"-con."He bit his tongue.
"b.a.s.t.a.r.d!" Roland cursed.
He HATED teleportation. It was a f.u.c.ky way to travel and everyone knew it. You could wind up halfway between a wall if something went wrong and even if you didn"t you were still left feeling like your organs were shifted a bit too far to the left. Ever have a bed sore? Like that but your stomach and you were cramping all day.
Irritating as h.e.l.l.
Roland had been put into very troubling situations when teleportation was involved so he made a few tricks to stop them from happening around him. But he had to be on guard and wary of his surrounding, which he usually was, for those tricks to work. Loki, one of Roland"s good friends, didn"t cause him to be on alert….which was why he didn"t see this coming. It really annoyed him. Though to be fair Loki is, after all, a G.o.d of mischief. Maybe it would be best to remember this in the future.
Anyway Loki brought him to a large office-like s.p.a.ce with an impressive dark wooden desk set in front of a very sizeable window. It overlooked a wide training field. Quite some ways past that was a pond beside where a group of people could be seen lounging around.
Students?
To the far distance was a series of mountains. There was a forest surrounding the area and Roland felt a few large presences within.
Aside from the desk was a low table with gla.s.s bottles containing amber liquid. He also noticed a fridge in the corner of the room, looking entirely out of place.
Loki walked straight to it and took out a carton of donut holes.
Roland refused an offering then watched as the man proceeded to stuff his face.
The G.o.d coughed when food got stuck in his throat and reached for a bottle of wine nearby to down the pastry. Donut holes and wine, not a combo Roland felt particularly appetizing.
He recalled Loki"s love for alcohol. He wasn"t a heavy drinker like most G.o.ds but he was very good at finding the best bottles.
Roland remembered a story about Dionysus once raising a fuss after Loki stole from his treasured vault—which is quite a feat. Unlike other G.o.ds, Dionysus actually kept a near impregnable storage facility in which he stored all of his best drinks. Wine, mead, whiskey, scotch. You name it, it"s there. Many before have tried and failed to even find its location, much less break into It—at some point in time.
He forgot what Dionysus did in retaliation but he quickly stopped after finding his precious vault half empty.
Roland let out a faint chuckle at the memory and found Loki sitting on a couch, the carton long gone. Did he eat them all already? d.a.m.n glutton, this guy.
"So, this is your "Academy"? Looks normal." He hadn"t seen the outside but after a quick scan with some detection magic it seemed pretty...mundane. Loki didn"t do mundane.
Where were the krakens? The gambling dens? The skimpily-clad hostesses? He had to have at least one of those things hiding somewhere.
"If by normal you mean a nest of hormonal monsters ready to tear people to pieces for the slightest of offenses, then yeah completely normal."
Now that sounded more like a Loki-run establishment.
"And yeah, I like it here. Has everything I need. A good stock of delicious food, some fine beverages, a nice view. And beautiful flowers everywhere you look." Roland doubted he was taking about the plant life. "Though I don"t come here often. Which, I suppose, will change with you in town."
G.o.ds got annoyingly attached to their friends. Even to their enemies. Like that one girl you dated in college who texted you every day nonstop and had to constantly hold your arm whenever you went out.
Not that Roland would know much about that scenario in particular, having never gone to college as far as he was aware.
He supposed having eternal life became boring, and meeting people you were close to helped with that. Especially when you were a battle-loving maniac with a possible taste for sado-masochism and had very few people who were capable of matching your level of insanity.
And Roland meant that quite literally. Don"t be fool by his playfulness. Loki is indeed, for all intents and purposes, insane.
It came with the territory when you where one of those very rare beings who were born with multiple egos that eventually split off and did their own thing.
Loki was basically a third of a person, maybe less, and kept loosing screws the longer he lived.
And he might"ve been the tamer one in the little group Roland had become a part of.
Least he wasn"t as morally ambiguous as Sol or as unpredictable as Mephisto.
" Let"s wait here for a bit. I have someone coming to meet us soon...She"ll be awhile." He gestured for Roland to take a seat opposite his own.
"Here, try this." Roland was handed a gla.s.s. "It"s something that I st—uh, acquired, from one of my father"s private collections. Personally brewed by Aegir himself and aged a thousand years, just right." He made a big grin before drinking the small bottle"s contents all in one go. Roland did the same.
It had a hard to describe earthly taste, spicy yet not, that burned pleasantly on the way down. A dull warmness spread through him. Whether it be wine, whiskey, or any other type of drink, when it"s made by G.o.ds you don"t taste it so much as feel it.
Rather it"s just that the taste is secondary.
Like with music or painting, they made an art out of it. Made you feel a sense of satisfaction no other kind of drink could let you experience.
It was quite trippy.
And not a taste that was easily acquired.
For a while the two simply relaxed and talked about this or that. Then a thought came, causing Roland to frown.
" Loki, what did you do to the others?"
Roland realized he was not a good caretaker.
Catching up with Loki after so long and enjoying a fine drink to boot made Roland nearly forget about them. He was becoming more and more forgetful lately.
"Hm? Oh. I teleported them to a different location. Don"t worry, they"re resting in the nurse"s office. Won"t wake up for at least another hour after the spell I placed on them. But you"re gonna clean up after the other four." He indicated the corpses thrown haphazardly on the floor.
"Mfuu!" Fred, having been placed on the table, shouted nonstop when he saw the treatment of their bodies..
Roland felt it more the fear of being treated the same way rather than being some sense of camaraderie
"Are you seriously going to be carrying that around from now on?" Loki frowned.
"I dunno." Roland shrugged. "He"s growing on me. I sort of like the idea, you know? He"s like a pet I don"t even have to feed and he"s fun to throw around. I"m even thinking of decorating him. How do you think about coating him in gold? Or silver?"
Now he was just being cruel. The man"s m.u.f.fled screams grew a few octaves and Roland"s dark sense of humor loved every bit of it.
What was really messed up was that they all knew even if they did encase the guy"s head in some sort of molten metal, he"d still live.
He was already just a head. Logically he shouldn"t be capable of screaming after having been seperated from his body. He hadn"t any lungs, or a heart. He shouldn"t be able to breathe, for that matter.
But he could. So really all encasing him in gold meant was that he"d suffocate over and over again.
"You never did tell me how you came across that thing."
He meant the white bone blade.
Roland took it out and examined it, as he always did when idle. More a dagger than anything else. Looked like metal, but wasn"t. Not fully. Simple, with no embellishment whatsoever. A single edge sharper than obsidian.
The handle wasn"t anything special either, just a bit of cloth really. You couldn"t unwrap it no matter how you tried and the thing extended for however long you wanted it to. Even if you somehow managed to damage the cloth it"d still regenerate itself in seconds.
Roland got scared every time he looked at it. Or not scared so much as disturbed. And for good reason.
"Swiped it from Lucifer the last time we were in h.e.l.l."
"If good "ol Lucy had something like that, I"d know."
And he probably would. This little klepto knew where everyone in the Higher Planes kept their best treasures. Most of the people who had quality goods, anyway. The top-notch stuff.
Roland wouldn"t be surprised if he knew where the h.e.l.lions kept theirs too.
"You must"ve overlooked it."
"Doubtful."
"Alright, fine. I found it at the bottom of a cereal box. Happy?"
"Let me see it."
"Let me f.u.c.k your sister."
"That can be arranged."
"Too late, changed my mind."
"Now Ro." Loki began. " You know I"ll just be borrowing it later when you"re asleep. Save yourself the trouble, eh? Give it here."
"Remember what I said about your ex?"
That made him pause. He sighed. "So petty. Tsk. Fine, be that way."
"Your woman"s running late. You want to take a look at the corpses while we"re waiting?"
"Why not?" Loki snapped his fingers and the corpses jerked. They were pulled upwards like marionettes on a string and walked until they stood before him.
"They got some weird energy signatures." Loki noted. "What"d you do?"
"Nothing. By the time I found them they were already dead." Roland was proficient in magic of all kinds but he was master of few.
His knowledge compared to Loki and Sol, who stood at the apex of mystical arts, was skin deep.
Roland was on par with them when it came to versatility and mana capacity. He even outcla.s.sed them when it came to energy manipulation in general, but that was it.
Considering he was a jack-of-trades kind of character it was already amazing he could match them in anything magic-related.
As an example if spells were leaves then Roland would know what branch of magic a certain spell hailed from. But Loki could tell you the origin of that branch, the fundamental laws of the universe they effected, and how they reacted with spells of other branches.
Roland would maybe be able to tell you one or two of those things, but not all.
"Huh." Loki rubbed his chin. His eyes glowed green and a magic circles appear within his irises, spinning nonstop. "You said they were already dead?"
"Yeah."
"Looks like their souls were ejected from their bodies then."
"That can happen? I thought you couldn"t exorcise a person"s soul from their bodies?"
If a evil spirit possessed you, you exorcised it. You can do this because the spirit is a foreign ent.i.ty. The process may differ from one type of spirit or ent.i.ty to another, and it may be more difficult depending on it"s level of power, but it was always possible.
But you couldn"t do the same with a soul in it"s rightful body. The soul belongs in the body, you can"t drive it out because it wouldn"t be recognized as a foreign ent.i.ty.
If someone died and the soul left the body, then if you were quick enough and the damage to the body was minimal you could then enter the body, repair the damage and be the new owner.
You"d take over the lease is basically what happens.
That...clearly isn"t what happened with these guys.
Loki confirmed Roland"s doubt. "You can"t. This isn"t an exorcism."
"What, then?"
"Precision, my dear. Not sure how they did it but the threads connecting their souls to their bodies have been carefully severed by am outside force." He grimaced.
Not like Roland then. Roland"s method was all about force. This was much cleaner. And Roland only cut off parts of the soul that made you, you. He didn"t cut out the whole thing. The person could do away with their bodies themselves if they had the skill or the body was thoroughly destroyed--again, Immortals and above could possibly regenerate the bodies anyway. But an outside force achieving a similar effect wasn"t something Roland had heard of.
"I can"t even do that. Maybe Sol could, but only maybe. It"s not our domain. Even if it were, something like that would still be insanely difficult. Must"ve been painful for the poor blokes."
"Any way to access their memories?"
"There is but they"ve been dead a while. What information you"d get would be totally random, and patchy. Okay, maybe not random. But what are the odds that the last thing they though of before death was what you wanted to know? And again, it wouldn"t be clear."
Too bad.
"I guess I wasn"t really interested that much in them anyway."
"You aren"t, but I am. I want to know if I can see how their souls were detached by studying them closer. Mind If I keep them?"
"Go ahead. But keep your extracurricular activities to yourself."
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." Loki got busy spelling the bodies so they didn"t decay further. He then put them in a closet for later examination.
Just as he finished Roland felt another person"s gaze behind him. Sure enough, when he turned to the door a young woman in her early twenties was staring at him with a strange look. She was, by all accounts, a very beautiful woman.
She wore a midnight blue blouse and a black skirt, long auburn hair flowing in lush waves down towards a shapely back. The locks looked so soft that it made a person want to reach out and run their hands through it.
The lady seemed out of sorts.
He didn"t blame her. People, and women especially, tended to act that way around him.
Loki was in his 13-year-old form too so any woman who wasn"t a shotacon would obviously place their eyes on Roland first.
"Loki, this is . . .?"
"Hmm? Oh, she"s here?" He only just noticed the newcomer. " In that case meet Abigail Sommers, my...a.s.sistant? No, that"s not quite right. Uh, secretary? Hmm, still doesn"t sound right...Huh. I guess I never really gave her an official position. Anyway, she"s the one keeping this place together." He finished.
"See? I knew you were slaving someone around."
"And lucky for you I am or your left nut would be a goner."
"I"m grateful, really." Roland drawled. " Anyway if she runs this place, what does that make you? A mascot? Did I hit the nail on the head for that too?"
Ignoring the question completely, he continued the introductions.
"Ms. Sommers, this is Roland. By the way don"t get too close with him or he"ll leave you a single mother."
"f.u.c.k you."
"See? Such a pervert. Even I"m not free from his dastardly claws! Not that I don"t understand his attraction. I mean come on, look at me" It was one of the most narcissistic tones Roland had ever heard anyone use.
"Ignore him." Roland stood and went to offer a handshake. "Don"t listen to whatever lies this guy might say. I"m a perfect gentleman."
Abigail quirked a brow. "Sorry, but I don"t think gentlemen have foursomes with loose pixies, angels and..." She sniffed. "Ugh. Nightmares."
...How the flying fudge did she...?
But he kept his cool. "The fun ones do." He smiled.
And he wouldn"t really have called the pixie "loose". She was actually quite nice. The Nightmare might"ve been loose. Though then again so was Roland when it came to s.e.x so he shouldn"t be talking.
As for the angel thing, she was close enough. Valkyries were the inspiration for angels.
"That so? We must have different definitions of fun."
Roland wasn"t daunted by her att.i.tude at all.
He replied the second their hands clasped. "I"ll have to change that soon then."
Her pupils dilated ever-so-slightly. It was a tell-tale sign she was wondering what methods he"d use to accomplish said task and found the possibilities enticing.
Naughty girl, having such an overactive imagination. Roland liked her already
Loki throw a bucket of cold water on them.
"I wouldn"t if I were you. She"s Ares" woman."
Ah. Well. Yeah. That killed it.
"Say no more."
Roland returned to his seat without a care.
Abigail made a face like she was offended he gave up so easily. A menacing glare was directed Loki"s way. Obviously the remark had infuriated her.
"For the last time, I"m not that man"s--!"
"I know, I know. d.a.m.n. I heard you the last thousand times. Jesus Christ."
"Don"t bring him into this, you know he hates it when you swear on his name."
"Please, as if I give a d.a.m.n what that fop hates. He can go suck on Thor"s big hairy nipples for all I care."
Abigail rubbed the bridge of her nose. Through a show of great will she gradually appeared to calm herself. Roland gave her extra points for that.
Most people could only handle so much of Loki"s abrasiveness before fainting in anger.
In fact Roland half-believed that"s how he got away with a lot of the things he did. That and the teleportation, a rare skill. But probably the first thing more.
Roland, despite having already sat back down, still secretly observed the woman.
From Loki"s words she had the attention of Ares. And that was understandable but Roland"s intuition told him there was something more to it that the war G.o.d trying to woo her.
Roland thought it was tooting his own horn a bit just thinking so, but honestly they were all handsome, powerful men.
Whether it be Loki"s mischievous smirk, Mephisto"s Fae-like beauty, Sol"s suave charisma, Ares" raw masculinity or Roland"s azure-eyed magneticsm...no matter which one you picked out of the lot they"d be sure to make women go weak-kneed. More often than not they had their pick of whichever female happened to pique their interest at the time.
The last thing they lacked was women so normally if one remained aloof they"d just move on to another.
They treated s.e.x casually, as an enjoyable sport. Which sounded bad, but it wasn"t. The women they went after were the ones who only wanted a night or two of pleasure, same as them.
They made sure each person involved knew what the other wanted, it was never a lasting relationship. At most you"d end up each other"s stress relief. t.i.tles like boyfriend or girlfriend, mistress or lover, were all done away with.
Clearly Abigail did not have much love lost for Ares. She was one of those hard to get type of women, the ones Ares would"ve usually pa.s.sed over.
So why did it sound like it was different? Not only was she "Ares" woman" but she was also Loki"s...lets just say caretaker.
Were she just another girl Ares wanted to bed that"d be the end of it. However it almost seemed like Loki implied Ares is actively pursuing her if nothing else, otherwise she never would"ve been called his woman.
Actually those words in themselves were odd too. Whenever one of them bedded a girl, even if it lasted a few days, none of the others would call her "Loki"s woman" or "Roland"s Woman."
It"s as if there was something possessive in it, something indicating a closer and more ambiguous relationship.
....Had Ares been whipped? He wasn"t the type to really "chase" women. That is, normally...so....
Heh. That b.a.s.t.a.r.d, leaving us bachelor dogs behind like this.
Though to be honest Roland wasn"t jealous at all.
He"d long since accepted that he could never really have a healthy relationship with a good woman. He felt it"d even be cruel to try.
"Can we please get to the reason I had to come running here at this unG.o.dly hour? And what the h.e.l.l is that severed head?"
Fred"s eyes alighted with hope.
"Hey, don"t talk to him like that." Roland frowned. "He has a name you know. It"s Fred. My pet. Cute, isn"t he?" Roland patted Fred affectionately.
"Not the word I"d use." For some reason Abigail seemed slightly disturbed. Roland couldn"t imagine why.
"Roland"s gonna f.u.c.k it"s mom." Loki added helpfully.
Abigail stared at Roland, then at Fred, and then back at Loki. "I"m going to pretend I didn"t hear that. Just keep it away from me."
The light died.
"Pretend all you want.That which was heard can never be unheard. Also what do you mean, unG.o.dly hour? It"s almost 4 in the afternoon. "
"Exactly!" The woman barked. "Since a certain someone can"t take responsibility for his own obligations if his life depended on it, my time these days is limited. That includes sleep. Which I am sorely lacking. I only get by on small naps throughout the day, one of which you"re interrupting!"
"Right." Loki didn"t appear sorry at all. "Let"s discuss it then. Roland here, see, is going to be replacing me as our resident combat instructor starting from today onwards. I"d like you to show him around."
Abigail groaned. "Really? Me? Can"t someone else do it?"
"Do it and I give you the next two days off."
"Bulls.h.i.t. Who"ll pick up the work?"
"Do you actually care or are you just asking to keep up appearances?"
"Appearances." Not a single nanosecond of hesitation. "Deal. Pleasure doing business with you."
She made a "come hither" gesture with her hand. "Roland, was it? Follow me, let"s get this done."
No need to ask twice.
As they left Abigail made a comment.
"You know your name sounds really familiar for some reason."
Roland"s dark past was dangerously close to being discovered.