Ostriches should Carry Their Eggs in a Basket And use their Feathers For Dusting over the Desert.
The Squirrel is quite a different kind of fowl: He works while others sleep, the sly old owl!
And stores up food, against the rainy day, In secret nooks, from forest thieves away.
When winter comes, or when besieged by foes, Securely housed he feasts and thumbs his nose And ridicules starvation: he"s immune!
While others, shiftless, sing another tune.
The Squirrel, you see, is much misfortune spared In times of stress because he is prepared.
Improvident Nuts Should Tear a Leaf From the Squirrel"s Diary.
A Heifer on the Railroad Crossing stood Chewing Contentment"s Cud, as heifers should,-- When, rushing madly, "late again," there came The Noonday Mail. The Heifer was to blame For choosing her position, I would say, Because the Engine had the Right of Whey.
The Cow was unprepared! Her switching tail Failed signally to flag the Noonday Mail.
But why keep beefing over milk that"s spilled?
She heeded not the sign and thus was killed.
Heifers with Unprotected Flanks should not Invite Rear-guard Actions.
The Busy Bee improves the shining hours And gathers honey from the fragrant flowers.
When Winter comes, forsaking field and rill, He _hivernates_, but lives in clover still.
While Famine stalks without, his Home, _Sweet_ Home Is stored with tempting food from floor to dome.
He never lacks, nor has to buy, but cells His surplus food gleaned from the flower-fringed dells.
A thrifty fellow is the Busy Bee And fortified against Emergency.
A Bee"s Ears Contain no Wax And he Saves his Combings Against the Baldness of Old Age.
The Mule is well equipped but lacks the _mind_; His strategy is in his heels, behind.
If pointed wrong, his practice is not dreaded, But kick he will, no matter how he"s headed.
With foresight lacking, hindsight to the fore, He"ll be just simple Mule forevermore; Without the range or sight he"ll blaze away And thwart his purpose with his brazen bray.
If well-directed effort were his cult No fortress could withstand his catapult.
A Mule should Conserve His Ammunition and Not Shoot-off his Mouth.
The Burglar, have you noticed? never troubles To look for petty loot in obscure hovels.
He packs his kit and steals adown the road To Gaspard Moneybags" renowned abode.
He knows the house-plan ("inside" dope, no doubt) And when he"s _in_, old Moneybags is _out_.
But Jimmy does not dent the window-sash; He enters _thru the door_ and gets the cash.
Prepared? Well, yes! He knew just where to look, For Nora hung the key upon the hook.
Team-work is The Handmaiden Of Efficiency.
It pays to be Prepared, you see, and so The Snail in Armored Car goes safe, tho" slow; And Alligators in their Coats of Mail Withstand a.s.saults where those, defenceless, fail.
The Tortoise totes his Caripace around And dwells in safety where his foes abound; While Wasps, with poisoned javelins, defend Successfully their offspring to the _end_.
A Sheep with ramparts has no thought of fear, But guards his b.u.t.tress when his foes appear, And any Skunk can frighten and hara.s.s An Army with Asphyxiating Gas.
THE FUGITIVE KISS
How I loved her! There on the gate we"d lean, (The dear, old gate that never gave away The loving nothings we were wont to say) From day to day, And sometimes after dark; She was my Angel-Sweetheart, just sixteen.
But I was shy! And while I longed to taste The nectar of her lips, I was afraid To draw her to my breast and kiss the Maid: But I essayed!
And this is what I drew-- "There"s Papa with the bulldog, so make haste!"
What could I do? The "bark" was flecked with foam, And old man Jones was meaner than a cur; So there I stood "twixt fear, and love of her And didn"t stir Until they came: and then I kissed them _all_ Good-bye and _beat it home_.
_NEW_ MEXICAN NATIONAL ANTHEM
My Country vast and grand, Sweet Montezuma Land, My Stingaree.
Land of the Knife and Gun, Villa and Scorpion; Land of the Evil One I weep for thee!
Smallpox and Rattlesnakes Lurk in thy Cactus brakes, And Yellow Jack.
Spiders and Centipedes Gloat o"er thy murd"rous deeds: To cure thy crying needs, Call Diaz back.
Tarantula and Flies Poison your lands and skies: Behold your graves!
Carranza"s waving beard By Pancho"s Band is feared, And will be till he"s sheared Or dyes or shaves.
Horned Toads and Vampire Bats, Gilas and Mountain Cats, Where"er you go!
Buzzards and Vultures reign Over a million slain; And Mescal is the bane Of Mexico.
O, Land of Chili con Carne and Obregon, Let murders cease!
Keep Freedom"s fires aglow Where La Frijoles grow; Throw up your Sombrero And Keep the Peace!
LOVE
I
Love is the Mecca of our Heart"s Desire: We worship at its shrine and feel its thrill; Burning our Hopes upon its Altar Fire Till Pa.s.sion be consumed, but not until.
II
Then Love a.s.sumes a calmer mood, when spent-- His quiver empty and his bow unstrung-- And peers into the pleasing Past, content To live, unmoved, his memories among.
STRONGARM"S WATERLOO