Daniel said, "By the time that Brother Norman has this galley ship-shape, which will be-?"
"A week," said Orney. "G.o.d willing."
"By then I shall have damaged quite a few more, and they shall be ready to ship to St. Petersburg. If the Tsar is pleased by the results, the project in question may then move forward. But as this has nothing to do with the Clubb, let us set it aside for now." And he literally did, putting the card back in the chest and setting it aside.
"Well, if we"re to speak no further of Brother Daniel"s entanglements in Muscovy," said Mr. Orney, "perhaps Mr. Threader would now care to explain his presence."
"I would speak to the Clubb of an Opportunity," said Mr. Threader-who had finally composed himself and re-established his customary dry and dignified mien. He was gazing pensively out the window, and so did not witness the other members rolling their eyes and glancing at their watches. After a pause for effect, he made a half-turn and began looking them in the eye, each in turn. "Dr. Waterhouse has raised the possibility that the Infernal Device that nearly killed him and me in Crane Court, might not have been intended for either one of us-but rather for Sir Isaac Newton, who was known to frequent Crane Court late of a Sunday evening. This hypothesis was roundly hooted down at our previous meeting, and I shall be the first to confess that I was extremely skeptickal of it. But everything has changed. In the Clubbs and coffee-houses of the City, one name is now on every tongue: Jack the Coiner. At Westminster, in Lords, and in Star Chamber, who is the man they speak of? The Duke of Marlborough? No. Prince Eugene? No. It is Jack the Coiner. At the Tower of London, rumors abound that Jack the Coiner goes in and out of the Mint at will. Why is my lord Bolingbroke investigating the fineness of Her Majesty"s coinage? Why, because he fears it has been adulterated by Jack the Coiner. Why has Sir Isaac Newton suffered a nervous collapse? Because of the mischief committed against him by Jack the Coiner. Now, I ask you men of the Clubb: supposing, for the sake of argument, that we credit the extraordinary hypothesis of Dr. Waterhouse as to the intended victim of the first Infernal Device: what man would have a motive to a.s.sa.s.sinate him whose charge it is to prosecute all coiners, and send them to Tyburn to be torn apart? Why, a coiner! And among coiners, which would command the resources, which would have the cunning, to build and to place an Infernal Device?"
Kikin and Orney were silent, sullenly declining to partic.i.p.ate in Threader"s call-and-response.
"Jack the Coiner," said Daniel dutifully-since it was, after all, his his hypothesis. hypothesis.
"Jack the Coiner. And therein lies the Opportunity I spoke of."
"An opportunity to have our throats slit from ear to ear?" Mr. Orney inquired.
"No! An opportunity to be of service to great men-men such as Her Britannic Majesty"s Secretary of State Viscount Bolingbroke, Mr. Charles White, and Sir Isaac Newton!"
"Ah, yes, that would would seem like an Opportunity for some," said Mr. Kikin, "but not for me, as I am already quite busy being of service to the Greatest Man in the World. Thank you anyway." seem like an Opportunity for some," said Mr. Kikin, "but not for me, as I am already quite busy being of service to the Greatest Man in the World. Thank you anyway."
"As for myself," said Mr. Orney, "I am put in mind of Our Saviour, who made Himself of service to the poor by washing their feet with His own hands. Following His example as best a sinner may, I can have no larger ambition than to be of service to my common ordinary brethren, the salt of the earth. The Viscount Bolingbroke can look after himself."
Mr. Threader sighed. "I had phant"sied I might fire this Clubb with renewed l.u.s.t for the pursuit."
Daniel said, "Mr. Kikin and Mr. Orney each has his own reason to join in that pursuit, as they have just explained to us-so why don"t let"s each pursue Jack for his own motives. If you wish to construe it as an Opportunity, it is of no account to me one way or the other."
"I have been making inquiries about this knave Jack," Mr. Threader said. "It is rumored that he is from time to time seen around the warehouses of Mr. Knockmealdown."
Orney scoffed. "That is like saying he has been spotted in England," he pointed out, "since the hideaways and bolt-holes of the East London Company spread across half of the Borough."
"Who is this person? What is this company?" Mr. Kikin wanted to know.
"Mr. Knockmealdown is the most notorious receiver of stolen goods in the metropolis," Daniel said.
"That is no mean distinction," Mr. Kikin said, "as this place has as many fences fences as as constables constables."
"To be sure, there are thousands of those," Daniel a.s.sured him, "but only a few dozen receivers of note."
Orney put in, "There is only one who has ama.s.sed capital sufficient to receive goods on a large scale-say, the whole contents of a pirated ship, as well as the ship itself. That is Mr. Knockmealdown."
"And this man has a company company?!"
"Of course not," Orney said. "But he has an organization, organization, which has ramified and spread from Rotherhithe-where I am sorry to say he got his start-up the bank to encompa.s.s a considerable part of the Bermondsey and Southwark waterfronts. Some wag once, drawing a facetious comparison to the British East India Company, dubbed it the Irish East London Company, and the name has stuck." which has ramified and spread from Rotherhithe-where I am sorry to say he got his start-up the bank to encompa.s.s a considerable part of the Bermondsey and Southwark waterfronts. Some wag once, drawing a facetious comparison to the British East India Company, dubbed it the Irish East London Company, and the name has stuck."
"So Mr. Threader has tracked our quarry as far as the south bank of the River Thames," Daniel said. "Meanwhile our missing member, Henry Arlanc, has, he a.s.sures me, been pursuing his investigations among the Vault-men of Fleet Ditch, so far to no practical effect. Has there been any progress in retaining a thief-taker?"
"I spent, or rather wasted, some time on it," said Mr. Kikin. "I posted a reward, and heard from several who feigned interest. But when I explained the nature of the work to them, they quickly lost interest."
"If the hypothesis of Brother Daniel and Mr. Threader is correct, this explains itself," said Mr. Orney. "Thief-takers, as I understand them, are petty scoundrels-poachers of small game. Such a varlet would not dare challenge Jack the Coiner."
"Perhaps, rather than posting a reward, it were better to find one thief-taker who is resolute, and treat with him directly," Mr. Threader suggested.
"It is most generous of the two of you to share these notions with me," said Mr. Kikin, "but I have antic.i.p.ated you, and made efforts to reach Mr. Sean Partry."
"And that is-?" Orney asked.
"The most famous of all living thief-takers," Kikin announced.
"I have never heard of him," said Threader.
"Because you are a City man-why should you? Rest a.s.sured he enjoys a high reputation in the demimonde demimonde-several of the petty thief-takers who came to me after I posted the reward, mentioned his name with great respect."
"Supposing that he is all that he"s reputed to be-even so, can he challenge the likes of Jack the Coiner?" Daniel asked.
"More to the point, will will he?" Threader added. he?" Threader added.
"He will, will," Kikin returned, "for "tis said that his younger brother was slain by a member of Jack"s gang. As to whether he can can, this shall be discovered before we have to pay him very much money."
"Very well, provided we can settle on a clear definition of this troubling phrase very much money, very much money, I would be amenable to further contacts with Mr. Sean Partry," said Mr. Threader; and the others seemed to say, with little nods of their heads, that they did not disagree. I would be amenable to further contacts with Mr. Sean Partry," said Mr. Threader; and the others seemed to say, with little nods of their heads, that they did not disagree.
"We"ve not heard from you, Brother Daniel," said Orney. "Have you continued in your own investigation? How goes it?"
"It goes splendidly," Daniel returned, "but it is a slow strategy that I am pursuing, one that shall reward our patience. Notwithstanding which, results are beginning to develop: both the Marquis of Ravenscar and the Royal College of Physicians have been victims of burglary in the last month. I could not be more satisfied."
The other three exchanged looks, but none would be first to admit that he could not understand what Daniel was talking about. He was developing a reputation, it seemed, as a strange bloke who wandered about London in possession of perforated gold plates badly wanted by the Tsar; and the instincts of Mr. Orney, Mr. Threader, and Mr. Kikin were not to pry into the Pandora"s Box that, it seemed, was the life of Dr. Waterhouse.
Westminster Palace 25 JUNE 1714.
THE HOUSE BEING INFORMED, That the Secretary of the South Sea South Sea Company attended; Company attended;He was called in; and, at the Bar, presented to the House, a Book containing the Proceedings of the Directors of the South Sea South Sea Company, relating to the Company, relating to the a.s.siento a.s.siento Trade; together with all Directions, Letters, and Informations, which the Directors, or any Committee of Directors, have received concerning the same. Trade; together with all Directions, Letters, and Informations, which the Directors, or any Committee of Directors, have received concerning the same.And then he withdrew.The t.i.tle of the said Book was read.Ordered, That the said Book do lie upon the Table, to be perused by the Members of the House. That the said Book do lie upon the Table, to be perused by the Members of the House.-JOURNALS OF THE HOUSE OF COMMONS, VENERIS, 25 25 DIE JULII; DIE JULII; ANNO 13 ANNAE REGINAE, 1714 ANNO 13 ANNAE REGINAE, 1714Dr. Daniel Waterhouse c/o the Royal Society c/o the Royal Society Crane Court Crane Court London London Mr. Enoch Root Mr. Enoch Root Thorn Bush Tavern Thorn Bush Tavern Boston Boston 25 June 1714 25 June 1714 Mr. Root, Mr. Root, Forgive the use of that barbarous convenience, the Pencil. For I write these words over a cup of Java in Waghorn"s Coffee-house, which as you may know is a sort of annex to the lobby of the House of Lords. Forgive the use of that barbarous convenience, the Pencil. For I write these words over a cup of Java in Waghorn"s Coffee-house, which as you may know is a sort of annex to the lobby of the House of Lords.From which you may infer that I am pressed in on all sides by that species of bipedal parasite known as the Lobbyer. Indeed, you may even be tugging fretfully at your red beard, wondering whether I have become become a Lobbyer. The fact that I am writing a letter-instead of sidling up to well-dressed gentlemen and feigning interest in their children"s welfare-is evidence to the contrary. My sojourn to Westminster today was occasioned by the need to speak to the Longitude Committee, and is being extended by my hope-vain, as it turns out-that Lords shall wind up their deliberations in a timely manner so that I may have a few words with one of their number. So perhaps in the end I a Lobbyer. The fact that I am writing a letter-instead of sidling up to well-dressed gentlemen and feigning interest in their children"s welfare-is evidence to the contrary. My sojourn to Westminster today was occasioned by the need to speak to the Longitude Committee, and is being extended by my hope-vain, as it turns out-that Lords shall wind up their deliberations in a timely manner so that I may have a few words with one of their number. So perhaps in the end I am am a Lobbyer. a Lobbyer.I write to you you because I wish to communicate with my because I wish to communicate with my son son, G.o.dfrey. This might seem a curiously indirect way of doing it. Indeed I often send the lad birthday-greetings and short paternal homilies, addressed to him care of my beloved wife. The little notes that come back to me months later, veering across the page in his deranged, expansive hand, and riddled with ink-bursts, are evidence that Faith is pa.s.sing my correspondence on to him. Why, then, should I route this letter through the circuitous channel of Mr. Root"s Table at the Thorn Bush Tavern? Because what I wish to convey to my son is not easily set down in phrases that a boy of his age has the wit to pa.r.s.e rightly.It is known to everyone who has studied the life of my son"s namesake, Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz, that when he was a boy, he was, for a time, locked out of the library of his dead father. A petty n.o.bleman of Leipzig, learning of this atrocity, intervened on the boy"s behalf, and saw to it that the library-door was unlocked, and little Gottfried was given the run of the place. What is less well known is that the mysterious n.o.bleman was named Egon von Hacklheber-a contemporary of the mighty and orgulous banker, Lothar, who made the House of Hacklheber what it is, and is not, today. Rather than offering a physical description of Lother"s little-known "stepbrother" Egon, I shall make this letter a good bit shorter by saying that he looked like you, Enoch. He vanished shortly after the conclusion of the Thirty Years" War and was presumed murdered by highwaymen.Now in Boston lives a boy G.o.dfrey William who may shortly find himself in the same plight that Gottfried Wilhelm faced in Leipzig sixty years ago. To wit, it is likely that his father shall turn up dead, and that the boy shall find himself in the care of a mother who is loving and well-intentioned but entirely too apt to be swayed by the counsels of neighbors, teachers, ministers, &c. I have spent enough time around Puritans in general, and Boston Puritans in particular, to know what these people will tell her: lock up the library! Or in other words-since I left only a paltry library behind-raise the boy to think of his father as a kindly but inept, fanciful but harmless character (rather like our neighbor, Mrs. Goose), who wandered off on a fool"s errand, and met with a wholly predictable, and therefore richly deserved, fate-a sort of fate that G.o.dfrey may avoid, by steering clear of his father"s eccentricities and enthusiasms. In other words, Faith will let the boy partake of whatever nourishment he wants, provided it smacks not of Philosophy.I charge you, Enoch, with saving the boy. A weighty burden I know; but much is afoot here. To a.s.sist you in this difficult task, I shall from time to time send you letters such as this one, that you may read in a few minutes what I have done in a few weeks. If these are shown to G.o.dfrey when he is older, their contents may help to dispel any illusions as to my sanity and my seriousness that may have been planted in his mind by his fellow colonists. Months may pa.s.s, however, during which I do not have leisure to write to you again, even hastily with a pencil, as now. The odds are high that during those months I shall have an encounter with a nicotine-smirched poniard, a Black-guard"s bludgeon, a court-fop"s epee, or Jack Ketch"s rope. I may even-unlikely as it now seems-die of natural causes.I have just been interrupted for some minutes by an acquaintance, one Mr. Threader. He is flitting and hopping about Waghorn"s and the Lobby like a sparrow whose nest has just been blown down in a wind-storm. Most of his energies are directed towards what is going on in Lords, which has to do with some Asiento money that has gone missing (if you have not heard of this scandal, vide vide any of the newspapers on the ship that brought you this letter). But he has graciously spared a few minutes to feign some concern for Sir Isaac. Two weeks have pa.s.sed since Newton came here to discourse of Longitude before Commons, was pulled aside to treat of Mint matters in Star Chamber, and suffered a nervous collapse. Countless rumors have circulated concerning the nature and gravity of his illness, and Mr. Threader has just recited any of the newspapers on the ship that brought you this letter). But he has graciously spared a few minutes to feign some concern for Sir Isaac. Two weeks have pa.s.sed since Newton came here to discourse of Longitude before Commons, was pulled aside to treat of Mint matters in Star Chamber, and suffered a nervous collapse. Countless rumors have circulated concerning the nature and gravity of his illness, and Mr. Threader has just recited all all of them to me whilst studying my face. I cannot guess what my phizz told him, but my words let him know that the stories are all falsehoods. The truth of the matter is that Newton has been moved back to his house in St. Martin"s, and is recovering satisfactorily. Today I addressed the Longitude Committee in his stead-not because he is really all that sick, but because no inducement will now prevail on him to come back to Westminster Palace, which he looks on as a thriving nest of vipers, hornets, Jesuits, &c., &c. If he ever sets foot in this place again-which will happen only if he is compelled to, by a Trial of the Pyx-he will not come naive and unready, as he did a fortnight ago. He will come in the habit of a Grenadier, viz. as bedizened with Bombs as is the Apple Tree with Fruit. of them to me whilst studying my face. I cannot guess what my phizz told him, but my words let him know that the stories are all falsehoods. The truth of the matter is that Newton has been moved back to his house in St. Martin"s, and is recovering satisfactorily. Today I addressed the Longitude Committee in his stead-not because he is really all that sick, but because no inducement will now prevail on him to come back to Westminster Palace, which he looks on as a thriving nest of vipers, hornets, Jesuits, &c., &c. If he ever sets foot in this place again-which will happen only if he is compelled to, by a Trial of the Pyx-he will not come naive and unready, as he did a fortnight ago. He will come in the habit of a Grenadier, viz. as bedizened with Bombs as is the Apple Tree with Fruit.You will be shocked to learn that gambling gambling is the order of the hour, here in Waghorn"s. The lobbyers have all lobbied one another to exhaustion, and still the Lords show grievously bad form by continuing to deliberate behind closed doors. Nothing is left to the lobbyers, as a way of pa.s.sing the hours, than Vices. Having drunk up all the spiritous matter and smoked up all the air in Waghorn"s, the only feasible vice left to them is the laying of wagers. Coins brought hither this morning for the honest purpose of bribing legislators, are being put to base uses. is the order of the hour, here in Waghorn"s. The lobbyers have all lobbied one another to exhaustion, and still the Lords show grievously bad form by continuing to deliberate behind closed doors. Nothing is left to the lobbyers, as a way of pa.s.sing the hours, than Vices. Having drunk up all the spiritous matter and smoked up all the air in Waghorn"s, the only feasible vice left to them is the laying of wagers. Coins brought hither this morning for the honest purpose of bribing legislators, are being put to base uses.When I began writing this letter, they were laying odds on whether Bolingbroke would achieve his paramount goal, which is to induce the Privy Council to call for a Trial of the Pyx. But the sc.r.a.ps of paper and s.n.a.t.c.hes of gossip percolating out of Lords seem to say that things are not going Bolingbroke"s way. His very survival may be at stake; the Pyx gambit, though excellent, may have to be set aside, for now, so that he may ma.s.s all his efforts on reb.u.t.tal of the Asiento allegations. Those who gambled on a Pyx trial an hour ago, have given up as lost whatever money they staked then, and are now trying to recoup their losses by betting that Her Britannic Majesty will prorogue Parliament simply to save her Secretary of State from going down-and perhaps taking the South Sea Company with him.The doors to Lords have been opened. I shall close for now and continue when I can. A lot of money is changing hands. Lostwithiel is approaching.I am writing this on my lap, sitting on the edge of the Thames embankment, legs adangle above the flow. I am, I should estimate, the ninety-fifth in a queue of a hundred, waiting for watermen at Westminster Stairs. The other ninety-nine regard me with scorn for my boyish posture; but as the eldest man in the queue I have certain perquisities, viz. I may sit down.The reason I am so far back in the queue is that I stayed late at Waghorn"s to chat with the Earl of Lostwithiel and with Mr. Threader, who irrupted upon us and would not be moved away. He noted, more than once, that by barging in upon us he was effecting a small re-union of three who were together in Devon in January. Indeed, it was there that I first drew Mr. Threader"s notice by endorsing Lostwithiel"s venture, the Proprietors of the Engine for Raising Water by Fire, and causing a small run on Mr. Threader"s stock of capital, as several of his clients were (improbable as this must seem) moved by my discourse to invest. This was but the first disturbance I caused in Mr. Threader"s well-regulated and steady life. Since then there have been explosions, arguments about politics, letters from the Tsar, and diverse other novelties: making me into a persistent and alarming presence in his life.My relationship with the Silver Comstocks is ancient, and ambiguous in the extreme; but recent generations have seen fit to denominate me a friend of the family. So hereinafter I shall refer to my lord the Earl of Lostwithiel as Will Comstock. Will confirmed what was already implied by the settlement of diverse wagers all round us, namely, that the day had gone badly for Bolingbroke and the Tories. The Marquis of Ravenscar has-by dint of plots, maneuvers, and skirmishes too diverse and far-fetched for my tired brain to hold or my cramped hand to write down-literally called the Secretary of the South Sea Company on the carpet. The call went out (sensationally) a week ago. It was answered a few hours ago, when the said Secretary appeared before the bar in Commons, and presented a book-a compendium of all the Company"s doc.u.ments relating to the Asiento. The Tories regard this book as a lit granadoe, the Whigs as a golden apple, and it has moved back and forth between Commons and Lords this afternoon as the factions have exhausted all resources to put it where it can deal the most or the least damage. Important men have been reading from it aloud. It contains nothing to explain or excuse the disappearance of the slave-trade revenues. This shifts the burden of culpability to Bolingbroke, who was never viewed as an honest chap to begin with-even by his admirers.Note that only yesterday Commons voted to post 100,000 as a reward to anyone who apprehends the Pretender should he dare to set foot on British soil. So the tide, which was running strongly in Bolingbroke"s favor a fortnight ago, has quite reversed.Thus news. I confess I did not attend closely to young Will during his narration, so fascinated was I by the phizz of Mr. Threader. As a rule there is nothing to see in his face; but today it was a fascinating study in warring pa.s.sions, such as no van Dyck could have rendered. As a Tory, Mr. Threader is troubled to see the Tories back on their heels, and as a money-scrivener he is horrified by the public airing of the South Sea Company"s soiled bedsheets. And yet, when Will told us that a Trial of the Pyx had been postponed indefinitely, it was impossible not to perceive relief, even elation, upon Mr. Threader"s face. He has lately been coming by at all hours, or mailing me curious, hastily written notes, concerning the investigation of the coinage that has been set afoot by Bolingbroke. H.B.M."s Sec"y of State pursues this (as everyone knows) to discredit the Whigs; yet it causes Mr. Threader the most intense anxiety. When Will let it be known that the Pyx would be unmolested for at least two months, Mr. Threader"s face was suddenly illuminated from within, like a Jack-o"-lantern receiving its candle. He excused himself and lit out for the City.Will and I both marked this. But Will is better bred than I, and does not like to gossip about others behind their backs. So he changed the subject, or rather deflected it, with a wry remark: "Mr. Threader"s worries about the direction of the markets would be as nothing if the d.u.c.h.ess of Qwghlm got her hands round his neck." I inquired as to why Eliza would wish to strangle an old money-scrivener. Will replied that he and Eliza had met recently to discuss the Prop. of the Eng. for R.W. by F. Will had mentioned in pa.s.sing that Engines were, in certain applications, an alternative to Slavery-and thereby triggered a spate of ranting from the d.u.c.h.ess as to the evils of that Inst.i.tution, of the So. Sea Co., and all who like Mr. Threader credit its loathsome Equity. I had been chary of over-stressing this during my talks with Eliza, for fear that I would seem to manipulate her well-known pa.s.sions on this subject, however it was clear from Will"s account that she has been pondering it. The recent turning of the tide against the So. Sea Co. may give comfort to Eliza that to invest in the P.E.R.W.F. is not only Shrewd but Righteous. At any rate, Will seemed to say, by a well-timed wink, that such an investment is now in the works. He then changed subject again, inquiring as to the progress of the Logic Mill, and expressing polite curiosity about the same. I let him know that, just as a printer sends proof-sheets to his client, we were making ready to ship a sample of our golden cards to our investor in the east. True to form, I did not fail to mention that we would benefit from certain financial expediencies. Will seemed to expect this; he allowed that he might be the bearer of some news concerning it, and handed me a sealed message from Eliza. Then he drained his coffee-cup and most courteously excused himself.As I glance downriver I see a flotilla of watermen"s boats approaching, drawn hither by the comely spectacle of a long queue of fuming Quality stamping their spurs in frustration. So I shall conclude directly. I opened Eliza"s message. Out of it fell a smaller piece of paper. The message describes Will-grudgingly-as "a good Tory" and "worth knowing" and states that she and he have arrived at an agreement. This by itself would have been enough to improve improve my day considerably; but it was my day considerably; but it was perfected perfected by the smaller doc.u.ment, which was a goldsmith"s note, drawn on the House of Hacklheber, and made out to your humble correspondent. There is enough here to support the operations of Clerkenwell Court for a week, and I flatter myself that she will see fit to provide another installment when it has been spent. We should have three card-punching organs installed at Bridewell within a fortnight; Hannah Spates is already training the women to make them work. by the smaller doc.u.ment, which was a goldsmith"s note, drawn on the House of Hacklheber, and made out to your humble correspondent. There is enough here to support the operations of Clerkenwell Court for a week, and I flatter myself that she will see fit to provide another installment when it has been spent. We should have three card-punching organs installed at Bridewell within a fortnight; Hannah Spates is already training the women to make them work.The queue is coming to life, like a torpid snake warmed by the sun; I close for now; an errand of a rather different nature awaits me.Another d.a.m.ned coffee-house environs me-this time, it is in Warwick Court, behind the Old Bailey, and hard by the College of Physicians. I am surrounded half by barristers and half by Physicians, and cannot say which group I like less. Were I in legal trouble or sick or both I should of course change my tune.When I reached the head of that queue I was complaining of, I took a water taxi to Black Friars Stairs, and thence a sedan chair up to the Old Bailey. It was even more crowded than the Houses of Parliament, for the Court of Sessions had been at work there for much of the day, and had just adjourned. I looked about until I saw a man who stood head and shoulders above the crowd. When I made my way over to him I discovered, as usual, Mr. Kikin, somewhere down about his midsection. He let it be known, by the look on his face, that I was late. After a curt exchange of greetings he turned his back on me and marched into the court-yard where the accused and their supporters and detractors mill about under the open sky, shelterless against rain and judicial wrath. In this he was working upstream against the flow of that Mobb who had come to mourn or to cheer the decisions of the magistrates. But he used his bodyguard to good effect, as a sort of human ram. Had he not been so precipitious I"d have counseled him to wait for the crowd to disperse, and the air to clear. By venturing in among them thus he was exposing himself to the gaol-fever, which is easily spread from the sheeppen where the prisoners are kept, to the spectators, and thence out into the streets of London. But it was too late. I was on the horns of a dilemma: follow Kikin and risk the pestilence, or stay behind, alone, to be enveloped by a Mobb of persons no less dangerous than the convicted who were even now being herded off to their fates. I followed Kikin, not without some buffeting in that bottle-neck that leads into the court-yard from the street.Once we had debouched into the yard, the crowding abated, and I breathed a little freer. Weather has been dry of late, so it was more dusty than muddy. The brazier in which the branding-irons are kept at the ready was still glowing, and spinning up a plume of sharply scented coal-smoke, which I phant"sied might cleanse the air of whatever miasma causes the gaol-fever. I stood near it, reading the red-hot letters of iron strewn about in the coals, viz. V for Vagabond, T for Thief, &c., and keeping an eye on Mr. Kikin to see where he would alight. The magistrates, clerks, &c., had already abandoned the high covered veranda from which justice is dispensed. Most of the spectators, as I have mentioned, had already departed. Those who remained had all gravitated to the wooden walls of the pens where the men and women prisoners are kept. They were reaching over the barriers to pa.s.s purses of coins, loaves of bread, apples, &c., to their friends, children, wives, and husbands on the other side, who raked in these prizes with fettered and scabrous hands. The bailiffs were of course herding all of the prisoners towards the Ja.n.u.s Gate. They made no move to interfere with the transactions I have just described, well knowing that most of the money being handed over in those shabby little purses would presently be in their own pockets. Of course, material goods were not all that pa.s.sed over that barricade; there were kisses, hand-clasps, weeping, wailing, and declarations of love aeternal, particularly in the cases of the ones who"d just been given tickets to Tyburn. But I will elide these, on a pretext that they are not germane. In truth, it is too pathetic for words.Standing at the northeast extremity of the yard, round the pillars of the Ja.n.u.s Gate, were several men who did not weep, wail, or proffer coin-purses. They only stood, backs to the gate, facing the flow of prisoners, and watched. It was a wonder to see them. From their postures you might identify them from a distance as mere idlers. But as I approached-following Mr. Kikin-I noted that these men wore curious expressions on their phizzes: each was as intent as a cat in the instant before it pounces upon an unsuspecting bird. These men were not idling, but working, working, practicing their profession with as full attention as the late Mr. Hooke when he would peer through his microscope at a swarm of animalcules. Some of the prisoners pa.s.sing through the Ja.n.u.s Gate were oblivious; their faces were scanned and committed to memory. Others, wiser in the ways of the flash world, recognized these loiterers as thief-takers, and hid their faces behind their sleeves, or even walked backwards until they had pa.s.sed safely through the gate. Some of the thief-takers stooped to childish but effective tricks, as calling out names: "John! Bob! Tom!" which made certain prisoners turn their way, the better for their faces to be inspected and their moles, scars, missing teeth, &c., to be memorized. practicing their profession with as full attention as the late Mr. Hooke when he would peer through his microscope at a swarm of animalcules. Some of the prisoners pa.s.sing through the Ja.n.u.s Gate were oblivious; their faces were scanned and committed to memory. Others, wiser in the ways of the flash world, recognized these loiterers as thief-takers, and hid their faces behind their sleeves, or even walked backwards until they had pa.s.sed safely through the gate. Some of the thief-takers stooped to childish but effective tricks, as calling out names: "John! Bob! Tom!" which made certain prisoners turn their way, the better for their faces to be inspected and their moles, scars, missing teeth, &c., to be memorized.The only prisoners who are of no interest to the thief-takers are those who"ve just been condemned to Tyburn. The others stand a fair chance to get out of Newgate alive, and to return to their former ways and dwelling-places. Once a thief-taker has committed such a man"s face to memory, he is liable to be re-arrested and prosecuted at any moment. It makes little difference whether he has in truth committed a crime; the Court wants a culprit, and the thief-taker wants reward-money.Sean Partry was conspicuous, among thief-takers, by his age (I should estimate he is in his middle fifties) and by a bearing-I am tempted to call it dignity-wanting in the others. He has a good head of hair, only a bit thin on top, blond going gray, and sea-green eyes. He has an excellently carved set of teeth, but displays them rarely. He has a trim figure-unusual in a profession that consists largely of loitering round taverns-but any illusion that he is especially fit is dispelled when he begins to move, for he is a little bit halt and a little bit lame, stiff in the joints, and given to frequent sighs and grimaces that hint at pains internal.Partry would on no account look us in the eye, or pay us any heed whatever, until the last of the prisoners had been herded through the gate. Then he began to interrogate us rather brusquely, wanting to know who we were, whom we represented, and why we desired to know so many things about Jack the Coiner. He was indifferent, and almost hostile, until we began to give substantive answers to his questions. Then he showed us more favor, and even consented to let Mr. Kikin buy him a drink at a public house down the way. He seemed well-informed as to politics, showing interest in my relation of the day"s events at Westminster.I told the story of the explosion in Crane Court, and listed the names of those who might have been its intended victim: Mr. Threader, Sir Isaac, Henry Arlanc, and your humble correspondent. Partry made some small remark about each, guessing rightly that Arlanc was a Huguenot name, and showing genuine curiosity about Newton. This is not so remarkable, as Newton has had many occasions to treat with thief-takers in catching and prosecuting coiners, and for all I know, might even have lined Partry"s own pocket with some reward-money. He showed rather less interest in Mr. Kikin"s account of the burning of the Russian ship at Rotherhithe. Partry is of the view that the latter event was a job that Jack was paid to do by Swedish or other foreign agents, and as such, offers little insight into Jack"s motives. That Partry has bothered to consider this matter at all, and has already formed views on it, gave me a favorable character of the man. Kikin seemed to agree. We asked Partry whether he thought he might be of service to us, and he allowed as how he might; but not terribly soon. "My methods are my methods," he announced, by way of explaining that he would not be able to offer us any news until Friday, the 30th of July, or shortly before it. Kikin was dismayed. Partry reminded him that it would probably take that long anyway to negotiate a fee. Then he departed.My conversation with Mr. Kikin now went into a few minutes" recess, as he does not like to stay in any one place for more than a few minutes. We paid our bill and wandered round a few corners to the coffee-house where I now sit writing these words. Kikin was nonplussed by the way Partry had moved from the vague vague a.s.sertion that it would take a long time, to the a.s.sertion that it would take a long time, to the specific specific one that it would happen on the thirtieth of July. I treated it as a riddle, asking the addled Russian, could he not think of any event on that day that would explain Mr. Partry"s confidence. one that it would happen on the thirtieth of July. I treated it as a riddle, asking the addled Russian, could he not think of any event on that day that would explain Mr. Partry"s confidence.In the end Kikin resorted to pulling out the little waste-book where he writes down his social engagements. Flipping forward to 30 July, he found a page that was blank, save for one notation: HANGINGS. Meaning that the next Hanging-March to Tyburn was to be on that day, and so he had avoided making any appointments, knowing how difficult it would be to move through the Mobb-choked streets."Several men have lately been found guilty of coining," I explained. "On the thirtieth they shall be taken to Tyburn to be half-hanged, drawn, and quartered. Such men, being coiners, may have information about Jack. Being as they are afraid of Jack, they"ll not let a word slip for the time being. But as the thirtieth of the month looms nearer, fear of Jack Ketch will grow to out-weigh fear of Jack Shaftoe. In those last few days, they may be persuaded, by one such as Sean Partry, to tell what they know concerning Jack, in exchange for lenient treatment at the Fatal Tree.""You mean Partry can arrange a pardon!?" demanded Kikin, who was ready to be scandalized by our judicial laxity."No. But if we supply money to Partry, he may pa.s.s some of it on to Jack Ketch, who will then see to it that the prisoner in question receives a quick hanging-a neck-snapper instead of a slow strangler-so that he"ll not be alive to know he is being disembowelled.""This is a strange country," Kikin observed. I could say nothing. Kikin observed. I could say nothing.Kikin is aghast that it will take so long to get answers. I believe he has made a mental calculation of how long it might take for the Russian galley, presently at Orney"s Ship-yard in Rotherhithe, to get back to St. Petersburg, and then to return to London bringing some furious Russian count empowered to sack Mr. Kikin and bring him home in chains.I let him know that I had a package of golden cards ready to ship out on that galley, which is supposed to depart very soon. This cheered him up, and he resolved to go to Clerkenwell Court that very instant to collect the plates. He is gone now, and I await here a trusted messenger who will bear the d.u.c.h.ess of Qwghlm"s goldsmith"s note to my banker in the City, William Ham. I am left, a strange man in a strange country strange country, wondering how I got here, and what shall befall me next.Your humble and obedient servant, Daniel Waterhouse Daniel Waterhouse
Westminster Palace 9 JULY 1714.
A Message from the Lords, by Mr. Holford Holford and Mr. and Mr. Lovibond: Lovibond:Mr. Speaker,We are commanded by the Lords to acquaint this House, That they, having this Day under their Examination Matters relating to the South Sea South Sea Company, which are of great Consequence to the Trade of this Kingdom, do desire that this House will give Leave to such Members of this House as are of the Committee of the Company, which are of great Consequence to the Trade of this Kingdom, do desire that this House will give Leave to such Members of this House as are of the Committee of the South Sea South Sea Company for the Company for the a.s.siento a.s.siento; and William Lowndes William Lowndes Esquire; may have Leave to attend the House of Lords this Day. Esquire; may have Leave to attend the House of Lords this Day.And then the Messengers withdrewResolved, That this House doth give Leave to such Members...to go to the House of Lords, if they think fit. That this House doth give Leave to such Members...to go to the House of Lords, if they think fit.And the Messengers were called in again, and Mr. Speaker acquainted them therewith.Jovis, 8 8 die Julii; die Julii;Anno 13 Annae Reginae, 1714 Ordered, Ordered, That a Message be sent to the Lords, to desire, That they will direct the Painted Chamber, the Lobby, and the Pa.s.sage to the House of Peers, to be cleared from any Crowd, when this House shall come up thither, by her Majesty"s Command, to attend her Majesty. That a Message be sent to the Lords, to desire, That they will direct the Painted Chamber, the Lobby, and the Pa.s.sage to the House of Peers, to be cleared from any Crowd, when this House shall come up thither, by her Majesty"s Command, to attend her Majesty.Ordered, That Mr. Campion do carry the said Message. That Mr. Campion do carry the said Message.Ordered, That the Serjeant at Arms attending this House do clear the Lobby of this House, and Pa.s.sage leading to the Painted Chamber, from the Persons therein, for the better Pa.s.sage of this House to the House of Peers... That the Serjeant at Arms attending this House do clear the Lobby of this House, and Pa.s.sage leading to the Painted Chamber, from the Persons therein, for the better Pa.s.sage of this House to the House of Peers...A Message from her Majesty, by Sir William Oldes, Gentleman Usher of the Black Rod: Mr. Speaker, Mr. Speaker,The Queen commands this honourable House to attend her Majesty in the House of Peers, immediately.Accordingly, Mr. Speaker, with the House, went up to attend her Majesty, in the House of Peers: Where her Majesty was pleased to give the Royal a.s.sent to several publick and private Bills:After which her Majesty was pleased to make a most gracious Speech to both Houses of Parliament:And afterwards the Lord High Chancellor of Great Britain, Great Britain, by her Majesty"s Command, said by her Majesty"s Command, saidIt is her Majesty"s Royal Will and Pleasure, That this Parliament be prorogued to Tuesday Tuesday the Tenth Day of the Tenth Day of August August next: And this Parliament is accordingly prorogued to next: And this Parliament is accordingly prorogued to Tuesday Tuesday the Tenth Day of the Tenth Day of August August next. next.Veneris, 9 9 die Julii; die Julii; Anno 13 Annae Reginae, 1714 Anno 13 Annae Reginae, 1714 A PAIR OF PAIR OF R RAVENSCAR"S strangely brawny aides had knocked Daniel up at Crane Court this morning, and bundled him into a sedan chair with such urgency that he could not discern whether he was being strangely brawny aides had knocked Daniel up at Crane Court this morning, and bundled him into a sedan chair with such urgency that he could not discern whether he was being summoned summoned or or abducted abducted. Encased in this box like a desiccated Specimen-a curious relic of the Cromwellian Epoch-he had been delivered up to Westminster"s Old Palace Yard, and ejected in front of Waghorn"s. A chap with a keen ear, if he"d sidled up close to Daniel about then, could have heard him muttering diverse outrageous calumnies and execrations against the Marquis of Ravenscar. For Daniel had been quite content at Crane Court with his pot of tea, one of Mrs. Arlanc"s pastries, and a stack of vile newspapers. This This place was dirty, crowded, and riotous. Not with the merry riotousness of Hockley-in-the-Hole on the eve of a Hanging-Day, but the snitty, b.i.t.c.hy sort practiced by men who were animated by the same base pa.s.sions but who had too much to lose by giving them free rein. Everyone was in a hurry save Daniel. Most were in a hurry to get inside. They hustled along at cross-purposes to a small but troublesome moiety who were trying to move laterally between Commons and Lords, using the Old Palace Yard as a short-cut to circ.u.mvent the galleries and chambers within-which, it could be inferred, were too crowded to permit movement. There were scattered outbreaks of courtesy. But the third time Daniel saw some outraged second-rate hanger-on reach, in a theatrical manner, for his sword, he concluded that the place was not merely unpleasant but dangerous. He turned on his heel and began to walk away. Once he broke free of the crowd he could be at the Kit-Cat Clubb in half an hour...but then this lovely phant"sy was shivered by the words: "Dr. Waterhouse! I feared I should never reach you! If you"d care to follow me, we have saved a place for you at Waghorn"s." place was dirty, crowded, and riotous. Not with the merry riotousness of Hockley-in-the-Hole on the eve of a Hanging-Day, but the snitty, b.i.t.c.hy sort practiced by men who were animated by the same base pa.s.sions but who had too much to lose by giving them free rein. Everyone was in a hurry save Daniel. Most were in a hurry to get inside. They hustled along at cross-purposes to a small but troublesome moiety who were trying to move laterally between Commons and Lords, using the Old Palace Yard as a short-cut to circ.u.mvent the galleries and chambers within-which, it could be inferred, were too crowded to permit movement. There were scattered outbreaks of courtesy. But the third time Daniel saw some outraged second-rate hanger-on reach, in a theatrical manner, for his sword, he concluded that the place was not merely unpleasant but dangerous. He turned on his heel and began to walk away. Once he broke free of the crowd he could be at the Kit-Cat Clubb in half an hour...but then this lovely phant"sy was shivered by the words: "Dr. Waterhouse! I feared I should never reach you! If you"d care to follow me, we have saved a place for you at Waghorn"s."
Daniel knew the voice. He had forgotten the name; but no matter, the chap"s hairstyle was extremely memorable. He turned around expecting to see a young man coiffed as a Mohawk warrior. Alas, all he could make out were a lot of blokes in white periwigs. But one of them was staring right at him. If the wig were mentally subtracted, and the Mohawk added, the result was one of those young Whig gallants who were always prancing around on Roger-errands. Today"s errand: rescue the doddering Doctor, frogmarch him into the Palace.
In Waghorn"s, he sipped coffee and held a newspaper in front of his face, partly to read it, and partly as a barrier to conversation-for what he most dreaded was that the Mohawk had also been charged with keeping him company. Parliamentary babble surged and crashed about him like waves on rocks. They talked of everything save what was really really going on. Mostly it was the Acts and Bills that had clogged their registers in recent weeks: Preventing the Growth of Schism (Bolingbroke"s pet bill), Finding the Longitude (Roger"s), the perennial issues of Woollen Manufacture, Quieting Corporations, endless Inclosures, and diverse Divorces, contested estates, and Insolvent Debtors; and what had come to be known as the Six R"s: Raising the Militia, Running Brandy, Reducing Interest, Revenues of Scotch Bishops, Restraining the Growth of Popery, and (awkwardly) laws Relating to Vagrants. It was all hogwash. Either that, or they were speaking in a subst.i.tution code wherein every Act mentioned was a veiled reference to its sponsor. going on. Mostly it was the Acts and Bills that had clogged their registers in recent weeks: Preventing the Growth of Schism (Bolingbroke"s pet bill), Finding the Longitude (Roger"s), the perennial issues of Woollen Manufacture, Quieting Corporations, endless Inclosures, and diverse Divorces, contested estates, and Insolvent Debtors; and what had come to be known as the Six R"s: Raising the Militia, Running Brandy, Reducing Interest, Revenues of Scotch Bishops, Restraining the Growth of Popery, and (awkwardly) laws Relating to Vagrants. It was all hogwash. Either that, or they were speaking in a subst.i.tution code wherein every Act mentioned was a veiled reference to its sponsor.
The smoke and babble became too much for him at about the same time that his bladder-never his strongest organ-began to complain of all the coffee. He dropped the paper to discover that his Mohawk had vanished on some other errand-perhaps called away to a raiding-party on the upper Hudson River. So Daniel went out and found a place he could urinate (which actually was easier than finding a place he couldn"t couldn"t) and then took to strolling up and down the Painted Chamber and the Long Gallery. Consequently, he was swept up in the portentous series of room-clearings and gallery-evacuations ordered by Commons. Indeed, he was on the verge of being flushed clean off the Palace grounds when a different Mohawk found him, and escorted him, via circuitous back-pa.s.sages, closets, and committee-rooms, into the House of Lords itself, and encouraged him to stand in Ravenscar"s cheering-section, and to act as if he belonged there.
This gave Daniel over to grave forebodings. He had seen Charles I"s head spurt and roll. He had attended Charles II almost to the moment of his death, fighting a bitter rear-guard action to keep the royal physicians at bay. He had watched, and been tempted to take part in, a tavern brawl that bloodied James II"s nose, and more or less signalled the end of his reign. Quite prudently, he had absented himself from the country during the deaths of William and of Mary. But now he was back, and they were bringing the Queen to him. If she chose this time and place to give up the ghost, would every wigged head in the room turn and look at him him? Would they tear him limb from limb on the spot, or ship him downriver for a proper beheading at the Tower? Would it come out that he had lately been riding round town in a carriage with a certain foreign Princess who was here incognito incognito and uninvited? and uninvited?
These and other broodings so preoccupied him that he scarce noted a sudden silence, and the entry into the House of a rather gaudy sedan chair. He (and, admittedly, as many others as could be packed into the room) was in the Presence! "Twas a Historick Moment! Or, at least, the sort of moment so apt to be writ down in History-Books. Yet despite this-or perhaps because of it-Daniel was afflicted by a maddening inability to attend attend to it. His own broodings were of greater interest-a sign of unforgivable arrogance? to it. His own broodings were of greater interest-a sign of unforgivable arrogance?
Other men seemed to"ve been blessed with the ability to live in the moment, and to have experiences (Daniel imagined) in the raw vivid way that animals did. But not he. How would the ceremony, the pageantry of the Queen"s visit to Parliament look, to one who could see them thus? Colorful, magnificent, mesmerizing, Daniel supposed. He"d never know. Daniel could only see this as a sick old lady paying a call on a room full of anxious blokes who hadn"t bathed in a while.
The Kit-Cat Clubb AN HOUR LATER.
ISAAC N NEWTON MUST THINK every room silent, for every room went silent when he walked into it. Even every room silent, for every room went silent when he walked into it. Even this this one! one!
Daniel had recovered from the strange absence of mind that had troubled him during the Queen"s address to Parliament. He was fully engaged in the moment. It must have had something to do with that here he could drink chocolate. Moreover, he could move about, talk to people, and attend to what he he found interesting. Until Isaac hushed the place by walking in, this had been the spectacle of Roger-holding court at his favorite table-receiving the thanks, in the form of bad poetry, and the congratulations, in the form of expensive gifts, of Great Britain, one Briton at a time. Because this was the Kit-Cat Clubb, all of these encomia had to be delivered in verse: pithy epigrams if Roger were lucky, rambling trains of heroic couplets otherwise. One of the formal constraints observed in the Kit-Cat school of doggerel was that no one could be referred to by name. Cla.s.sical allusions were found interesting. Until Isaac hushed the place by walking in, this had been the spectacle of Roger-holding court at his favorite table-receiving the thanks, in the form of bad poetry, and the congratulations, in the form of expensive gifts, of Great Britain, one Briton at a time. Because this was the Kit-Cat Clubb, all of these encomia had to be delivered in verse: pithy epigrams if Roger were lucky, rambling trains of heroic couplets otherwise. One of the formal constraints observed in the Kit-Cat school of doggerel was that no one could be referred to by name. Cla.s.sical allusions were de rigueur de rigueur. Roger was almost always Vulcan.
Thus some viscount or other: Vulcan * * in his smoaky Forge in his smoaky Forge did smite did smite of Gold bright Bolts of Gold bright Bolts to fortify his Better to fortify his Better And, lest the Captives of the G.o.ds take Flight, And, lest the Captives of the G.o.ds take Flight, t.i.tanic manacles and Olympian Fetters. t.i.tanic manacles and Olympian Fetters. Prometheus Prometheus ** ** who unwisely played with Fire who unwisely played with Fire Is bolted to a crag now all Alone Is bolted to a crag now all Alone When Juno When Juno did incite young Vulcan"s ire did incite young Vulcan"s ire His clever hand"work chained her to her Throne His clever hand"work chained her to her Throne This particular Viscount, as everyone understood, could never have crafted such lines himself. He was accompanied by one of the young poets who loitered about the Clubb tossing off epigrams in exchange for pies and wine. Sir Isaac Newton broke in upon the touching exchange and began speaking to Roger. He had not gotten out of bed for a fortnight after his bludgeoning in Star Chamber, but he was now walking about as spry as a twenty-year-old scholar gamboling on the banks of the Cam. He was completely unaware that he was jumping to the head of a snaking and redoubling queue of men who out-ranked him. Daniel had made slower head-way through the revelers because, unlike Isaac, he bothered to excuse himself as he went. So he could not hear Isaac"s words at first. But he knew that Isaac must have been drawn hither by the news, and that he must be congratulating Roger on having so so backed Bolingbroke into a corner that he had been forced to call for Mummy to come and rescue him. Substantial men, one after another, had been saying as much to Roger for hours now, and he had been receiving each plaudit with a nod so perfunctory it had dwindled to a vestigial tic. And yet when Isaac Newton said much the same sort of thing to him, Ravenscar took it with (if a play on words could be permitted) the utmost backed Bolingbroke into a corner that he had been forced to call for Mummy to come and rescue him. Substantial men, one after another, had been saying as much to Roger for hours now, and he had been receiving each plaudit with a nod so perfunctory it had dwindled to a vestigial tic. And yet when Isaac Newton said much the same sort of thing to him, Ravenscar took it with (if a play on words could be permitted) the utmost gravity gravity. As if other other men went about congratulating people almost at men went about congratulating people almost at random, random, but but Newton Newton really really meant meant it. Perhaps it helped that he was speaking in prose. it. Perhaps it helped that he was speaking in prose.
Daniel had thought that Roger seemed a bit distracted, even melancholy, as he"d sat there receiving the adulatory versifications of Whigdom. And Daniel thought he knew why. Roger loved the counterattack. He"d spent the last month readying one, but now it was spent. He was in the position of a pistol-duellist who has discharged his weapon, and now stands defenseless, not knowing whether the foe is wounded mortally; merely dazed; or relishing the power to blow his brains out. He needed to be readying himself for Bolingbroke"s riposte; riposte; instead he had to sit here and listen to bad poetry. instead he had to sit here and listen to bad poetry.
Roger took Isaac companionably by the arm and led him toward Daniel. By way of excusing himself he shouted: "Gentlemen-a moment, if you please-I have heard that the Queen to-day hath given the Royal a.s.sent to the posting of a reward for him who finds out the Longitude!" He was feigning amazement at this turn of events. "And it is rumored that Sir Isaac knows something about it.
"If you would hope to find the Longitude, "Find Newton first-and give him Food!"
Roger improvised, to light applause and heavy drinking. "Mr. Cat! If you would! Mutton-pies, please."
But by the time Daniel effected his rendezvous with Roger and Isaac, they had moved on to altogether different topics. "You are looking in the pink-splendid!-does this mean I shall get Catherine back? My household has gone to ruin since its Mistress went off to nurse her nuncle."
"Indeed, my lord, she has already gone back to resume her duties," Newton returned, bored, and a bit uneasy, with this subject.
"The house will be glowing glowing in a few days, if she tends to it as well as she has to in a few days, if she tends to it as well as she has to you you."
"She has done well by her uncle," Newton allowed, "but in truth, the recent news from Westminster, and the prospect that Bolingbroke would be baffled, and a Trial of the Pyx put off indefinitely, were the physic that cured me."
"Then do you and Dr. Waterhouse carpe diem carpe diem and place your new-found vigor in service of some well-wrought plan of attack," Roger suggested, "for Parliament is only prorogued until the tenth of August, and that is more than enough time for such as Bolingbroke to dig a counter-counter-mine, and blow us all up to the sky." and place your new-found vigor in service of some well-wrought plan of attack," Roger suggested, "for Parliament is only prorogued until the tenth of August, and that is more than enough time for such as Bolingbroke to dig a counter-counter-mine, and blow us all up to the sky."
"Dr. Waterhouse and I are accustomed to people attempting to blow us up," Newton returned. It was hard to make out whether this was a dry witticism or a clinical observation. Isaac startled Daniel, now, by looking him dead in the eye. "It is good that you are here. I wish to speak to you."
"Then with your indulgence I shall withdraw," Roger said, "that the two of you may speak. Please, speak of weighty matters, and keep your discourse to the matter at hand-for there is no more potent weapon for the Jacobites than to make the City, the Country, and the Mobb believe that the Whigs-and by extension the Hanovers-have secretly debased the coinage to make themselves rich!"
This was an awfully blunt thing to say to the Master of the Mint. Newton was shocked, which had probably been Roger"s intention. Roger hovered just long enough to be certain that Newton was not going to collapse twitching on the floor. But instead Newton just glared at him. Daniel caught Roger"s eye and threw him a wink. For Daniel had seen Isaac in this mood many times before, and it usually meant that he was going to work for forty-eight hours at a stretch until some problem or other was solved. Roger bowed and withdrew-depositing the whole burden on the shoulders of Daniel, who could already feel himself sagging.
"WE MUST HUNT DOWN J JACK the Coiner, clap him in irons, and force him to testify that he adulterated a Pyx that, until he put his filthy hands into it, was filled with sound coins," said Sir Isaac Newton. He and Daniel had found a table in the corner. "What would be even better than his testimony, we might compel him to yield up any good guineas that he might have stolen from the Pyx, which would exonerate me beyond even the powers of Jesuits." the Coiner, clap him in irons, and force him to testify that he adulterated a Pyx that, until he put his filthy hands into it, was filled with sound coins," said Sir Isaac Newton. He and Daniel had found a table in the corner. "What would be even better than his testimony, we might compel him to yield up any good guineas that he might have stolen from the Pyx, which would exonerate me beyond even the powers of Jesuits."
"If that is your wish, Isaac, I am pleased to let you know that the pursuit of Jack has been underway for some months, and that it is being pressed forward by-"
"Your Clubb-yes, I know about your Clubb," Isaac said. "I shall require membership."
"The bylaws require a vote on such matters," Daniel said.
This was a jest. Isaac in this mood was not very receptive to it. "It should not be an obstacle. I propose, in effect, to merge the Mint"s investigation of coiners with your Clubb"s pursuit of those who wrought the Infernal Devices, since we have abundant reasons to believe that they are the same. The advantages to the Clubb are obvious."
"Then let us antic.i.p.ate the Clubb"s vote, and act as if you were already a member in good standing," Daniel said, placing both palms flat on the tabletop, and pressing himself up to his feet. Isaac rose, too. The mutton pies were coming toward them on a silver platter; Daniel redirected the waiter to an exit.
"The timing is felicitous," Daniel continued. "Haply, I have become aware of an important witness who wishes to have an interview with me."
Isaac was already in movement toward the exit. "I have hired a carriage for the day," he threw back over one shoulder. "Where shall I tell the driver we wish to go?"
"Tell him," Daniel returned, "that we are going to Bedlam."
The Carriage MINUTES LATER.
"...AND SO WE HAVE MADE an arrangement with Mr. Partry-but not disbursed any money to him, of course-nor do we expect to, until the end of this month," Daniel said. He"d given Isaac an account of the Clubb"s late doings, mercilessly abbreviated because of the aroma of the mutton pies, which were waiting on a platter in his lap. The platter was a twenty-pound slab of silver done up in full Barock style and engraved with miles of tangled script: a paean to the s.e.xual powers of Newton"s niece. Here she was referred to as Aphrodite, a code that Isaac was not likely to penetrate. an arrangement with Mr. Partry-but not disbursed any money to him, of course-nor do we expect to, until the end of this month," Daniel said. He"d given Isaac an account of the Clubb"s late doings, mercilessly abbreviated because of the aroma of the mutton pies, which were waiting on a platter in his lap. The platter was a twenty-pound slab of silver done up in full Barock style and engraved with miles of tangled script: a paean to the s.e.xual powers of Newton"s niece. Here she was referred to as Aphrodite, a code that Isaac was not likely to penetrate.
In an apt demonstration of the principle of Relativity, as propounded by Galileo, the bawdy platter, and the steaming morsels thereon, remained in the same position vis-a-vis Daniel, and hence were, in principle, just as edible, as if he had been seated before, and the pies had been resting upon, a table that was stationary with respect to the fixed stars. This was true despite the fact that the carriage containing Daniel, Isaac Newton, and the pies was banging around London. Daniel guessed that they were swinging round the northern limb of St. Paul"s Churchyard, but he had no real way of telling; he had closed the window-shutters, for the reason that their journey to Bedlam would take them directly across the maw of Grub Street, and he did not want to read about today"s adventure in all tomorrow"s papers.
Isaac, though better equipped than Daniel or any other man alive to understand Relativity, shewed no interest in his pie-as if being in a state of movement with respect to the planet Earth rendered it somehow Not a Pie. But as far as Daniel was concerned, a pie in a moving frame of reference was no less a pie than one that was sitting still: position and velocity, to him, might be perfectly interesting physical properties, but they had no bearing on, no relationship to those properties that were essential essential to pie-ness. All that mattered to Daniel were relationships between his, Daniel"s, physical state and that of the pie. If Daniel and Pie were close together both in position and velocity, then pie-eating became a practical, and tempting, possibility. If Pie were far asunder from Daniel or moving at a large relative velocity-e.g., being hurled at his face-then its pie-ness was somehow impaired, at least from the Daniel frame of reference. For the time being, however, t