"I wish I could believe it. But as I have told you, Jasper is not a good man. He drinks and smokes and play-acts and makes a G.o.d of stylish clothes-"
"Good Lord, that"s no reason for jumping to the conclusion that he"s an embezzler!"
"I pray you may be right. But meanwhile I wish to give you any a.s.sistance I can. I shall make it my sole duty to see that my brother is brought to justice if it proves that he is guilty."
"Good o" you," mumbled the president. Despite this example of John"s rigid honor he could not get himself to like the man. John was standing beside him, thrusting his stupid face into his.
The president pushed his chair a foot farther away and said disagreeably: "As a matter of fact we were thinking of searching your house. If I remember, you live in Rosebank?"
"Yes. And of course I shall be glad to have you search every inch of it.
Or anything else I can do. I feel that I share fully with my twin brother in this unspeakable sin. I"ll turn over the key of my house to you at once. There is also a shed at the back, where Jasper used to keep his automobile when he came to see me." He produced a large, rusty, old-fashioned door key and held it out, adding: "The address is 27 Humbert Avenue, Rosebank."
"Oh, it won"t be necessary, I guess," said the president, somewhat shamed, irritably waving off the key.
"But I just want to help somehow! What can I do? Who is-in the language of the newspapers-who is the detective on the case? I"ll give him any help-"
"Tell you what you do: Go see Mr. Scandling, of the Mercantile Trust and Bonding Company, and tell him all you know."
"I shall. I take my brother"s crime on my shoulders-otherwise I"d be committing the sin of Cain. You are giving me a chance to try to expiate our joint sin, and, as Brother Jeremiah Bodfish was wont to say, it is a blessing to have an opportunity to expiate a sin, no matter how painful the punishment may seem to be to the mere physical being. As I may have told you I am an accepted member of the Soul Hope Fraternity, and though we are free from cant and dogma it is our firm belief-"
Then for ten dreary minutes John Holt sermonized; quoted forgotten books and quaint, ungenerous elders; twisted bitter pride and clumsy mysticism into a fanatical spider web. The president was a churchgoer, an ardent supporter of missionary funds, for forty years a pew-holder at St.
Simeon"s Church, but he was alternately bored to a chill shiver and roused to wrath against this self-righteous zealot.
When he had rather rudely got rid of John Holt he complained to himself: "Curse it, I oughtn"t to, but I must say I prefer Jasper the sinner to John the saint. Uff! What a smell of damp cellars the fellow has! He must spend all his time picking potatoes. Say! By thunder, I remember that Jasper had the infernal nerve to tell me once that if he ever robbed the bank I was to call John in. I know why, now! John is the kind of egotistical fool that would muddle up any kind of a systematic search. Well, Jasper, sorry, but I"m not going to have anything more to do with John than I can help!"
John had gone to the Mercantile Trust and Bonding Company, had called on Mr. Scandling, and was now wearying him by a detailed and useless account of Jasper"s early years and recent vices. He was turned over to the detective employed by the bonding company to find Jasper. The detective was a hard, noisy man, who found John even more tedious. John insisted on his coming out to examine the house in Rosebank, and the detective did so-but sketchily, trying to escape. John spent at least five minutes in showing him the shed where Jasper had sometimes kept his car.
He also attempted to interest the detective in his precious but spotty books. He unlocked one section of the case, dragged down a four-volume set of sermons and started to read them aloud.
The detective interrupted: "Yuh, that"s great stuff, but I guess we aren"t going to find your brother hiding behind those books!"
The detective got away as soon as possible, after insistently explaining to John that if they could use his a.s.sistance they would let him know.
"If I can only expiate-"
"Yuh, sure, that"s all right!" wailed the detective, fairly running toward the gate.
John made one more visit to Vernon that day. He called on the chief of city police. He informed the chief that he had taken the bonding company"s detective through his house; but wouldn"t the police consent to search it also? He wanted to expiate- The chief patted John on the back, advised him not to feel responsible for his brother"s guilt and begged: "Skip along now-very busy."
As John walked to the Soul Hope meeting that evening dozens of people murmured that it was his brother who had robbed the Lumber National Bank. His head was bowed with the shame. At the meeting he took Jasper"s sin upon himself, and prayed that Jasper would be caught and receive the blessed healing of punishment. The others begged John not to feel that he was guilty-was he not one of the Soul Hope brethren who alone in this wicked and perverse generation were a.s.sured of salvation?
On Thursday, on Sat.u.r.day morning, on Tuesday and on Friday John went into the city to call on the president of the bank and the detective.
Twice the president saw him, and was infinitely bored by his sermons.
The third time he sent word that he was out. The fourth time he saw John, but curtly explained that if John wanted to help them the best thing he could do was to stay away.
The detective was "out" all four times.
John smiled meekly and ceased to try to help them. Dust began to gather on certain candy boxes on the lower shelf of his bookcase, save for one of them, which he took out now and then. Always after he had taken it out a man with faded brown hair and a wrinkled black suit, signing himself R. J. Smith, would send a fair-sized money order from the post office at South Vernon to John Holt, at Rosebank-as he had been doing for more than six months. These money orders could not have amounted to more than twenty-five dollars a week, but that was even more than an ascetic like John Holt needed. By day John sometimes cashed these at the Rosebank post office, but usually, as had been his custom, he cashed them at his favorite grocery when he went out in the evening.
In conversation with the commuter neighbor who every evening walked about and smoked an after-dinner cigar in the yard at the right John was frank about the whole lamentable business of his brother"s defalcation.
He wondered, he said, if he had not shut himself up with his studies too much, and neglected his brother. The neighbor ponderously advised John to get out more. John let himself be persuaded, at least to the extent of taking a short walk every afternoon and of letting his literary solitude be disturbed by the delivery of milk, meat and groceries. He also went to the public library, and in the reference room glanced at books on Central and South America-as though he was planning to go south, some day.
But he continued his religious studies. It may be doubted if previous to the embezzlement John had worked very consistently on his book about Revelation. All that the world had ever seen of it was a jumble of quotations from theological authorities. Presumably the crime of his brother shocked him into more concentrated study, more patient writing.
For during the year after his brother"s disappearance-a year in which the bonding company gradually gave up the search and came to believe that Jasper was dead-John became fanatically absorbed in somewhat nebulous work. The days and nights drifted together in meditation in which he lost sight of realities, and seemed through the clouds of the flesh to see flashes from the towered cities of the spirit.
It has been a.s.serted that when Jasper Holt acted a role he veritably lived it. No one can ever determine how great an actor was lost in the smug bank teller. To him were imperial triumphs denied, yet was he not without material reward. For playing his most subtle part he received ninety-seven thousand dollars. It may be that he earned it. Certainly for the risk entailed it was but a fair payment. Jasper had meddled with the mystery of personality, and was in peril of losing all consistent purpose, of becoming a Wandering Jew of the spirit, a strangled body walking.
IV
The sharp-pointed willow leaves had twisted and fallen, after the dreary rains of October. Bark had peeled from the willow trunks, leaving gashes of bare wood that was a wet and sickly yellow. Through the denuded trees bulked the solid stone back of John Holt"s house. The patches of earth were greasy between the tawny knots of gra.s.s stems. The bricks of the walk were always damp now. The world was hunched up in this pervading chill.
As melancholy as the sick earth seemed the man who in a slaty twilight paced the willow walk. His step was slack, his lips moved with the intensity of his meditation. Over his wrinkled black suit and bleak shirt bosom was a worn overcoat, the velvet collar turned green. He was considering.
"There"s something to all this. I begin to see-I don"t know what it is I do see! But there"s lights-supernatural world that makes food and bed seem ridiculous. I am-I really am beyond the law! I made my own law! Why shouldn"t I go beyond the law of vision and see the secrets of life? But I sinned, and I must repent-some day. I need not return the money. I see now that it was given me so that I could lead this life of contemplation. But the ingrat.i.tude to the president, to the people who trusted me! Am I but the most miserable of sinners, and as the blind?
Voices-I hear conflicting voices-some praising me for my courage, some rebuking-"
He knelt on the slimy black surface of a wooden bench beneath the willows, and as dusk clothed him round about he prayed. It seemed to him that he prayed not in words but in vast confusing dreams-the words of a language larger than human tongues. When he had exhausted himself he slowly entered the house. He locked the door. There was nothing definite of which he was afraid, but he was never comfortable with the door unlocked.
By candle light he prepared his austere supper-dry toast, an egg, cheap green tea with thin milk. As always-as it had happened after every meal, now, for eighteen months-he wanted a cigarette when he had eaten, but did not take one. He paced into the living room and through the long still hours of the evening he read an ancient book, all footnotes and cross references, about The Numerology of the Prophetic Books, and the Number of the Beast. He tried to make notes for his own book on Revelation-that scant pile of sheets covered with writing in a small finicky hand. Thousands of other sheets he had covered; through whole nights he had written; but always he seemed with tardy pen to be racing after thoughts that he could never quite catch, and most of what he had written he had savagely burned.
But some day he would make a masterpiece! He was feeling toward the greatest discovery that mortal men had encountered. Everything, he had determined, was a symbol-not just this holy sign and that, but all physical manifestations. With frightened exultation he tried his new power of divination. The hanging lamp swung tinily. He ventured: "If the arc of that moving radiance touches the edge of the bookcase, then it will be a sign that I am to go to South America, under an entirely new disguise, and spend my money."
He shuddered. He watched the lamp"s unbearably slow swing. The moving light almost touched the bookcase. He gasped. Then it receded.
It was a warning; he quaked. Would he never leave this place of brooding and of fear-which he had thought so clever a refuge? He suddenly saw it all.
"I ran away and hid in a prison! Man isn"t caught by justice-he catches himself!"
Again he tried. He speculated as to whether the number of pencils on the table was greater or less than five. If greater, then he had sinned; if less, then he was veritably beyond the law. He began to lift books and papers, looking for pencils. He was coldly sweating with the suspense of the test.
Suddenly he cried "Am I going crazy?"
He fled to his prosaic bedroom. He could not sleep. His brain was smoldering with confused inklings of mystic numbers and hidden warnings.
He woke from a half sleep more vision haunted than any waking thought, and cried: "I must go back and confess! But I can"t! I can"t, when I was too clever for them! I can"t go back and let them win. I won"t let those fools just sit tight and still catch me!"
It was a year and a half since Jasper had disappeared. Sometimes it seemed a month and a half; sometimes gray centuries. John"s will power had been shrouded with curious puttering studies; long heavy-breathing sittings with the ouija board on his lap, midnight hours when he had fancied that tables had tapped and crackling coals had spoken. Now that the second autumn of his seclusion was creeping into winter he was conscious that he had not enough initiative to carry out his plans for going to South America. The summer before he had boasted to himself that he would come out of hiding and go south, leaving such a twisty trail as only he could make. But-oh, it was too much trouble. He hadn"t the joy in play-acting which had carried his brother Jasper through his preparations for flight.
He had killed Jasper Holt, and for a miserable little pile of paper money he had become a moldy recluse!
He hated his loneliness, but still more did he hate his only companions, the members of the Soul Hope Fraternity-that pious shrill seamstress, that surly carpenter, that tight-lipped housekeeper, that old shouting man with the unseemly frieze of whiskers. They were so unimaginative.
Their meetings were all the same; the same persons rose in the same order and made the same intimate announcements to the Deity that they alone were his elect.
At first it had been an amusing triumph to be accepted as the most eloquent among them, but that had become commonplace, and he resented their daring to be familiar with him, who was, he felt, the only man of all men living who beyond the illusions of the world saw the strange beat.i.tude of higher souls.
It was at the end of November, during a Wednesday meeting at which a red-faced man had for a half hour maintained that he couldn"t possibly sin, that the c.u.mulative ennui burst in John Holt"s brain. He sprang up.