"Lately...ah. You are saying that there was a cessation, round about the time of the birth of number two, and now he is trying for three."
"In his his mind they are One and Two respectively. For the first, being a b.a.s.t.a.r.d, is a zero; which means a nullity, something that does not exist." mind they are One and Two respectively. For the first, being a b.a.s.t.a.r.d, is a zero; which means a nullity, something that does not exist."
"That-the b.a.s.t.a.r.d I mean-is the one you had round about the time I shipped out to Dundalk, and you got marooned in Dunkerque?"
"Yes. Why?"
"Just refreshing my memory, my lady, no need to be getting all stiff in the spine-cor! It"s gone loose, I shall have to re-lace from the beginning."
"It is not necessary. Just get to work b.u.t.toning up the bodice."
"Got ripped a bit, I"m afraid."
"I"ll have it mended. Come, I am apprehensive that someone will happen along and discover us."
"Ah, but not to worry-I"m naked!"
"How is it better to be naked?"
"As long as I keep my mouth shut, I"ll be indistinguishable from one of your French n.o.bility. They"ll run away in terror."
"Especially when they see your scars. Very impressive."
"You would never think so, if you had any notion of the pain that comes with these scars, the weakness, the helplessness-draining pus for months-not knowing from one moment to the next whether you shall live or die-"
"You forget that I have given birth twice."
"Touche. Ah, but now you"ve brought me back round to my topic."
"What is your topic?"
"You never talk about the b.a.s.t.a.r.d."
"Perhaps, from that, you should collect that I do not wish to speak of him."
"I was merely asking as a routine courtesy, as is common among parents."
"How are Jack"s boys?"
"Jimmy and Danny are Regimental boys like their father and nuncle. If they"re doing as they ought to-which is unlikely-they are, at this moment, peeling potatoes at our camp outside of Cherbourg."
"Do they have any inkling that you are acting as a spy for Marlborough?"
"Why, what an impolite question, Madame la d.u.c.h.esse! I am in no way certain that I am am a spy. Haven"t made up my mind yet. Haven"t sent any information his way." a spy. Haven"t made up my mind yet. Haven"t sent any information his way."
"Well, when you decide to do so, you may send it through me."
"If I decide to do so." I decide to do so."
"You will. An invasion of England is planned, is it not?"
"When French and Irish regiments march up to the tip of the Cotentin Peninsula and form great camps in the spring-time, it does make one tend to think "long those lines, don"t it?"
"In the end you"ll not suffer England to be invaded. You"ll inform Marlborough."
"Marlborough"s in disgrace. He and his meddlesome wife got on the wrong side of William and Mary. He had to sell his offices, his commissions. He is nothing now."
"Yes, it is the talk of every salon salon in Versailles. But if England is invaded, he will be un-disgraced very rapidly, and put at the head of some regiments. And you will rally to him." in Versailles. But if England is invaded, he will be un-disgraced very rapidly, and put at the head of some regiments. And you will rally to him."
"As you seem so certain of these things, I deem all your questions answered, madame-so I turn them round. Does the Duke of Arcachon have any inkling that you you are a spy?" are a spy?"
"Your supposition is mistaken. I spied for England once once. Now I do it for myself."
"Ah. So, if we are to cross the Channel, you should like to know of it for your own purposes."
"You say this-"for your own purposes"-as if I am the only one in the world who had had purposes." purposes."
"Very well, very well...d.a.m.ned lot of b.u.t.tons, ain"t it?"
"You did not seem to mind so much when you were undoing them ten minutes ago."
"Twenty minutes, by your leave, madame, do allow me minutes, by your leave, madame, do allow me some some pride. Ten minutes! Am I really so perfunctory?" pride. Ten minutes! Am I really so perfunctory?"
"Perhaps I I am." am."
"Hmm, now, that is an unusual turning of the tables...it is supposed to be he he who is perfunctory and selfish, and who is perfunctory and selfish, and she she who wants to stretch it out." who wants to stretch it out."
"Ah, but I did did stretch it out, Sergeant, when I was inspecting it for signs of the French Pox. And a long stretch it was." stretch it out, Sergeant, when I was inspecting it for signs of the French Pox. And a long stretch it was."
"You try to change the subject, and to distract me with flattery-but this methodical inspection of my yard is further proof of the businesslike nature of the transaction just concluded, is it not?"
"Very well...I hope that Number Three, as you count them, or Two, as etienne does, will be half-Shaftoe rather than half-Lavardac, and, in consequence, altogether fitter, handsomer, and cleverer than Number Two/One, bless his poor little heart."
"I...I...I am shocked!"
"Why so shocked, you who"ve been in battles and seen, and done, the worst that men can do?" so shocked, you who"ve been in battles and seen, and done, the worst that men can do?"
"P"raps that is not so terrible, set against the worst that women women can do." can do."
"You protest too much. You are not serious. Though "tis true there are terrible women in the world, I am not one of them."
"Why, to use use a man in such a way...am I to have no knowledge of my own offspring!?" a man in such a way...am I to have no knowledge of my own offspring!?"
"Why did you not ask such penetrating questions prior prior to f.u.c.king me in a haystack, Sergeant Shaftoe? Were you not aware, until now, that f.u.c.king leads to babies?" to f.u.c.king me in a haystack, Sergeant Shaftoe? Were you not aware, until now, that f.u.c.king leads to babies?"
"Very well, very well...that is not why I am shocked." is not why I am shocked."
"Why then, Bob?" then, Bob?"
"Of course, I know you don"t really fancy me. So, "tis not that I have been let down on that score."
"Just as I I know know you you do not really fancy do not really fancy me me."
"Of course not. Though you are fetching, a bit."
"Just as are you in your own mottled way, Bob."
"But I always a.s.sumed that you had me simply because you couldn"t have Jack."
"Just as you have me because you can"t have Abigail?"
"Just so, madame. But it did never enter my head that it was, at root, a baby-making proposition...what is wrong with Number Two/One?"
"Lucien is, to use an English expression, a funny-looking kid. "Tis common among Lavardacs. Moreover, he is listless and slow to thrive."
"What of Number One/Null?"
"The most beautiful child who ever lived. Bright, happy, vigorous, altogether radiant."
"What"s his name?"
"He was baptized baptized Jean-Jacques." Jean-Jacques."
"I can guess where the Jacques is from."
"Yes, and the Jean is from Jean Bart."
"You named your firstborn after a pirate and a Vagabond?"
"Don"t be so haughty. One of them is your brother, after all."
"But why this careful phrasing: "He was baptized baptized Jean-Jacques"?" Jean-Jacques"?"
"He answers to Johann."
"How"s that again?"
"Johann. Johann von Hacklheber."
"Peculiar name that, for the b.a.s.t.a.r.d of a French d.u.c.h.ess."
"He has been...visiting in Leipzig for a few days short of eighteen months. When he went there, he was not quite a year and a half old. I have got reports of him from friends who dwell in that part of the world, and they inform me that he is called by the name Johann von Hacklheber there." in Leipzig for a few days short of eighteen months. When he went there, he was not quite a year and a half old. I have got reports of him from friends who dwell in that part of the world, and they inform me that he is called by the name Johann von Hacklheber there."
"Now, anything with a "von" in it is a n.o.ble name-like "de" here, am I right?"
"Oh yes. He dwells in the household of a German baron."
"I know nothing of the ways of Continental n.o.bility, but it strikes me as an unusual sort of arrangement."
"You have no idea."
"You may not know it, Madame, but you have got a sort of burning glow about the face and eyes now, a bit like during s.e.x, but different."
"It is another form of desire, that"s all."
"You want the boy back. You are not happy with the arrangement...oh, Jesus!"
"Go ahead and say it."
"He was taken from you taken from you!?"
"Yes."
"Jesus. Why!? Why!?"
"Never mind. My purpose is to get to him who took my boy, and..."
"Get your boy back, I a.s.sume?"
"Or, to judge from the look on your face, perhaps I should not make a.s.sumptions."
"Let me tell you what is truly evil about what was done to me eighteen months ago."
"I am listening."
"You are probably phant"sying parallels, similitudes, between what was done to your Abigail and what was done to my Jean-Jacques. But put such thoughts out of your mind. Abigail is a slave, held against her will, misused. A prisoner. This is no longer true of my Jean-Jacques. He is better off as Johann in Leipzig than he was as Jean-Jacques in Versailles. The captors of Abigail are imbeciles-guilty of a failure of imagination. By keeping her in a miserable estate, they make you you miserable, "tis true-but your path is clear: It is the path so familiar from myths and legends, the path of righteous fury, revenge, retribution, rescue. Lothar von Hacklheber has done something infinitely more cruel. He has made my boy miserable, "tis true-but your path is clear: It is the path so familiar from myths and legends, the path of righteous fury, revenge, retribution, rescue. Lothar von Hacklheber has done something infinitely more cruel. He has made my boy happy. happy. If I were able, somehow, to go to Leipzig and steal him back, the child would be terrified and miserable. And perhaps justly so, for when I got back I should have no choice but to deposit him in some Church orphanage outside of Versailles to be raised by nuns and made over into a Jesuit priest." If I were able, somehow, to go to Leipzig and steal him back, the child would be terrified and miserable. And perhaps justly so, for when I got back I should have no choice but to deposit him in some Church orphanage outside of Versailles to be raised by nuns and made over into a Jesuit priest."
"Hoosh. I am glad for my own sake, madame, that I was not anywhere near you at the moment when you first came to understand this..."
"Why are you staring at me thus? It makes me think I had better put my clothes back on-perhaps arm myself as well."
"Are you only just understanding it now now!?"
"If an idea is terrible enough, the mind is unwilling to swallow it in one go, but regurgitates and chews it like cud many times before it goes down for good. This is one that I have been chewing on for more than a year. It took me several weeks, after Jean-Jacques was abducted, for me to establish his whereabouts. By the time I could formulate even a hasty and ill-conceived plan to go fetch him back, I was pregnant with Lucien. It is only now that Lucien has been born, and I have recovered from it, that I can consider taking any steps in the matter of Jean-Jacques. And now it is too late. There. Done. I have swallowed it."
"All right. I could see this coming. Put your head there on my breastbone, madame, I"ll hold you in my arms, so you don"t collapse, or come undone. Sob all you want, I have you, no one"s looking, we have time."