"I bear you no malice, my dear Gaston, and I am sure you bear me none.
Your breaking off of our engagement was the only way out of a fantastic situation. You might have broken it less abruptly; but you were always sudden. If I may believe Asticot, your own marriage was a lightning incident. I can laugh now, and so I suppose can your wife; but believe me this sort of thing does leave a woman rather breathless.
"Wish me happiness, as I wish you. If ever we meet it will be as loyal friends."
Could woman have spoken more sweetly?
"My dear Joanna," replied Paragot, "I do wish you all the happiness in the world. You can"t fail to have it. You have a real husband as I have a real wife. Let us thank heaven we have escaped from the moon vapour of the Ideal, in which we poor humans are apt to lose our way and stray G.o.d knows whither. I am sending you a real marriage gift."
"My dear Asticot," wrote Joanna from an hotel in Florence, "what do you think your delightful but absurd master has sent me as a wedding present? It arrived here this morning, to the consternation of the whole hotel. A crate containing six live ducks. The label stated that they were real ducks fed by his own hand.
"But what am I to do with six live ducks on a wedding journey, my dear Asticot? I can"t sell them. I hate the idea of eating them--and even if I didn"t, Major Walters and I can"t eat six. And I can"t put blue ribbons round their necks, and carry them about with me on my travels as pets. Can"t you see me walking over the Ponte Vecchio followed by them as by a string of poodles? And they are so voracious. The hotel people are already charging them full pension terms. Oh, dear! Do tell me what I am to do with these dreadful fowl!"
"My dearest Lady," I answered. "Offer the ducks like the Dunmow flitch of bacon to the most happily married couple in Florence."
Whether Joanna acted on my brilliant suggestion I cannot say. A little while ago I enquired after their ultimate destiny; but Joanna had forgotten. I believe Major Walters and herself fled from them secretly.
Paragot on his label stated that he had fed the ducks with his own hand.
This was practically true; indeed, in the case of those who declined to nourish themselves to the requisite degree of fatness, it was literally true. I have beheld him since perform the astounding operation, a sight _Dis hominibusque_; but not in the Rue des Saladiers. It was on his own farm, the farm near Chartres, which he bought, in his bewildering fas.h.i.+on, as soon as lawyers could prepare the necessary doc.u.ments. He took train the day after his proposal of marriage to Blanquette, and returned, I remember, somewhat crestfallen, because he could not conclude the purchase then and there.
"My dear sir," said the lawyer whom he consulted, "you can"t buy landed property as you can a pound of sugar over a counter."
"Why not?" asked Paragot.
"Because," said the lawyer, "the law of France mercifully concedes to men of my profession the right of gaining a livelihood."
"I see that you are a real lawyer," said Paragot, pleased by the irony, "and it is an amiable Providence that has guided my steps to your _cabinet_."
But Paragot was married, and the little _appartement_ in the Rue des Saladiers pa.s.sed into alien hands, and the newly wedded pair settled down on the farm, long before all the legal formalities of purchase were accomplished. It takes my breath away, even now, to think of the hurry of those days. He decided human destinies in the fraction of a second.
"My son," said he, "when I have paid for this farm, I shall have very little indeed of the capital, on the interest of which we have been living. I am now a married man, with the responsibilities of a wife and a future family. I have put 200 to your credit at the Credit Lyonnais and that is all your fortune. If art can"t support you, when you have spent it, you will have to come to La Haye (the farm) and feed pigs.
You"ll be richer if you paint them; the piggier they are, and the heavier the gold watch chains across their bellies, the richer you will be; but you"ll be happier if you feed them. _Crede experturo._"
I went to bed that night swearing a great oath that I would neither paint pigs nor feed pigs, but that I would prove myself worthy of the generosity of my master and benefactor. I felt then that his goodness was great; but how great it was I only realised in after years when I came to learn his financial position. Bearing in mind the relativity of things, I know that few fathers have sent their sons out into the world with so princely a capital.
Fortune smiled on me; why, I don"t know; perhaps because I was small and sandy haired and harmless, and did not worry her. I sold two or three pictures, I obtained regular employment on an ill.u.s.trated journal, and raised my price for contributions to _Le Fou Rire_. Bread and b.u.t.ter were a.s.sured. There was never prouder youth than I, when one August morning I started from Paris for Chartres, with fifty superfluous pounds in my pocket which I determined to restore to Paragot.
The old Paragot of the high roads, hairy and bronzed, and wearing a great straw hat with wide brim turned down, met me at the little local station. He forgot that he was half British and almost hugged me. At last I had come--it was my third visit--at last I had torn myself away from that _sacre_ Paris and its flesh-pots and its paint-pots and its artificialities.
"Nothing is real in Paris, whether it be the smile on the painted lady"s lips or the dream of the young poet. Here, in the midst of G.o.d"s fields, there is no pretending, no shamming, no lying, none of your confounded idealism. All is solid, _mon gars_. Solid like that," and he thumped his chest to ill.u.s.trate the argument.
"Bucephale, too?" I queried with a laugh, as we fetched up beside the most ancient horse in the Department, drooping between the shafts of a springless cart. Needless to say, Bucephale had been rechristened in his extreme old age.
"He is a living proof," cried Paragot, "of the solidity _rerum agrestium_. Look at him! Shew me a horse of his age in Paris. The Paris horses, like Youth in the poem, grow pale and spectre thin and die of premature decay. Here, _mon pet.i.t_," said he giving a sou to a blue bloused urchin who was restraining the impetuous Bucephale from a wild gallop over the Eure et Loire, "when you have spent that come to La Haye and I will give you another."
He threw my bag into the cart, and we took our places on the plank that served as a seat.
"_En route_, Bucephale!" cried Paragot, gathering up the reins. "Observe the kindly manners of the country. If I had addressed him like your Paris cabman with a "_Hue Cocotte!_" it would have wounded his susceptibilities."
Bucephale started off jog-trot down the straight white road edged with poplars, while Paragot talked, and the sun blazed down upon us from a cobalt sky. All around the fertile plain laughed in the suns.h.i.+ne--a giant, contented laugh, like that of its broad-faced, broad-hipped daughters who greeted Paragot as we raced by at the rate of five miles an hour. Did I ever meet a Paris horse that went this speed? asked Paragot, and I answered him truthfully, "Never."
We stopped in a white-walled, red-roofed village, beside a tiny shop gloriously adorned with a gilt bull"s head. The butcher"s wife came out.
"_Bonjour_, Monsieur Paragot."
"_Bonjour_, Madame Jolivet, have you a nice fatted calf for this young Prodigal from Paris? If you haven"t, we can do with four kilos of good beef."
And the result of ten minutes talk was a great lump of raw meat, badly wrapped in newspaper, which Paragot, careless of my Paris clothes, thrust on my knees, while he continued to drive Bucephale. I dropped the beef into the back of the cart. Paragot shook his head.
"To-morrow, my son, you shall be clothed in humility and shall clean out the cow pen."
"I should prefer to accept your original invitation, Master," said I, "and help with the corn."
For Paragot, besides Bucephale and cows and ducks and pigs and fowls and a meadow or two, possessed a patch of cornfield of which he was pa.s.sionately proud. He had sown it himself that spring and now was harvest. He pointed to it with his whip as soon as we came in sight of the farm.
"_My_ corn, my little Asticot. It is marvellous, eh? Who says that Berzelius Nibbidard Paragot can"t make things grow? I was born to it.
_Nom de Dieu_ I could make anything grow. I could plant your palette and it would come up a landscape. And _sacre mille cochons_, I have done the most miraculous thing of all. I am the father of a human being, a real live human being, my son. He is small as yet," he added apologetically, "but still he is alive. He has teeth, Asticot. It is the most remarkable thing in this astonis.h.i.+ng universe."
The dim form of a woman standing with a child in her arms in front of a group of farm buildings across the fields to the right, gradually grew into the familiar figure of my dear Blanquette. She came down the road to meet us, her broad homely face beaming with gladness and in her eyes a new light of welcome. Narcisse trotted at her heels. The rheumatism of advancing years gave him a distinguished gait.
We sprang from the cart. Bucephale left to himself regarded the family meeting with a grandfatherly air, until an earth-coloured nondescript emerged from the ground and led him off towards the house. After our embraces, we followed, Paragot dancing the delighted infant, Blanquette with her great motherly arm around my shoulders, and Narcisse soberly sniffing for adventure, after the manner of elderly dogs.
"Do you remember, Asticot?" said Blanquette. "Four of us started for Chambery. Now five of us come to La Haye. _C"est drole, hein?_"
"_Tu es contente?_" I asked.
Her arm tightened, and her eyes grew moist.
"_Mais oui_," she said in a low voice. Then she looked at Paragot and the child, a yard or two in front of us.
"He is the image of his father," she said almost reverentially.
I burst out laughing. Where the likeness lay between the chubby, snub-nosed, eighteen months old baby, and the hairy, battered Paragot, no human eye but Blanquette"s could discover. I vowed he resembled a little j.a.panese idol.
"_Pauvre cheri_," said Blanquette, motherwise.
The house of Paragot was not a palace. It stood, low and whitewashed, amid a medley of little tumble-down erections, and was guarded on one side by cowsheds and on the other by the haystack. You stepped across the threshold into the kitchen. A door on the right gave access to the bedroom. A ladder connected with a hole in the roof enabled you to reach the c.o.c.kloft, the guest room of the establishment. That was all. What on earth could man want more? asked Paragot. The old rep suite, the table with the American cloth, the coloured prints in gilt frames including the portrait of Garibaldi, the cheap deal bookcases holding Paragot"s tattered cla.s.sics, gave the place an air of familiar homeliness. A mattock, a gun and a cradle warred against old a.s.sociations.
When we entered, the child began to whimper. Perhaps it did not approve of the gun. Like myself he may, in trembling fancy, have heard its owner cry: "I have an inspiration! Let us go out and shoot cows." Paragot found another reason.
"That infant"s life is a perpetual rebellion against his name. I chose Triptoleme. A beautiful name. If you look at him you see it written all over him. Blanquette was crazy for Thomas. In indignation I swore he should be christened Triptoleme Onesime. Blanquette wept. I yielded. "At least let him be called Didyme," I pleaded. Didyme! There is something caressing about Didyme. Repeat it. "Didyme." But no. Blanquette wept louder. She wept so loud that all the ducks ran in to see whether I was murdering her----"
"It is not true!" protested Blanquette. "How can you say those things?
You know they are not true."
"Her state was so terrible," continued my master, "that I sacrificed my son"s destiny. Behold Thomas. I too would howl if I had such a name."
"He is hungry," said Blanquette, "and it is a very pretty name. He likes to hear it, _n"est-ce pas, mon pet.i.t Tho-Thom cheri_? There! He smiles."
"She is really convinced that he has heard her call him Thomas. Oh, woman!" said Paragot.