"No. No. I"m afraid it doesn"t rush. And for all the blaze--"
"Well, that"s what I"m in love with, the rush, Roly, and the blaze. And I"m in love, _for the first time_" (she underlined it) "with a man."
"Come," I said, "come."
"Oh, _I_ know. I know you"re thinking of Lawson Young and d.i.c.key Harper."
I was.
"Well, but they don"t count. I wasn"t in love with Lawson. It was his career. If he hadn"t been a Cabinet Minister; if he hadn"t been so desperately gone on me; if he hadn"t said it all depended on me--"
"Yes," I said. "I can see how it would go to your head."
"It didn"t. It went to my heart." She was quite serious and solemn. "I held him in my hands, Roly. And he held England. I couldn"t let him drop, could I? I had to think of England."
It was wonderful--Lena Wrace thinking that she thought of England.
I said "Of course. But for your political foresight and your virtuous action we should never have had Tariff Reform."
"We should never have had anything," she said. "And look at him now.
Look how he"s crumpled up since he left me. It"s pitiful."
"It is. I"m afraid Mrs. Withers doesn"t care about Tariff Reform."
"Poor thing. No. Don"t imagine I"m jealous of her, Roly. She hasn"t got him. I mean she hasn"t got what I had."
"All the same he left you. And you weren"t ecstatically happy with him the last year or two."
"I daresay I"d have done better to have married you, if that"s what you mean."
It wasn"t what I meant. But she"d always entertained the illusion that she could marry me any minute if she wanted to; and I hadn"t the heart to take it from her since it seemed to console her for the way, the really very infamous way, he had left her.
So I said, "Much better."
"It would have been so nice, so safe," she said. "But I never played for safety." Then she made one of her quick turns.
"Frances Archdale ought to marry you. Why doesn"t she?"
"How should I know? Frances"s reasons would be exquisite. I suppose I didn"t appeal to her sense of fitness."
"Sense of fiddlesticks. She just hasn"t got any temperament, that girl."
"Any temperament for me, you mean."
"I mean pure cussedness," said Lena.
"Perhaps. But, you see, if I were unfortunate enough she probably _would_ marry me. If I lost my eyesight or a leg or an arm, if I couldn"t sell any more pictures--"
"If you can understand Frances, you can understand me. That"s how I felt about d.i.c.key. I wasn"t in love with him. I was sorry for him. I knew he"d go to pieces if I wasn"t there to keep him together. Perhaps it"s the maternal instinct."
"Perhaps," I said. Lena"s reasons for her behaviour amused me; they were never exquisite, like Frances"s, but she was anxious that you should think they were.
"So you see," she said, "they don"t count, and Norry really _is_ the first."
I reflected that he would be also, probably, the last. She had, no doubt, to make the most of him. But it was preposterous that she should waste so much good pa.s.sion; preposterous that she should imagine for one moment she could keep the fellow. I had to warn her.
"Of course, if you care to take the risk of him--" I said. "He won"t stick to you, Lena."
"Why shouldn"t he?"
I couldn"t tell her. I couldn"t say, "Because you"re thirteen ears older than he is." That would have been cruel. And it would have been absurd, too, when she could so easily look not a year older than his desiccated thirty-four.
It only took a little success like this, her actual triumph in securing him.
So I said, "Because it isn"t in him. He"s a bounder and a rotter."
Which was true.
"Not a bounder, Roly dear. His father"s Sir Gilbert Hippisley.
Hippisleys of Leicestershire."
"A moral bounder, Lena. A slimy eel. Slips and wriggles out of things.
You"ll never hold him. You"re not his first affair, you know."
"I don"t care," she said, "as long as I"m his last."
I could only stand and stare at that; her monstrous a.s.sumption of his fidelity. Why, he couldn"t even be faithful to one art. He wrote as well as he painted, and he acted as well as he wrote, and he was never really happy with a talent till he had debauched it.
"The others," she said, "don"t bother me a bit. He"s slipped and wriggled out of their clutches, if you like.... Yet there was something about all of them. Distinguished. That"s it. He"s so awfully fine and fastidious about the women he takes up with. It flatters you, makes you feel so sure of yourself. You know he wouldn"t take up with _you_ if you weren"t fine and fastidious, too--one of his great ladies.... You think I"m a sn.o.b, Roly?"
"I think you don"t mind coming _after_ Lady Willersey."
"Well," she said, "if you _have_ to come after somebody--"
"True." I asked her if she was giving me her reasons.
"Yes, if you want them. _I_ don"t. I"m content to love out of all reason."
And she did. She loved extravagantly, unintelligibly, out of all reason; yet irrefutably. To the end. There"s a sort of reason in that, isn"t there? She had the sad logic of her pa.s.sions.
She got up and gathered herself together in her sombre, violent beauty and in its glittering sheath, her red fox skins, all her savage splendour, leaving a scent of crushed orris root in the warmth of her lair.
Well, she managed to hold him, tight, for a year, fairly intact. I can"t for the life of me imagine how she could have cared for the fellow, with his face all dried and frayed with make-up. There was something lithe and sinuous about him that may, of course, have appealed to her. And I can understand his infatuation. He was decadent, exhausted; and there would be moments when he found her primitive violence stimulating, before it wore him out.
They kept up the _menage_ for two astounding years.
Well, not so very astounding, if you come to think of it. There was Lena"s money, left her by old Weinberger, her maternal uncle. You"ve got to reckon with Lena"s money. Not that she, poor soul, ever reckoned with it; she was absolutely free from that taint, and she couldn"t conceive other people reckoning. Only, instinctively, she knew. She knew how to hold Hippisley. She knew there were things he couldn"t resist, things like wines and motor cars he could be faithful to. From the very beginning she built for permanence, for eternity. She took a house in Avenue Road with a studio for Hippisley in the garden; she bought a motor car and engaged an inestimable cook. Lena"s dinners, in those years, were exquisite affairs, and she took care to ask the right people, people who would be useful to Hippisley, dealers whom old Weinberger had known, and journalists and editors and publishers. And all his friends and her own; even friends" friends. Her hospitality was boundless and eccentric, and Hippisley liked that sort of thing. He thrived in a liberal air, an air of gorgeous spending, though he sported a supercilious smile at the _fioritura_, the luscious excess of it. He had never had too much, poor devil, of his own. I"ve seen the little fellow swaggering about at her parties, with his sharp, frayed face, looking fine and fastidious, safeguarding himself with twinklings and gestures that gave the dear woman away. I"ve seen him, in goggles and a magnificent fur-lined coat, shouting to her chauffeur, giving counter orders to her own, while she sat snuggling up in the corner of the car, smiling at his mastery.
It went on till poor Lena was forty-nine. Then, as she said, she began to "shake in her shoes." I told her it didn"t matter so long as she didn"t let him see her shaking. That depressed her, because she knew she couldn"t hide it; there was nothing secret in her nature; she had always let "them" see. And they were bothering her--"the others"--more than "a bit." She was jealous of every one of them, of any woman he said more than five words to. Jealous of the models, first of all, before she found out that they didn"t matter; he was so used to them.
She would stick there, in his studio, while they sat, until one day he got furious and turned her out of it. But she"d seen enough to set her mind at rest. He was fine and fastidious, and the models were all "common."