Her father"s interviews with her were not frequent. That worthy man, however, looked upon all her sufferings as the mere pinings of a self-willed girl, lovesick and sentimental, such as he had sometimes heard of, or read in books, and only worthy to be laughed at and treated with contempt. He himself was now progressing in an opposite direction, so far as health was concerned, to that of his daughter. In other words, as she got ill, he gradually, and with a progress beautifully adapted to the accomplishment of his projects, kept on recovering. This fact was Lucy"s princ.i.p.al, almost her sole consolation; for here, although she had sacrificed herself, she experienced the satisfaction of seeing that the sacrifice was not in vain.
But, after all, and notwithstanding his base and unG.o.dly views of life, let us ask, had the baronet no painful visitations of remorse in contemplating the fading form and the silent but hopeless agony of his daughter? Did conscience, which in his bosom of stone indulged in an almost unbroken slumber, never awaken to scourge his hardened spirit with her whip of snakes, and raise the gloomy curtain that concealed from him the dark and tumultuous fires that await premeditated guilt and impenitence? We answer, he was man. Sometimes, especially in the solemn hours of night, he experienced brief periods, not of remorse, much less of repentance, but of dark, diabolical guilt--conscious guilt, unmitigated by either penitence or remorse, as might have taught his daughter, could she have known them, how little she herself suffered in comparison with him. These dreadful moments remind one of the heavings of some mighty volcano, when occasioned by the internal stragglings of the fire that is raging within it, the power and fury of which may be estimated by the terrible glimpses which rise up, blazing and smouldering from its stormy crater.
"What am I about?" he would say. "What a black prospect does life present to me! I fear I am a bad man. Could it be possible now, that there are thousands of persons in life who have committed great crimes in the face of society, who, nevertheless, are not responsible for half my guilt? Is it possible that a man may pa.s.s through the world, looking on it with a plausible aspect, and yet become, from the natural iniquity of his disposition and the habitual influence of present and perpetual evil within him, a man of darker and more extended guilt than the murderer or robber? Is it, then, the isolated crime, the crime that springs from impulse, or pa.s.sion, or provocation, or revenge?--or is it the black unbroken iniquity of the spirit, that const.i.tutes the greater offence, or the greater offender against society? Am I, then, one of I those reprobates of life in whom there is everything adverse to good and friendly to evil, yet who pa.s.s through existence with a high head, and look upon the public criminal and felon with abhorrence or affected compa.s.sion? But why investigate myself? Here I am; and that fact is the utmost limit to which my inquiries and investigations can go. I am what I am: besides, I did not form nor create myself. I am different from my daughter, she is different from me. I am different from most people. In what? May I not have a destined purpose in creation to fulfil; and is it not probable that my natural disposition has been bestowed upon me for the purpose of fulfilling it? Yet if all were right, how account for these dreadful and agonizing glimpses of my inner life which occasionally visit me? But I dare say every man feels them. What are they, after all, but the superst.i.tious operations of conscience--of that grim spectre which is conjured up by the ridiculous fables of the priest and nurse? Conscience! Why, its fearful tribunal is no test of truth.
The wretched anchorite will often experience as much remorse if he neglect to scourge his miserable carca.s.s, as the murderer who sheds the blood of man--or more. Away with it! I am but a fool for allowing it to disturb me at all, or mar my projects."
In this manner would he attempt to reason himself out of these dreadful visitations, by the shallow sophistry of the sceptic and infidel.
The time, however, he thought, was now approaching when it was necessary that something should be done with respect to Lucy"s approaching marriage. He accordingly sent for her, and having made very affectionate inquiries after her health, for he had not for a moment changed the affected tenderness of his manner, he asked if she believed herself capable of granting an interview to Lord Dunroe. Lucy, now that escape from the frightful penalty of her obedience was impossible, deemed it, after much painful reflection, better to submit with as little apparent reluctance as possible.
"I fear, papa," she said, in tones that would have touched and softened any heart but that to which she addressed herself, "I fear that it is useless to wait until I am better. I feel my strength declining every day, without any hope of improvement. I may therefore as well see him now as at a future time."
"My dear Lucy, I know that you enter into this engagement with reluctance. I know that you do it for my sake; and you may rest a.s.sured that your filial piety and obedience will be attended with a blessing.
After marriage you will find that change of scene, Dunroe"s tenderness, and the influence of enlivening society, will completely restore your health and spirits. Dunroe"s a rattling, pleasant fellow; and notwithstanding his escapades, has an excellent heart. Tut, my dear child, after a few months you will yourself smile at these girlish scruples, and thank papa for forcing you into happiness."
Lucy"s large eyes had been fixed upon him while he spoke, and as he concluded, two big tears, the first she had shed for weeks, stood within their lids. They seemed, however, but visionary; for although they did fall they soon disappeared, having been absorbed, as it were, into the source from which they came, by the feverish heat of her brain.
"It is enough, papa," she said; "I am willing to see him--willing to see him whenever you wish. I am in your hands, and neither you nor he need apprehend any further opposition from me."
"You are a good girl, Lucy; and you may believe me again that this admirable conduct of yours will have its reward in a long life of future happiness."
"Future happiness, papa," she replied, with a peculiar emphasis on the word; "I hope so. May I withdraw, sir?"
"You may, my dear child. G.o.d bless and reward you, Lucy. It is to your duty I owe it that I am a living man--that you have a father."
When she had gone, he sat down to his desk, and without losing a moment sent a note to Dunroe, of which the following is a copy:
"My dear Lord Dunroe,--I am happy to tell you that Lucy is getting on famously.
"Of course you know, I suppose, that these vaporish affections are, with most young girls, nothing but the performance of the part which they choose to act before marriage; the mere mists of the morning, poor wenches, which only prognosticate for themselves and their husbands an unclouded day. All this make-believe is very natural; and it is a good joke, besides, to see them pout and look grave, and whine and cry, and sometimes do the hysteric, whilst they are all the time dying in secret, the hypocritical baggages, to get themselves transformed into matrons.
Don"t, therefore, be a whit surprised or alarmed if you find Miss Lucy in the pout--she is only a girl, after all, and has her little part to play, as well as the best of them. Still, such a change is often in reality a serious one to a young woman; and you need not be told that no animal will allow itself to be caught without an effort. When you see her, therefore, pluck up your spirits, rattle away, laugh and jest, so as, if possible, to get her into good humor, and there is no danger of you. Or stay--I am wrong. Had you followed this advice, it would have played the deuce with you. Don"t be merry. On the contrary, pull a long face--be grave and serious; and if you can imitate the manner of one of those fellows who pa.s.s for young men of decided piety, you were nothing but a made man. Have you a Bible? If you have, commit half-a-dozen texts to memory, and intersperse them judiciously through your conversation.
Talk of the vanity of life, the comforts of religion, and the beauty of holiness. But don"t overdo the thing either. Just a.s.sume the part of a young person on whose mind the truth is beginning to open, because Lucy knows now very well that these rapid transitions are suspicious. At all events, you will do the best you can; and if you are here to-morrow--say about three o"clock--she will see you.
"Ever, my dear Dunroe,
"Faithfully, your father-in-law that is to be,
"Thomas Gourlay."
This precious epistle Dunroe found upon his table after returning from his ride in the Phoenix Park; and having perused it, he immediately rang for Norton, from whom he thought it was much too good a thing to be concealed.
"Norton," said he, "I am beginning to think that this black fellow, the baronet, is not such a disgraceful old scoundrel as I had thought him.
There"s not a bad thing in its way--read it."
Norton, after throwing his eye over it, laughed heartily.
"Egad," said he, "that fellow has a pretty knowledge of life; but it is well he recovered himself in the instructions, for, from all that I have heard of Miss Gourlay, his first code would have ruined you, sure enough."
"I am afraid I will break down, however, in the hypocrisy. I failed cursedly with the old peer, and am not likely to be more successful with her."
"Indeed, I question whether hypocrisy would sit well upon one who has been so undisguised an offender. The very a.s.sumption of it requires some training. I think a work to be called "Preparations for Hypocrisy" would be a great book to the general ma.s.s of mankind. You cannot bound at one step from the licentious to the hypocritical, unless, indeed, upon the convenient principle of instantaneous conversion. The thing must be done decently, and by judicious gradations, nor is the transition attended with much difficulty, in consequence of the natural tendency which hypocrisy and profligacy always have to meet. Still, I think you ought to attempt the thing. Get by heart, as her father advises, half-a-dozen serious texts of Scripture, and drop one in now and then, such as, "All flesh is gra.s.s." "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." "He that marrieth not doth well, but he that marrieth doth better." To be sure, there is a slight inversion of text here, but then it is made more appropriate."
"None of these texts, however," replied his lordship, "except the last, are applicable to marriage."
"So much the better; that will show her that you can think of other and more serious things."
"But there are very few things more serious, my boy."
"At all events," proceeded the other, "it will be original, and originality, you know, is your _forte_. I believe it is supposed that she has no great relish for this match, and is not overburdened with affection for you?"
"She must have changed, though," replied his lordship, "or she wouldn"t have consented."
"That may be; but if she should candidly tell you that she does not like you--why, in that case, your originality must bear you out. Start some new and original theory on marriage; say, for instance, that your principle is not to marry a girl who does love you, but rather one who feels the other way. Dwell fearfully on the danger of love before marriage: and thus strike out strongly upon the advantages of indifference--honest indifference. By this means you will meet all her objections, and be able to capsize her on every point."
"Norton," said his lordship, "I think you are right. My originality will carry the day; but in the meantime you must give me further instructions on the subject, so that I may be prepared at all points."
"By the by, Dunroe, you will be a happy fellow. I am told she is a magnificent creature; beautiful, sensible, brilliant, and mistress of many languages."
"Not to be compared with the blonde, though."
"I cannot say," replied Norton, "having not yet seen her. You will get very fond of her, of course."
"Fond--"gad, I hope it will never come to that with me. The moment a man suffers himself to become fond of his wife, he had better order his Bible and Prayer-book at once--it is all up with him."
"I grant you it"s an unfortunate condition to get into; and the worst of it is, that once you are in, it is next to an impossibility to get out.
Of course, you will take care to avoid it, for your own sake, and, if you have no objection, for mine. Perhaps her ladyship may take a fancy to support the venerable peer against me in recommending the process of John Thrustout. If so, Dunroe, whatever happiness your marriage may bring yourself, it will bring nothing but bitterness and calamity to me. I am now so much accustomed--so much--so much--hang it, why conceal it?--so much attached and devoted to you--that a separation would be the same as death to me."
"Never fear, Norton," replied Dunroe, "I have not yielded to my father on this point, neither shall I to my wife. Happen what may, my friend must never be given up for the whim of any one. But, indeed, you need entertain no apprehensions. I am not marrying the girl for love, so that she is not likely to gain any ascendancy whatever over me. It is her fortune and property that have attracted my affections, just as the t.i.tle she will enjoy has inveigled those of the old father."
Norton, in deep emotions of grat.i.tude, ably sustained, had already seized the hand of his patron, and was about to reply--but the effort was too much for him; his heart was too full; he felt a choking; so, clapping his handkerchief to his face with one hand, and the other upon his heart, he rushed out of the room, lest Dunroe might perceive the incredible force of his affection for him.
The next day, when Dunroe made his appearance in the drawing-room, Lucy, before descending, felt as one may be supposed to do who stands upon the brow of a precipice, conscious at the same time that not only is retreat from this terrible position impossible, but that the plunge must be made. On this occasion she experienced none of that fierce energy which sometimes results from despair, and which one might imagine to have been in accordance with her candid and generous character, when driven as she was to such a step. On the contrary, she felt calm, cold, and apathetic. Her pulse could scarcely be perceived by Alley Mahon; and all the physical powers of life within her seemed as if about to suspend their functions. Her reason, however, was clear, even to torture. Those tumultuous vibrations of the spirit--those confused images and unsettled thoughts of the brain; and all those excited emotions of the heart, that are usually called into existence in common minds by such scenes, would have been to her as a relief, in comparison to what she experienced.
In her case there was a tranquillity of agony--a quiet, unresisting submission--a gentle bowing of the neck to the stake, at the sacrifice that resulted from the clear perception of her great mind, which thus, by its very facility of apprehension, magnified the torture she suffered. Whilst descending the stairs, she felt such a sinking of the soul within her, as the unhappy wretch does who ascends from those which lead to that deadly platform from which is taken the terrible spring into eternity.
On entering the room she saw herself in the large mirror that adorned the mantel-piece, and felt for the first time as if all this was some dreadful dream. The reality, however, of the misery she felt was too strongly in her heart to suffer this consoling fiction, painful even though it was, to remain. The next moment she found Lord Dunroe doing her homage and obeisance,--an obeisance which she returned with a lady-like but melancholy grace, that might have told to any other observer the sufferings she felt, and the sacrifice she was making.
Dunroe, with as much politeness as he could a.s.sume, handed her to the sofa, close to which he drew a chair, and opened the dialogue as follows:
"I am sorry to hear that you have not been well, Miss Gourlay. Life, however, is uncertain, and we should always be prepared--at least, so says Scripture. All flesh is gra.s.s, I think is the expression--ahem."
Lucy looked at him with a kind of astonishment; and, indeed, we think our readers will scarcely feel surprised that she did so; the reflection being anything but adapted to the opening of a love scene.
"Your observation, my lord," she replied, "is very true--too true, for we rarely make due preparation for death."
"But I can conceive, readily enough," replied his lordship, "why the man that wrote the Scripture used the expression. Death, you know Miss Gourlay, is always represented as a mower, bearing a horrible scythe, and an hour-gla.s.s. Now, a mower, you know, cuts down gra.s.s; and there is the origin of the similitude."
"And a very appropriate one it is, I think," observed Lucy.