"I have to say, Tara, your father and I are completely stunned by this whole thing."
Irene McKee sipped at her hot tea, watching her daughter over the rim of her cup.
They"d decided against the mall for a number of reasons, first and foremost being there didn"t seem to be a stroller or carriage anywhere that she could use for Molly. In the end, they chose a huge baby store that had everything she needed. Dipping into the cash Cole had given her, and with her mother"s guidance, she"d purchased everything she needed, including some adorable new clothes and what looked as if it were a year"s supply of diapers.
Molly now sat in her carrier on a chair between Tara and Irene, batting at a tiny mobile Tara had fastened to the handle, while the two women treated themselves at an exquisite French bakery and coffee shop.
"Yes, I"m sure you are." No more than she was, Tara thought. "But sometimes things happen that just seem so right you can"t say no."
Irene sighed. "I just hope you know what you"re doing." She looked over at Molly. "And this child. She"s absolutely adorable, but what"s the story here? Cole"s wife has only been dead for a couple of months. Is he just looking for someone to raise his child?"
Tara concentrated on pulling a tiny piece from her croissant. She didn"t want to look directly at her mother, afraid her face would give too much away.
"Of course, he wants someone who"d be good for Molly," she finally answered. "But that"s not the primary reason. We"re good together, we know each other well. We fit."
She could feel her mother"s eyes on her.
"I haven"t heard you say yet that the two of you are in love with each other," Irene pointed out.
"Of course, we are." Tara concentrated harder on her pastry. "That goes without saying."
Irene sighed. "It"s your life, honey. I just don"t want you to make another mistake."
"I"m fine, Mom. Honestly." Now, she looked up then glanced at Molly and back at her mother. "And you get a grandchild without having to wait any longer."
At that moment, Molly gurgled, and the two women laughed.
"I guess, I"ll just have to trust you know what you"re doing." Irene squeezed Tara"s hand.
"In any event, your father and I would like to have dinner with the two of you. We hardly know Cole."
She means, except as someone I work for. If I were in her place, I"d have the same reservations.
"Why don"t you come to the house Sat.u.r.day night, and I"ll cook. That way you can see where I"m living too."
"Yes, where you"re living..."
Tara leaned across the table. "Please don"t judge me. I want to do this, and I need your support."
"Oh, honey." Irene sighed. "You know you"ve got it."
She was in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on dinner when she heard Cole come in through the utility room.
He stopped to survey the scene, much as he had done the night before. "I guess I wanted to make sure I wasn"t imagining things." He smiled. "Everything seems so...organized."
Tara flushed with pleasure at his words. "Having a routine is nice," she agreed. "But you still haven"t told me what you like to eat. I want to be sure to fix foods that appeal to you."
"I"ll eat just about anything that I can chew," he told her. "Please, just fix whatever you want to."
"Why don"t you go and change. Molly"s down for the evening, and dinner is just about ready."
"All right."
She breathed an inward sigh of relief when he reappeared in a polo shirt and jeans rather than the too-revealing sweat pants. She filled their gla.s.ses with iced tea and served their food from the stove. When everything was in place, she sat down opposite Cole. The tension between them was almost visible, certainly obvious in their posture. Was she wrong, or was it more than just the climate of the situation? Was that heat she saw in his eyes as they swept over her or just wishful thinking on her part?
Tara shook out her napkin and placed it in her lap, took a sip of iced tea and set down her gla.s.s. Might as well get this over with now.
"I saw my mother today," she began.
Cole"s features tightened. "How did that go?"
"Fine, fine." She sipped more tea. "She and my father have asked us to have dinner with them, if that"s all right with you."
He put his fork down. "Tara, they"re your parents. They know you"re getting married. It"s reasonable they would want to get to know me better."
A soft puff of breath whooshed from her in relief. One hurdle down. "I invited them here for dinner tomorrow night. Sat.u.r.day. If we eat at eight," she continued in a hurry, "Molly will be down for the evening. If they want to see her, I"ll take them up to the nursery. She won"t be part of the...festivities."
A muscle jumped in Cole"s jaw line. "Fine. If that"s what you think would be best."
She"d hoped for a little more enthusiasm, but at least, he hadn"t said no."Thank you." She picked up her fork then went on in a casual tone. "I was taking inventory for tomorrow night and noticed that your liquor cabinet is empty. Would you like me to restock it?"
"No." He bit off the word, his tone vicious. "No liquor in this house. Wine for dinner, but that"s it."
Tara was shocked. She wanted to ask him why, but at the look on his face, she kept her mouth shut. She was walking through a minefield here and would need to step very carefully.
Then she almost stepped on one more.
"I apologize for not straightening your room today. I guess I was just too busy with everything else. I"ll do it tomorrow, though."
Cole put his fork down carefully and squared his gla.s.s with his plate. "You do not need to do anything with my bedroom. There"s no reason for you to go in there. You don"t need to clean house, anyway. Set up a regular day with the service. They can change the sheets and towels when they"re here."
What was wrong with her going into his room? Was there some secret she wasn"t allowed to know? Sighing internally, she switched to a different topic, trying to diffuse the situation.
"All right. Thank you. I had a chance to really look at the house today. It"s beautiful. Your wife had excellent taste." The moment the words were out, she could have bitten her tongue.
Maggie was a closed subject-one of the rigid rules set down.
"My wife had nothing to do with it," he said, the edge of bitterness back in his voice. "It was done before we were married."
Things were getting more complicated by the minute. Tara wondered if she would ever know the whole story, or if she"d just keep falling into black holes. They finished dinner in silence then he headed for his den. Tara didn"t know if he expected her to stay downstairs and talk to him or just make herself scarce. She was still struggling to adjust to a Cole completely unfamiliar to her.
In twenty-four hours, she"d discovered she was living with a man who was uncomfortable in his own house, who couldn"t interact with his own daughter, and who hid painful secrets that laid traps she seemed to keep falling into.
But there was a need here so great there was no way she could turn away from it. She paused tentatively in the doorway to the den. "If there"s nothing else, I"ll go upstairs now."
He looked up, forcing a smile, then leaned back in his chair. "I"m sorry, Tara. This is still very new for both of us. Don"t worry. We"ll figure it out as we go along."
"All right." What else could she say?
"I"ll be leaving early in the morning again," he told her. If you need anything just call me at the office or on my cell."
"Thank you." She backed away headed upstairs.
Cole stayed in the den long after Tara went to her room, disconnected thoughts bouncing around in his brain. In just two days, things here had improved beyond his wildest expectations.
For the first time in months, he felt better about life, not so absorbed in his own misery.
When he finally felt tired enough to go upstairs, the nursery door stood open as well as the door to Tara"s room. Knowing he was making a big mistake, he walked silently down the hall to stand just beyond her door. She was just turning back the covers on her bed. Backlit by the bedside lamp, the curves of her body were visible through the sheer fabric of her gown. At once, his rebellious c.o.c.k hardened to almost painful rigidity.
Why couldn"t he have married someone like her to begin with? But he knew the answer to that. He"d been down that road and had no one but himself to blame. The problem was what did he do with his body that refused to obey commands anymore?
She turned, startled at seeing him. "Oh!" She grabbed for the robe at the end of the bed.
"I...didn"t expect to see you."
Nor had he expected to be standing here. But he couldn"t stop staring at her, at the body the robe couldn"t hide very well or the cloud of dark sable hair floating to her shoulders. His hands itched to reach out and run his fingers through it, but thankfully, his feet were rooted to the floor.
"I"m sorry," he finally managed. "I was just checking to make sure you were all right."
"I"m fine. Thank you." Hugging her robe around herself, she walked to the door and put her hand on it to close it.
For a moment, she stood there. Her eyes met his and the heat that flared between them was hotter than any fire he"d ever lit. h.e.l.l! This was a problem he didn"t need. He was no doubt the world"s biggest fool. One of them had to be sensible until the feeling went away. This whole situation was precarious enough without introducing s.e.x into it.
"Goodnight," he finally managed.
"Goodnight." She closed the door firmly, clicking it shut with a definite finality.
Cole trudged back to his room, four walls that held some of the most unpleasant memories in the world. A prison of his own making. Would this torture never end?
At last, he got into bed, but he lay staring into the dark for a long time.
Chapter Six.
"I"m in town, and I"m coming by for lunch, if that"s okay."
Lindsey Varner"s voice was bubbling and just the tonic Tara needed as she fretted over the coming evening.
"Great." Tara smiled. Lindsey was obviously making an effort to smooth over an awkward situation. "I"ll throw together a salad."
"I"ll bring a fattening dessert."
Even though it was Sat.u.r.day, Cole had been up early, just leaving for the office when she came downstairs to heat Molly"s bottle. His way of avoiding things, Tara was certain, so she was glad to have some company.
Lindsey arrived at twelve-thirty sharp, carrying a small bakery box and grinning broadly. "I never can resist Charlotte"s goodies. They make the most wonderful French pastries."
"I"ve set us up in the kitchen."
Lindsey looked around as she walked down the hall to the big sunny room. "G.o.d, I can"t believe the difference in this house in just two days. It even smells fresh."
"I raided a lilac bush I found in the back." Tara pulled a big salad bowl from the fridge. "I haven"t even had time to see what all is planted. I want to look at everything before the yard service comes next week."
"It"s a real transformation, but I guess you know that."
Tara busied herself pouring their iced tea.
"I know we don"t know each other all that well," Lindsey said, sipping the cold liquid, "so please tell me if I"m overstepping here. I just have to say, you have more guts than I think I would. This is quite an arrangement you"ve agreed to."
Tara picked at her salad. "I figured Jake had told you all the details."
"Please don"t be upset with him." Lindsey reached over and put a hand on Tara"s arm. "We have no secrets from each other, and Cole is a very close friend."
"I know, and it"s all right." She sighed. "I guess I"m just glad he has someone to talk to."
"And you need someone, too." Lindsey fixed her with her clear blue eyes. "We don"t know each other that well yet, but I"m hoping that will change. I want to be your friend, Tara. You"ve taken on an enormous job here."
"Molly is well worth it," Tara said, forking a piece of lettuce into her mouth.
"This past year almost completely destroyed Cole, or I might have killed him for putting you in this position. It"s just that, well, I know what he"s been through so I can excuse a lot of things."
Tara wanted to ask Lindsey what she was referring to and why things were so weird in the house, but she wasn"t sure how to approach the subject. "Do you know the whole story of his marriage?" she asked finally.
Lindsey hesitated for just a fraction of a second. "I think that has to be Cole"s story to tell.
And he will, when he"s ready. All I can tell you is he"s one of the finest men I"ve ever met. He was a rock for Jake and me when everything came down for us."
Tara nodded. She knew that the Varners had run into some rocky times before they"d married, and Cole had been there for both of them. "I wouldn"t have accepted this if I didn"t admire and trust him a lot. Right now, everything is very fresh, though, and I think we"re still feeling our way."
"aEach day in its own way," my mother used to tell me, and I have to say I believe it. I just want you to know I"m here for you."
Tara looked at the woman across from her, so calm and serene and warm. She was suddenly grateful to Cole for suggesting the phone call.
"Do you think Nicki could babysit for us next Friday? The wedding"s at five, and it"s a bad time to be juggling her schedule. Not to mention the fact that Cole will freak if he has to be anywhere near Molly."
"I"m sure she"d love to. I"ll call her tonight and give her a heads up."
The situation with the baby was another thing she wanted to ask about, but she was sure Lindsey would punt this back to Cole, also. Would he ever get around to telling her the whole story?
Cole still hadn"t returned by late afternoon, and Tara began to wonder if he as just going to hide out until dinner was over. Dinner was in the oven, the dining room table set and she was just getting ready to go upstairs to feed and bathe Molly when Lindsey called to tell her she"d spoken to Nicki.