"I"ll be all right," Tara told him. "Please go be with Molly."
The lab tech had moved to the bed to stand next to Tara.
"We"re going to take a little blood from you, too, Mrs. Ca.s.sidy. I need to run some tests before we try to prescribe anything for you. And the nurse will come and take your vitals. We"ll be as quick as we can. I know you"re in rough shape. Can you handle it until then?"
Tara moved her head in a weak nod. "It will be all right. Just go. Molly needs all of you more than I do right now."
Cole kissed her forehead then turned and followed the doctor.
After everyone had left the area, she dozed, rousing only when the nurse came to check her blood pressure and other vital signs. She was vaguely aware of the activity around her beyond the curtains, but as long as she lay perfectly still, she was all right. She wondered when someone would come to tell her more about Molly. An icy knot of fear curled in her stomach as dozens of unpleasant possibilities flashed through her brain.
When she opened her eyes again, Cole was beside her bed, holding her cold hand in one of his large warm ones, rea.s.suring her with his presence. But who was comforting him? she wondered. The harsh lines of strain cut deeply into his face, and tension vibrated through his body.
"They"re just waiting for the lab results," he told her. " Meanwhile, the medication"s put her to sleep."
Before Tara could comment, they heard footsteps enter the room.
"Oh, good, you"re both here." Dr. Morehead moved the curtain aside and entered the treatment area. "Mr. Ca.s.sidy, I"m somewhat puzzled here. You say Molly is adopted?"
"Not...exactly." Cole"s face flushed a dark red. He didn"t want to tell this doctor about Maggie and her lies. "Why do you ask?"
"First of all, your blood type is a match. You"re both A Positive, and while that"s not a particularly rare blood type, it is a little uncommon. Secondly, with a child this young, we try to match the blood as much as possible so we do something called the HLA test. We routinely use it for tissue compatibility, as well. It determines certain proteins found in the outer coating of nearly every cell in the body. Everyone has a small, relatively unique set inherited from their parents."
"So what are you saying?"
"I"m saying that while it doesn"t prove paternity, it can disprove it. If father and child do not have one antigen pair identical to each other, it rules out paternity." Dr. Moreland paused for the s.p.a.ce of a heartbeat. "This test shows you and the little girl have matching pairs, which means you definitely could be Molly"s father. I don"t mean to pry into your business, but..."
Cole"s face was frozen in shock. He had to force himself to speak. "But I had a DNA test done that proved the opposite."
"Where did you have this done, if I might ask?"
Cole named the lab, and Dr. Moreland shook his head. "I"m sorry to say, that lab is under major scrutiny right now. They hired unqualified lab technicians and many of their test results were incorrect."
Tara thought Cole was going to have a heart attack. The blood drained from his face, and he staggered, falling into the chair next to the bed.
"We can do another test if it would rea.s.sure you," the doctor went on, "but right now we need you to give blood so we can get your daughter into surgery."
Dazed, Cole let himself be led away.
Chapter Sixteen.
Tara roused a little when the nurse came to check on her again and let her know the doctor would be back very soon. They would give her something for the nausea as soon as her test results were back, if she could just hold on.
The next time, she awoke she felt a warm hand touching her. Opening her eyes, she saw Cole sitting upright in a chair beside her, his eyes glazed, his breathing slightly erratic. Shock, she decided. But a good shock, after all.
"You are not allowed to say I told you so," he said, when he noticed she was awake.
"I told you so." She tried for a faint grin. "You can"t hit me when I"m sick."
He bowed his head, rubbing his temples with the tips of his fingers. "I can"t believe this.
All these months, I"ve been so miserable to her, shutting her out, withholding love. What a b.a.s.t.a.r.d I am. I don"t deserve her. Or you. Either of you."
"Stop that." Tara summoned what strength she had. "You had no way of knowing the test was flawed. You could only go on the information that was given to you."
"You don"t know how terrified I"ve been, watching them take care of her." He wiped his hand over his face as if brushing cobwebs away. "I looked at her lying there, so panicked at the sight of her still, little form and realized, in the end, it didn"t matter what any of these tests show.
You"ve been right all along. Biology has little to do with it."
Tara blinked her eyes against the tears crowding her lids. "You"ve always loved her. I sensed it, but you were just in too much pain to show it."
"Selfish pain, Tara." He gently squeezed her hand, holding it as afraid to break the contact.
"I took out my own damaged ego on a child who was the innocent bystander in this little melodrama. She"s my daughter-our daughter-and just the way it happened with you, it took a near disaster to show me what a d.a.m.n fool I"ve been." He leaned back in the chair, eyes closed, lines of anguish scoring his face. "G.o.d, what if something goes wrong, and I never get to tell her how much I love her?"
"She"ll be fine," Tara rea.s.sured him. "You heard the doctor. You got her here in plenty of time; she"s got a full medical team taking care of her. Please stop beating yourself up. Children survive worse things."
"I love her, Tara." His eyes were bright with unshed tears, and the hand holding hers shook. "I love both of you. I"m going to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much."
"Loving us is all we ever asked of you, you know." Her voice was soft, and she squeezed the hand holding hers with what strength she had.
"What agony that woman put us all through."
Even in her weakened condition, Tara found the strength to silently curse Maggie. "She wanted to strike back at you, hurt you the only way she knew how. She saw how much you loved Molly and knew that was where she could strike at you to cause the most pain."
"How can I ever make it up to Molly?" He visibly fought the tears now, his throat muscle working reflexively.
"Children know things, Cole. They sense things. It will be fine. I promise you."
Tara wanted to say something else, but she couldn"t make herself think straight any more.
The nausea was coming in waves, swamping her and receding. She wished someone would come back with her test results so they could give her something to keep it at bay.
Cole, fidgeting in the chair, glanced through the curtain toward the door. "Can I leave you for a minute, sweetheart? Are you okay here? I"m sorry. I just have to know how she"s doing."
"She"s doing fine." Dr. Moreland came through the curtain before Cole could move. "She"s out of surgery and doing very nicely." He made some notes on one of the charts he held. "She had no adverse reaction to the anesthetic, but she"s got quite a lot of st.i.tches in that arm. I"d prefer to keep her for a couple of nights, just to monitor her and give her some IV antibiotics."
"Of course," Cole said, standing up. "Whatever"s best. Can we see her?"
"As soon as they get her set up. Right now, she"s in pediatric recovery, and I need to discuss with you where we"re going to put her."
"I don"t understand." Cole was instantly alert, ready to take command. "Is there some problem?"
"No. There are just a few other things we need to address." He made one last note on the second chart then flipped it closed.
"What things? And what about my wife? What have you found out about her? Can"t you do something for her?" His voice rose as the worry he"d been battling surged to the forefront.
"She"s had this virus or whatever you want to call it for five days now and doesn"t seem to be getting much better."
The doctor nodded and opened the chart again. "Mrs. Ca.s.sidy, have you ever been told you have a major hormonal imbalance?"
"Yes, I know about that. I had a miscarriage several years ago, and my hormones haven"t been right since then. I used to take a low dose of birth control to try and straighten it out, but the pills made me sick. Why?"
"I"m sure that"s the reason you"re having such severe nausea. You don"t have the flu, my dear. You"re pregnant."
Tara and Cole stared at him as if he"d grown an extra head.
"Pregnant?" Tara managed to croak. She had a sudden urge to laugh hysterically.
"Yes, your lab tests confirm it. About two months, I"d say. I always run the test before we medicate, just in case. Don"t want any problems, you know. But the hormone imbalance has exacerbated what we usually call morning sickness and also made you drowsier than normal. So."
He closed the chart and smiled at them. "I"m a.s.suming this is good news."
Tara was the first to find her voice. "Yes, doctor, thank you." She clung to Cole"s hand with a fierce grip. "It"s very good news."
"You"ll need to see your own obstetrician as soon as possible. With your condition and history, you should be monitored carefully. Meanwhile I"m going to keep you for a couple of nights, too. You"re severely dehydrated from all the vomiting, and your blood pressure"s a little low. We discussed it and thought you might want your daughter set up in the room with you."
Cole swallowed several times before he finally managed to speak, although his voice was barely recognizable. "Yes, we"d appreciate that very much. Thank you."
"All right, then. The nurse will give you something for that nausea now, Mrs. Ca.s.sidy and set up an IV. Then they"ll come and get you as soon as the room is ready." He shook hands with Cole and left the room.
Cole lowered himself back into the chair beside the bed, still clutching Tara"s hand, still unbelieving. The tears he"d been trying to hold back were now rolling down his face and his throat was so tight he couldn"t say anything. The look on his face made Tara"s heart ache.
"A baby," he said. He was having trouble taking everything in. First the news about Molly.
Now this. "I don"t deserve all this good fortune." His voice was thick with emotion.
"I think everything was meant to happen the way it did." Tara managed to summon a smile. "We are truly blessed."
He raised his head, and they looked at each other, stunned by it all.
They were still trying to absorb it all when the nurse came in carrying a tray with several items on it.
"These shots should make you feel better real quick. And I"m going to start an IV drip, so we can get some fluids into your body. That will help a lot, too."
Cole moved out of the way until the nurse was finished then he was back at Tara"s side in an instant. He laid his hand over her lower abdomen.
"That night right before our anniversary." His voice was quiet, loving. "I knew there was something different when we made love. I swear that"s when it happened."
"I think so, too. My periods have never been regular since the miscarriage so I didn"t suspect anything unusual. I just thought this was the flu," Tara told him. "Everything happens for a purpose, you know. We can put the past behind us now once and for all. Life is good." She grinned weakly. "And I"m even starting to feel a little better."
"I love you so much, Tara."
He leaned over to kiss her, wanting to hold her but afraid of dislodging something.
"Mr. Ca.s.sidy?" The nurse was at the curtain again. "You"re daughter"s doing fine. It will be just a few minutes now, and we"ll get both her and your wife upstairs. There"s a young lady out here in great distress, though, who wants to see you. Is it all right to bring her back here?"
"It must be Nicki," Cole said. "Yes, please. Go and get her."
It was a tear-stained and shaken Nicki, who appeared, with her mother behind her.
"I told her everything would be all right, but she"s been a wreck," Mrs. Varner said.
Cole went to her and took her hands in his. "Nicki, if it"s anyone"s fault, it"s mine. I was right there and wasn"t paying attention."
Tara wished she could hug the unhappy, scared teenager. "Molly"s fine," she told her.
"Accidents happen. Please don"t keep blaming yourself. You take such good care of her. We trust you, honestly. And she"s doing fine. They"ve already finished st.i.tching her up. They"ll keep her a couple of nights as a precaution, but I promise you she"s okay."
Nicki burst into tears again. Cole looked at Tara helplessly then put his arm around Nicki and moved her over closer to his wife.
"You"d better pull yourself together because we"re really going to need you now," Tara smiled, reaching for Nicki"s hand. "We"re going to have a baby."
Nicki looked up through her tears. "Honest? A baby?"
"Yes and we need your help before it comes and afterwards. You"d better get in shape for this."
"She was so worried you wouldn"t want her to sit anymore," Mrs. Varner said. "I told her it"s all right. She should know about accidents. She and her brothers and sisters kept the emergency room in business when they were younger."
When the orderly came to get Tara, Cole sent Nicki and her mother home. He walked along beside his wife, still clutching her hand, as they rolled her toward the elevator.
In minutes, Tara was settled in the hospital room, her IV checked and her vitals taken once more. When the nurse had finished with her, they rolled in a hospital crib with Molly in it.
She looked so white and still both Tara and Cole panicked.
"She"s fine," the nurse a.s.sured them. "She woke up from the anesthetic with no problem.
She"s sleeping normally now. We"ll be checking on both of you throughout the night. Doctor wants regular reports. I"ll be back after a while."
Cole stood at the crib, motionless, his eyes fixed on Molly. She looked so small, so fragile.
Her dark curls were tousled around her pale face. Her left arm was bandaged from wrist to shoulder and an IV needle was taped to her right hand.
Why hadn"t he looked at her more closely before? Now he could see his own features stamped on her tiny face, only softer. He saw the same dark eyes and thick lashes, the same straight nose and high cheekbones. He"d been so blinded by anger and rage he"d seen nothing except his love for this child ripped from his heart by hateful words.
His eyes moved to Tara, drowsy from the medication, her eyes closing as she drifted off.
What an incredible woman she was. He"d hired her as if employing a servant, and she"d stepped in where others would have fled. She was a loving mother to the daughter he"d refused to acknowledge, and she"d given her heart to him willingly, despite how little of himself he"d given back to her. When he"d turned to her for love, she had accepted him without reservation.
He thought agonizingly of all the time that had been wasted, time when he and Tara could have had a real relationship. Time he could have spent as Molly"s father. He was more fortunate now than any man had a right to be. He would spend the rest of his life making it up to both of them and to the new little life that he and Tara had created.
He watched them until he was sure they were both sleeping then tiptoed from the room to find a place to use his cell phone. He needed to call Jake and Lindsey as well as Tara"s parents.