"no."
she pouted and rested her head on his shoulder.
"don"t give me that look," he said. "i can"t use the siren when it"s not an emergency."
she thought for a minute."
"i gotta go."
his heart sank. "now?"
she nodded. "it"s a "mergency."
elizabeth raised the hospital bed and stared out the window from where she was lying, she could sea the corner of the small parking lot and a plot of gra.s.s with a chinese maple in the center. it was early sat.u.r.day morning and she"d seen only a handful of cars enter the hospital grounds.
everything was going to be fine. she"d recited the phrase over and over, hoping by saying it enough she would start to believe it was true. but panic threatened, just below the surface of her carefully constructed facade.
she was scared. there was no getting around the lump in her throat and the cold hard knot in her stomach, just next to the tender incision the doctors had made yesterday. she wasn"t frightened for herself. the surgery had gone well, and she was healing nicely, according to the doctor who had visited early that morning. she had medical insurance, so the unexpected stay in the hospital wasn"t going to deplete her savings.
the lump in her throat got bigger and her eyes burned from unshed tears. she blinked them away and prayed that her daughter hadn"t been too scared last night, alone in a strange place. had they let her sleep with her bear? had she had any bad dreams? there were, on average, twenty children at the county facility. had mandy gotten lost among all the other kids? who would have been there to hold her if she cried?
logically, elizabeth knew she hadn"t had another choice as far as her daughter was concerned. having her spend the night in the county home had made sense. she would be fed and warm and have a bed to sleep in. but knowing her only child had been put there, like a stray puppy rounded up by the pound, made her feel like the worst kind of parent. mothers were supposed to do better for their children. of course, mothers were also supposed to know what they were doing when they picked out fathers-and look at how that had turned out.
she reached over to the black phone on the small metal nightstand and dialed the number she"d gotten from directory a.s.sistance. for the second time in fifteen minutes, she heard a busy signal. from what she remembered from her tour during her interview a month ago, the county facility only had one line she hung up the receiver. she would keep trying until she got through. she wanted to check on mandy and rea.s.sure her daughter that everything was going to be fine-even though she didn"t know how.
elizabeth forced herself to hold on to her control. she couldn"t afford to give into the fear. not now. if she started questioning herself, she might never stop. six months ago her world had come crashing in on her. she"d managed to collect the pieces and a.s.semble them into a life, but the structure was fragile, and this emergency was enough to send the whole thing crumbling again. the logistics of her condition whirled around in her head. how was she going to take care of mandy when she was supposed to stay off her feet for a week and not drive for three weeks? what about feeding her, and registering her for school, buying her new shoes, and a hundred other things she"d planned to do over the long holiday weekend? what about taking her out to watch the ducks and playing tag and the sound of footsteps in the hallway caught her attention she glanced over at her partially closed door and watched as it was pushed open. sheriff travis haynes entered the room and smiled at her. she stared at him, surprise and a tiny spurt of pleasure temporarily hiding her worries. he"d told her he would come by today and visit, but she hadn"t expected him to. he"d done too much already still, except for retsa and mandy, he was the only other person she knew in glenwood, and she couldn"t help being pleased to see him.
grat.i.tude, she told herself firmly, trying to find the reason for the sudden surge of good spirits. grat.i.tude and nothing else.
"hi," she said, managing a shaky smile. she pulled the sheet up to her shoulders en and self-consciously touched the straggly ends of her hair. they hadn"t let her have a shower yet, and she felt grungy. she"d planned to insist on getting cleaned up later that morning. she hadn"t expected visitors so early.
"hi, yourself." travis crossed the room in three long strides and pulled a plastic chair close to the bed. "may i?"
"please."
his khaki, short-sleeved uniform looked freshly pressed. a badge and a name tag had been pinned above the left breast pocket. he stood about six feet tall, with dark curly hair and a trimmed mustache that outlined his upper lip. he was the kind of man who, as her aunt amanda used to say, made a woman get a crick in her neck just watching him stroll by.
as he settled himself in the chair, he tossed his beige stetson across the bed. it sailed through the air and landed dead center on the table in front of the window.
"neat trick," she said, trying to ignore the way his brown eyes twinkled when he looked at her. "you have to practice much?"
"every day. i sit in my office, tossing my hat across the room. it impresses the ladies" he had a smooth, low voice, like liquid chocolate. "qlly?qq"aren"t you impressed, darling"?"
some, but she wasn"t about to admit it. once she"d let a man charm her and impress her and seduce her. never again, she reminded herself. she"d learned a hard lesson from sam proctor."
"i didn"t expect you to visit," she said. " i"m sure you have other things you should be doing: "
"you"re the most important item on my agenda," he said, leaning back in the chair and resting one ankle on the opposite knee. the movement emphasized the muscles in his thighs.
she looked away. "oh?"
"how are you feeling?"
"a little sore, but better than i was. the doctor says i"m healing nicely. " she shifted in the hospital bed. " they gave me something to make me sleep, and that helped. i never got to thank you yesterday.
"just doing my job"
she waved at the iv still attached to her hand. "they said that if i"d waited another couple of hours, the appendix might have burst. if i"d gone to the walk-in medical clinic like i"d planned, i might have gotten to the hospital too late."
"so it all worked out. you"ll be released tomorrow: "
"that"s what they told me." she glanced at him sitting in the white plastic chair. he looked tanned and handsome and disgustingly healthy, while her insides felt as if a herd of buffalo had trampled through them."
"where are you going to go when they release you? " he asked.
"back to the motel." it wasn"t a great solution, but it was the best one she"d been able to think of. where else could she go?"
"and then?"
"and then i"ll get better and go to work. that is, if i still have a job. i need to call rebecca and tell her what happened" she forced herself to meet his gaze, and prayed her expression looked as calm and confident as she"d made herself sound. she didn"t want to foist her troubles on anyone, especially not this handsome stranger. one rescue per weekend was quite enough.
he folded his arms over his chest. his shirt stretched tightly across his broad shoulders. he had a solid look about him. he was the kind of man who could physically work for hours without tiring. he looked dependable. she shook her head. i. ooks could be deceiving.
then he smiled. she told herself not to notice, that he was obviously an accomplished ladies" man, but that didn"t stop her rather battered insides from responding favorably to the flash of white teeth.
"i have good news, bad news and good news," he said. "which do you want first?"
she panicked. "is mandy-"
he cut her off. "she"s fine. that"s the first good news. the bad news is there"s an outbreakq of chicken pox at the children"s home. i didn"t know if mandy"d had chicken pox, so i couldn"t leave her there last night. rebecca figured the last thing you"d need in your condition is a sick kid: " elizabeth frowned. "if she"s not at the home, where is she?"
"downstairs, watching a clown make balloon animals : he shrugged." they were having a party and she wanted to see what was going on. i thought you and i should talk first anyway."
"so where did mandy spend the night?"
"with me. i called my housekeeper", and she took care of the basics of bathing and dressing. but i fed her breakfast : he looked sheepish and proud all at once."
"you? " why on earth would he volunteer to take home her daughter?" chicken pox? i can"t believe this is all happening. mandy hasn"t had them yet. thank G.o.d she wasn"t exposed to them. i don"t know what to say except thank you: she had a sudden thought. "i hope it wasn"t too inconvenient for your wife."
"i"m not married: " she told herself she wasn"t pleased by that fact. it was just a piece of information. it didn"t mean anything. the last thing she needed in her life was a man. "i don"t know how to repay you for all you"ve done."
"i"m responsible for the welfare of the people of this town," he said, and grinned again. "you are our newest citizen."
"you"re very kind: she relaxed. mandy was safe. nothing else mattered.
the slow, s.e.xy grin faded. "you"re going to need help when they release you. tell me who to call, elizabeth."
she turned her head and stared out the window."
"there"s no one to call. i told you, my parents are on a cruise in the orient. they"re probably halfway between australia and hong kong right now"
she didn"t bother mentioning that she deliberately hadn"t paid attention to her parents" travel plans. she didn"t even know the name of the ship or the cruise line in the past six months, she"d cut herself off from her family. she couldn"t bear to tell them the ugly, disgusting truth about her life. she couldn"t bear to see the shock and the shame in their eyes and to relive it all over again. she just wanted to forget everything. and she"d been on her way to doing just that. if only she hadn"t had to have surgery.
"then a friend from los angeles."
"no." all her friends knew what had happened. there"d been no way to keep it a secret. she hadn"t been able to face them, and had quickly cut all personal ties. there was no one left to call. what about tonight? where would mandy sleep?
"sheriff haynes.. : " "
"travis: "
"travis," she said and paused. "i have no family, other than my parents. i know this is an imposition, but would you or your housekeeper be willing to keep mandy tonight? i"d gladly pay you: her hands curled into fists. she hated asking, but what choice did she have?
"i"ll keep her and i don"t want your money. but that only takes care of today. what happens tomorrow?" tomorrow she would handle whatever she had to. she turned toward him. "i really appreciate your concern, but it"s not necessary. i"ll be fine. in the morning, i"ll get a cab. you do have cabs in glenwood?"
"one or two: "
"good. then i"ll get a cab, collect my daughter from you and take her back to the motel. we"ll be fine."
he stood up and walked over to the window. the view from the back-she caught her breath-well, it was just as good as the view from the front, she thought, staring at his tight, high rear end. the pants of his uniform fit snugly at his hips, then fell loosely over his muscled thighs. a black leather belt with snapped compartments hugged his narrow waist. his dark hair fell precisely to his collar, but didn"t touch the starched material.
it was the anesthetic, she told herself. and the fact that she"d spent the last year living like a nun. it was the tension and the strain. it was the season, or the time of month, but it was certainly not the man. she wouldn"t let it be.
"i have a couple of problems with your plan," he said, keeping his back to her.
"it"s not your business." she allowed her temper to flare and the heat of anger to buro away the other kind of warmth threatening her composure.
"first," he said, ignoring her statement, "you"re supposed to stay off your feet for a week. how do you propose to feed and take care of mandy?"
"i"ll-" she hadn"t solved that yet, but she would. she would get through it the same as she"d gotten through her other problems. one day, one step at a time. "i"ll think of something."
"you"re not supposed to drive for three weeks," he continued"
"how do you know?"
"i asked the nurse."
"if the town has a cab service, i don"t have to drive."
".i.hen there"s your job" he turned toward her and rested one hip on the windowsill. "which you still have."
"what?" she started to sit upright but the pain from the incision stopped her. she leaned back and stared at him."
"you talked to rebecca about my job?"
"i explained the situation when i took mandy over to her. she says to take all the time you need to heal. your job will be waiting when you"re ready."
"thank you," she murmured as relief filled her.
he was going to make her cry. after breaking down yesterday, she"d sworo not to cry again, but she could feel the tears forming. maybe it was all going to work out. she"d been so afraid her life would never be normal again. six months ago, when the police had shown up at her door, her world had collapsed. slowly, so slowly, she was getting it back together. they were going to make it. they had to.
before she could ask him what else rebecca had said, the door pushed open and an attractive nurse came into the room with mandy in tow."
"we do not allow children in this ward," she said sternly, then grinned. " so i"m bringing her in here to get her out from underfoot."
mandy held her bear in one hand and clutched a balloon giraffe in the other. there was chocolate icing on her cheek and she was dressed in a cute pink-aad-white shorts outfit that elizabeth had never seen before.
"mommy!" when the nurse let her go, the little girl rushed toward her. travis walked over and lifted her until she was sitting on the bed.
"travis haynes, i might have known i"d find you here with one of our prettiest patients," the nurse said as she paused by the door."
"you know me, pam. i can"t resist a female in distress."
pam laughed, then looked at elizabeth. "you watch out for this one. he"s our resident heartbreaker."
"i"ll be careful," elizabeth said, knowing she wasn"t ever going to get involved with any man, let alone one as charming and good-looking as travis.
"you"ve got fifteen minutes," pam said. "then my supervisor gets back and mandy will have to leave."
elizabeth nodded and the woman shut the door.
"i missed you, mommy," mandy said, reclaiming her attention.
"i missed you, too." elizabeth held out her arms.
mandy dropped the bear and the balloon animal, and slipped next to her to snuggle close. despite the tangle of iv"s and the pressure on her incision as she leaned toward her daughter, elizabeth wrapped her arms around her and held on, wishing she never had to let go. mandy"s warm body felt small and fragile cuddling against her, and so very familiar. elizabeth stroked her head, then bent down and kissed her cheek.
"how are you doing, sweets?" she asked softly.
"there was a clown and he made me this: she picked up her giraffe. the rubber squeaked as she held it and she laughed. bright blue eyes met her own. sam"s eyes, she thought with regret. mandy had her smile and her nose, but her eyes and the rest of her coloring was all sam"s. it made it hard to forget her daughter"s father. but forget him, she would. she"d promised herself.
mandy laughed and tossed the balloon animal in the air, then wiggled to sit back and look up at her. "i had a cupcake"
"so i see." she wiped at the frosting. "sheriff haynes said you spent the night at his house."
mandy nodded vigorously and grinned. "louise made us another dinner. then we had doughnuts for dessert." she sounded faintly scandalized, but quite delighted. "she gave me a bath but he read me a story. about nines and their end."
elizabeth looked up at travis who had returned to his perch on the windowsill. "nines and their end?"
he cleared his throat. "you sort of had to be there. the san francisco 49ers are looking for a decent tight end. i don"t have any children"s books in the house, so i read the sports page."
she grinned. "whatever works: "
"and we played with trains," mandy said.
"i keep them for my nephews," travis added helpfully.
"and i got a new nightgown with a bunny on the front from that nice lady, becca."