From the third month on to the end of the nine months, the amount of material which the mother must provide for the development of the child within her womb amounts to no small draft on her physical resources. It is not at all uncommon for a mother in the later months of pregnancy to become quite pale, her blood having been impoverished to provide material for the development of her child.
MATERNITY.
What has been said above regarding the contributions which the maternal organism must make toward the development of the offspring must have impressed on the mind of the reader that _maternity means, first of all, sacrifice_.
This sacrifice begins when the girl first enters upon womanhood.
With the expulsion of the ripened ovum comes, each month, a week of special physical drain, when work must be lightened and vigorous exercise curtailed, when exposure to cold or dampness may mean loss of health.
Under these circ.u.mstances a woman should at this time deny herself the pleasure of dancing; of skating or swimming; of sleigh-rides or cross-country walks and the young man should make it less difficult for her by acquiescing without question or demur in her request to be excused from such recreation.
It is a fact that more sacrifice is involved in maternity among the more highly cultivated nations of the human race than is true of aboriginal peoples, or among the lower animals. Conditions of modern life, and particularly urban life, leave the female organism less able to endure the drafts made upon the system by maternity, so that to bear a child may mean not only the sacrifice of comfort, but even the sacrifice of health.
The highly sensitive, delicately adjusted nervous system of the woman is perhaps more profoundly influenced than any other part of her being. This manifests itself particularly in a heightened degree of sensitiveness. It goes without saying that the pregnant woman deserves at the hands of all who come in contact with her, and particularly at the hands of her husband, most considerate and sympathetic treatment. Her little whims and vagaries, however unreasonable, must always be treated seriously, and with delicate and tactful consideration. The members of her family, particularly the husband, owe it to her and to her child to keep her in as happy a frame of mind as possible.
When we consider the real significance of maternity to the race, to society, and to the family, we must feel that, of all human relations, maternity is the most sacred, and that no condition should be allowed to mar it, and no consideration to take precedence of it.
PATERNITY.
After the husband had contributed the male s.e.xual cells, or spermatozoa, in this wonderful process above outlined, it might seem that there is little he can do, except to wait, while nature carries on the process. The reader will remember, however, from the chapter on Reproduction, that the contribution of the spermatozoa only initiates the sacrifices that the paternal organism must make in this process.
Are there any demands on paternity between the time of conception of the new life and its birth?
As already mentioned under the preceding topic, the pregnant mother needs gentle and loving care. She needs to have her little whims and foibles overlooked. She needs to be protected, so far as possible, from every influence that might depress or make her unhappy. She needs to be guarded against any unusual physical exertion, and above all, she needs at this time more than at any other time, the manifested affection and sympathy of her husband.
There is another sacrifice, if it may be so called, which the husband is called upon to make during the pregnancy of his wife, namely, _to abstain absolutely from s.e.xual intercourse during the period of pregnancy and for two or three months following_. This means practically one year of continent living. All other animals observe this period of continence. Nature demands that man observe it in common with other animals. Man is the only animal that has transgressed this fundamental law of nature. The retribution which nature metes out to the transgression of this law is various.
Sometimes, but rarely, the s.e.xual excitement on the part of the woman may cause an abortion, or a miscarriage. The more usual result makes itself manifest in the drain on the nervous energy of the woman. When we consider that maternity in the human race involves greater sacrifice than in any other animal, it would seem that the addition of this last demand, namely, of satisfying the s.e.xual desires of the husband during the period of pregnancy, might prove "the straw that breaks the camel"s back," and result in the more or less complete nervous breakdown of the woman. The author submits this question to all fair-minded men: Is it not due to the wife that she be not asked to satisfy the recurring s.e.xual desires of the husband during the period when her life and its energies are so sacred to the race, to society, and to the family?
The author submits this question because some men are known to transgress this law of nature. Fortunately the proportion of men who thus transgress is not large.
Let us stand for these things: (1) _An equal standard of purity for men and women_, (2) _A strenuous, virile, continent manhood_, (3) _s.e.xual temperance in wedlock_.
APPENDIX
APPENDIX.
Personal conferences and correspondence with young men regarding the solution of their problems have brought out several questions that are so frequently repeated as to make it evident that the answering of them would serve the purpose of clearing up certain questions or doubts, more or less important in the minds of many young men. It has been decided to group these answers in an appendix rather than to incorporate them in the body of the book, as many of them seem not quite relevant to the topics outlined under the several chapters.
1. _How do we know that during the nocturnal emission the products of the testes are not present?_
The spermatozoa found in the nocturnal emission, if present at all, are found to be very much less active than the spermatozoa of s.e.m.e.n secreted during s.e.xual excitement. The seminal vesicles are not receptacles for the testicular secretion. The ampullae seem to serve that purpose in a limited degree.
Considering all these facts, it seems to be a tenable conclusion that the few and sluggish spermatozoa seen in the product of the nocturnal emission are those that have, from time to time, collected in the ampullae, and that during the time immediately preceding the nocturnal emission the testes are not actively releasing nascent spermatozoa.
This function of the testes seems to be reserved for periods of conscious s.e.xual stimulation.
2. _How may one control too frequent emissions?_
If emissions are too frequent for the individual case, they are followed by depletion and malaise. Even if they occur as infrequently as once in two weeks and are followed by the above symptoms, they must be considered as too frequent, or abnormal in that case. On the other hand, they may occur as frequently as twice a week in plethoric robust individuals, and especially in men who have had frequent s.e.xual intercourse, and who have for some reason discontinued it. And even though they occur as frequently as twice a week, if they are followed by a feeling of relief and wellbeing, they must not be considered as too frequent for that individual under the conditions.
So the frequency limit of nocturnal emissions is more or less independent of the time and quite dependent upon the reaction of the individual to the emission. If, following the criterion above outlined, one finds that his emissions are too frequent, because of accompanying depletion and malaise, this frequency may be modified either by changes of the diet or by changes of hygiene.
For a more extended discussion, see text above on nocturnal emissions.
3. _Do the organs of reproduction actually develop after the age of seventeen or nineteen or even to the twenty-fifth year as is the case with the physical and mental powers?_
The brain of an individual adds no nerve cells after a very early age.
The brain increases only very slightly in size and weight after the age of p.u.b.erty, and then only under special conditions and this increase in weight and size is not due to the addition of any new cells, but simply to a slight increase in the bulk of those cells already present. In a similar way the s.e.xual apparatus undergoes, during the period of p.u.b.erty (fifteen to seventeen) a very rapid growth, reaching by the end of the period of p.u.b.erty (seventeenth or nineteenth year) their full size.
4. _Are enlarged veins in the s.c.r.o.t.u.m dangerous?_
Enlarged veins of the s.c.r.o.t.u.m represent dilatation of the veins of the epididymis. These are thin walled vessels that respond to any increased internal blood pressure, perhaps showing a special tendency in this direction during that period of rapid growth of the s.e.xual apparatus in the early part of the adolescent period. If the enlargement is only moderate, it may disappear, or at least become spontaneously arrested in its growth, in which case it need cause no concern. If these veins, however, dilate until they form a considerable ma.s.s, known as VARICOCELE, they may affect the s.e.xual apparatus deleteriously in two ways: (1) The increased weight in the scrotal sac may cause the sac to become elongated and to annoy the subject by its traction on the spermatic cord. This lengthened s.c.r.o.t.u.m with its contents may also be exposed to mechanical pressure or even to injury from the clothing, etc., which would not occur if the scrotal sac were short, holding the testes close to the body. (2) Of far more importance is the danger of the varicocele gradually encroaching by pressure upon the testis, perhaps to cause a partial atrophy of that gland. This condition is a comparatively rare one, and inasmuch as it seldom occurs in both testes, the possibility of causing sterility on the part of a man is remote.
The extension of the s.c.r.o.t.u.m and the "bearing-down" sensation may be relieved through the wearing of a suspensory bandage. Such a bandage may be obtained at any drug store or surgical instrument house, and if properly fitted, will usually relieve any such discomfort as described above. If the varicocele is quite large, the subject will do well to consult a competent surgeon and to take his advice.
5. _Is the emptying of the seminal vesicles thru nocturnal emission a universal phenomenon among continent men?_
The nocturnal emission is not a universal method of emptying the seminal vesicles. Some continent men never have nocturnal emissions.
The reason may be sought in one of two directions: (1) The usual cause of absence of nocturnal emissions is to be found in the fact that in the man in question the seminal vesicles are periodically drained by _involuntary diurnal emissions_, occurring usually when the individual is at stool. These emissions are likely to occur once in two to four weeks and take the place of the nocturnal emission. (2) Rarely we find virile, continent men whose vesicular secretion is so scanty that they are never conscious of its emission.
6. (a) _Should a man who for three to six years of his boyhood practiced masturbation think of wedlock?_
(b) _If one has not lived a pure life but has reformed, may he ask a pure woman to be his wife?_
Such questions as these are very frequently asked and with most serious motives. A vast majority of boys and young men who practice self-abuse, do so either wholly ignorant of the fact that it is wrong or cognizant only in a vague way of the evil of the practice.
To consign a man to the Hades of homelessness and the sorrow of childlessness because through ignorance he lapsed from purity during a few months or years of his life, would be meting out a retribution far in excess of the sin. If nature intended such a retribution to be meted out she would have led the way by causing an atrophy or some other form of disease in the subject who had abused his s.e.xual organs.
But nature does not do that. If the young man who, from his twelfth to his eighteenth year, has practiced masturbation, is shown the error of his way and breaks the habit absolutely, nature quickly comes to his rescue and rehabilitates his virility completely, unless he has been guilty of extreme excess in the habit. This rehabilitation of virility after self-abuse is usually experienced in from one to three years, according to the case and the extent of the practice.
The complete mastery of a habit after it has through years been forging its chains about the youth, is in itself no small victory and should go a long way towards extenuating his lapse. The young man who can conquer himself and learn to lead a pure life, free from his early habit and above reproach not only in his acts toward womankind but also in all his thoughts of woman deserves his well-earned reward. He deserves the respect of all pure women and should be able to win the love of one whom he may with clear conscience ask to be his wife, and with whom he may confidently expect to build a typical home.
7. _Should a man have intercourse for any purpose other than for procreation?_
In the normal course of events, if intercourse is indulged in for procreation only, it would come as often as once, perhaps twice in a month; that is, either just before the menstrual period of the woman or just after, the woman being most easily impregnated at these two periods.
A man who has led a continent life before marriage should have no difficulty in controlling his s.e.xual appet.i.te to that extent. If the s.e.xual intercourse occurs as infrequently as once or twice in a month, the man, by living thus continently, will find it much more easy to maintain his continence during the twelve-month period after his wife becomes pregnant before he can properly have intercourse with her again, than would be the case if he had had s.e.xual relations much more frequently.
That the man desires intercourse much more frequently than as above outlined and that the woman, in the vast majority of cases, does not desire intercourse except for procreation and about as frequently as above indicated is, without any reasonable doubt, due to hereditary tendencies. Under primeval conditions, and in fact, until comparatively recent times, the vast majority of mankind were polygamous, the strong men of the race--those who procreated their kind--having as many wives as they could support and protect, the weak men of the race being crowded aside, sometimes castrated, to become the burden bearers for the strong.
Under conditions of polygamy the woman is rarely subjected to s.e.xual intercourse for other than procreative purposes, and even granting that the man has intercourse for procreation only, if he had twelve wives, he would be having it twelve times as frequently as any one of them. That these experiences on the part of a long line of maternal ancestors should lead the women of today to desire s.e.xual intercourse for procreation only, is easy to understand; that the impulses transmitted along the paternal line of ancestors should lead the men of today to desire intercourse far more frequently than this can, under monogamous conditions be indulged, is also easy to understand.