling Yang while his BBS name is 羚羊 Língyáng = Antelope
For our gong, his name is 叶郎Ye Lang while his in-game name is 夜狼Yè Láng = Night Wolf)
He spent 500 yuan for an account; he didn"t complain about the trash of equipment. Alas, he"s been online for just less than half an hour and he was already ranted that his account owed more than 300,000 of debt. This debt, if he can"t pay back, there"s only one way out.
Sell his body to pay off the debt. And that"s to this overbearing husband.
Although, one of the purpose of playing this game is to fish out a shuiage or a handsome guy, it doesn"t mean that one should simply accept such kind of "arranged marriage without love"… Wrong, even his gender he can"t have (连性都 ).
Ling Yang knocked his head angrily on his keyboard: how am I so unlucky.
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: h6ug6uy5g h6t6ugt6gbh
【Private Chat】 Night Wolf: It doesn"t matter even if you cracked open your head; remember the keyboard is not cheap.
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: >皿
If he had known, he would rather buy the [Husband, Please Be Gentle] account and not this one ridden with debts and more empty than the United States Treasury (比美国国库还空虚的负债号).
In Ling Yang"s tens of years of walking rivers and lakes experience, [Night Wolf] is undoubtedly that kind of legendary
In Ling Yang decades of experience in the acc.u.mulation of rivers and lakes, the night wolf is undoubtedly the kind of legendary machismo(4).
Such a man would always treat himself as the sun, while the women revolved around him to please him as their only goal in life.
His worries, his pleasure, and his decisions; he wanted unconditional obedience…
This is the legacy of the feudal society: male supremacy, treating women as inferiors, such a malicious legacy! (这都是封建社会男尊女卑思想的遗毒啊遗毒！)
Although Ling Yang, himself, is a man, he"s very particular about gender equality; especially if the topic is about getting (泡pào) a handsome man. There should be an equality there between men and women. Everyone should have a chance.
(TNnier2: Pfft. Lol LY… Ah, actually that "泡pào" has other meaning… XD)
Ling Yang, thinking with his toes(5), knew that a man like [Night Wolf], most likely prefers small bird-like and timid girls. She must be obedient, well-behaved, and can act spoiled but must also pay attention to the occasion. As for himself, when he"s happy then he"ll give her favor; when he"s unhappy then he"ll leave her aside; and when he"s angry then he"ll carry domestic violence or something.
Instead of treating their other half equally, he treats his own woman as a pet.
Ling Yang confesses he also has his deficiency as a human. But he doesn"t believe that he has a small bird, nor the four characters of cute and helpless-looking person; well, it"s simply unrelated (搭边).
(TNnier3: Some wordplay again by the author—(1) 小鸟Xiǎodiǎo or sometimes Xiǎoniǎo, which means little bird (p.e.n.i.s); and, 小鸟依人 Xiǎoniǎo yīrén, which means (fig.) cute and helpless-looking (girl))
Ling Yang is a man of integrity, but unfortunately there is also a limit to its extent. Thinking about his half a month living expenses may have been wasted; he won"t hesitate anymore.
Without any other solution, he forced himself to think that this is the best way out.
Male Chauvinist(4) sees their woman as their own face, so he"s willing to spend money for her. Moreover, even when she has done something wrong, he"ll absolutely help in her favor. Then she can go back home to plan again.
Because of too much saving face, sometimes the grievance is too much to endure. This cannot be said as a merit or a disadvantage, but it"s definitely a weakness.
With the personality shown by this person in front of him, he can say that at least he"s very direct and not fooling around. In addition, he"s very rich and has a rare sense of loyalty.
Such a man, even if it"s only an act, shouldn"t be a loss.
‘There"s a man of wealth here ah," Ling Yang adjusted his mental construction.
【Private Chat】 Night Wolf: I will go and look for what you can wear. Obediently wait here. You"re not allowed to go out and disgrace.
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: …chirp.
(TNnier4: Hahaha! Remember the bird on TN3? XD)
This started the bird-raising. Ling Yang, as if seeing their future destiny, couldn"t help bursting into tears.
[Night Wolf] left and Ling Yang has nothing to do for a while. Suddenly, he remembered a serious matter that he needed to do.
His highest leveled little apprentice left him a message in QQ (Instant Messenger) to let him know of his new name in the game.
He cared for this apprentice from his old account while the rest of the people in that old server he has no care, whatsoever. Only this little apprentice he cannot give up. Ling Yang decided to tell his transfer to new account only to him and at that time, they vowed that they would play here together.
Therefore, Ling Yang must inform him as soon as he bought a new account.
While he"s on that, he also remembered that old acquaintance that persuaded him to transfer to the new server. "What was his name again…"
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: I"m Ling Yang. Is it you? (我是凌扬，是你吗？)
After sending this, Ling Yang felt cheerful. These words made from both horizontal and vertical folds patterned small children. (发出去后凌扬也乐了,这话横看竖看都倍有小清新范儿)
(TNnier5: AHH! I don"t know!)
Immediately, the system prompted Ling Yang that someone was trying to add him as friends.
【System】 【Fallen Dark Wind】 (落冥风) added you as a friend. Would you like to add each other as friends? [Confirm] [Cancel]
【System】 Your friend 【Fallen Dark Wind】 wants to use the friend locator to transfer to your location. Agree? [Confirm] [Cancel]
Ling Yang answered [Confirm] for both questions and immediately, another person popped to his side.
After seeing [Little Bell], the new arrival obviously paused.
【Private Chat】 Fallen Dark Wind: What is this account?
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: I bought this account.
【Private Chat】 Fallen Dark Wind: The equipment is so… simple (朴素)?
Ling Yang and inside cow(6). The same meaning. How can people express so tactfully.
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: That"s just equipment. I can slowly farm (刷).
【Private Chat】Fallen Dark Wind: I"ll take you to grind (刷).
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: Don"t bother. I have a laborer (劳工).
(TNnier6: Remember the wordplay in Chapter 3? 老公lǎogōng which is a slang for husband and劳工 láogōng which means laborer)
【Private Chat】 Fallen Dark Wind: Oh?
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: Don"t misunderstand. It"s the literal meaning.
【Private Chat】Fallen Dark Wind: Chuckle (呵呵). That"s all right. Come apply, I"ll add you in the guild. Look for no. 7.
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: Ah.
Ling Yang opened the Guild Applications Panel and looked for the 7th guild, 【Fallen Dark 9th Heaven】. He clicked [Apply] to join.
【System】 You already have a guild. Please quit your current guild before applying to join another guild.
"Hey, how can I forget about this thing."
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: I can"t apply.
【Private Chat】 Fallen Dark Wind: What’s going on?
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: This account already has a guild.
【Private Chat】Fallen Dark Wind: Leave.
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: Okay… ah, not okay. Wait I"ll ask.
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: Can I leave the guild?
【Private Chat】 Night Wolf: I dare you give it a try.
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: T___T
【Private Chat】 Night Wolf: My wife and I are not in the same guild. People will snide irresponsible remarks.
"Who"s gonna watch you all day long?! Don"t feel good about yourself!"
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: Hegemony!
【Private Chat】 Night Wolf: Please adapt as soon as possible.
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: …………
Ling Yang comforted himself, "at least he(人家) said “please”…"
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: I cannot leave.
【Private Chat】 Fallen Dark Wind: Why?
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: Laborer won"t let me.
【Private Chat】 Falling gale: …Is he your laborer or your husband? Why do you listen to him so?
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: Slave Yang here now is no longer a free body.
【Private Chat】 Fallen Dark Wind: What’s going on?
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: This account owes a lot of money. I was forced to pay debt.
【Private Chat】Fallen Dark Wind: Owe who? I can help you.
"Yi? Directly asking whom owed to, but didn"t ask how much is owed? I’m scared to death to speak to you."
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: …Forget it. Whom I owe is not whom I sleep with. At any rate, it"s a pit, I would rather pit some stranger. (欠谁不是欠着，反正是要坑，我宁可坑外人)
【Private Chat】 Fallen Dark Wind: Let"s re-build your character. It"ll take a few days to level it up to cap.
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: Don"t! I hate leveling!
【Private Chat】 Fallen Dark Wind: If you are happy (你高兴就好), I won"t force you.
【Private Chat】 Little Bell:
"Which eyes did you see that I"m happy ah!!"
(TNnier7: There"s really nothing on Little Bell"s line above. There are others like this in the following chapters. And I don"t know how their conversation ended on that.)
【Private Chat】 Fallen Dark Wind: Have you thought about the last time I"ve told you?
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: Last time? Didn’t you just tell me to play in this new server?
Fallen Dark Wind fell silent.
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: Oh~ That thing, ah. I haven"t thought of it yet.
【Private Chat】 Fallen Dark Wind: Have you?
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: Besides, even if my heart is willing, the body will not accept at the moment.
Fallen Dark Wind was amused by his words.
【Private Chat】 Fallen Dark Wind: Okay, then, you slowly consider. I"ll wait for you.
The two people kept on staring at each other for a while, none wanted to go.
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: Anything else?
【Private Chat】 Fallen Dark Wind: Your account seems to be a little bit eye catching(7).
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: Scared?
【Private Chat】 Fallen Dark Wind: Someone in the world is talking about you.
Ling Yang has never looked into the world chat. When he heard his words, he opened the world channel and found someone was hanging (挂) on it. Since Ling Yang is yet to be familiar with his new name, he has slow reaction for a long time to realize that the person has been talking about him.
【World】Gu Wenyao(顾文耀): [Little Bell] of 【Qing Sword Guild】is a disguised renyao and cheated money and point cards. But now she swaggers online again. Don"t think after one month everyone will forget it as if nothing happened.
(TNnier8: 剑情帮 Jianqing Bang/ Sword Pa.s.sion Guild/ Qing Sword Guild)
【World】Gu Wenyao(顾文耀): I really should praise how she can keep face until this time ah. And the Qing Sword Guild didn"t even come out to explain and instead cover that liar. I don"t know if I should call you magnanimous or simply protecting the b.a.s.t.a.r.d ne? ( 还是护犊子呢？)
【World】Soy Sauce A (酱油甲): I have a little impression on this matter. Didn"t her husband pay it all back later for her?
【World】 Victims A: ← One of the victims, I say my money was returned.
【World】 Victims B: ← Second, I really get mine back, even with added interest.
【World】 Soy Sauce A: The husband is still hushed even if it"s his wife who was cheated; or is it the so called hacking really cannot be counted as one?
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: Yi? The a.n.a.lysis of this surnamed Gu is very reasonable~
【Private Chat】 Fallen Dark Wind: Indeed.
【World】Jiandie (鹣 鲽)(8): Please rest a.s.sured that we"ll find out the truth with [Little Bell] and give you an account.
【World】 Soy Sauce A: The parties still won"t show up. If you"re being wronged why don"t you come out squeak ah? Or are your guilty conscience dare you not to speak?
【World】 Little Bell: Squeak
【World】 Soy Sauce A: …
【World】 Victim A: …
【World】 Victims B: …
【World】 Night Wolf: Previously, my wife’s account was stolen, but now, it has been recovered. The hacker used my wife"s account to cheat money. But then, I have paid all that a month ago. Whoever troubles my wife afterwards, don"t blame me for being rude.
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: Look, isn"t my labor domineering?
【Private Chat】Fallen Dark Wind: Domineering, but not enough position.
【Private Chat】 Little Bell: Skilled (熟么), meaning?
【World】 Gu Wenyao: Hacking? You say your account was hacked? Who can prove it? Can the game company prove that? Can the GM prove that?
【World】 Lu Xiaobu (吕小布): Old man (吕小布), do you think you"re someone who"s gonna help shoulder it all (肘子) ah?
【World】 Night Wolf: I can guarantee that she is not a s.h.e.m.a.l.e and not a liar.
【World】 Gu Wenyao: You"re her husband, what position do you have to guarantee? Yes, you paid for her cheated money; I respect you there as a man, but you haven"t convinced me yet. I"m just afraid that you"ve also been in the dark. She says some good words and you believe her; you turn around and she will probably fool you once again.
【World】 Night Wolf: I believe her.
【World】 Mo Shangxin (莫殇心): Although I don"t know much about the inner feelings, but I believe that Old Wolf here is not the kind of person who disregards responsibility. I can help pledge for Little Bell.
【World】 Gu Wenyao: You are all from same guild. Of course, you"re gonna protect your own people.
【World】Jiandie: Then, why don"t you give us a reasonable solution? Say, how can we make you believe then? Of course, we will not expel Little Bell from the guild since the hacking is not her fault.
【World】Meng Egg: This person is to kick from the restaurant/hall/inn 来踢馆子, 鲽(flatfish, flounder) sister ignore him.
(TNnier9: Let me know if I should retain Meng Egg or change萌蛋蛋 to Meng Egg egg/ Adorable Eggy/ Meng b.a.l.l.s? Hahaha!)
【World】 Great Grandpa He (贺大爷): This one is no good, that one is also no good; then, what do you really want ah? Aren"t you just bullying people? We say that it"s hacked, what do you want to do now? There"s a way to go, not a way to death(9).
【World】Fallen Dark Wind: I can guarantee.
TL"s Corner:
Okay, I decided to cut those little "things" like [泡pào], or those unusual h.o.m.ophones like [inside cow]. I"ll rephrase or paraphrase to keep as much of the meaning instead of flooding the whole chapter with them. Hopefully it will help me shorten and fasten my translating speed.
I"d appreciate if you can also help me with the naming, especially those characters, skills and guild names. Dang. I"m beat.
Should I just stop including the original texts (RAW)? Do they make this look messy? Welps, don"t forget to leave your corrections and suggestions down to the comment section. That"s really appreciated.
— —
Notes:
(1)大神 dàshén - G.o.d; Internet slang for guru, whiz, expert
(2)老子lǎozi - “I, your father” (in anger, or out of contempt); actual person—Laozi or Lao-tze (c. 500 BC), Chinese philosopher and founder of Taoism
(3)我太阳啊Wǒ tàiyáng ah - My sun ah; sun = day which in zh is 日so then in 我日, this context means both "I"m the sun" and also "f.u.c.k me!". Check here for more:
(4)大男子主义者Dà nánzǐ zhǔyì zhě - machismo; male chauvinism or the prejudice of males against females; the belief that men are superior in terms of ability, intelligence, etc.
(5) 用脚趾头想Yòng jiǎozhǐ tóu xiǎng - thinking with your toes; a metaphor that says the issue is too simple or simply don"t think about it with your brain, the toes are enough
(6)内牛Nèiniú or 内牛满面Nèiniú mǎnmiàn - inside cow; a h.o.m.ophone with泪流满面 Lèiliúmǎnmiàn, which is an idiom that means one"s cheeks are streaming with tears or burst into tears. See:
(7)拉风Lā fēng - pulling the wind; an adjective that refers to the performance of someone cool, stylish, excellent, avant-garde, s.e.xy, etc.; may refer to being eye-catching and other means which can describe a person’s appearance, expression, mood, or the person"s overall temperament
(8)鹣鲽jiāndié/ see 鰈鶼 diéjiān - harmonious and affectionate couple, love birds, deep love; metaphor for the deep feelings between people, especially the feelings between husband and wife, or simply—love
(9)有招想去，没招死去Yǒu zhāo xiǎng qù, méi zhāo sǐqù - There"s a way to go, not a way to death; a way is available and yet did not move to get to it; or check this: