She wasn"t making a move to come into his office. His head ached, and his stomach churned with anxiety. Was she trying to find a way to let him down easy? Had his stupid phone call in the middle of the night killed any possibility of the bargain he"d presented? Frustrated, he tore off the sheet of paper he"d been writing on, crumpled it into a ball and threw it hard against the office wall.
"Is it safe to come in?"
He looked up. Tara stood at the office door, a tentative smile on her face.
"Of course." He blew out a breath.
"You look as if you"re chewing steel," she told him.
"I probably could right now." He motioned her forward. "Please. Come in."
She closed the door, probably to give them privacy in case anyone wandered in, then leaned back against it. Had she slept at all after he"d called? Or had she spent the night as he had, confounded by the whole situation? He gritted his teeth with the tension.
At last, she took a deep breath and let it out. "Before I give you my answer, it would help to go out to your house and see Molly. If I"m going to be her...mother, I don"t think that"s an unreasonable request."
Cole"s body tightened. Of course. She"d want to see what she was getting into. Maybe that would be the last nail in his coffin, but he nodded. "No problem. When do you want to go?"
"I think the sooner the better. Mornings are usually the quietest around here. I can forward the calls to the answering service and, of course, let Jake and Sean know we"ll be leaving."
Cole could well imagine what those two would think.
"All right. Let me know as soon as you"re ready."
Before nine o"clock, they were heading out I-10 in a tension-filled silence. Whatever s.e.xual overtones might have popped up unexpectedly were certainly absent now.
Cole"s house was located in Alamo Heights, a suburb of old money and executive wealth, He"d fallen in love with the architecture of the Georgian colonial and enjoyed living there until his life fell apart. Now, despite the oleanders and bougainvillea blooming in colorful profusion and two large crepe myrtles covered in soft lilac blossoms, everything looked cold and lifeless to him.
"It"s beautiful," she commented, turning toward him.
If you only knew.
Cole felt as if Armageddon was just beyond the doors. He had deliberately not called to give the housekeeper any warning, wanting Tara to understand completely what she was walking into.
"Don"t think the outside is an indication of the inside. I have an excellent lawn service."
His voice was taut as a rubber band. "You may be in for more of a surprise than you thought. The housekeepers haven"t done as good a job as the yardmen. This one can"t seem to walk and chew gum at the same time."
"Where do you get them?" She raised one eyebrow in curiosity. "The housekeepers, I mean."
"An agency. And this isn"t the first one I"ve tried. I"ve gone through six in as many weeks."
Did that make him sound like an impossible perfectionist to work for? But surely she knew from the office how he was. And if anyone could make order out of chaos, it was Tara.
He took a deep breath, feeling as if he were about to plunge off a cliff. "All right. Let"s go on in."
Tara had been prepared for a sterile environment, with a little girl tended to by robots on an orderly schedule. Robots who had no idea how to relate to a child. What greeted her was beyond anything she"d imagined.
A sharp voice drifted out from the kitchen. "Take this bottle. Open your mouth now or I"ll throw this away."
Tara couldn"t believe the animosity in the tone. But the room they stepped into was worse than any irritable voice. All around them was total disorder, the acc.u.mulation of neglect evident. The housekeeper sat in one of the kitchen chairs, a bottle in one hand, a screaming child in the other.
Tara was stunned. Had Cole even noticed what was going on here? She looked at the distressed baby and felt her heart lurch. At the center of the maelstrom was the most adorable infant she had ever seen. A fuzz of dark hair framed a pixie face with round cheeks, now more red than pink. Thick lashes fringed warm dark eyes and dimples flashed at the corners of her mouth. She was dressed in a onesie that was stained in the front and from the odor in the kitchen none to clean.
She spied Tara and Cole and began to scream even louder.
The housekeeper turned, startled. "Oh! I"m sorry. I wasn"t expecting you, Mr. Ca.s.sidy."
Tara could believe that.
Cole cleared his throat. "Mrs. Randall, this is Tara McKee."
"h.e.l.lo." She got up from her chair, juggling the baby and sighed. "I"ve been trying to get this bottle into her for ages without any success."
Cole made no acknowledgement of anything, simply stepped back as if removing himself from the scene.
Tara"s mind processed everything. So this was the reason for the urgent proposal. This woman obviously didn"t like children, at least not this one. And her housekeeping skills wouldn"t win any awards. Why on earth would she take a job caring for a house and child if she hated doing it? And why didn"t Cole at least get a cleaning crew in here once in a while? Had he just washed his hands of everything to do with his personal life?
This is a nightmare. But the baby. Oh, that heartwarming child so badly needs someone to love her.
What on earth had happened in this house to bring it to the brink of such destruction?
She looked at Cole, hoping for some kind of explanation, but he simply stood near the wall, his posture stiff and unyielding. Every line of his body shouted aversion to the whole thing. She would have thought him cold and unfeeling if not for the torment in his eyes. His gaze begged her, Please don"t judge me so quickly.
So many emotions bubbled up inside Tara that for a moment she had trouble maintaining her composure. It included a pain that had never left her heart, a secret she hadn"t felt the need to share with Cole. This was a disaster, and sooner or later, she had to get to the bottom of this. But not right now, when there were more urgent matters.
Suddenly, Molly hiccupped, stopped crying and reached her tiny arms out to Tara. And Tara"s world turned upside down. Gone in an instant were her fears and misgivings at sharing a house with Cole and her dismay at what faced her. With one gesture, Molly Ca.s.sidy had become the focus of Tara"s world, and an unusual feeling of calm settled over her.
She was getting something she"d never thought to have, and that alone would help her do this. She could make it work. All she needed was to get past the emotional landmines she knew awaited her. She stepped over to the chair.
"May I?" Without waiting for an answer, she dropped her purse on the counter and lifted the baby from the housekeeper"s arms. As she nestled her cheek against the soft skin of the baby"s face, she felt a painful hitch in her heart. Tears p.r.i.c.ked the inside of her eyelids, threatening to run down her cheeks and she blinked hard to contain them.
"She needs cleaning up," Mrs. Randall said nervously.
No kidding!
"That"s all right." Tara smiled. "Why don"t I take her upstairs and change her?"
The housekeeper looked at Cole for answers.
He just nodded, looking like a caged eagle desperate to take flight. The message was clear to Tara-do whatever needs to be done, but leave him out of it. If she"d had her car with her, she"d have told him to go on back to the office at once. She had never seen him this uptight.
"I"ll take care of her." She spoke in a quiet tone to the housekeeper. She turned to Cole.
"Which way is upstairs?"
"This way." He led her out of the kitchen, into the hall then to the sweeping arc of the stairway.
Tara stopped at the bottom step. "We have a lot to discuss, but I"ll give you my answer now. Yes. I"ll agree to this bizarre marriage arrangement. The sooner the better."
Cole visibly sagged with relief. "Tara, I promise you I"ll make sure you won"t regret this. A bargain is a bargain, and I"ll keep my end."
"Don"t make promises you might not be able to keep," she said tautly. "Meanwhile, we have some immediate problems to resolve. Get rid of that dreadful woman. Pay her and send her on her way. This seems to be way beyond her capability, and I don"t particularly care for her att.i.tude toward Molly."
"Tara, I-"
"It"s all right. And call Jake. Ask him to look in my Rolodex for the number for the cleaning service we use for new construction." She stopped, suddenly worried. "I"m not presuming too much, am I? Overstepping my bounds?"
"You"re kidding, right? This is more than I hoped for. But what about..."
She shook her head. "When I come back down."
Cole tried once again to say something, but Tara hurried up the stairs with Molly in her arms. The upper floor had the same depressing air of neglect as the kitchen and a musty odor hung over everything.
What"s wrong here? I can"t understand why Cole would tolerate this kind of existence.
She located the nursery at the end of the hall. Not wanting to take the time for a tub bath, she stripped off the little girl"s clothes, carried her into the adjoining bathroom and ran a sink of warm water. While she bathed Molly gently with a washcloth, she talked to her and sang songs she dredged up from her childhood.
I have to be the dumbest person in the world to agree to this. But it"s criminal what"s happening with this adorable little girl. How could Cole ignore his child this way? He acts as if she"s contagious. I would have expected a lot more from him.
But it was what it was, and without hesitation, she decided her next move.
Her mind raced, and her stomach did flip-flops at the thought of the very unTara-like thing she was about to do. She worried that this really was pushing it, but the minute she"d seen Molly, everything else ceased to exist. This-a child to love who obviously needed her -was the only thing that mattered right now. And she would do whatever she had to where Molly"s welfare was concerned. Even if it meant suppressing those flames of desire that consumed her whenever she was in Cole"s presence.
She opened a drawer and pulled out the first onesie she came to, thinking inventory later.
In a few minutes, she carried a clean and freshly dressed Molly downstairs and went to find Cole.
He stood in the kitchen, leaning against the wall, arms crossed, face set in granite.
"She"s gone." He paused, his voice and posture indicating his discomfort. "Tara, I know what you must be thinking..."
"One of these days you"ll have to tell me what"s going on here, but right now this child needs attention."
"Shall I call the agency to send someone else?" he asked, his voice hesitant.
Tara sat down with Molly in her lap, cuddling the infant against her. "No, I think not. You said I could make decisions, so I"m taking you at your word." "Anything." His relief was evident.
"Whatever you want, as long as you don"t change your mind."
Okay, she thought, here goes. "I think I should move into the house right away." She held her breath, waiting for him to say something, but he was silent. "Does that shock you? The situation with Molly is the most important thing right now. You said to do what"s best for her.
And we"re going to be married quickly, right?"
Breath whooshed out of him in the biggest sigh of relief Tara had ever heard. A smile, the first his mouth had formed in ages, tugged at his lips. "You really are full of surprises, aren"t you? I was hoping that was what you"d do. Tackle it the way you do every project in the office."
For a moment, his reminder of the business-like nature of the situation chilled her, but she quickly brushed away the feeling. "I don"t suppose that will cause any more gossip among your friends than the wedding itself.""The h.e.l.l with my friends. They were never there when I needed them anyway. I just want to be sensitive about appearances for your sake."
"I think appearances are the least of the problem here. The only people I"m concerned about are my parents, and I"ll deal with that. Somehow." She paused. "But that presents another problem. This means I won"t be coming back to the office. That will cause some problems for you." She nibbled at her lower lip, rocking the baby gently in her arms. "I"ll call the temp agency we used when I took vacation. I"ll tell them we"re looking for a permanent replacement and to send us someone qualified who"s looking for that."
"I can make the call if that would help," Cole ventured.
Tara shook her head. "No. Not to step on your toes but I know better what"s needed in that job so I"ll take care of it. But I"ll need to get my car, go by my house, put together a schedule to get everything done." She got up and looked in the pantry and the refrigerator. More disaster.
"And grocery shop."
"I think we should take care of the license and the rings today. I"ll call Judge Harrison about performing the ceremony, unless you have a preference of some kind." The lines in his face deepened. What about the child? Can you do something with her? I don"t want to haul her around with us."
Tara bit back the retort that jumped to her lips. "Do you think Lindsey might know of a babysitter we can trust?"
"I suppose. Jake has a big family, lots of nieces. Maybe one of them would do." He tore a sheet of paper from a pad on the counter. "Here"s the number of the cleaning service." "Fine. I"ll talk to them while you call Lindsey. Then I think we should get going."
And just like that, Tara"s life turned upside down.
Chapter Four.
While Tara arranged for a cleaning crew, Cole called Jake to ask him if he thought his wife might be able to help them.
"Lindsey came through for us," Cole told Tara, snapping his cell phone shut. "She"s making the calls for us, but everyone"s in school until two o"clock. She"ll have someone here by three.
That will give us enough time to take care of business. We can do it right here in Alamo Heights."
"Good. The cleaning crew will be here at noon, so I"d better hustle. I asked for the biggest one they had and offered them double. I hope that"s okay. We"ll need it."
They had a couple of sticky moments making the rest of their arrangements.
"Do you know where the carrier is?" Tara asked, holding Molly as they prepared to leave the house.
"I think Mrs. Randall put it in the garage."
Tara looked at him. "You mean to tell me this baby has never been out of the house?"
His discomfort was obvious. "I"ll go get it."
He brought it to her, holding it as if it would bite him, perplexed as to what to do with it.
Tara gritted her teeth and settled Molly in it. "Can you watch her for a minute? I need to run upstairs and get a light blanket to wrap her in and pack a diaper bag."
"Watch her?" Cole looked as if he"d bolt out the door.
Tara fought back her impatience. "She won"t get up and run away. Please. I"ll be quick."
Without giving him a chance to object, she raced up the stairs, dug in the chest of drawers in the nursery for some kind of light wrap, found the diaper bag in the closet and pulled things from the changing table, stuffing them in as fast as she could. She literally ran back down the stairs.