The majority of the _Dogs_,--_Parrots_,--_Piano-Fortes_, &c. in this Metropolis, are _Actionable Nuisances_!!!
However inferior in rank and fortune, &c. your next door neighbour may be--there are moments when He may render you the most valuable service.--"A Lion owed his life to the exertions of a Mouse."
Those who have not the power to please--should have the discretion not to offend;--the most humble may have opportunities to return a Kindness, or resent an Insult.
It is Madness to wantonly annoy any one.
There is plenty of Time for the performance of all offensively noisy operations, between 10 in the Morning and 10 at Night--during which the industrious Housemaid may indulge her Arms in their full swing--and while she polishes her black-leaded grate to the l.u.s.tre which is so lovely in the eyes of "_the Tidy_," the TAT-TOO her brush strikes up against its sides may be performed without distressing the irritable ears of her Nervous Neighbours--to whom _undisturbed Repose is the most Vital Nourishment_.
_Little Sweep Soot Ho_ is another dreadful disturber.--The shrill screaming of these poor boys, "making night hideous," (indeed at any time) at five or six o"clock in cold dark weather, is a most barbarous custom, and frequently disturbs a whole street before they rouse the drowsy sluggard who sent for him--his _Row dy Dow_ when he reaches the top of the Chimney, and his progress down again, awaken the soundest sleepers, who often wish, that, instead of the Chimney,--he was smiting the skull of the Barbarian who set the poor Child to work at such an unseasonable hour.
The Editor"s feelings are tremblingly alive on this subject.
"Finis coronat opus."
However soundly he has slept during the early part of the night--if the finishing Nap in the morning is interrupted from continuing to its natural termination--his whole System is shook by it, and all that sleep has before done for him, is undone in an instant;--he gets up distracted and languid, and the only part of his head that is of any use to him, is the hole between his Nose and Chin.
The firm Health of those who live in the Country, arises not merely from breathing a purer Air,--but from quiet and regular habits, especially the enjoyment of plenty of undisturbed Repose,--this enables them to take Exercise, which gives them an Appet.i.te, and by taking their food at less distant and more equally divided intervals--they receive a more regular supply of that salutary nourishment, which is necessary to restore the wear of the system, and support it in an uniform state of excitement,--equally exempt from the languor of inanition, and the fever of repletion.
Thus, the Animal Functions are performed with a perfection and regularity, the tranquillity of which, in the incessantly irregular habits of a Town-life, is continually interrupted,--some ridiculous Anxiety or other consumes the Animal Spirits, and the important process of Restoration is imperfectly performed.
_Dyspeptic and Nervous disorders_, and an inferior degree of both extensive and intensive Life[31] are the inevitable consequence, and are the lowest price for (what are called) _the Pleasures of Fashionable Society_.
Dr. Cadogan has told us (very truly) that Chronic diseases, (and we may add, most of those equivocal Disorders, which are continually teasing people, but are too insignificant to induce them to inst.i.tute a medical process to remove them,) are caused by Indolence--Intemperance--and Vexation.
It is the fashion to refer all these Disorders to Debility--but Debility is no more than the effect of Indolence, Intemperance, and Vexation--the two first are under our own immediate control--and Temperance, Industry, and Activity, are the best remedies to prevent, or remove the Debility which reduces our means of resisting the third.
During _the Summer_ of Life[32], _i. e._ the second period of it, (see page 34,) while we hope that every thing may come right, the Heart bounds with vigour, and the Vital flame burns too brightly to be much, or long subdued by vexation.
This originally least cause, soon becomes the greatest, and in _the Autumn_ of our existence, when Experience has dissipated the theatric illusion with which Hope varnished the expectations of our earlier days, we begin to fear that every thing will go wrong.
"The whips and scorns of Time, The oppressor"s wrong, the proud man"s contumely, The pangs of despis"d Love, the Law"s delay, The insolence of office, and the spurns That patient merit of the unworthy takes."
The insatiable ruling pa.s.sions of the second and third periods of Life,--Ambition and Avarice,--the loss of our first and best friends, our Parents,--regret for the past, and anxiety about the future, prevent the enjoyment of the present,--and are _the cause of those Nervous and Bilious Disorders_, which attack most of us at the commencement of the third period of Life--these _precursors of Palsy and Gout_, may generally be traced to Disappointments and Anxiety of mind[33]; and
People need not groan about the Insanities and Absurdities of others--it is surely quite sufficient to suffer for our own, of which most of us have plenty--we ought to endeavour to convert those of others, into causes of comfort and consolation, instead of fretting about them--if you receive rudeness in return for civility--and ingrat.i.tude for kindness, it may move your Pity--but should never excite your Anger--instead of murmuring at Heaven for having created such Crazy Creatures! be fervently thankful that you are not equally inconsistent and ridiculous--and Pray, that your own Mind, may not be afflicted with the like aberrations.
_Indigestion_[34], is the chief cause of perturbed Sleep, and often excites the imaginary presence of that troublesome Bedfellow _the Nightmare_. On this subject see _Peptic Precepts_ (Index.)
Some cannot Sleep if they eat any Supper--and certainly the lighter this meal is, the better--Others, need not put on their Night cap, if they do not first bribe their Stomachs to good behaviour by a certain quant.i.ty of Bread and Cheese and Beer, &c. &c., and go to Bed almost immediately after.
As to the wholesomeness of _a Solid Supper, per se_, we do not think it advisable,--but habit may have made it indispensable, and we know it is often the most comfortable Meal among the middle ranks of Society, who have as large a share of Health as any.
We caution _Bad sleepers_ to beware how they indulge in the habit of exciting sleep, by taking any of the preparations of _Opium_--they are all injurious to the Stomach--and often inconvenient in their effects upon the Bowels:--
"REPOSE _by small fatigue is earned_, and Weariness can snore upon the flint, when nesty Sloth, finds a down pillow hard."
As there can be no good _Digestion_ without diligent _Mastication_,--so there can be no sound _Sleep_, without sufficient _Exercise_.
_The most inoffensive and agreeable Anodyne_ is to drink some good White Wine, or Mulled Wine, by way of a supplement to your Night cap.--One gla.s.s, taken when in Bed, immediately before lying down, is as effective as two or three if you sit up any time after.--(See _Tewahdiddle_, No.
467.)
Many people, if awoke during their first sleep, are unsettled all that night--and uncomfortable and nervous the following day.--The first sleep of those who eat Suppers, commonly terminates when the food pa.s.ses from the Stomach.--Invalids then awake, and sometimes remain so, in a Feverish state,--the Stomach feeling discontented from being unoccupied, and having nothing to play with:--a small crust of Bread, or a bit of Biscuit well chewed, accompanied or not, as Experience and Instinct will suggest, with a few mouthsful of Mutton or Beef Broth (No. 564), or Toast and Water (No. 463*), or single Grog[35], (_i. e._ one Brandy to nine Waters), will often restore its tranquillity, and catch Sleep again, which nothing invites so irresistibly, as introducing something to the Stomach,--that will entertain it, without fatiguing it.
We have heard persons say they have been much distressed by an intemperate craving for Food when they awoke out of their first sleep, and have not got to sleep soundly again after--and risen in the morning as tired as when they went to bed at night--but without any appet.i.te for Breakfast--such will derive great benefit from the foregoing Advice.
_A Broth_ (No. 564), _or Gruel_ (No. 572) _Supper_, is perhaps the best for the Dyspeptic,--and those who have eaten and drank plentifully at Dinner.
THE BED ROOM should be in the quietest situation possible, as it were "_the Temple of Silence_,"--and, if possible, not less than 16 feet square--the height of this Apartment, _in which we pa.s.s almost half of our Time_, is in modern houses absurdly abridged, to increase that of the Drawing Room, which is often not occupied once in a month:--instead of living in the pleasant part of the House, where they might enjoy Light and Air, how often we find people squeezing themselves into "a nice snug Parlour," where Apollo cannot spy.
We do not recommend either _Curtains_ or _Tester_, &c. to the BED, especially during the Summer;--by the help of these, those who might have the benefit of the free circulation of air in a large Room, very ingeniously contrive to reduce it to a small Closet:--_Chimney-Boards_ and _Window-Curtains_ are also inadmissible in a Bed Room; but Valetudinarians who are easily awoke, or very susceptible of Cold, will do wisely to avail themselves of well made _Double[36] Windows and Doors_, these exclude both Noise and Cold in a very considerable degree.
_The best Bed_ is a well stuffed and well curled _Horsehair Mattress_, six inches thick at the Head, gradually diminishing to three at Feet, on this another Mattress five or six inches in thickness: these should be unpicked and exposed to the air, once every Year. An elastic Horsehair mattress, is incomparably the most pleasant, as well as the most wholesome Bed.
_Bed Rooms_ should be thoroughly ventilated by leaving both the Window and the Door open every day when the weather is not cold or damp--during which the Bed should remain unmade, and the Clothes be taken off and spread out for an hour, at least, before the Bed is made again.
_In very Hot Weather_, the temperature becomes considerably cooler every minute after ten o"clock--between eight o"clock and twelve, the Thermometer often falls in Sultry weather--from ten to twenty degrees--and those who can sit up till twelve o"clock, will have the advantage of sleeping in an Atmosphere many degrees cooler, than those who go to bed at ten:--this is extremely important to Nervous Invalids--who however extremely they may suffer from heat, we cannot advise to sleep with the smallest part of the window open during the night--in such sultry days, the _Siesta_ (see page 94,) will not only be a great support against the heat, but will help You to sit up to enjoy the advantage above stated.
_A Fire in the Bed Room_, is sometimes indispensable--but not as usually made--it is commonly lighted only just before bed-time, and prevents Sleep by the noise it makes, and the unaccustomed stimulus of its light.
Chimneys frequently smoke when a fire is first lighted, particularly in snowy and frosty weather; and an Invalid has to encounter not only the damp and cold of the Room--but has his Lungs irritated with the sulphureous puffs from the fresh lighted Fire.
A Fire should be lighted about three or four hours before, and so managed that it may burn entirely out half an hour before you go to Bed--then the air of the room will be comfortably warmed--and certainly more fit to receive an Invalid who has been sitting all day in a parlour as hot as an Oven,--than a damp chamber, that is as cold as a Well.
THE SIESTA.
The Power of _Position_ and _Temperature_ to alleviate the Paroxysms of many Chronic Disorders, has not received the consideration it deserves--a little attention to the variations of the Pulse, will soon point out the effect they produce on the Circulation, &c.--_extremes of Heat and Cold_, with respect to Food, Drink, and Air, are equally to be guarded against.
_Old and Cold Stomachs_--The Gouty--and those whose Digestive Faculties are Feeble--should never have any thing _Cold_[37], or _Old_, put into them--especially in Cold Weather.
_Food must take the temperature of our Stomach_, (which is probably not less than 120,) _before Digestion can commence_.
When the Stomach is feeble, _Cold Food_ frequently produces Flatulence--Palpitation of the Heart, &c.--and all the other troublesome accompaniments of Indigestion.--The immediate remedy for these is Hot Brandy and Water, and the horizontal Posture.
_Dyspeptic Invalids_ will find 75 a good temperature for their drink at Dinner, and 120 for Tea, &c.
Persons who are in a state of Debility from Age,--or other causes,--will derive much benefit from laying down, and seeking Repose whenever they feel fatigued, especially during (the first half-hour at least of) the business of Digestion--and will receive almost as much refreshment from half an hour"s Sleep--as from Half a Pint of Wine.
_The Restorative influence of the rec.u.mbent Posture_, cannot be conceived--the increased energy it gives to the circulation, and to the organs of Digestion, can only be understood by those Invalids who have experienced the comforts of it.
_The Siesta_ is not only advisable, but indispensable to those whose occupations oblige them to keep late hours.
ACTORS especially, whose profession is, of all others, the most fatiguing--and requires both the Mind and the Body to be in the most intense exertion between 10 and 12 o"clock at Night,--should avail themselves of the _Siesta_--which is the true source of Energy--half an hour"s repose in the horizontal posture, is a most beneficial Restorative.