In June, the lizards hang listlessly on the walls, scanning their horizon in vain. Insects seldom show up-either the heat has killed them, or they are sleeping and breeding in cracks in the plaster. The lizards wait-and wait . . .
All Pipalnagar is waiting for its release from the oppressive heat of June.
One day clouds loom up on the horizon, growing rapidly into enormous towers. A faint breeze springs up. Soon it is a wind, which brings with it the first raindrops. This is the moment everyone is waiting for. People run out of their chawls and houses to take in the fresh breeze and the scent of those first raindrops on the parched, dusty earth.
Underground, in their cracks and holes, the insects are moving. Termites and white ants, which have been sleeping through the hot season, emerge from their lairs. They have work ahead of them.
Now, on the second or third night of the monsoon, comes the great yearly flight of the insects into the cool brief freedom of the night. Out of every crack, from under the roots of trees, huge winged ants emerge, at first fluttering about heavily, on this the first and last flight of their lives. At night there is only one direction in which they can fly-towards the light; towards the electric bulbs and smoky kerosene lamps that illuminate Pipalnagar.
The street lamp opposite the bus stop, beneath my room, attracts a ma.s.sive quivering swarm of clumsy termites, which give the impression of one thick, slowly revolving body.
The first frog has arrived and comes hopping on to the balcony to pause beneath the electric bulb. All he has to do is gobble, as the insects fall about him.
This is the hour of the lizards. Now there are rewards for those days of patient waiting. Plying their sticky pink tongues, they devour the insects as fast as they come. For hours they cram their stomachs, knowing that such a feast will not be theirs again for another year. How wasteful nature is . . . Through the whole hot season the insect world prepares for this flight out of darkness into light, and not one of them survives its freedom.
As most of my writing is done at night and much of my sleeping by day, it often happens that at about midnight I put down my pen and go out for a walk. In Pipalnagar this is a pleasant time for a walk, provided you are not taken for a burglar. There is the smell of jasmine in the air, the moonlight shining on sandy stretches of wasteland, and a silence broken only by the hideous bellow of the chowkidar, or night-watchman.
This is the person who, employed by the residents of our Mohalla, keeps guard over us at night, and walks the roads calling like a jackal: "Khabardar!" (Beware) for the benefit of prospective evil-doers. Apart from keeping half the population awake, he is successful in warning thieves of his presence.
The other night, in the course of a midnight stroll I encountered our chowkidar near a dark corner, and wished him a good evening. He leapt into the air like a startled rabbit, and immediately shouted "Khabardar!" as though this were some magic word that would bring me down on my knees begging for mercy.
"It"s quite all right," I a.s.sured him. "I"m only one of your clients."
The chowkidar laughed nervously and said he was glad to hear it; he hoped I didn"t mind his shouting "Khabardar" at me, but these were grim times and robbers were on the increase.
He said yes, there were probably quite a few of them at work this very night. Had he ever tried creeping up on them quietly? He might catch a few that way.
But why should he catch them, the chowkidar wanted to know. It was his business to frighten them away. He could do that better by roaring defiantly on the roads than by accosting them on someone"s premises-violence must be avoided, if he could help it.
"Besides," he said, "the people who live here like me to shout at night. It makes them feel safe, knowing that I am on guard. And if I didn"t shout "Khabardar" every few minutes they would think I had fallen asleep, and I would be dismissed."
This was a logical argument. I asked him what he would do if, by accident, he encountered a gang of thieves. He said he would keep shouting "Khabardar" until the people came out of their houses to help him. I said I doubted very much if they would come out of their houses, but wished him luck all the same, and continued with my walk.
Every five minutes or so I heard his cry, followed by a "Khabardar" which grew fainter until the chowkidar had reached the far side of the Mohalla. I thought it would be a good idea to give him a helping hand from my side, so I cupped my hands to my mouth and shouted, "Khabardar, Khabardar!"
It worked like magic.
Three dark figures scrambled over a neighbouring wall and fled down the empty road. I shouted "Khabardar" a second time, and they ran faster. Imagine the thieves"confusion when they were met by more "Khabardars" in front, coming from the chowkidar, and realized that there were now two chowkidars operating in the Mohalla.
On those nights when sleep was elusive we left the room and walked for miles around Pipalnagar. It was generally about midnight that we became restless. The walls of the room would give out all the heat they had absorbed during the day, and to lie awake sweating in the dark only gave rise to morbid and depressing thoughts.
In our singlets and pyjamas Suraj and I would walk barefooted through the empty Mohalla, over the cooling brick pavements, until we were out of the bazaar and crossing the Maidan, our feet sinking into the springy dew-fresh gra.s.s. The Maidan was broad and s.p.a.cious, and the star-swept sky seemed to meet each end of the plain.
Then out of the town, through lantana scrub, till we came to the dry river-bed, where we walked amongst rocks and boulders, sitting down occasionally, while great h.o.r.n.y lizards watched us from between the stones.
Across the river-bed fields of maize stretched away for a few miles, until there came a dry region, where thorns and a few bent trees grew, the earth splitting up in jagged cracks like a jigsaw puzzle; and where water had been, the skin was peeling off the earth in great flat pancakes. Dotting the landscape were old abandoned brick kilns, and it was said that thieves met there at nights, in the trenches around the kilns; but we never saw any.
When it rained heavily the hollows filled up with water. Suraj and I came to one of these places to bathe and swim. There was an island in the middle of one of the hollows, and on this small mound stood the ruins of a hut, where a night-watchman once lived and looked after the bricks at night.
We swam out to the island, which was only a few yards away. There was a gra.s.sy patch in front of the hut, and here we lay and sunned ourselves in the early morning, until it became too hot. We would oil and ma.s.sage each other"s bodies, and wrestle on the gra.s.s.
Though I was heavier than Suraj, and my chest was as sound as a new drum, he had a lot of power in his long arms and legs and often pinioned me about the waist with his bony knees or fastened me with his strong fingers.
Once while we wrestled on the new monsoon gra.s.s, I felt his body go tense, as I strained to press his back to the ground. He stiffened, his thigh jerked against me, and his legs began to twitch. I knew that he had a fit coming on, but I was unable to extricate myself from his arms, which gripped me more tightly as the fit took possession of him. Instead of struggling, I lay still, and tried desperately to absorb some of his anguish; by embracing him, I felt my own body might draw some of the agitation to itself; it was only a strange fancy, but I felt that it made a difference, that by consciously sharing his unconscious condition I was alleviating it. At other times, I have known this same feeling. When Kamla was burning with a fever, I had thought that by taking her in my arms I could draw the fever from her, absorb the heat of her body, transfer to hers the coolness of my own.
Now I pressed against Suraj, and whispered soothingly and lovingly into his ear, though I knew he had no idea what I could be saying; and then when I noticed his mouth working, I thrust by hand in sideways to prevent him from biting his tongue.
But so violent was the convulsion that his teeth bit into the flesh of my palm and ground against my knuckles. I gasped with pain and tried to jerk my hand away, but it was impossible to loosen the grip of his teeth. So I closed my eyes and counted one, two, three, four, five, six, seven-until I felt his body relax again and his jaws give way slowly.
My hand had blood on it, and was trembling: I bound it in a handkerchief, before Suraj came to himself.
We walked back to the town without talking much. He looked depressed and hopeless, though I knew he would be buoyant again before long. I kept my hand concealed beneath my singlet, and he was too dejected to notice this. It was only at night, when he returned from his cla.s.ses, that he noticed it was bandaged, and then I told him I had slipped on the road, cutting my hand on some broken gla.s.s.
Thirteen.
Rain upon Pipalnagar: and until the rain stops, Pipalnagar is fresh and clean and alive. The children run out of their houses, glorying in their nakedness. They are innocent and unashamed. Older children, by no means innocent, but by all means unashamed, romp through the town, inviting the shocked disapproval of their elders and, presumably betters.
Before we are ten, we are naked and free and unafraid; after ten, we must cloak our manhood, for we are no longer certain that we are men.
The gutters choke, and the Mohalla becomes a mountain stream, coursing merrily down towards the bus stop. And it is at the bus stop that pandemonium breaks loose; for newly-arrived pa.s.sengers panic at sight of the sea of mud and rain water that surrounds them on all sides, and about a hundred tongas and cycle-rickshaws try all at once to take care of a score of pa.s.sengers. Result: only half the pa.s.sengers find a conveyance, while the other half find themselves knee-deep in Pipalnagar mire.
Pitamber has, of course, succeeded in acquiring as his pa.s.senger the most attractive and frightened young woman in the bus, and proceeds to show off his skill and daring by taking her home by the most devious and uncomfortable route, and when she gets her feet covered with mud, wipes them with the seedy red cloth that he ties about his neck.
The rain swirls over the trees and roofs of the town, and the parched earth soaks it up, exuding a fragrance that comes only once in a year, the fragrance of quenched earth, the most exhilarating of all smells.
And in my room, too, I am battling against the elements, for the door will not shut against the breeze, and the rain is sweeping in through the opening and soaking my cot.
When eventually I succeed in barricading the floor, I find the roof leaking, and the water trickling down the walls, obliterating the dusty designs I have made on the plaster with my foot. I place a tin here and a mug there, and then, satisfied that everything is under control, sit on my cot and watch the roof-tops through my window.
But there is a loud banging on the door. It flies open with the pressure, and there is Suraj, standing on the threshold, shaking himself like a wet dog. Coming in, he strips off all his clothes, and then he dries himself with a torn threadbare towel, and sits shivering on the bed while I make frantic efforts to close the door again.
"You are cold, Suraj, I will make you some tea."
He nods, forgetting to smile for once, and I know his mind is elsewhere, in one of a thousand places and all of them dreams.
When I have got the fire going, and placed the kettle on the red hot coals, I sit down beside Suraj and put my arm around his bony shoulders and dream a little with him.
"One day I will write a book," I tell him. "Not a murder story, but a real book, about real people. Perhaps it will be about you and me and Pipalnagar. And then we will break away from Pipalnagar, fly away like eagles, and our troubles will be over and fresh new troubles will begin. I do not mind difficulties, as long as they are new difficulties."
"First I must pa.s.s my exams," said Suraj. "Without a certificate one can do nothing, go nowhere."
"Who taught you such nonsense? While you are preparing for your exams, I will be writing my book. That"s it! I will start tonight. It is an auspicious night, the first night of the monsoon. Let us start tonight."
And by the time we had drunk our tea it was evening and growing dark. The light did not come on; a tree must have fallen across the wires. So I lit a candle and placed it on the window-sill (the rain and wind had ceased), and while the candle spluttered in the steady stillness, Suraj opened his books and with one hand on a book, and the other playing with his toes-this helped him to read-he began his studies.
I took the ink down from the shelf, and finding the bottle empty, added a little rain-water to it from one of the mugs. I sat down beside Suraj and began to write; but the pen was no good, and made blotches all over and I didn"t really know what to write about, though I was full of writing just then.
So I began to look at Suraj instead; at his eyes, hidden in the shadows, his hands in the candle light; and felt his breathing and the slight movement of his lips as he read shortly to himself.
A gust of wind came through the window, and the candle went out. I swore softly in Punjabi.
"Never mind," said Suraj, "I was tired of reading."
"But I was writing."
"Your book?"
"No, a letter. . . ."
"I have never known you to write letters, except to publishers asking them for money. To whom were you writing?"
"To you," I said. "And I will send you the letter one day, perhaps when we are no longer together."
"I will wait for it, then. I will not read it now."
Fourteen.
At ten o"clock on a wet night Pipalnagar had its first earthquake in thirty years. It lasted exactly five seconds. A low, ominous rumble was followed by a few quick shudders, and the water surahi jumped off the window-ledge and crashed on the floor.
By the time Suraj and I had tumbled out of the room, the shock was over; but panic prevailed, and the entire population of the Mohalla was out in the street. One old man of seventy leapt from a first floor balcony and broke his neck; a large crowd had gathered round his body. Several women had fainted. On the other hand, many were shrieking and running about. Only a few days back astrologers had predicted the end of the world, and everyone was convinced that this was only the first of a series of earthquakes.
At temples and other places of worship prayer meetings were held. People moved about the street, pointing out the cracks that had appeared in their houses. Some of these cracks had, of course, been there for years, and were only now being discovered.
At midnight, men and women were still about; and, as though to justify their prudence, another, milder tremor made itself felt. The roof of an old house, weakened by many heavy monsoons, was encouraged to give way, and fell with a suitably awe-inspiring crash. Fortunately no one was beneath it. Everyone was soaking wet by now, as the rain had come down harder, but no one dared venture indoors, especially after a roof had fallen in.
Worse still, the electricity failed and the entire Mohalla plunged into darkness. People huddled together, fearing the worst, while the rain came down incessantly.
"More people will die of pneumonia than earthquake," observed Suraj. "Let"s go for a walk, it is better than standing about doing nothing."
We rolled up our pyjamas and went splashing through the puddles. On the outskirts of the town we met Pitamber dancing in the middle of the road. He was very merry, and quite drunk.
"Why are you dancing in the road?" I asked.
"Because I am happy, that"s why," said Pitamber.
"And what makes you so happy, my friend?"
"Because I am dancing in the road," he replied.
We began walking home again. The rain had stopped. There was a break in the clouds and a pale moon appeared. The neem trees gave out a strong, sweet smell.
There were no more tremors that night. When we got back to the Mohalla, the sky was lighter, and people were beginning to move into their houses again.
We lay on our island, in the shade of a thorn bush, watching a pair of sarus cranes on the opposite bank prancing and capering around each other; tall, stork-like birds, with naked red heads and long red legs.
"We might be saruses in some future life," I said.
"I hope so," said Suraj. "Even if it means being born on a lower level. I would like to be a beautiful white bird. I am tired of being a man, but I do not want to leave the world altogether. It is very lovely, sometimes."
"I would like to be a sacred bird," I said. "I don"t wish to be shot at."
Aren"t saruses sacred? Look how they enjoy themselves."
"They are making love. That is their princ.i.p.al occupation apart from feeding themselves. And they are so devoted to each other that if one bird is killed the other will haunt the scene for weeks, calling distractedly. They have even been known to pine away and die of grief. That"s why they are held in such affection by people in villages."
"So many birds are sacred."
We saw a bluejay swoop down from a tree-a flash of blue-and carry off a gra.s.shopper.
Both the bluejay and Lord Siva are called Nilkanth. Siva has a blue throat, like the bluejay, because out of compa.s.sion for the human race he swallowed a deadly poison which was meant to destroy the world. He kept the poison in his throat and would not let it go any further."
"Are squirrels sacred?" asked Suraj, curiously watching one fumbling with a piece of bread which we had thrown away.
"Krishna loved them. He would take them in his arms and stroke them with his long, gentle fingers. That is why they have four dark lines down their backs from head to tail. Krishna was very dark-skinned, and the lines are the marks of his fingers."
"We should be gentle to animals. . . . Why do we kill so many of them?"
"It is not so important that we do not kill them-it is important that we respect them. We must acknowledge their right to live on this earth. Everywhere, birds and animals are finding it more difficult to survive, because we are destroying their homes. They have to keep moving as the trees and the green gra.s.s keep disappearing."
Flowers in Pipalnagar-do they exist?
I have known flowers in poetry, and as a child I knew a garden in Lucknow where there were fields of flowers, and another garden where only roses grew. In the fields round Pipalnagar I have seen dandelions that evaporate when you breathe on them, and sometimes a yellow b.u.t.tercup nestling among thistles. But in our Mohalla, there are no flowers except one. This is a marigold growing out of a crack in my balcony.
I have removed the plaster from the base of the plant, and filled in a little earth which I water every morning. The plant is healthy, and sometimes it produces a little orange marigold, which I pluck and give away before it dies.