"Isn"t that who you are? Man, I"ve done worse. I"ll keep a mental note not to share it with Z. He"s such a nagger when it comes to destruction or having mercy," whispered Raiyen, shaking his head. "How"d you think the kids would react if they see you like this? Mavis lost too much, we all did. You are our leader. What"s gonna happen if the leader buckles down from pressure?" asked Baldwin.
Gillian clenched his fists in fury.
"I"m sick of putting a front up against people. I"m tired of losing people. I can"t win, every time I try to, I always end up losing someone important. Because of our defeat, I"ve taken away the one that made Mavis happy," replied Gillian, looking at the soldiers.
Raiyen looked confused. What did mean by "taken away the one that made Mavis happy"? Certainly not him, right? Half of his mind wanted to intervene but the instruction in his coat said no.
"I can"t continue to be like this. Every time someone dies, I would end up facing the rest of you guys with bravery. Always the one to withstand the pain, the agony, the urge to break down and cry..."
Raiyen looked at the state of the Headmaster in front of him. He felt pity for the man yet he didn"t feel like helping him. If you are that weak within a war, then the battlefield is not for you. Never regret the choices made. Be proud of those choices.
"Today, I"d have enough of this. Time to stop being brave," said Gillian, as his strong facade was starting to break down.
"And who said you have to stop being brave to save people? Who says that you"ve got to suffer alone? And who determined that you had to put up a front against your family?" asked Baldwin, getting somewhat p.i.s.sed.
"I just want to win. If I"d won, he would"ve been still by our side. If I had tried to stop being compa.s.sionate for once, I wouldn"t have detained my anger and power. He"d still be alive. Mavis won"t be able to change into the ruthless person she is now. If we"d won..."
Ruthless? His little Valkyrie, ruthless? Raiyen was getting even more confused at what they were saying. Just then, Z took hold of Gillian"s shoulders. And then proceeded to shake the crushed man before him.
"It"s not about winning, man! It"s never about that. Any old bloke could win under the right circ.u.mstances. It"s more difficult to protect. Even harder to forgive. You would require great amounts of bravery to protect the ones that you love and not lose them."
Raiyen nodded silently in agreement. Though Z may be overprotective, he"s got a point in his words.
"If you stop being brave, then who else is going to be as brave as you? And, it is almost impossible to forgive the people that you hate. It sounds mad, but it is better than killing all of them at once!"
"You expect me to forgive them for what they"ve done?! I turned a blind eye and lost a loved one!"
Gillian"s voice rang through the icy atmosphere with sheer animosity.
"Not all are like that. There"s still some good among these species. Don"t lump everyone in the same league as those killers. And certainly, do not ever be them."
"Then what am I supposed to do, eh?! What person should I be, after losing someone so dear to us?"
"Be that person who fights for not war or winning, but for the sake of defending the innocent. Be the one who stands up for the weak. And above all, be the one to forgive your enemies in the name of compa.s.sion."
Raiyen shivered slightly. Maybe that tidbit of information won"t be so good to tell the Headmaster. Forgiving people is one thing, but forgiving your enemies is another. That ain"t very possible to do.
"You would be applauded for winning, but respected for being benevolent. Hailed as a hero, known throughout history as a merciful. That"s why we appointed you as the leader. We knew, out of everyone, that you were the most capable."
"Just because I"m the oldest, doesn"t mean it defines me of my rank. I can"t hold this t.i.tle of Headmaster just by being old."
"We chose because you are the bravest amidst us. You were the one who showed us all how to determine from right and wrong. Taught us the meaning of family. The meaning of kindness. You took us all in when you could"ve just let us die," said Baldwin.
Raiyen was curious now. What relationship did the Angry Man have with Gillian, before the Arks were made? They fought the most amount of times but Gil seemed to allow Baldwin to talk some sense into his fractured mind.