For _[I fear me] I shall be hanged_, whereat the king laughed a good, not only to see the Tanners vaine feare, but also to heare his ill shapen terme, and gaue him for recompence of his good sport, the inheritance of Plumton parke, I am afraid the Poets of our time that speake more finely and correctedly will come too short of such a reward.
[Sidenote: The vice of Surplusage.]
Also the Poet or makers speech becomes vicious and vnpleasant by nothing more than by vsing too much surplusage: and this both not only in a word or two more than ordinary, but in whole clauses, and peraduenture large sentences impertinently spoken, or with more labour and curiositie than is requisite.
[Sidenote: _Pleonasmus_, or Too ful speech.]
The first surplusage the Greekes call _Pleonasmus_, I call him [_too much speech_] and is no great fault, as if one should say, _I heard it with mine eares, and saw it with mine eyes_, as if a man could heare with his heeles, or see with his nose. We our selues vsed this superfluous speech in a verse written of our mistresse, neuertheles, not much to be misliked, for euen a vice sometime being seasonably vsed, hath a pretie grace, _For euer may my true loue liue and neuer die And that mine eyes may see her crownde a Queene._
As, if she liued euer, she could euer die, or that one might see her crowned without his eyes.
[Sidenote: _Macrologia_, or Long language.]
Another part of surplusage is called _Macrologia_, or long language, when we vse large clauses or sentences more than is requisite to the matter: it is also named by the Greeks _Perissologia_, as he that said, the Amba.s.sadours after they had receiued this answere at the kings hands, they tooke their leaue and returned home into their countrey from whence they came.
So said another of our rimers, meaning to shew the great annoy and difficultie of those warres of Troy, caused for _Helenas_ sake.
_Nor Menelaus was vnwise, Or troupe of Troians mad, When he with them and they with him, For her such combat had._
The clauses (_he with them and they with him_) are surpluage, and one of them very impertinent, because it could not otherwise be intended, but that _Menelaus_, fighting with the Troians, the Troians must of necessitie fight with him.
[Sidenote: _Periergia_, or Ouerlabor, otherwise called the curious.]
Another point of surplusage lieth not so much in superfluitie of your words, as of your trauaile to describe the matter which yee take in hand, and that ye ouer-labour your selfe in your businesse. And therefore the Greekes call it _Periergia_, we call it ouer-labor, iumpe with the originall: or rather [_the curious_] for his ouermuch curiositie and studie to shew himselfe fine in a light matter, as one of our late makers, who in most of his things wrote very well, in this (to mine opinion) more curiously than needed, the matter being ripely considered: yet is his verse very good, and his meetre cleanly. His intent was to declare how vpon the tenth day of March he crossed the riuer of Thames, to walke in Saint _Georges_ field, the matter was not as great as ye may suppose.
_The tenth of March when Aries receiued Dan Phoebus raies into his horned head, And I my selfe by learned lore perceiued That Ver approcht and frosty winter fled I crost the Thames to take the cheerefull aire, In open fields, the weather was so faire._
First, the whole matter is not worth all this solemne circ.u.mstance to describe the tenth day of March, but if he had left at the two first verses it had bene inough. But when he comes with two other verses to enlarge his description, it is not only more than needes, but also very ridiculous for he makes wise, as if he had not bene a man learned in some of the mathematickes (by learned lore) that he could not haue told that the x. of March had fallen in the spring of the yeare: which euery carter, and also euery child knoweth without any learning. Then also when he saith [_Ver approcht, and frosty winter fled_] though it were a surplusage (because one season must needes geue place to the other) yet doeth it well inough pa.s.se without blame in the maker. These, and a hundred more of such faultie and impertinent speeches may yee finde amongst vs vulgar Poets when we be carelesse of our doings.
[Sidenote: _Tapinosis_, or the Abbaser.]
It is no small fault in a maker to vse such wordes and termes as do diminish and abbase the matter he would seeme to set forth, by imparing the dignitie, height vigour or maiestie of the cause he takes in hand, as one that would say king _Philip_ shrewdly harmed the towne of _S. Quinaines_, when in deede he wanne it and put it to the sacke, and that king _Henry_ the eight made spoiles in _Turwin_, when as in deede he did more than spoile it, for he caused it to be defaced and razed flat to the earth, and made in inhabitable. Therefore the historiographer that should by such wordes report of these two kings gestes in that behalfe, should greatly blemish the honour of their doings and almost speake untruly and iniuriously by way of abbas.e.m.e.nt, as another of our bad rymers that very indecently said.
_A misers mynde thou hast, thou hast a Princes pelfe._
A lewd terme to be giuen to a Princes treasure (_pelfe_) and was a little more manerly spoken by _Seriant Bendlowes_, when in a progresse time comming to salute the Queene in Huntingtonshire he said to her Cochman, stay thy cart good fellow, stay thy cart, that I may speake to the Queene, whereat her Maiestie laughed as she had bene tickled, and all the rest of the company although very graciously (as her manner is) she gaue him great thanks and her hand to kisse. These and such other base wordes do greatly disgrace the thing & the speaker or writer: the Greekes call it [_Tapinosis_] we the [_abbaser._]
[Sidenote: Bomphiologia, or Pompious speech.]
Others there be that fall into the contrary vice by vsing such bombasted wordes, as seeme altogether farced full of winde, being a great deale to high and loftie for the matter, whereof ye may finde too many in all popular rymers.
[Sidenote: _Amphibologia_, or the Ambiguous.]
Then haue ye one other vicious speach with which we will finish this Chapter, and is when we speake or write doubtfully and that the sence may be taken two wayes, such ambiguous termes they call _Amphibologia_, we call it the _ambiguous_, or figure of sence incertaine, as if one should say _Thomas Tayler_ saw _William Tyler_ dronke, it is indifferent to thinke either th"one or th"other dronke. Thus said a gentleman in our vulgar pretily notwithstanding because he did it not ignoratnly, but for the nonce.
_I sat by my Lady soundly sleeping, My mistresse lay by me bitterly weeping._
No man can tell by this, whether the mistresse or the man, slept or wept: these doubtfull speaches were vsed much in the old times by their false Prophets as appeareth by the Oracles of _Delphos_ and and of the _Sybille_ prophecies deuised by the religious persons of those dayes to abuse the superst.i.tious people, and to enc.u.mber their busie braynes with vaine hope or vaine feare.
_Lucretius_ the merry Greeke reciteth a great number of them, deuised by a coosening companion one _Alexander_, to get himselfe the name and reputation of the G.o.d _Aesculapius_, and in effect all our old Brittish and Saxon prophesies be of the same sort, that turne them on which side ye will, the matter of them may be verified, neuerthelesse carryeth generally such force in the heades of fonde people, that by the comfort of those blind prophecies many insurrections and rebellions have bene stirred vp in this Realme, as that of _Iacke Straw & Iacke Cade_ in _Richard_ the seconds time, and in our time by a seditious fellow in Norffolke calling himself Captaine Ket and others in other places of the Realme lead altogether by certaine propheticall rymes, which might be construed two or three wayes as well as to that one whereunto the rebelles applied it: our maker shall therefore auoyde all such ambiguous speaches vnlesse it be when he doth it for the nonce and for some purpose.
_CHAP. XXIII._
_What it is that generally makes our speach well pleasing & commeniable and of that which the Latines call Decorum._
In all things to vse decencie, is it onely that giueth euery thing his good grace & without which nothing in mans speach could seeme good or gracious, in so much as many times it makes a bewtifull figure fall into deformitie, and on th"other side a vicious speach seeme pleasaunt and bewtifull: this decencie is therfore the line & leuell for al good makers to do their busines by. But herein resteth the difficultie to know what this good grace is, & wherein it confitted, for peraduenture it be easier to conceaue then to expresse, we wil therfore examine it to the bottome & say: that euery thing which pleaseth the mind or sences, & the mind by the sences as by means instrumentall, doth it for some amiable point or qualitie that is in it, which draweth them to a good liking and contentment with their proper obiects. But that cannot be if they discouer any illfauorednesse or disproportion to the partes apprehensiue, as for example, when a sound is either too loude or too low or otherwise confuse, the eare is ill affected: so is th"eye if the coulour be sad or not liminous and recreatiue, or the shape of a membred body without his due measures and simmetry, and the like of euery other sence in his proper function. These excesses or defectes or confusions and disorders in the sensible objectes are deformities and vnseemely to the sence. In like sort the mynde for the things that be his mentall obiectes hath his good graces and his bad, whereof th"one contents him wonderous well, th"other displeaseth him continually, no more nor no lesse then ye see the discords of musicke do to a well tuned eare. The Greekes call this good grace of euery thing in his kinde, [Greek: illegible], the Latines [_decorum_] we in our vulgar call it by a scholasticall terme [_decencie_] our owne Saxon English terme is [_seemelynesse_] that is to say, for his good shape and vtter appearance well pleasing the eye, we call it also [_comelynesse_]
for the delight it bringeth comming towards vs, and to that purpose may be called [_pleasant approche_] so as euery way seeking to expresse this [Greek: illegible] of the Greekes and _decorum_ of the Latines, we are faine in our vulgar toung to borrow the terme which our eye onely for his n.o.ble prerogatiue ouer all the rest of the sences doth vsurpe, and to apply the same to all good, comely, pleasant and honest things, euen to the spirituall obiectes of the mynde, which stand no lesse in the due proportion of reason and discourse than any other materiall thing doth in his sensible bewtie, proportion and comelynesse.
Now because this comelynesse resteth in the good conformitie of many things and their sundry circ.u.mstances, with respect one to another, so as there be found a iust correspondencie betweene them by this or that relation, the Greekes call it _a.n.a.logie_ or a conuenient proportion. This louely conformitie or proportion or conueniencie betweene the sence and the sensible hath nature her selfe first most carefully obserued in all her owne workes, then also by kinde graft it in the appet.i.tes of euery creature working by intelligence to couet and desire: and in their actions to imitate & performe: and of man chiefly before any other creature as well in his speaches as in euery other part of his behauiour. And this in generalitie and by an vsuall terme is that which the Latines call [_decorum_.] So albeit we before alleaged that all our figures be but transgressions of our dayly speach, yet if they fall out decently to the good liking of the mynde or eare and to the bewtifying of the matter or language, all is well, if indecently, and to the eares and myndes misliking (be the figure of it selfe neuer so commendable) all is amisse, the election is the writers, the iudgement is the worlds, as theirs to whom the reading apperteineth. But since the actions of man with their circ.u.mstances be infinite, and the world likewise replenished with many iudgements, it may be a question who shal haue the determination of such controuersie as may arise whether this or that action or speach be decent or indecent: and verely it seemes to go all by discretion, not perchaunce of euery one, but by a learned and experienced discretion, for otherwise seemes the _decorum_ to a weake and ignorant iudgement, then it doth to one of better knowledge and experience: which sheweth that it resteth in the discerning part of the minde, so as he who can make the best and most differences of things by reasonable and wittie distinction is to be the fittest iudge or sentencer of [_decencie_.] Such generally is the discreetest man, particularly in any art the most skilfull and discreetest, and in all other things for the more part those that be of much obseruation and greatest experience. The case then standing that discretion must chiefly guide all those business, since there be sundry sortes of discretion all unlike, euen as there be men of action or art, I see no way so fit to enable a man truly to estimate of [_decencie_] as example, by whose veritie we may deeme the differences of things and their proportions, and by particular discussions come at length to sentence of it generally, and also in our behauiours the more easily to put it in execution. But by reason of the sundry circ.u.mstances, that mans affaires are as it were wrapt in, this [_decencie_] comes to be very much alterable and subiect to varietie, in so much as our speech asketh one maner of _decencie_, in respect of the person who speakes: another of his to whom it is spoken: another of whom we speake: another of what we speak, and in what place and time and to what purpose. And as it is of speach, so of al other our behauiours. We wil therefore set you down some few examples of euery circ.u.mstance how it alters the decencie of speach or action. And by these few shal ye be able to gather a number more to confirme and establish your iudgement by a perfit discretion.
This decencie, so farfoorth as apperteineth to the consideration of our art, resteth in writing, speech and behauiour. But because writing is no more then the image or character of speech, they shall goe together in these our observations. And first wee wil sort you out diuers points, in which the wise and learned men of times past haue noted much decency or vndecencie, every man according to his discretion, as it hath bene said afore: but wherein for the most part all discreete men doe generally agree, and varie not in opinion, whereof the examples I will geue you be worthie of remembrance: & though they brought with them no doctrine or inst.i.tution at all, yet for the solace they may geue the readers, after such a rable of scholastical precepts which be tedious, these reports being of the nature of matters historicall, they are to be embraced: but olde memories are very profitable to the mind and serue as a gla.s.se to looke vpon and behold the euents of time, and more exactly to skan the trueth of every case that shall happen in the affaires of man, and many there be that haply doe not obserue euery particularitie in matters of decencie or vndecencie: and yet when the case is tolde them by another man, they commonly geue the same sentence vpon it. But yet whosoeuer obserueth much, shalbe counted the wisest and discreetest man, and whosoever spends all his life in his owne vaine actions and conceits, and obserues no mans else, he shal in the ende prooue but a simple man. In which respect it is alwaies said, one man of experience is wiser than tenne learned men, because of his long and studious obseruation and often triall.
And your decencies are of sundrie sorts, according to the many circ.u.mstances accompanying our writing, speech or behauiour, so as in the very sound or voice of him that speaketh, there is a decencie that becommeth, and an vndecencie that misbecommeth vs, which th"Emperor _Anthonine_ marked well in the Orator _Philisetes_, who spake before him with so small and shrill a voice as the Emperor was greatly annoyed therewith, and to make him shorten his tale, said, by thy beard thou shouldst be a man, but by thy voice a woman.
_Phanorinus_ the Philosopher was counted very wise and well learned, but a little too talkatiue and full of words: for the which _Timocrates_ reprooued him in the hearing of one _Polemon_. That is no wonder quoth _Polemon_, for so be all women. And besides, _Phanorinus_ being knowen for an Eunuke or gelded man, came by the same nippe to be noted as an effeminate and degenerate person.
And there is a measure to be vsed in a mans speech or tale, so as it be neither for shortnesse too darke, nor for length too tedious. Which made _Cleomenes_ king of the Lacedemonians geue this vnpleasant answere to the Amba.s.sadors or the Samiens, who had tolde him a long message from their Citie, and desired to know his pleasure in it. My masters (saith he) the first part of your tale was so long, that I remember it not, which made that the second I vnderstoode not, and as for the third part I doe nothing well allow of. Great princes and graue counsellors who haue little spare leisure to hearken, would haue speeches vsed to them such as be short and sweete.
And if they be spoken by a man of account, or one who for his yeares, profession or dignitie should be thought wise & reuerend, his speeches & words should also be graue, pithie & sententious, which was well noted by king _Antiochus_, who likened _Hermogenes_ the famous Orator of Greece, vnto these fowles in their moulting time, when their feathers be sick, and be so loase in the flesh that at any little rowse they can easilie shake them off: so saith he, can _Hermogenes_ of all the men that euer I knew, as easilie deliuer from him his vaine and impertinent speeches and words.
And there is a decencie, that euery speech should be to the appet.i.te and delight, or dignitie of the hearer & not for any respect arrogant or vndutifull, as was that of _Alexander_ sent Emba.s.sadour from the _Athenians_ to th"Emperour _Marcus_, this man seing th"emperour not so attentiue to his tale, as he would haue had him, said by way of interruption, _Ceasar_ I pray thee giue me better eare, it seemest thou knowest me not, nor from whom I came: the Emperour nothing well liking his bold malapert speech, said: thou art deceyued, for I heare thee and know well inough, that thou art that fine, foolish, curious, sawcie _Alexander_ that tendest to nothing but to combe & cury thy haire, to pare thy nailes, to pick thy teeth, and to perfume thy selfe with sweet oyles, that no man may abide the sent of thee. Prowde speeches, and too much finesse and curiositie is not commendable in an Emba.s.sadour. And I haue knowen in my time such of them, as studied more vpon what apparel they should weare, and what countenaunces they should keepe at the times of their audience, then they did vpon th"effect of their errant or commission.
And there is decency in that euery man should talke of the things they haue best skill of, and not in that, their knowledge and learning serueth them not to do, as we are wont to say, he speaketh of Robin hood that neuer shot in his bow: there came a great Oratour before _Cleomenes_ king of _Lacedemonia_, and vttered much matter to him touching fort.i.tude and valiancie in the warres: the king laughed: why laughest thou quoth the learned man, since thou art a king thy selfe, and one whom fort.i.tude best becommeth? why said Cleomenes would it not make any body laugh, to heare the swallow who feeds onely vpon flies to boast of his great pray, and see the eagle stand by and say nothing? if thou wert a man of warre or euer hadst bene day of thy life, I would not laugh to here thee speake of valiancie, but neuer being so, & speaking before an old captaine I can not choose but laugh.
And some things and speaches are decent or indecent in respect of the time they be spoken or done in. As when a great clerk presented king _Antiochus_ with a booke treating all of iustice, the king that time lying at the siege of a towne, who lookt vpon the t.i.tle of the booke, and cast it to him againe: saying, what a diuell tellest thou to me of iustice, now thou seest me vse force and do the best I can to bereeue mine enimie of his towne? euery thing hath his season which is called Oportunitie, and the vnfitnesse or vndecency of the time is called Importunitie.
Sometime the vndeceny ariseth by the indignitie of the word in respect of the speaker himselfe, as whan a daughter of Fraunce and next heyre generall to the crowne (if the law _Salique_ had not barred her) being set in a great chaufe by some harde words giuen her by another prince of the bloud, said in her anger, thou durst not haue said thus much to me if G.o.d had giuen me a paire of, &c. and told all out, meaning if G.o.d had made her a man and not a woman she had bene king of Fraunce. The word became not the greatnesse of her person, and much lesse her s.e.x, whose chiefe virtue shamefastnesse, which the Latines call _Verecundia_, that is a naturall feare to be noted with any impudicitie: so as when they heare or see any thing tending that way they commonly blush, & is a part greatly praised in all women.
Yet will ye see in many cases how pleasant speeches and fauouring some skurrillity and vnshamefastnes haue now and then a certaine decencie, and well become both the speaker to say, and the hearer to abide, but that is by reason of some other circ.u.mstance, as when the speaker himselfe is knowne to be a common iester or buffon, such as take vpon them to make princes merry, or when some occasion is giuen by the hearer to induce such a pleasaunt speach, and in many other cases whereof no generall rule can be giuen, but are best knowen by example: as when Sir _Andrew Flamock_ king _Henry_ the eights standerdbearer, a merry conceyted man and apt to skoffe, waiting one day at the kings heeles when he entred the parke at Greenewich, the king blew his horne, _Flamock_ hauing his belly full, and his tayle at commaundment, gaue out a rappe nothing faintly, that the king turned him about and said how now sirra? _Flamock_ not well knowing how to excuse his vnmannerly act, if it please you Sir quoth he, your Maiesty blew one blast for the keeper and I another for his man. The king laughed hartily and tooke it nothing offensiuely: for indeed as the case fell out it was not vndecently spoken by Sir _Andrew Flamock_, for it was the cleaneliest excuse he could make, and a merry implicatiue in termes nothing odious, and therefore a sporting satisfaction to the kings mind, in a matter which without some such merry answere could not haue bene well taken. So was _Flamocks_ action most vncomely, but his speech excellently well becoming the occasion.
But at another time and in another like case, the same skurrillitie of _Flamock_ was more offensiue, because it was more indecent. As when the king hauing _Flamock_ with him in his barge, pa.s.sing from Westminster to Greenewich to visite a fayre Lady whom the king loued and was lodged in the tower of the Parke: the king comming within sight of the tower, and being disposed to be merry, said, _Flamock_ let vs rime: as well as I can said _Flamock_ if it please your grace. The king began thus: _Within this towre, There lieth a flowre, That hath my hart._
_Flamock_ for aunswer: _Within this hower, she will, &c._ with the rest in so vncleanly termes, as might not now become me by the rule of _Decorum_ to vtter writing to so great a Maiestie, but the king tooke them in so euill part, as he bid _Flamock_ auaunt varlet, and that he should no more be so neere vnto him. And wherein I would faine learne, lay this vndecencie? in the skurrill and filthy termes not meete for a kings eare?
perchance so. For the king was a wise and graue man, and though he hated not a faire woman, liked he nothing well to heare speeches of ribaudrie: as they report of th"emperour _Octauian: Licet fuerit ipse incontinentissimus, fuit tamen incontinense feuerissimus vltor._ But the very cause in deed was for that _Flamocks_ reply answered not the kings expectation, for the kings rime commencing with a pleasant and amorous proposition: Sir _Andrew Flamock_ to finish it not with loue but with lothsomnesse, by termes very rude and vnciuill, and seing the king greatly fauour that Ladie for her much beauty by like or some other good partes, by his fastidious aunswer to make her seeme odious to him, it helde a great disproportion to the kings appet.i.te, for nothing is so vnpleasant to a man, as to be encountered in his chiefe affection, & specially in his loues, & whom we honour we should also reuerence their appet.i.tes, or at the least beare with them (not being wicked and vtterly euill) and whatsoeuer they do affect, we do not as becommeth vs if we make it seeme to them horrible. This in mine opinion was the chiefe cause of the vndecencie and also of the kings offence. _Aristotle_ the great philosopher knowing this very well, what time he put _Calistenes_ to king _Alexander_ the greats seruice gaue him this lesson. Sirra quoth he, ye go now from a scholler to be a courtier, see ye speake to the king your maister, either nothing at all, or else that which pleaseth him, which rule if _Calistenes_ had followed and forborne to crosse the kings appet.i.te in diuerse speeches, it had not cost him so deepely as afterward it did. A like matter of offence fell out betweene th"Emperour _Charles_ the fifth, & an Emba.s.sadour of king _Henry_ the eight, whom I could name but will not for the great opinion the world had of his wisdome and sufficiency in that behalfe, and all for misusing of a terme. The king in the matter of controuersie betwixt him and Ladie _Catherine_ of _Castill_ the Emperours awnt, found himselfe grieued that the Emperour should take her part and worke vnder hand with the Pope to hinder the diuorce: and gaue his Emba.s.sadour commission in good termes to open his griefes to the Emperour, and to expostulat with his Maiestie, for that he seemed to forget the kings great kindnesse and friendship before times vsed with th"Emperour, aswell by disbursing for him sundry great summes of monie which were not all yet repayd: as also furnishing him at his neede with store of men and munition to his warres, and now to be thus vsed he thought it a very euill requitall. The Emba.s.sadour for too much animositie and more then needed in the case, or perchance by ignorance of the proprietie of the Spanish tongue, told the Emperour among other words, that he was _Hombre el mas ingrato enel mondo_, the ingratest person in the world to vse his maister so. The Emperour tooke him suddainly with the word, and said: callest thou me _ingrate_? I tell thee learne better termes, or else I will teach them thee. Th"Emba.s.sadour excused it by his commission, and said: they were the king his maisters words, and not his owne. Nay quoth th"Emperour, thy maister durst not haue sent me these words, were it not for that broad ditch betweene him & me, meaning the sea, which is hard to pa.s.se with an army of reuenge. The Emba.s.sadour was commanded away & no more hard by the Emperor, til by some other means afterward the grief was either pacified or forgotten, & all this inconuenience grew by misuse of one word, which being otherwise spoken & in some sort qualified, had easily holpen all, & yet th"Emba.s.sadour might sufficiently haue satisfied his commission & much better aduaunced his purpose, as to haue said for this word [_ye are ingrate_,] ye haue not vsed such grat.i.tude towards him as he hath deserued: so ye may see how a word spoken vndecently, not knowing the phrase or proprietie of a language, maketh a whole matter many times miscarrie. In which respect it is to be wished, that none Amba.s.sadour speake his princ.i.p.all commandements but in his own language or in another as naturall to him as his owne, and so it is vsed in all places of the world sauing in England. The Princes and their commissioners fearing least otherwise they might vtter any thing to their disaduantage, or els to their disgrace: and I my selfe hauing seene the Courts of Fraunce, Spaine, Italie, and that of the Empire, with many inferior Courts, could neuer perceiue that the most n.o.ble personages, though they knew very well how to speake many forraine languages, would at any times that they had bene spoken vnto, answere but in their owne, the Frenchman in French, the Spaniard in Spanish, the Italian in Italian, and the very Dutch Prince in the Dutch language: whether it were more for pride, or for feare of any lapse, I cannot tell. And _Henrie_ Earle of Arundel being an old Courtier and a very princely man in all his actions, kept that rule alwaies. For on a time pa.s.sing from England towards Italie by her maiesties licence, he was very honorably enterteined at the Court of Brussels, by the Lady d.u.c.h.es of Parma, Regent there: and sitting at a banquet with her, where also was the Prince of Orange, with all the greatest Princes of the state, the Earle, though he could reasonably well speake French, would not speake one French word, but all English, whether he asked any question, or answered it, but all was done by Truchemen. In so much as the Prince of Orange maruelling at it, looked a side on that part where I stoode a beholder of the feast, and sayd, I maruell your n.o.blemen of England doe not desire to be better languaged in the forraine languages. This word was by and by reported to the Earle. Quoth the Earle againe, tell my Lord the Prince, that I loue to speake in that language, in which I can best vtter my mind and not mistake.
Another Amba.s.sadour vsed the like ouersight by ouerweening himselfe that he could naturally speake the French tongue, whereas in troth he was not skilfull in their termes. This Amba.s.sadour being a Bohemian, sent from the Emperour to the French Court, whereafter his first audience, he was highly feasted and banquetted. On a time, among other a great Princesse sitting at the table, by way of talke asked the Amba.s.sador whether the Empresse his his mistresse when she went a hunting, or otherwise trauailed abroad for her solace, did ride a horsback or goe in her coach. To which the Amba.s.sadour answered vnwares and not knowing the French terme, _Par ma foy elle chenauche fort bien; & si en prend grand plaisir_. She rides (saith he) very well, and takes great pleasure in it. There was good smiling one vpon another of the Ladies and Lords, the Amba.s.sador wist not whereat, but laughed himselfe for companie. This word _Chenaucher_ in the French tongue hath a reprobate sence, specially being spoken of a womans riding.
And as rude and vnciuill speaches carry a marueilous great indecencie, so doe sometimes those that be ouermuch affected and nice: or that doe fauour of ignorance or adulation, and be in the eare of graue and wise persons no lesse offensive than the other: as when a sutor in Rome came to _Tiberius_ the Emperor and said, I would open my case to your Maiestie, if it were not to trouble your sacred businesse, _sacras vestras occupationes_ as the Historiographer reporteth. What meanest thou by that terme quoth the Emperor, say _laboriosas_ I pray thee, & so thou maist truely say, and bid him leaue off such affected flattering termes.
The like vndencie vsed a Herald at armes sent by _Charles_ the fifth Emperor, to _Fraunces_ the first French king, bringing him a message of defiance, and thinking to qualifie the bitterness of his message with words pompous and magnificent for the kings honor, vsed much this terme (sacred Maiestie) which was not vsually geuen to the French king, but to say for the most part [_Sire_] The French king neither liking his errant, nor yet of his pompous speech, said somewhat sharply, I pray thee good fellow clawe me not where I itch not with thy sacred maiestie but goe to they businesse, and tell thine errand in such termes as are decent betwixt enemies, for thy master is not my frend, and turned him to a Prince of the bloud who stoode by, saying, me thinks this fellow speakes like Bishop _Nicholas_, for on Saint _Nicholas_ night commonly the Scholars of the Countrey make them a Bishop, who like a foolish boy, goeth about blessing and preaching with so childish termes, as maketh the people laugh at his foolish counterfait speeches.
And yet in speaking or writing of a Princes affaires & fortunes there is a certaine _Decorum_, that we may not vse the same termes in their busines, as we might very wel doe in a meaner persons, the case being all one, such reuerence is due to their estates. As for example, if an Historiographer shal write of an Emperor or King, how such a day hee ioyned battel with his enemie, and being ouer-laide ranne out of the fielde, and tooke his heeles, or put spurre to his horse and fled as fast as he could: the termes be not decent, but of a meane souldier or captaine, it were not vndecently spoken. And as one, who translating certaine bookes of _Virgils aeneidos_ into English meetre, said that _aeneas_ was fayne to trudge out of Troy: which terme became better to be spoken of a beggar, or of a rogue, or a lackey: for so wee vse to say to such maner of people, be trudging hence.
Another Englishing this word of _Virgill_ [_fato profugus_] called _aeneus_ [_by fate a fugitiue_] which was vndecently spoken, and not to the Authours intent in the same word: for whom he studied by all means to auaunce aboue all other men of the world for virtue and magnanimitie he meant not to make him a fugitiue. But by occasion of his great distresses, and of the hardnesse of his destinies, he would haue it appeare that _aeneas_ was enforced to flie out of _Troy_, and for many yeeres to be a romer and a wandrer about the world both by land and sea [_fato profugus_]
and never to find any resting place till he came into _Italy_, so as ye may euidently perceiue in this terme [_fugitiue_] a notable indignity offred to that princely person, and by th"other word a wanderer, none indignitie at all, but rather a terme of much loue and commiseration. The same translatour when he came to these words: _Insignem pietate virum tot voluere casus tot adire labores compulit._ Hee turned it thus, what moued _Iuno_ to tugge so great a captaine as _aeneus_, which word tugge spoken in this case is so vndecent as none other coulde haue bene deuised, and tooke his first originall from the cart, because it signifieth the pull or draught of the oxen or horses, and therefore the leathers that beare the chiefe stresse of the draught, the cartars call them tugges, and so wee vse to say that shrewd boyes tugge each other by the eares, for pull.
Another of our vulgar makers, spake as illfaringly in this verse written to the dispraise of a rich man and couetous. Thou hast a misers minde (thou hast a princes pelfe) a lewde terme to be spoken of a princes treasure, which in no respect nor for any cause is to be called pelfe, though it were neuer so meane, for pelfe is properly the sc.r.a.ppes or shreds of taylors and of skinners, which are accompted of so vile price as they be commonly cast out of dores, or otherwise bestowed vpon base purposes: and carrieth not the like reason or decencie, as when we say in reproch of a n.i.g.g.ard or vserer, or worldly couetous man, that he setteth more by a little pelfe of the world, than by his credit or health, or conscience. For in comparison of these treasours, all the gold or siluer in the world may by a skornefull terme be called pelfe, & so ye see that the reason of the decencie holdeth not alike in both cases. Now let vs pa.s.se from these examples, to treate of those that concerne the comelinesse and decencie of mans behauiour.
And some speech may be whan it is spoken very vndecent, and yet the same hauing afterward somewhat added to it may become prety and decent, as was the stowte worde vfed by a captaine in Fraunce, who sitting at the lower end of the Duke of _Guyses_ table among many, the day after there had bene a great battaile foughten, the Duke finding that this captaine was not seene that day to do any thing in the field, taxed him priuily thus in al the hearings. Where were you Sir the day of the battaile, for I saw ye not? the captaine answered promptly: where ye durst not haue bene: and the Duke began to kindle with the worde, which the Gentleman perceiuing, said spedily: I was that day among the carriages, where your excellencie would not for a thousand crownes haue bene seene. Thus from vndecent it came by a wittie reformation to be made decent againe.
The like hapned on a time at the Duke of Northumberlandes bourd, where merry _John Heywood_ was allowed to sit at the tables end. The Duke had a very n.o.ble and honorable mynde always to pay his debts well, and when he lacked money, would not stick to sell the greatest part of his plate: so had he done few dayes before. _Heywood_ being loth to call for his drinke so oft as he was dry, turned his eye toward the cupbord and sayd I finde great misse of your graces standing cups: the Duke thinking he had spoken it of some knowledge that his plate was lately sold, said somewhat sharpely, why Sir will not those cuppes serue as good a man as your selfe.
_Heywood_ readily replied. Yes if it please your grace, but I would haue one of them stand still at myne elbow full of drinke that I might not be driuen to trouble your men so often to call for it. This pleasant and speedy reuers of the former wordes holpe all the matter againe, whereupon the Duke became very pleasaunt and dranke a bolle of wine to _Heywood_, and bid a cup should alwayes be standing by him.
It were to busie a peece of worke for me to tell you of all the partes of decencie and indecency which haue bene obserued in the speaches of man & in his writings, and this that I tell you is rather to solace your eares with pretie conceits after a sort of long scholasticall preceptes which may happen haue doubled them, rather then for any other purpose of inst.i.tution or doctrine, which to any Courtier of experience, is not necessarie in this behalfe. And as they appeare by the former examples to rest in our speach and writing: so do the same by like proportion consist in the whole behauiour of man, and that which he doth well and commendably is euer decent, and the contrary vndecent, not in euery mans iudgement alwayes one, but after their seuerall discretion and by circ.u.mstance diuersly, as by the next Chapter shalbe shewed.