"Frank!" cried Rachel, amazed at his persistence. "Oh, don"t! Let me implore you not to ask him anything more. Frank! do you mind leaving him now? Oh, you must, you must, really. Look at him!"
Sir William, white and exhausted, was leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed. Rendel looked at her face of quivering anxiety as it bent over her father, then turned slowly and left the room.
CHAPTER XVII
Rendel came downstairs, hardly conscious of what he was doing, a wild conflict of emotion raging in his mind. He shut himself into his study, and tried to distinguish clearly the threads of motive and conduct that had become so hideously entangled. It sounds a simple thing, doubtless, as well as a praiseworthy one, to discover the doer of an evil deed, to convict him, to bring home to him what he has done, and to prove the innocence of any other who may be suspected. Such a course, when spoken of in general terms, gives a praiseworthy and sustaining sense of a duty accomplished towards society. But it is in reality a much more complicated operation than we are apt to think. The evildoer, unfortunately for our sense of righteousness in prosecuting him, is not always one who has unmixed evil instincts, and nearly every contingency of human conduct becomes, as we contemplate it, many-sided enough to be very confusing. And it was beginning to dawn upon Rendel that, although it may fulfil the ends of abstract justice that the guilty should be exposed and the innocent acquitted, such an act takes an ugly aspect when the eager pursuer is himself the innocent man who is to be vindicated, and the guilty one a weaker and defenceless person who is to be put in his place. "And yet," he said to himself bitterly, as he tried to think of it impartially, "if it were a question of any one else"s reputation and not of my own I should be bound to say who the guilty man was." What was he to do? What could he do? He did not know how long he had been sitting there when Rachel came quickly in.
"Oh! Frank," she said, with a face of alarm, "he"s very ill. I"m sure he is. I"ve sent for Dr. Morgan to come at once. He fainted after you left, and he"s only just come round again. Oh! I am terribly anxious," and she looked at him, her lips quivering, then put her hands before her eyes and burst into tears.
Rendel"s heart smote him. Everything else, as he looked at her, faded into the background. The thing that mattered was Rachel was the woman he loved. It was he who had brought this grief upon her.
"Darling," he said, "I"m so sorry."
She shook her head and tried to smile.
"Oh," she said, trying to suppress her tears, "I ought not to have left him. I daresay you didn"t know, but it has done him the most terrible harm. Did you tell him, then, about--about--the thing you told me of, that you had been suspected--of telling something--what was it?" and she pa.s.sed her hand over her forehead as if unable to think.
"No," said Rendel, "I didn"t tell him that _I_ had been accused of it. I daresay he guessed I had. I told him it had happened."
"But, Frank, why did you?" she said. "I implored you not."
"Rachel," he said, "do you realise what it means to me that I should be accused of a thing like this?"
"Of course, yes, of course," she said, evidently still listening for any sound from upstairs. "But still a thing like that, that can be put right in a few minutes, cannot matter so much as life and death...."
And again her voice became almost inaudible.
"There are some things," said Rendel in a low voice, "that matter more to a man than life and death."
"Do you mean to say," said Rachel, "that it matters more that you should be supposed to have done something that you have not done, than that my father should not get well?"
"Supposing your father had been wrongfully accused of something underhand and dishonourable," said Rendel, "would not that matter more to him than--than--anything else?"
Rachel put up her hands with a cry as if to ward off a blow.
"My father!" she said, drawing away from Rendel. "You must not say such a thing. How could it be said?"
"You endure," said Rendel, "that it should be said about me."
"About you! That is different," she said, unable in the tension of her overwrought nerves to choose her words. "You are young, you can defend yourself; but it is cruel, cruel of you to say that it might happen to my father. You don"t realise what my father is to me or you couldn"t say such things even without meaning them. No, you can"t know, you can"t understand, or you couldn"t, just for your own sake, have gone to him to-day when he is so ill and told him things that excited him."
"I think I do understand," Rendel said, forcing himself to speak calmly.
"Of course I know, I have always known, perhaps not quite so clearly as to-day, that--that--he must come first with you."
"Oh! in some ways he must, he must," Rachel said, half entreatingly, yet with a ring of determination in her voice. "I promised my mother that I would, as far as I could, take her place, and while he lives I must.
Frank, I would give up my life to save him suffering, as she would have done. Ah! there is Doctor Morgan," and she left the room hastily as a doctor"s brougham stopped at the door.
Rendel stood perfectly still, looking straight before him, seeing nothing, but gazing with his mind"s eye on a universe absolutely transformed--the bright, dancing lights had gone, it was overspread by a dark, settled gloom. There were sounds outside. He was mechanically conscious of Rachel"s hurried colloquy with the doctor in the hall, of their footsteps going upstairs. Then he roused himself. What would the doctor"s verdict be? But he could not remain now, he must hear it on his return from the Foreign Office, he must now go as agreed to Lord Stamfordham. But first, for form"s sake, he rang for Thacker and questioned him, and through him the rest of the household, without result, except renewed and somewhat offended a.s.surances from Thacker that the packet had been given by himself into Stamfordham"s own hands and that, to his knowledge, no one but Sir William Gore had been in the study during Rendel"s absence. But Rendel knew in his heart that there was no need to question any one further, and no advantage in doing so, since he knew also that he could not use his knowledge.
He drove rapidly along in a hansom, unconscious of the streets he pa.s.sed through. Wherever he went he saw only Rachel"s face of misery, heard the words, "just for your own sake," that had cut into him as deeply as his own into Gore. Was that it? he asked himself, was it just for his own sake, to clear himself, that he had accused Gore? Well, why else? Once Stamfordham knew that the thing had been done, the secret revealed, the name of the actual culprit would make no real difference. It would make things neither easier nor more difficult for Stamfordham to know that it had been done, not by himself, but by Sir William Gore. But there was one person besides himself and Gore for whom everything hung in the balance, and it was still with Rachel"s face before him and her words in his ears, that he went into Lord Stamfordham"s private room.
Lord Stamfordham had been writing with a secretary, who got up and went out as Rendel came in. How familiar the room was to Rendel! how incredible it was that day after day he should have come there--was it in some former state of existence?--valued, welcome.
"Well, what have you to tell me?" Stamfordham said quickly.
Rendel"s lips felt dry and parched; he spoke with an effort.
"I am afraid," he said in a voice that sounded to him strangely unlike his own, "that I have ... nothing."
"What?" said Stamfordham. "Have you not made any inquiries? Haven"t you asked every one in your house?"
"I have made inquiries, yes," said Rendel.
"And do you mean to say that there is nothing that can throw any light upon it, no possible solution?"
"I can throw no light," said Rendel.
"But...." said Stamfordham. "Is this all you are going to say? Have you thought of no possibility? Have you no suggestion to offer?"
"I am afraid," said Rendel again, "that I can offer none."
Lord Stamfordham sat silent for a moment, absolutely bewildered. Part of his exceptional administrative ability was the almost unerring judgment he displayed in choosing those he employed about him, and it was an entirely new experience to him to have to suspect one of them, or to impugn the ordinary code of honourable conduct. He found it extremely difficult, autocrat as he was, to put it into words. He was sore and angry at the grave indiscretion, if not something worse, that had been committed, most of all that it should have been himself, the great officer of state, in whom it was unpardonable to choose the wrong tool, who had put that immeasurably important secret into the hands of a man who had somehow or other let it escape from them; so much could not be denied. It certainly seemed difficult to conceive that it should be Rendel himself who had betrayed it, or that if he had betrayed it he would not admit the fact. And yet--could it be?--there was something in Rendel"s demeanour now that made it more possible than it had been an hour ago to credit him with the shameful possibility. The pause during which all this had rushed through Stamfordham"s mind seemed to Rendel to have lasted through untold ages of time, when Stamfordham at last spoke again.
"Rendel," he said, "I have a right to demand that you should give me more satisfaction than this. You say you have learnt nothing, and can tell me nothing, but this I find impossible to believe." Rendel made a movement. "I am sorry, but I say this advisedly, since this disclosure _must_ have taken place in your house," and he underlined the words emphatically. "I can"t think it possible that a man of your intelligence should not have found some clue, some possible suggestion."
"I am very sorry," said Rendel. "I"m afraid I have not."
"Then, of course, it is obvious what conclusion I must come to," said Lord Stamfordham. "That it is not that you cannot give any explanation, but that you decline to give it."
Rendel, to his intense mortification, felt that he was changing colour.
Stamfordham, looking at him earnestly, felt absolutely certain that he knew.
"Rendel," he said, gravely, "take my advice before it is too late. Don"t let a wish to screen some one else prevent you from speaking. If you have had the misfortune to--let the secret escape you, don"t, to shelter the person who published it, withhold the truth now. But I must remind you also," and his words fell like strokes from a hammer, "that I am asking it for my own sake as well as yours. When I brought you those papers, I trusted you fully and unreservedly, and now that this catastrophe has happened in consequence of my confidence in you I am ent.i.tled to know what has happened."
"Yes," Rendel said. "I quite see your position, and I know that you have a right to resent mine, but all I can say is that--" he stopped, then went on again with firmer accents, "I don"t suppose I can expect you to believe me, but as a matter of fact I can"t begin to conceive the possibility of knowingly handing on to some one else such a secret as that."
"Knowingly," said Stamfordham, "perhaps not," and he waited, to give Rendel one more chance of speaking. But Rendel was silent. Then Stamfordham went on in a different tone and with a perceptibly harsher note in his voice. "My time is so precious that I am afraid if you have nothing further to tell me there is no good in prolonging the interview."
"Perhaps not," said Rendel, who was deadly white, and he made a motion as though to go.
"Do you realise," said Stamfordham, "what this will mean to you?"
"Yes," said Rendel, "I do."