Feng Xiao Qing also knew that it would come to that sooner or later... She wondered whether she should come clean about everything or not... However, she knew that some truths needed to be faced no matter how much she wanted to cover it up.Lu Yi Feng deserved to know about it...
If she continued to hold herself back, there was no point in having a relations.h.i.+p. In the end, it would only hurt them both and there would be no trust between them. The relations.h.i.+p between her and Xiao Xi Xi was the purest in her mind --- they trusted each other based on their instinct as mother and daughter pair, but oh well... she could learn to trust Lu Yi Feng as well.
Feng Xiao Qing didn"t realize that she had grown reliant on Lu Yi Feng lately. It meant that she had already trusted him all along.
The question was... how much should she let him know about her past?
The whole truth? She was a bit hesitant but she also knew that it was impossible to tell him everything now, after all... there was also someone else"s secret inside the truth. She didn"t want to betray that person, but honestly, it gave her a headache.
"Is it so hard to tell me about it?" Lu Yi Feng asked when he found her thinking deeply and there was no indication that she would tell her anything. He didn"t feel disappointed --- well, a bit... However, he was more concerned about her past. It seemed that she really had it difficult.
Feng Xiao Qing sighed and honestly told him, "I will tell everything that I went through but some things just couldn"t be said because it involved another person... Can I keep that part as a secret for now?"
Lu Yi Feng tilted his head to the side and knew that this was the biggest concession that Feng Xiao Qing could make. This was already a good start and he didn"t plan to become greedy, so he nodded his head. "Sure... I"m fine with it," Lu Yi Feng answered.
It was good enough that she wanted to open up, besides, it was a secret now but it wouldn"t be in the future. In a way, this was a subtle promise from Feng Xiao Qing.
Honestly, if he didn"t have a difficult past that was hard to say as well, he wouldn"t be able to let her off easily like this. Their past was also the reason it was possible for them to be together --- it made them become more understanding of each other"s past.
Feng Xiao Qing laid back on the ground, not caring whether her dress would become dirty or not. This much dirt was nothing to her --- especially because there was a time in her life when it was hard for her to take a bath every day. If she recalled the past, she even shuddered at her own state back then because it was so disgusting.
She needed to calm herself down and she could achieve that by looking at the beautiful stars in the sky. When she looked at the vast sky, it seemed like her problem became smaller and it would be easier for her to tell Lu Yi Feng about it...
Lu Yi Feng was a neat freak but when he saw her doing this, he followed along. Both of them looked at the sky while enjoying the quietness which surrounded them. There were still a few hours until it was time for them to see the sunrise so there were plenty of times for them to talk.
Feng Xiao Qing sighed and finally uttered a word, "Yes..."
"Hmm...?" Lu Yi Feng"s mind seemed to have go blank, not understanding what she meant. "Yes...? About what?"
"Yes... I met him when I was a gangster..." Feng Xiao Qing answered while rolling her eyes. He was the one who asked the question and yet, he didn"t understand what she was trying to say.
Lu Yi Feng wanted to ask about their relations.h.i.+p in detail but he didn"t know how to start. He decided to stay quiet and look at the sky, waiting for her to open up more. He wanted to let her talk at her own pace.
"Why don"t you ask me how...?" Feng Xiao Qing asked curiously.
Lu Yi Feng sighed. "I could more or less guess... after all, at that time, Lu Ming Cheng was also at his rebellious state. I heard that he had been mixing up with some gangsters and our relations.h.i.+p wasn"t as bad as now, but he still wouldn"t listen to me... so I told someone to report it to my father..."
He wanted his father to handle the rest --- that was the only thing he could do as her brother. He didn"t want to interfere that much or else Lu Ming Cheng would rebel even more. He always knew how much Lu Ming Cheng hated him and that was the reason he always kept a distance from Lu Ming Cheng.
Feng Xiao Qing nodded her head. "Yes... that"s true... He"s quite popular back then..."
Everyone in the circle knew that Lu Ming Cheng was the son of a wealthy man so it raised his status and there were so many women throwing themselves at him. On the other hand, Feng Xiao Qing could be categorized as those who hated Lu Ming Cheng for being pampered.
"Hate him?" Lu Yi Feng asked in surprise. "Then... how...?"
Feng Xiao Qing understood what he wanted to ask about --- how did she end up having a child with him... if she hated him.
Lu Yi Feng looked calm from the outside, however, he was actually feeling really jealous of the fact that another man had been with her in the past. It was hard for any man to accept but he loved her... so he was also feeling helpless. He met her a bit too late but he still felt grateful ah~!
At least, he had met her...