"_Nov. 14._--Composition--a pleasant kind of labor. I fear the love of applause or effect goes a great way. May G.o.d keep me from preaching myself instead of Christ crucified."
"_Jan. 15_, 1834.--Heard of the death of J.S., off the Cape of Good Hope. O G.o.d! how Thou breakest into families! Must not the disease be dangerous, when a tender-hearted surgeon cuts deep into the flesh? How much more when G.o.d is the operator, "who afflicteth not _from his heart_ [[Hebrew: meilivo]], nor grieveth the children of men!" Lam.
3:33."
"_Feb. 23_, Sabbath.--Rose early to seek G.o.d, and found Him whom my soul loveth. Who would not rise early to meet such company? The rains are over and gone. They that sow in tears shall reap in joy."
_Feb. 24._--He writes a letter to one who, he feared, was only sentimental, and not really under a sense of sin. "Is it possible, think you, for a person to be conceited of his miseries? May there not be a deep leaven of pride in telling how desolate and how unfeeling we are?--in brooding over our unearthly pains?--in our being excluded from the unsympathetic world?--in our being the invalids of Christ"s hospital?" He had himself been taught by the Spirit that it is more humbling for us to _take what grace offers_, than to bewail our wants and worthlessness.
Two days after, he records, with thankful astonishment, that for the first time in his life he had been blest to awaken a soul. All who find Christ for themselves are impelled, by the holy necessity of constraining love, to seek the salvation of others. Andrew findeth his brother Peter, and Philip findeth his friend Nathanael. So was it in the case before us. He no sooner knew Christ"s righteousness as his own covering, than he longed to see others clothed in the same spotless robe. And it is peculiarly interesting to read the feelings of one who was yet to be blest in plucking so many brands from the fire, when, for the first time, he saw the Lord graciously employing him in this more than angelic work. We have his own testimony. "_Feb.
26._--After sermon. The precious tidings that a soul has been melted down by the grace of the Saviour. How blessed an answer to prayer, if it be really so! "Can these dry bones live? Lord, Thou knowest." What a blessed thing it is to see the first grievings of the awakened spirit, when it cries, "I cannot see myself a sinner; I cannot pray, for my vile heart wanders!" It has refreshed me more than a thousand sermons. I know not how to thank and admire G.o.d sufficiently for this incipient work. Lord, perfect that which Thou hast begun!" A few days after: "Lord, I thank Thee that Thou hast shown me this marvellous working, though I was but an adoring spectator rather than an instrument."
It is scarcely less interesting, in the case of one so gifted for the work of visiting the careless, and so singularly skilled in ministering the word by the bedside of the dying, to find a record of the occasion when the Lord led him forth to take his first survey of this field of labor. There existed at that time, among some of the students attending the Divinity Hall, a society, the sole object of which was to stir up each other to set apart an hour or two every week for visiting the careless and needy in the most neglected portions of the town. Our rule was, not to subtract anything from our times of study, but to devote to this work an occasional hour in the intervals between different cla.s.ses, or an hour that might otherwise have been given to recreation. All of us felt the work to be trying to the flesh at the outset; but none ever repented of persevering in it. One Sat.u.r.day forenoon, at the close of the usual prayer-meeting, which met in Dr. Chalmers" vestry, we went up together to a district in the Castle Hill. It was Robert"s first near view of the heathenism of his native city, and the effect was enduring.
"_March 3._--Accompanied A.B. in one of his rounds through some of the most miserable habitations I ever beheld. Such scenes I never before dreamed of. Ah! why am I such a stranger to the poor of my native town? I have pa.s.sed their doors thousands of times; I have admired the huge black piles of building, with their lofty chimneys breaking the sun"s rays,--why have I never ventured within? How dwelleth the love of G.o.d in me? How cordial is the welcome even of the poorest and most loathsome to the voice of Christian sympathy! What imbedded ma.s.ses of human beings are huddled together, unvisited by friend or minister!
"No man careth for our souls" is written over every forehead. Awake, my soul! Why should I give hours and days any longer to the vain world, when there is such a world of misery at my very door? Lord, put thine own strength in me; confirm every good resolution; forgive my past long life of uselessness and folly."
He forthwith became one of the society"s most steady members, cultivating a district in the Canongate, teaching a Sabbath school, and distributing the Monthly Visitor, along with Mr. Somerville. His experience there was fitted to give him insight into the sinner"s depravity in all its forms. His first visit in his district is thus noticed: "_March 24._--Visited two families with tolerable success.
G.o.d grant a blessing may go with us! Began in fear and weakness, and in much trembling. May the power be of G.o.d." Soon after, he narrates the following scene:--"Entered the house of ----. Heard her swearing as I came up the stair. Found her storming at three little grandchildren, whom her daughter had left with her. She is a seared, hard-hearted wretch. Read Ezekiel 33. Interrupted by the entrance of her second daughter, furiously demanding her marriage lines. Became more discreet. Promised to come back--never came. Her father-in-law entered, a hideous spectacle of an aged drunkard, demanding money.
Left the house with warnings." Another case he particularly mentions of a sick woman, who, though careless before, suddenly seemed to float into a sea of joy, without being able to give any scriptural account of the change. She continued, I believe, to her death in this state; but he feared it was a subtile delusion of Satan as an angel of light.
One soul, however, was, to all appearance, brought truly to the Rock of Ages during his and his friend"s prayerful visitations. These were first-fruits.
He continues his diary, though often considerable intervals occur in the register of his spiritual state.
"_May 9._--How kindly has G.o.d thwarted me in every instance where I sought to en lave myself! I will learn at least to glory in disappointments."
"_May 10._--At the Communion. Felt less use for the minister than ever. Let the Master of the feast alone speak to my heart." He felt at such times, as many of the Lord"s people have always done, that it is not the addresses of the ministers in serving the table, but the _Supper itself_, that ought to "satiate their souls with fatness."
_May 21._--It is affecting to us to read the following entry:--"This day I attained my twenty-first year. Oh! how long and how worthlessly I have lived, Thou only knowest. _Neff_ died in his thirty-first year; when shall I?"[3]
[3] It is worthy of notice how often the Lord has done much work by a few years of holy labor. In our Church, G. Gillespie and J.
Durham died at thirty-six; Hugh Binning at twenty-six; Andrew Gray when scarcely at twenty-two. Of our witnesses, Patrick Hamilton was cut off at twenty-four, and Hugh M"Kail at twenty-six. In other churches we might mention many, such as John Janeway at twenty-three, David Brainerd at thirty, and Henry Martyn at thirty-two. Theirs was a short life, filled up with usefulness, and crowned with glory. Oh to be as they!
_May 29._--He this day wrote very faithfully, yet very kindly, to one who seemed to him not a believer, and who nevertheless appropriated to herself the _promises_ of G.o.d. "If you are wholly una.s.sured of your being a believer, is it not a contradiction in terms to say, that you are sure the believers" promises belong to you? Are you _an a.s.sured believer_? If so, rejoice in your heirship; and yet rejoice with trembling; for that is the very character of G.o.d"s heirs. But are you _una.s.sured_--nay, _wholly una.s.sured_? then what mad presumption to say to your soul, that these promises, being in the Bible, must belong indiscriminately to all! It is too gross a contradiction for you to compa.s.s, except in word." He then shows that _Christ"s free offer_ must be accepted by the sinner, and so the _promises_ become his.
"This sinner complies with the call or offer, "Come unto me;" and thereafter, but not before, can claim the annexed _promise_ as his: "I will give thee rest.""
"_Aug. 14._--Partial fast, and seeking G.o.d"s face by prayer. This day thirty years, my late dear brother was born. Oh for more love, and then will come more peace!" That same evening he wrote the hymn, "_The Barren Fig-tree_."
"_Oct. 17._--Private meditation exchanged for conversation. Here is the root of the evil,--forsake G.o.d, and He forsakes us."
Some evening this month he had been reading _Baxter"s Call to the Unconverted_. Deeply impressed with the affectionate and awfully solemn urgency of the man of G.o.d, he wrote--
Though Baxter"s lips have long in silence hung, And death long hush"d that sinner-wakening tongue, Yet still, though dead, he speaks aloud to all, And from the grave still issues forth his "Call:"
Like some loud angel-voice from Zion hill, The mighty echo rolls and rumbles still.
Oh grant that we, when sleeping in the dust, May thus speak forth the wisdom of the just!
Mr. M"Cheyne was peculiarly subject to attacks of fever, and by one of these was he laid down on a sick-bed on November 15th. However, this attack was of short duration. On the 21st he writes: "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits. Learned more and more of the value of _Jehovah Tzidkenu_." He had, three days before, written his well-known hymn, "_I once was a stranger_," etc., ent.i.tled _Jehovah Tzidkenu, the Watchword of the Reformers_. It was the fruit of a slight illness which had tried his soul, by setting it more immediately in view of the judgment-seat of Christ; and the hymn which he so sweetly sung reveals the sure and solid confidence of his soul.
In reference to that same illness, he seems to have penned the following lines. November 24th:--
He tenderly binds up the broken in heart, The soul bowed down He will raise: For mourning, the ointment of joy will impart: For heaviness, garments of praise.
Ah, come, then, and sing to the praise of our G.o.d, Who giveth and taketh away; Who first by his kindness, and then by his rod, Would teach us, poor sinners, to pray.
For in the a.s.sembly of Jesus" first-born, Who anthems of grat.i.tude raise, Each heart has by great tribulation been torn, Each voice turned from wailing to praise.
"_Nov. 9._--Heard of Edward Irving"s death. I look back upon him with awe, as on the saints and martyrs of old. A holy man in spite of all his delusions and errors. He is now with his G.o.d and Saviour, whom he wronged so much, yet, I am persuaded, loved so sincerely. How should we lean for wisdom, not on ourselves, but on the G.o.d of all grace!"
"_Nov. 21._--If nothing else will do to sever me from my sins, Lord send me such sore and trying calamities as shall awake me from earthly slumbers. It must always be best to be alive to Thee, whatever be the quickening instrument. I tremble as I write, for oh! on every hand do I see too likely occasions for sore afflictions."
"_Feb._ 15, 1835.--To-morrow I undergo my trials before the Presbytery. May G.o.d give me courage in the hour of need. What should I fear? If G.o.d see meet to put me into the ministry, who shall keep me back? If I be not meet, why should I be thrust forward? To thy service I desire to dedicate myself over and over again."
"_March 1._--Bodily service. What change is there in the heart! Wild, earthly affections there are here; strong, coa.r.s.e pa.s.sions; bands both of iron and silk. But I thank Thee, O my G.o.d, that they make me cry, "Oh wretched man!" Bodily weakness, too, depresses me."
"_March 29._--College finished on Friday last. My last appearance there. Life itself is vanishing fast. Make haste for eternity."
In such records as these, we read G.o.d"s dealings with his soul up to the time when he was licensed to preach the gospel. His preparatory discipline, both of heart and of intellect, had been directed by the Great Head of the Church in a way that remarkably qualified him for the work he was to perform in the vineyard.
His soul was prepared for the awful work of the ministry by much prayer, and much study of the word of G.o.d; by affliction in his person; by inward trials and sore temptations; by experience of the depth of corruption in his own heart, and by discoveries of the Saviour"s fulness of grace. He learned experimentally to ask, "Who is he that overcometh the world, but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of G.o.d!" I John 5:5. During the four years that followed his awakening, he was oftentimes under the many waters, but was ever raised again by the same divine hand that had drawn him out at the first; till at length, though still often violently tossed, the vessel was able steadily to keep the summit of the wave. It appears that he learned the way of salvation experimentally, ere he knew it accurately by theory and system; and thus no doubt it was that his whole ministry was little else than a giving out of his own inward life.
The Visiting Society noticed above was much blessed to the culture of his soul, and not less so the Missionary a.s.sociation and the Prayer Meeting connected with it. None were more regular at the hour of prayer than he, and none more frequently led up our praises to the throne. He was for some time Secretary to the a.s.sociation, and interested himself deeply in details of missionary labors. Indeed, to the last day of his life, his thoughts often turned to foreign lands; and one of the last notes he wrote was to the Secretary of the a.s.sociation in Edinburgh, expressing his unabated interest in their prosperity.
During the first years of his college course, his studies did not absorb his whole attention; but no sooner was the change on his soul begun, than his studies shared in the results. A deeper sense of responsibility led him to occupy his talents for the service of Him who bestowed them. There have been few who, along with a devotedness of spirit that sought to be ever directly engaged in the Lord"s work, have nevertheless retained such continued and undecaying esteem for the advantages of study. While attending the usual literary and philosophical cla.s.ses, he found time to turn his attention to Geology and Natural History. And often in his days of most successful preaching, when, next to his own soul, his parish and his flock were his only care, he has been known to express a regret that he had not laid up in former days more stores of all useful knowledge; for he found himself able to use the jewels of the Egyptians in the service of Christ. His previous studies would sometimes flash into his mind some happy ill.u.s.tration of divine truth, at the very moment when he was most solemnly applying the glorious gospel to the most ignorant and vile.
His own words will best show his estimate of study, and at the same time the prayerful manner in which he felt it should be carried on.
"Do get on with your studies," he wrote to a young student in 1840.
"Remember you are now forming the character of your future ministry in great measure, if G.o.d spare you. If you acquire slovenly or sleepy habits of study now, you will never get the better of it. Do everything in its own time. Do everything in earnest; if it is worth doing, then do it with all your might. Above all, keep much in the presence of G.o.d. Never see the face of man till you have seen his face who is our life, our all. Pray for others; pray for your teachers, fellow-students," etc. To another he wrote: "Beware of the atmosphere of the cla.s.sics. It is pernicious indeed; and you need much of the south wind breathing over the Scriptures to counteract it. True, we ought to know them; but only as chemists handle poisons--to discover their qualities, not to infect their blood with them." And again: "Pray that the Holy Spirit would not only make you a believing and holy lad, but make you wise in your studies also. A ray of divine light in the soul sometimes clears up a mathematical problem wonderfully. The smile of G.o.d calms the spirit, and the left hand of Jesus holds up the fainting head, and his Holy Spirit quickens the affection, so that even natural studies go on a million times more easily and comfortably."
Before entering the Divinity Hall, he had attended a private cla.s.s for the study of Hebrew; and having afterwards attended the two sessions of Dr. Brunton"s college cla.s.s, he made much progress in that language. He could consult the Hebrew original of the Old Testament with as much ease as most of our ministers are able to consult the Greek of the New.
It was about the time of his first year"s attendance at the Hall that I began to know him as an intimate friend. During the summer vacations,--that we might redeem the time,--some of us who remained in town, when most of our fellow-students were gone to the country, used to meet once every week in the forenoon, for the purpose of investigating some point of _Systematic Divinity_, and stating to each other the amount and result of our private reading. At another time we met in a similar way, till we had overtaken the chief points of the _Popish controversy_. Advancement in our acquaintance with the Greek and Hebrew Scriptures also brought us together; and one summer the study of _Unfulfilled Prophecy_ a.s.sembled a few of us once a week, at an early morning hour, when, though our views differed much on particular points, we never failed to get food to our souls in the Scriptures we explored. But no society of this kind was more useful and pleasant to us than one which, from its object, received the name of _Exegetical_. It met during the session of the Theological cla.s.ses every Sat.u.r.day morning at half-past six. The study of Biblical criticism, and whatever might cast light on the word of G.o.d, was our aim; and these meetings were kept up regularly during four sessions.
Mr. M"Cheyne spoke of himself as indebted to this society for much of that discipline of mind on Jewish literature and Scripture geography which was found to be so useful in the Mission of Inquiry to the Jews in after days.[4]
[4] The members of this Society were--Rev. _William Laughton_, now Minister of St Thomas"s, Greenock, in connection with the Free Church; _Thomas Brown,_ Free Church, Kinneff; _William Wilson_, Free Church, Carmyllie; _Horatius Bonar_, Free Church, Kelso; _Andrew A. Bonar_, Free Church, Collace; _Robert M.
M"Cheyne; Alexander Somerville_, Free Church, Anderston, Glasgow; _John Thomson_, Mariners" Free Church, Leith; _Robert K.
Hamilton_, Madras; _John Burne_, for some time at Madeira; _Patrick Borrowman_, Free Church, Glencairn; _Walter Wood_, Free Church, Westruther; _Henry Moncrieff_, Free Church, Kilbride; _James Cochrane_, Established Church, Cupar; _John Miller_, Secretary to Free Church Special Commission; _G. Smeaton_, Free Church, Auchterarder; _Robert Kinnear_, Free Church, Moffat; and _W.B. Clarke_, Free Church, Half-Morton. Every meeting was opened and closed with prayer. Minutes of the discussions were kept; and the essays read were preserved in volumes. A very characteristic essay of Mr. M"Cheyne"s is "Lebanon and its Scenery" (inserted in the _Remains_), wherein he adduces the evidence of travellers for facts and customs which he himself was afterwards to see. Often, in 1839, pleasant remembrances of these days of youthful study were suggested by what we actually witnessed; and in the essay referred to I find an interesting coincidence. He writes: "What a refreshing sight to his eye, yet undimmed with age, after resting forty years on the monotonous scenery of the desert, now to rest on Zion"s olive-clad hills, and Lebanon, with its vine-clad base and overhanging forests, and towering peaks of snow!" This was the very impression on our minds when we ourselves came up from the wilderness as expressed in the _Narrative_, chap. 2--"May 29.
Next morning we saw at a distance a range of hills, running north and south, called by the Arabs _Djebel Khalie_. After wandering so many days in the wilderness, with its vast monotonous plains of level sand, the sight of these distant mountains was a pleasant relief to the eye; and we thought we could understand a little of the feeling with which Moses, after being forty years in the desert, would pray, "I pray Thee let me go over,"" Deut.
3:25.
But these helps in study were all the while no more than supplementary. The regular systematic studies of the Hall furnished the main provision for his mental culture. Under Dr. Chalmers for Divinity, and under Dr. Welsh for Church History, a course of four years afforded no ordinary advantages for enlarging the understanding.
New fields of thought were daily opened up. His notes and his diary testify that he endeavored to retain what he heard, and that he used to read as much of the books recommended by the professors as his time enabled him to overtake. Many years after, he thankfully called to mind lessons that had been taught in these cla.s.ses. Riding one day with Mr. Hamilton (now of Regent Square, London) from Abernyte to Dundee, they were led to speak of the best mode of dividing a sermon.
"I used," said he, "to despise Dr. Welsh"s rules at the time I heard him; but now I feel I _must use_ them, for nothing is more needful for making a sermon memorable and impressive than a logical arrangement."
His intellectual powers were of a high order: clear and distinct apprehension of his subject, and felicitous ill.u.s.tration, characterized him among all his companions. To an eager desire for wide acquaintance with truth in all its departments, and a memory strong and accurate in retaining what he found, there was added a remarkable candor in examining what claimed to be the truth. He had also an ingenious and enterprising mind--a mind that could carry out what was suggested, when it did not strike out new light for itself.
He possessed great powers of a.n.a.lysis; often his judgment discovered singular discrimination. His imagination seldom sought out object of grandeur; for, as a friend has truly said of him, "he had a kind and quiet eye, which found out the living and beautiful in nature, rather than the majestic and sublime."
He might have risen to high eminence in the circles of taste and literature, but denied himself all such hopes, that he might win souls. With such peculiar talents as he possessed, his ministry might have, in any circ.u.mstances, attracted many; but these attractions were all made subsidiary to the single desire of awakening the dead in trespa.s.ses and sins. Nor would he have expected to be blessed to the salvation of souls unless he had himself been a monument of sovereign grace. In his esteem, "_to be in Christ before being in the ministry_"
was a thing indispensable. He often pointed to those solemn words of Jeremiah (23:21): "_I have not sent these prophets, yet they ran; I have not spoken to them, yet they prophesied. But if they had stood in my counsel, and caused my people to hear my words, then they should have turned them from their evil way, and from the evil of their doings._"
It was with faith already in his heart that he went forward to the holy office of the ministry, receiving from his Lord the rod by which he was to do signs, and which, when it had opened rocks and made waters gush out, he never failed to replace upon the ark whence it was taken, giving glory to G.o.d! He knew not the way by which G.o.d was leading him; but even then he was under the guidance of the pillar-cloud. At this very period he wrote that hymn, _They sing the song of Moses_. His course was then about to begin; but now that it has ended, we can look back and plainly see that the faith he therein expressed was not in vain.