"It is scarcely a pleasant journey at this time of night," I remarked.
"Indeed, no," she a.s.sented. "I wonder if you know my name? I am Mrs.
Smith-Lessing, of Braster Grange. And you?"
"My name is Guy Ducaine," I told her. "I live at a small cottage called the "Brand.""
"That charming little place you can just see from the sands?" she exclaimed. "I thought the Duke"s head-keeper lived there."
"It was a keeper"s lodge before the Duke was kind enough to let it to me," I told her.
She nodded.
"It is a very delightful abode," she murmured.
She picked up her book, and after turning over the pages aimlessly for a few minutes, she recommenced to read. I followed her example; but when a little later on I glanced across in her direction, I found that her eyes were fixed upon me, and that her novel lay in her lap.
"My book is so stupid," she said apologetically. "I find, Mr.
Ducaine," she added with sudden earnestness, "the elements of a much stranger story closer at hand."
"That," I remarked, laying down my own book, and looking steadily across at her, "sounds enigmatic."
"I think," she said, "that I am very foolish to talk to you at all about it. If you know who I am, you are probably armed against me at all points. You will weigh and measure my words, you will say to yourself, "Lies, lies, lies!" You will not believe in me or anything I say. And, again, if you do not know, the story is too painful a one for me to tell."
"Then let us both avoid it," I said, reaching again for my paper. "We shall stop at Ipswich in an hour. I will change carriages there."
She turned round in her seat towards the window, as though to hide her face. My own attempt at reading was a farce. I watched her over the top of my paper. She was looking out into the darkness, and she seemed to me to be crying. Every now and then her shoulders heaved convulsively. Suddenly she faced me once more. There were traces of tears on her face; a small lace handkerchief was knotted up in her nervous fingers.
"Oh, I cannot," she exclaimed plaintively. "I cannot sit here alone with you and say nothing. I know that I am judged already. It does not matter. I am your father"s wife, Guy. You owe me at least some recognition of that fact."
"I never knew my father," I said, "except as the cause of my own miserable upbringing and friendless life."
"You never knew him," she answered, "and therefore you believe the worst. He was weak, perhaps, and, exposed to a terrible temptation, he fell! But he was not a bad man. He was never that."
"Do you think, Mrs. Smith-Lessing," I said, struggling to keep my voice firm, though I felt myself trembling, "that this is a profitable discussion for either of us?"
"Why not?" she exclaimed almost fiercely. "You have heard his story from enemies. You have judged him from the report of those who were never his friends. He sinned and he repented. Better and worse men than he have done that. If he were wholly bad, do you believe that after all these years I should care for him still?"
I held my peace. The woman was leaning over towards me now. She seemed to have lost the desire to attract. Her voice had grown sharper and less pleasant, her carefully arranged hair was in some disorder, and the telltale blue veins by her temples and the crow"s feet under her eyes were plainly visible. Her face seemed suddenly to have become pinched and wan, the flaming light in her strangely coloured eyes was a convincing a.s.sertion of her earnestness. She was not acting now, though what lay behind the storm I could not tell.
"You seem afraid to talk to me," she exclaimed. "Why? I have done you no harm!"
"Perhaps not," I answered, "yet I cannot see what we gain by raking up this miserable history. It is both painful and profitless."
"I will say no more," she declared, with a sudden note of dignity in her tone. "I can see that I am judged already in your mind. After all, it does not really matter. No one likes to be thought worse of than they deserve, and women are all--a little foolish. But at least you must answer me one question. I have the right to ask it. You must tell me where he is."
"Where who is?" I asked.
Again her eyes flamed upon inc. Her lips parted a little, and I could see the white glimmer of her teeth.
"Oh, you shall not fence with me like a baby!" she exclaimed. "Tell me, or lie to me, or refuse to tell me! Which is it?"
"Upon my honour," I said, looking at her curiously, "I have no idea whom you mean!"
She looked at inc steadily for several moments, her lips parted, her breath seeming to come sharply between her teeth.
"I mean your father," she said. "Whom else should I mean?"
CHAPTER XX
TWO TO ONE
I looked across at the woman, who was waiting my answer with every appearance of feverish interest.
"What should I know about him?" I said slowly. "I have been told that he is dead. I know no more than that."
She started as though my words had stung her.
"It is not possible!" she exclaimed. "I must have heard of it. When he left me--it was less than three months ago--he seemed better than I had known him for years."
"All my life," I said, "I have understood that my father died by his own hand after his disgrace. To-night for the first time I was told that this was not the fact. I understood, from what my informant said, that he had died recently."
She drew a sharp breath between her teeth, and suddenly struck the cushioned arm of the carriage by her side with her clenched hand.
"It is a lie!" she declared. "Whoever told you so, it is a lie!"
"Do you mean that he is not dead?" I exclaimed. "Do you mean that you have not seen him yourself--within the last few months?" she demanded fiercely. "He left me to come to you on the first day of the New Year."
"I have never seen him to my knowledge in my life," I answered.
She leaned back in her seat, murmuring something to herself which I could not catch. Past-mistress of deceit though she may have been, I was convinced that her consternation at my statement was honest. She did not speak or look at me again for some time. As for me, I sat silent with the horror of a thought. Underneath the rug my limbs were cold and lifeless. I sat looking out of the rain-splashed window into the darkness, with fixed staring eyes, and a hideous fancy in my brain.
Every now and then I thought that I could see it--a white evil face pressed close to the blurred gla.s.s, grinning in upon me. Every shriek of the engine--and there were many just then, for we were pa.s.sing through a network of tunnels--brought beads of moisture on to my forehead, made me start and shake like a criminal. Surely that was a cry! I started in my seat, only to see that my companion, now her old self again, was watching me intently.
"I am afraid," she said softly, "that you are not very strong. The excitement of talking of these things has been too much for you."
"I have never had a day"s illness in my life," I answered. "I am perfectly well."
"I am glad," she said simply. "I must finish what I was telling you.
Your father was continually talking and thinking of you. He knew all about you at college. He knew about your degree, of your cricket and rowing. Lately he began to get restless. He lost sight of you after you left Oxford, and it worried him. There were reasons, as you know, why it was not well for him to come to England, but nevertheless he determined to brave it out. It was to find you that he risked so much.
He left me on New Year"s Day, and I have never heard a word from him since. That is why I came to England."
"The whole reason?" I asked, like a fool.
"The whole reason," she affirmed simply.
"I do not wish to see my father," I said. "If he comes to me I shall tell him so."
"He wants to tell you his story himself," she murmured.