He set the tumbler in front of Piers and began to help himself.
Piers watched him for a couple of seconds longer, then leapt impulsively to his feet. "Oh, I"m going!" he said. "I was a fool to come!"
Crowther set down the decanter and straightened himself. He did not seem to move quickly, but he was at the door before Piers reached it.
He stood ma.s.sively before him, blocking the way. "You"ve behaved foolishly a good many times in your life, my lad," he said. "But I shouldn"t call you a fool. Why do you want me to go round the world with you? Tell me that!"
His tone was mild, but there was a certain grimness about him notwithstanding. He looked at Piers with a faint smile in his eyes that had in it a quality of resolution that made itself felt. Piers stood still before him, half-chafing, half-subdued.
"Tell me!" Crowther said again.
"Oh, what"s the good?" With a defiance that was oddly boyish Piers flung the question. "I see I"ve applied in the wrong quarter. Let me go!"
"I will not," Crowther said. Deliberately he raised a hand and pointed to the chair from which Piers had just sprung. "Sit down again, sonny, and we"ll talk."
Piers swung round with an impatient gesture and went to the window. He threw it wide, and the distant roar of traffic filled the quiet room like the breaking of the sea.
After a distinct pause Crowther followed him. They stood together gazing out over the dim wilderness of many roofs and chimneys to where the crude glare of an advertis.e.m.e.nt lit up the night sky.
Piers was absolutely motionless, but there was a species of violence in his very stillness, as of a trapped animal preparing to make a wild rush for freedom. His att.i.tude was feverishly tense.
Suddenly and very quietly Crowther"s hand came forth and linked itself in his arm. "What is it, lad?" he said.
Piers made a jerky movement as if to avoid the touch, but the hand closed slowly and steadily upon him. He turned abruptly and met Crowther"s eyes.
"Crowther," he said, "I"ve behaved like a cur. I--broke that promise I made to you."
He ground out the words savagely, between clenched teeth. Yet his look was defiant still. He held himself as a man defying shame.
Crowther"s eyes never varied. They looked straight back with a wide kindliness greater than compa.s.sion, wholly devoid of reproach.
"All right, Piers," he said simply.
Piers stared at him for a moment as one in blank amazement, then very strangely his face altered. The hardness went from it like a mask suddenly rent away. He made an inarticulate sound and turned from the open window.
A second later he was sunk in Crowther"s chair with his head in his hands, sobbing convulsively, painfully, uncontrollably, in an agony that tore like a living thing at the very foundations of his being.
A smaller man than Crowther might have been at a loss to deal with such distress, but Crowther was ready. He had seen men in extremities of suffering before. He knew how to ease a crushing burden. He sat down on the arm of the chair and thrust a strong hand over Piers" shoulder, saying no word.
Minutes pa.s.sed ere by sheer violence that bitter anguish wore itself out at last. There came a long, piteous silence, then Piers" hand feeling blindly upwards. Crowther"s grip encompa.s.sed it like a band of iron, but still for a s.p.a.ce no word was spoken.
Then haltingly Piers found his voice. "I"m sorry--beastly sorry--to have made such an a.s.s of myself. You"re jolly decent to me, Crowther."
To which Crowther made reply with a tenderness as simple as his own soul.
"You"re just a son to me, lad."
"A precious poor specimen!" muttered Piers.
He remained bowed for a while longer, then lifted at length a face of awful whiteness and leaned back upon Crowther"s arm, still fast holding to his hand.
"You know, you"re such an awfully good chap," he said, "that one gets into the way of taking you for granted. But I won"t encroach on your goodness much longer. You"re busy, what?" He smiled a quivering smile, and glanced momentarily towards the littered table.
"It will keep," said Crowther quietly.
"No, it won"t. Life isn"t long enough. On my soul, do you know it"s like coming into sanctuary to enter a place like this? I feel as if I"d shut my own particular devil on the other side of the door. But he"ll wait for me all right. We shan"t lose each other on that account."
He uttered a laugh that testified more to the utter weariness of his soul than its bitterness.
"Where are you staying?" said Crowther.
"At Marchmont"s. At least I"ve got a room there. I haven"t any definite plans at present."
"Unless you go round the world with me," said Crowther.
Piers" eyes travelled upwards sharply. "No, old chap. I didn"t mean it. I wouldn"t have you if you"d come. It was only a try-on, that."
"Some try-ons fit," said Crowther gravely. He turned towards the table, and reached for the drink he had prepared for Piers. "Look here, sonny!
Have a drink!"
Piers drank in silence, Crowther steadily watching.
"You would have to be back by March," he said presently.
"What?" said Piers.
It was like a protest, the involuntary startled outcry of the patient under the probe. Crowther"s hand grasped his more closely. "I"ll go with you on that understanding, Piers," he said. "You"ll be wanted then."
Piers groaned. "If it hadn"t been for--that," he said, "I"d have ended the whole business with a bullet before now."
"No, you wouldn"t," said Crowther quietly. "You don"t know yourself, boy, when you talk like that. You"ve given up Parliament for the present?"
"For good," said Piers. He paused, as if bracing himself for a great effort. "I went to Colonel Rose yesterday and told him I must withdraw.
He had heard the rumours of course, but he advised me to hold on. I told him--I told him--" Piers stopped and swallowed hard, then forced himself on,--"I told him there was truth in it, and then--he let me go."
There fell a painful silence, broken by Crowther. "How did this rumour get about?"
"Oh, that was at Ina Rose"s wedding." Piers" words came more freely now, as if the obstruction were pa.s.sed. "A cousin of Guyes", the bridegroom, was there. He came from Queensland, had been present that night when I fought and killed Denys, and he recognized me. Then--he got tight and told everybody who would listen. It was rotten luck, but it had to happen." He paused momentarily; then: "I wasn"t enjoying myself, Crowther, before it happened," he said.
"I saw that, sonny." Crowther"s arm pressed his shoulder in sympathy.
It was characteristic of the man to display understanding rather than pity. He stood ever on the same level with his friends, however low that level might be.
Again Piers looked at him as if puzzled by his att.i.tude. "You"ve done me a lot of good," he said abruptly. "You"ve made me see myself as you don"t see me, dear old fellow, and never would. Well, I"m going.
Thanks awfully!"
He made as if he would rise, but Crowther restrained him. "No, lad. I"m not parting with you for to-night. We"ll send round for your traps. I"ll put you up."
"What? No, no, you can"t! I shall be all right. Don"t worry about me!"