he turned on the step, shifting so his back pressed against the railing. he parted his thighs and rested his right foot on the porch, bending his knee. his other foot balanced on the bottom step. her calves brushed against his inner thigh. it was a very intimate position. her gaze seemed drawn to his chest, drifting lower to his trousers. she looked away before she reached dangerous territory, but their new positions made her hyper aware of his heat and scent. she clutched her arms to her chest.
"i"d like a family," he said, seemingly unaware of what he was doing to her. "but it"s not in the cards for me."
"too bad. you"re wonderful with mandy."
he brushed off her compliment with a flick of his wrist. "speaking of mandy, i"ve been thinking. there"s a soccer league for the younger kids. it gives them something to do during football season. the teams are coed, but they match them up by size and skill. sign-ups are tomorrow. i thought i could take her to the park. what do you think?"
"" i think you"re a sheep in wolf"s clothing, travis haynes. all this tough talk, but underneath, you"re a sweetie."
his slow, s.e.xy grin chased the last of the shadows from his eyes. "tell anyone, and you"re dead meat."
"tough guy, you don"t scare me. soccer will be great for mandy. thanks for offering to take her: "
"no problem. i know the coaches. she"ll have fun and make lots of friends."
she leaned forward. "travis, you"re wonderful with kids. this is a perfect example. you shouldn"t dismiss that."
"the truth is, i"m a sprinter. it"s easy to play daddy for a couple of hours, but it makes a big difference when the kids are yours. i know. i"ve seen craig struggling: " "
"you keep saying that you don"t have what it takes, but from everything i"ve seen, all the parts are in working order : " he raised his dark eyebrows. instantly her gaze dropped to his crotch and she remembered the feel of his hardness pressing against her. she blushed and looked away. "you know what i meant."
"i prefer my interpretation of what you said: " she sank back against the railing. "i think it"s time for me to say good-night."
"not so fast: " he stood on the bottom step and loomed over her. his head moved lower, blocking out the night stars. his hands touched her almost-bare should en making her instantly tremble. but at the last minute, she turned her face away. his mouth grazed her cheek."
"elizabeth?"
"i can"t," she whispered. she risked looking up at him. confusion filled his brown eyes, fighting the fire there and slowly putting it out. she couldn"t. for a thousand sensible reasons that all boiled down to being afraid of making the same mistake again.
if only she"d met travis seven years ago. if only he"d been the one to steal her heart and seduce her body. but it hadn"t been travis, it had been sam. maybe if sam had beat her or cheated on her, it would have been easier to get over what happened. but how was she supposed to recover from being a fool? how was she supposed to forget the lies?
travis stepped back and held out his hand to help her up. she ignored him and rose. a pain jabbed her side as her movements pulled the incision.
"i"m sorry," she said, looking over his left shoulder. "i can"t do this. i"m not what you think i am" she smiled sadly, knowing she either had to smile or cry. already her eyes were burning. she prayed she made it to her room before she gave way.
"so it all comes back to that d.a.m.n mystery," he growled."
"what is so terrible?"
"don"t ask me, please. i really appreciate everything you"ve done. i"m very grateful."
"i don"t want your grat.i.tude."
she blinked several times, but it didn"t help. one tear rolled free. she brushed it off her cheek. "it"s all i have to give you, travis. there"s nothing else. please believe me. i"m not who you think i am."
chapter eight.
the coach blew his whistle, but none of the kids on the field paid any attention. they continued to chase the white soccer ball, screaming with excitement in the frenzy of being the first one to actually kick the ball. when the ball made a sudden left turn, mandy was right there. she stared down at it, her expression a mixture of confusion and delight; then she kicked for all she was worth. the ball saiied into the air and landed out of bounds. travis stood up and cheered. the coach wearily shook his head and continued to blow the whistle. finally the dozen or so six and seven-year-olds quieted down to listen.
for the fifth time, the coach explained the rules of the game. each of the children nodded earnestly, then scattered in an effort to find and kick the ball. travis chuckled mandy was right in the middle of the pack. with her bright red shorts and t-shirt she was easy to spot. her blond ponytail swung with each step.
"the kid"s a natural athlete," he said.
"you sound like a proud papa."
he shifted on the bleachers set up on the side of the field and turned around. a sultry brunette with legs that stretched from here to forever smiled down at him. her cropped t shirt and microscopic shorts left little to the imagination.
"unless you"ve been hiding something, travis, she couldn"t possibly be yours: "no, amber. she"s the daughter of a friend of mine. i brought her to the practice. i"m surprised to see you here."
"jimmy"s playing: she motioned to the field. a short dark-haired boy ran tenaciously after the ball."
"you know how karl is about sports: " he did know. karl was one of his deputies. a former college football hero, karl had hoped for a career in the pros. he had the heart but lacked speed. amber had married him before the 49ers released him from his contract. rumor had it she wasn"t happy about being cheated out of her role as the professional football player"s wife. travis couldn"t confirm the rumors, but the last two times he"d stopped amber for speeding, she"d offered to pay her ticket with something other than cash. he"d refused. even if karl hadn"t been his subordinate and a friend, travis didn"t dally with married women.
"my husband"s working today," she said, moving down closer to where he was sitting. "but then you know that, don"t you? are you going to be at all the practices? they take a couple of hours, don"t they?" she moved closer and smiled. "maybe we could get a cup of coffee, or something"
it was the"something" that had him worried. "thanks, but i don"t think so, amber. i"d rather stay with the kids."
her perfect features twisted into a snarl. "i always knew your reputation was a lot of hype, travis. figures there"d be nothing hot in this c.r.a.ppy little town." she jumped off the bleachers and stalked away.
it was starting to make sense, he thought, remembering how distracted karl had been lately. amber must be making his life h.e.l.l. he grimaced. looks like the haynes boys weren"t the only ones who couldn"t keep their marriages together.
he returned his attention to the field. the coach was trying to set up drills for the kids. it wasn"t working. travis thought about volunteering his services, but he was already committed to a pint-size football team. in a couple of weeks the practices would overlap.
mandy continued to run back and forth, laughing as she tried to kick the ball. her smile made him think of her mother.
life wasn"t fair. amber was ready to get involved in an affair. she would understand it for what it was and not expect more of him. he hadn"t had a woman in months, so he should have been tempted. but amber didn"t do a thing for him. not to mention the fact that she was married. he shrugged. he had a bad feeling that even if amber had been single, he wouldn"t have been interested.
elizabeth, on the other hand, could turn him on in a heartbeat. she was single but not available, and certainly not the type a man played around with. if it wasn"t for that d.a.m.ned feeling he got when he was around her-the sense of belonging-he could put her out of his mind.
but instead of trying to not think about her, he recalled their kiss. hot and perfect. she"d gone all soft in his arms, holding on, kissing him back. his chest still burned where her b.r.e.a.s.t.s had pressed against him. she"d tasted sweet and ready. G.o.d knows he"d been ready. even thinking about it made his jeans uncomfortable. he shifted on the bench and glanced at the kids still playing. think about something else, haynes, he told himself.
i"m not who you think i am. her words haunted him. what could they mean? she said she wasn"t married, and he didn"t think she was a liar. so what was it? d.a.m.n. he should have made her tell him. barring that, he should have kissed her again, kissed her until neither of them cared about her mystery, or anything but the feelings they generated when they were together.
a white sheriff"s car pulled up, distracting him. he stood and stretched, then walked over to the vehicle. kyle stepped out and walked around the car.
"what"s up?" travis asked.
kyle shook his head. "nothing"s up. i called the house and elizabeth said you were here: kyle grinned. " is she as pretty as she sounds?"
"what happened to lisa?"
kyle leaned against the car and folded his arms over his chest."
"we broke up."
"you dumped her."
"yeah. i guess."
travis studied his twenty-eight-year-old brother. he"d been the one hardest hit by their mother leaving. he was six-two, lean, with the haynes dark hair, eyes and good looks. girls, women and old ladies loved him. he dumped them all before they could dump him.
"what happened this time?" travis asked."
"you know, same old thing. she wasn"t right. so tell me about elizabeth. i heard from louise that she"s really pretty. and about my age."
"don"t even think about it," travis growled.
kyle grinned. "jealous, old man? that"s a first: " "
"i"m not jealous. elizabeth is going through some things right now and she doesn"t need to get involved with a romeo like you: " kyle leaned forward and mockingly punched him in the stomach. travis feinted right and shot back a jab of his own.
"you"ve got it bad, big brother. the lady has you hogtied with luvvvv."
"it"s been less than two weeks. we"re just... friends."
kyle dropped his arms to his side. "sell it somewhere else. i recognize the signs. you"ll be parking your slippers under her bed by the end of the month: " travis shoved his hands into his jeans front pockets. "it"s not what you think, kyle. i like her." how long had it been since he"d admitted that to himself or anyone else?
kyle"s good humor faded. his mouth pulled straight and his eyes darkened with sadness. "i guess that means you"re going to stay away from her, huh?"
"i don"t have much choice."
"the haynes curse." kyle turned and braced his forearms on the top of the marked sedan. "we"re all pretty bright. you"d think we"d have figured out a way to break the thing: "
"you keep trying."
"not anymore. i"m giving up on women."
"thayll last about a minute." he looked out at the field and watched mandy play. she saw him and waved then went back to her game. "we make a sorry group, kyle: " "
"that we do. and we"re contagious. austin was probably normal before we got a hold of him: " travis shook his head. "i don"t think so. austin had trouble before he ever got to glenwood. maybe the five of us should start a twelvqstep program. hi, my name is travis, and i don"t know how to make a relationship work: " kyle pushed off the car and stepped into the street"let me know if it helps. are we on for the game this sunday?"
kyle, austin and whichever of his other two brothers were around usually came over to watch football in the fall. he"d canceled last week because of elizabeth.
"sure. she"s feeling better."
"so i will get to meet her." kyle"s smile didn"t reach his eyes.
"yeah, but watch yourself." "
"i will: " travis watched his brother open his car door. before he stepped inside, travis called, "wait a minute." he walked around the hood of the vehicle and hesitated."
"can you run a name for me?"
"sure. who?"
he shouldn"t do this. if elizabeth found out, she would be furious. worse, she would be hurt. she"d said she hadn"t done anything illegal, but what if she"d been lying? he didn"t want to think that of her, but there was obviously something she wasn"t telling him.
he pulled a pad of paper out of his back pocket and borrowed kyle"s pen. he vacillated another second, then wrote the name"sam proctor" down and handed kyle the sheet.
"call me if you find anything. and keep it under your hat: " kyle studied the name. "no problem. see you sunday."
travis watched the car pull away from the curb. what would elizabeth think when she"d found out what he"d done? what would he think if he learned her secret?
mandy licked her ice-cream cone frantically, but the drips were faster. "travis, help," she called, holding out her hand.
he grabbed two napkins and wiped her clean. by the time he was done with that hand, the other one was a mess.
"you"ve got to learn to eat them quicker, honey."
mandy giggled. she had several gra.s.s stains on her shirt and shorts from the soccer practice. there was a smudge of dirt on her cheek and chocolate ice cream on her chin. she was adorable.
"i"m done." she gave him the half-finished cone, which proceeded to drip all over his hand.
"great. thanks." he licked it a couple of times, then tossed it in the plastic-lined trash container in the ice-cream shop. he wiped both their hands, then collected their packages. mandy slid off her stool and followed him out onto the street"hold this," he said, handing her one of the bags. he reached in his back pocket and pulled out the list elizabeth had made. "okay, we bought t shirts."
"three of them," mandy said helpfully.
"yes, three. and shoes. we got underwear."
"with pink bunnies."
"the bunnies are nice." it had been tough deciding botween bunnies, a popular female cartoon figure and flowers he"d picked out female lingerie before, but not cotton panties for a six-year-old. he hoped elizabeth approved of the bunnies. he scanned the list. "that"s it, kid. we just have to go by the post office and collect your mom"s mail. then we"ll head home."
"okay." she started down the sidewalk."
"mandy? " he called."
"what?"
"it"s that way." he pointed in the other direction.
she smiled."
"okay. " the bag was light, but almost as big as she was. he reached down and took it from her.
"i didn"t mean for you to carry that, sweetie. i"ll take it: " "
"but i want to help: " he sorted through the other packages. "here. take this one."
"mommy"s present?" she looked in the small gift store bag and smiled. "mommy will like it."
"i hope so. " it had been an impulsive purchase. a small yellow stuffed duck. she wouldn"t get the joke, but seeing it would remind him not to try to be other than he was.