Cole chuckled. "You should have seen Sean running me around from store to store. I"m sure he thought I was in such bad shape I couldn"t make a purchase by myself."
"By the way." She sat up and looked at him. "I think everyone was pretty slick the way they worked it all out yesterday. I mean, Jake just showing up to get Molly and take her to the ranch overnight. Lindsey with her gift basket."
"Sean insisted on taking me shopping so I"d be properly dressed." He grinned at her. "Not that either of us kept our clothes on very long."
"They were all determined to make this happen." She wrapped her arms around his chest.
"I think we"re lucky to have the friends and family we do."
"I guess we should call them and tell them you haven"t thrown me back out on the street."
"In a minute." She leaned on one elbow and gently traced the line of his jaw. "I love you more than I ever thought it possible to love someone. You make my heart full just being with you. I want you to keep that in mind because we still have something important to resolve. I want to talk about it right now before we start our day."
He grinned, a playful look in his eyes. "Are you going to tell me you have me at your mercy, stark naked, so I can"t say no?"
"If I need to." She studied his face, looking for some signs that he"d actually hear what she had to say. Was this new beginning too fragile for her to bring it up now? She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It was now or never, she thought. And maybe discussing it naked would make it a lot easier. "Cole, this is serious. It"s really a big deal to me. We didn"t resolve anything last night." She stopped and took a deep breath. Please let me say the right words. "It"s about Molly."
She felt his body tense and saw the protective mask drop into place. He started to roll away from her, but she stopped him, leaning over and raining gentle kisses on his face.
"Don"t do that," she pleaded. "Don"t close up on me this way. Listen to me. Please. We have to come to some resolution-at least a compromise-or how can we ever build a life together?"
He was silent for so long that she wasn"t sure he would ever answer her. Finally, in a flat voice, he said, "All right. I"m listening.
She kept her hand on his cheek, connecting with him while she talked. "I understand what you feel when you look at her, but what happened isn"t her fault. You"re the only father she"s got. Can you understand that? She"s getting to the point where she"ll start wondering why you treat her as if she"s got the plague. Molly didn"t do this to you."
"Tara, I..."
She touched her fingers to his lips and shook her head. "No. Last night, you asked me to be quiet and listen to you. Now, I"m asking you to do the same. Molly is a wonderful little child, a treasure. We said today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Can"t we find a way to make her part of it, too? It"s so important to me."
"You"re asking a lot of me," he told her, his voice tight. "I look at her, and I see Maggie"s face and hear her voice. I hear those bitter words. I"ve tried so many times to make it right again, and it just hasn"t worked."
Again she searched for the right words. "There"s something I probably should have told you before, but the terms of our abargain" made it irrelevant." She bit her lip. "I was sure it wouldn"t matter so I just kept it to myself."
"What is it, Tara?" Suddenly, he was the voice of concern, shifting so he could reach out his hand and touch her. "What didn"t you think you needed to tell me? Are you sick? Is it something we can take care of?"
She shook her head then dropped her gaze. "Not sick. No." Her sigh was heavy enough to split the thick silence. "After my miscarriage, when Mike was killed, the doctors told me I"d probably never conceive another child." She raised her eyes to look at him again. "Molly may be the only one we"ll ever share. That"s why this is so important to me. I want us to be a family, and we can"t if you still shut yourself away from her."
He pulled her into his arms, holding her against his body. "I am so sorry. No wonder you think I"m such a heartless a.s.s. I would do anything in the world to make you happy, sweetheart, but here you may be asking the impossible."
Tara snuggled against him, taking strength from his warmth. "Will you try something for me?"
Although he kept his arms wrapped around her, his body stiffened. "What is it you want, Tara?"
"In a little while, we"re going to the ranch to pick up Molly. I want it to be okay that she"ll be with us. Can you at least give me that?" She paused. "You know she"s growing all the time.
Pretty soon, I won"t be able to hide her away every minute you"re home. And I don"t want you to stay away because of it."
Again, he was silent for so long she began to get nervous. Would it all come unraveled now? Was she asking him to take an impossible leap? No. It was past time for that excuse.
Finally, reaching out his fingers to wipe away the tears she hadn"t even realized were trickling down her cheeks, he said in a ragged voice, "All right. For you. I will do the best I can."
He pulled her close again, nestling her head against his shoulder. "I want to please you, but you have to know this is killing me."
"I know. I really do." A tiny thread of hope surged through her.
"I held that child every day for two weeks when she was born," he told her, his eyes now staring at a point beyond her. "I rocked her in my arms and felt her tiny heart beating against mine. She was my child, my flesh. Then, in seconds, I found out what a cruel joke it all was." His face twisted in pain, remembering.
"You need to find a way to free yourself from this hate, or it will destroy you," she said softly. "And I don"t intend to let that happen."
"I promise I"ll try, and that"s all I can offer. Is that good enough?"
"That"s all I ask." She gave him a quick kiss. "I love you, and I"ll do whatever I can to make it easier for you. This is a new beginning for all of us. Including Molly."
"All right." He hugged her then grinned. "You may have to give me regular treatments to keep me in line, though." He slapped his forehead. "I forgot the rest of the stuff."
"What are you talking about?"
"Come with me, and I"ll show you." He tugged her along behind him to the kitchen where he"d left his packages the night before. "I think these were bribes, in case nothing else worked."
He pulled each box from the shopping bag, watching as she opened each box. The first one held a nightgown, frilly and sheer and made for seduction. The next box contained a soft cashmere sweater with a draped collar and neckline that dipped to a vee, in a golden color that caught the highlights in her hair. She gasped in pleasure and held it against her body, relishing its luxurious feel. It was so different from her other sweaters, all chosen strictly for their utilitarian design and serviceability.
When Cole took out the last package, he stopped to give her a kiss filled with both desire and promise. Then he handed it to her. "This is my heart," he said solemnly. "I give it to you willingly with all my love."
Tara gasped when she opened the jeweler"s box. Inside were tiny gold earrings in the shape of hearts, outlined in pearls and diamonds. She had tears in her eyes when she lifted them out. "I will always keep your heart safe," she said, her voice husky, and stood on tiptoe to kiss him.
"And now I"m going to shower," he said. "Why don"t you take that bath you want. Then we"ll call the ranch."
"All right."
The soothing bath did much for her sore and aching body. She leaned back and let the scented foaming water drift over her as images of the night just past kept floating at the edge of her consciousness. Her body began to tingle just from the memories, and she lay there for a long while with a smile on her face.
Dried and sprayed with her favorite perfume, she dressed in her new sweater and a pair of tight, chocolate, suede jeans she"d bought in a moment of frivolous impulse. They clung to her hips and accentuated her legs. The outfit was so different from her usual dull, functional wardrobe. She smiled as she put on the heart earrings and brushed her hair out until it fell in thick, shimmering waves.
In the mirror, she saw an unfamiliar image, a woman full of life and exhilaration. Her eyes sparkled, and she glowed with pa.s.sion and joy.
"You"re so beautiful you take my breath away."
She looked up. Cole stood in the doorway, clad in chinos and a bright blue sweater that stretched over his powerful muscles and accentuated his dark hair and features. She saw such emotion in his eyes that her heart turned over. She went to him and wrapped her arms around him. "You make me beautiful," she said.
"You should dress this way all the time," he told her. "Except other women would most likely object. They"d pale into insignificance."
She laughed, not used to that kind of compliment. "Let"s go make our calls," she said. "The ranch first, I guess."
Lindsey picked up on the first ring.
"Were you sitting on top of the phone?" Tara asked with amus.e.m.e.nt.
"I"ve been ordering myself to wait until you called and fast losing the battle. Is everything okay? We"re dying out here."
"Everything"s fine." She laughed. "More than fine. The gifts were great, but the best gift of all was the maneuvering you all did to get us together."
"Oh, Tara, I"m so glad. We wanted this for both of you. You two are made for each other."
"We"re going to stop for breakfast before we pick up Molly, if that"s okay."
"Come out whenever you want. Why don"t you plan on staying for the afternoon? We"re just watching the football games, and I"m going to fix some sandwiches later on."
"That sounds great."
"Oh and tell Cole that Sean"s out here. We"ll pa.s.s along the good news. He"s been about ready to drive back into town and bang on your door."
"You can all see for yourselves in a couple of hours," Tara laughed.
Chapter Thirteen.
The day was one of Texas" glorious winter gifts, the sun blazing yellow, the sky a heavenly blue. To Tara and Cole everything seemed newly washed, the way their lives had suddenly become. The air had a fresh scent to it, and even the birds seemed to be singing just for them.
When they pulled up at the ranch, Tara got out of the car and Cole came around to her side, pulling her body to his. He leaned down and kissed her with such thoroughness her knees were weak. He had held back for so long. Now the dam had broken, and he couldn"t keep his hands away from her.
"Careful," she told him, "or we night find ourselves naked in the dirt right here."
He chuckled. "At least, it will give those idiots peering out the window something to look at."
As Tara turned, the door to the house opened and Lindsey came out, followed by Jake and Sean. They smiled at the couple in front of them.
"No use to ask how things are," Jake joked. "All we have to do is look."
Lindsey hugged Tara. "You look absolutely amazing. As if you"re a whole new person."
"I feel like it," Tara said, laughing.
"But the change in Cole is unbelievable. For the first time in what seems like forever, he"s relaxed and at ease. He"s actually smiling." She leaned closer and whispered to Tara, "I guess last night really did the trick."
Tara felt heat creep up her cheeks, but she answered, "I never kiss and tell."
"I"m so glad you took pity on him," Sean told her. "Another day and I"d have killed him for sure."
She laughed and hugged him. "You do good work."
Cole shook hands with both men. n.o.body said anything, but the emotion that pa.s.sed among them all was almost tangible.
"The kids are upstairs napping," Lindsey announced, "so we can have a few hours of peace.
Jake"s got the fire going, and Luisa made something that I don"t know the name of, some little rolls that I can"t stop eating." She linked her arm through Tara"s and led her inside. "We"re so happy for you," she said quietly. "Both of you. You deserve happiness."
The afternoon was tranquil. That was the only word for it. They watched football games, Tara and Cole next to each other on the couch so close not even a sheet of paper would fit between them. He held her hand most of the time, the rough texture of the warm skin feeling good against her palm. Even when they ate, he found excuses to touch her in some small way.
When it was time to leave, Tara got Molly ready, but she noticed that Cole, without prodding, put the baby seat in their car and took Molly"s things from Luisa. It was the first time she remembered seeing him touch any of her belongings.
The little girl dozed on the ride home and barely woke when Tara took her in the house.
When Tara came into her room after settling Molly in her crib, Cole was stretched out on her bed, stark naked, hands behind his head and a lazy grin on his face.
"Tomorrow, I"m moving my things in here," he announced.
They"d both agreed his bedroom held too many bad memories for them to share it.
Maggie"s aura was everywhere. Any time Cole spent in there was painful.
"We should think about redecorating the room," Tara told him, dragging her eyes away from his swollen, waiting c.o.c.k. "Something that would personalize it and make it truly ours. New colors, new furniture." She tilted her head. "Does that appeal to you?"
The look in his eyes told her he was only interested in one thing. "Sounds interesting.
We"ll talk about it in the morning. Tonight, you"ll have to be satisfied with just me." He reached out a hand to her. "Come to me, Tara."
She drew her sweater over her head, tossing it to the side, then shimmied out of her jeans.
After the previous night, she found herself surprisingly unselfconscious undressing in front of him.
"You take my breath away," he told her as she joined him on the bed.
He gently teased her nipples, and they hardened under his touch. Her skin heated as he traced a line down to her navel, to the warm flesh of her stomach and below that. All her nerve endings woke, sending messages directly to her c.u.n.t. When he palmed her opening and slid one finger inside her, she pushed against him.
"Already wet." Desire thickened his voice. "My G.o.d, we might kill each other at this rate."
"See what you do to me?" she whispered, her hands moved over the taut flesh of his back.
The curling hair of his chest rubbed against her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, making them feel tight and heavy.
"Same goes," he whispered.
She let him take her hand and place it on his erection. By now, he was fully engorged, and she relished the feel of it, stroking the silky skin and gently rubbing the tip.
"G.o.d, Tara," he groaned. "I can"t wait tonight."
"Don"t wait," she urged. "Do it now."
Spreading her legs wide, he thrust into her in one powerful motion. She gasped then forced herself to relax to take the thick, full length of him. The time for slow foreplay was past.
He began thrusting at once, moving hard and fast. They climaxed together, quickly, but so mightily, it exhausted them both. He collapsed on top of her, the scent of s.e.x surrounding them.
"I hope we get ourselves under some kind of control soon," he muttered, "or we"re going to die from happiness."