I added (for somehow I began to feel a friendly interest in this poor slack-baked creature): "if you don"t find your nerves equal to it when it comes to the point, I don"t mind giving you a leg over myself."
"I never intended to go as far as that," he said, rather pettishly, and without any sign of grat.i.tude for my offer; "I don"t care about actually dying, if she could only be made to believe I had died that would be quite enough for me. I could live on here, happy in the thought that I was saved from her scorn. But how can she be made to believe it?--that"s the point."
"Precisely," I said. "You can hardly write yourself and inform her that you died on the voyage. You might do this, though: sail to England as you propose, and go to see her under another name, and break the sad intelligence to her."
"Why, to be sure, I might do that!" he said, with some animation; "I should certainly not be recognised--she can have no photograph of me, for I have never been photographed. And yet--no," he added, with a shudder, "it is useless. I can"t do it; I dare not trust myself under that roof! I must find some other way. You have given me an idea.
Listen," he said, after a short pause: "you seem to take an interest in me; you are going to London; the Catafalques live there, or near it, at some place called Parson"s Green. Can I ask a great favour of you--would you very much mind seeking them out yourself as a fellow-voyager of mine? I could not expect you to tell a positive untruth on my account--but if, in the course of an interview with Chlorine, you _could_ contrive to convey the impression that I died on my way to her side, you would be doing me a service I can never repay!"
"I should very much prefer to do you a service that you _could_ repay,"
was my very natural rejoinder.
"She will not require strict proof," he continued eagerly; "I could give you enough papers and things to convince her that you come from me. Say you will do me this kindness!"
I hesitated for some time longer, not so much, perhaps, from scruples of a conscientious kind as from a disinclination to undertake a troublesome commission for an entire stranger--gratuitously. But McFadden pressed me hard, and at length he made an appeal to springs in my nature which are never touched in vain, and I yielded.
When we had settled the question in its financial aspect, I said to McFadden, "The only thing now is--how would you prefer to pa.s.s away?
Shall I make you fall over and be devoured by a shark? That would be a picturesque end--and I could do myself justice over the shark? I should make the young lady weep considerably."
"That won"t do at all!" he said irritably; "I can see from her face that Chlorine is a girl of a delicate sensibility, and would be disgusted by the idea of any suitor of hers spending his last cohesive moments inside such a beastly repulsive thing as a shark. I don"t want to be a.s.sociated in her mind with anything so unpleasant. No, sir; I will die--if you will oblige me by remembering it--of a low fever, of a non-infectious type, at sunset, gazing at her portrait with my fading eyesight and gasping her name with my last breath. She will cry more over that!"
"I might work it up into something effective, certainly," I admitted; "and, by the way, if you are going to expire in my state-room, I ought to know a little more about you than I do. There is time still before the tender goes; you might do worse than spend it in coaching me in your life"s history."
He gave me a few leading facts, and supplied me with several doc.u.ments for study on the voyage; he even abandoned to me the whole of his travelling arrangements, which proved far more complete and serviceable than my own.
And then the "All-ash.o.r.e" bell rang, and McFadden, as he bade me farewell, took from his pocket a bulky packet. "You have saved me," he said. "Now I can banish every recollection of this miserable episode. I need no longer preserve my poor aunt"s directions; let them go, then."
Before I could say anything, he had fastened something heavy to the parcel and dropped it through the cabin-light into the sea, after which he went ash.o.r.e, and I have never seen nor heard of him since.
During the voyage I had leisure to think seriously over the affair, and the more I thought of the task I had undertaken, the less I liked it.
No man with the instincts of a gentleman can feel any satisfaction at rinding himself on the way to harrow up a poor young lady"s feelings by a perfectly fict.i.tious account of the death of a poor-spirited suitor who could selfishly save his reputation at her expense.
And so strong was my feeling about this from the very first, that I doubt whether, if McFadden"s terms had been a shade less liberal, I could ever have brought myself to consent.
But it struck me that, under judiciously sympathetic treatment, the lady might prove not inconsolable, and that I myself might be able to heal the wound I was about to inflict.
I found a subtle pleasure in the thought of this, for, unless McFadden had misinformed me, Chlorine"s fortune was considerable, and did not depend upon any marriage she might or might not make. On the other hand, _I_ was penniless, and it seemed to me only too likely that her parents might seek to found some objection to me on that ground.
I studied the photograph McFadden had left with me; it was that of a pensive but distinctly pretty face, with an absence of firmness in it that betrayed a plastic nature. I felt certain that if I only had the recommendation, as McFadden had, of an aunt"s dying wishes, it would not take me long to effect a complete conquest.
And then, as naturally as possible, came the thought--why should not I procure myself the advantages of this recommendation? Nothing could be easier; I had merely to present myself as Augustus McFadden, who was. .h.i.therto a mere name to them; the information I already possessed as to his past life would enable me to support the character, and as it seemed that the baronet lived in great seclusion, I could easily contrive to keep out of the way of the few friends and relations I had in London until my position was secure.
What harm would this innocent deception do to anyone? McFadden, even if he ever knew, would have no right to complain--he had given up all pretentions himself and if he was merely anxious to preserve his reputation, his wishes would be more than carried out, for I flattered myself that whatever ideal Chlorine might have formed of her destined suitor, I should come much nearer to it than poor McFadden could ever have done. No, he would gain, positively gain, by my a.s.sumption. He could not have counted upon arousing more than a mild regret as it was; _now_ he would be fondly, it might be madly, loved. By proxy, it is true, but that was far more than he deserved.
Chlorine was not injured--far from it; she would have a suitor to welcome, not weep over, and his mere surname could make no possible difference to her. And lastly, it was a distinct benefit to _me_, for with a new name and an excellent reputation success would be an absolute certainty. What wonder, then, that the scheme, which opened out a far more manly and honourable means of obtaining a livelihood than any I had previously contemplated, should have grown more attractively feasible each day, until I resolved at last to carry it out? Let rigid moralists blame me if they will; I have never pretended to be better than the average run of mankind (though I am certainly no worse), and no one who really knows what human nature is will reproach me very keenly for obeying what was almost an instinct. And I may say this, that if ever an unfortunate man was bitterly punished for a fraud which was harmless, if not actually pious, by a visitation of intense and protracted terror, that person was I!
II.
After arriving in England, and before presenting myself at Parson"s Green in my a.s.sumed character, I took one precaution against any danger there might be of my throwing away my liberty in a fit of youthful impulsiveness. I went to Somerset House, and carefully examined the probate copy of the late Miss Petronia McFadden"s last will and testament.
Nothing could have been more satisfactory; a sum of between forty and fifty thousand pounds was Chlorine"s unconditionally, just as McFadden had said. I searched, but could find nothing in the will whatever to prevent her property, under the then existing state of the law, from pa.s.sing under the entire control of a future husband.
After this, then, I could no longer restrain my ardour, and so, one foggy afternoon about the middle of December, I found myself driving towards the house in which I reckoned upon achieving a comfortable independence.
Parson"s Green was reached at last; a small triangular open s.p.a.ce bordered on two of its sides by mean and modern erections, but on the third by some ancient mansions, gloomy and neglected-looking indeed, but with traces on them still of their former consequence.
My cab stopped before the gloomiest of them all--a square grim house with dull and small-paned windows, flanked by two narrow and projecting wings, and built of dingy brick, faced with yellow-stone. Some old scroll-work railings, with a corroded frame in the middle for a long departed oil-lamp, separated the house from the road; inside was a semicircular patch of rank gra.s.s, and a damp gravel sweep led from the heavy gate to a square portico supported by two wasted black wooden pillars.
As I stood there, after pulling the pear-shaped bell-handle, and heard the bell tinkling and jangling fretfully within, and as I glanced up at the dull house-front looming cheerless out of the fog-laden December twilight, I felt my confidence beginning to abandon me for the first time, and I really was almost inclined to give the whole thing up and run away.
Before I could make up my mind, a mouldy and melancholy butler had come slowly down the sweep and opened the gate--and my opportunity had fled.
Later I remembered how, as I walked along the gravel, a wild and wailing scream pierced the heavy silence--it seemed at once a lamentation and a warning. But as the District Railway was quite near, I did not attach any particular importance to the sound at the time.
I followed the butler through a dank and chilly hall, where an antique lamp hung glimmering feebly through its panes of dusty stained gla.s.s, up a broad carved staircase, and along some tortuous panelled pa.s.sages, until at length I was ushered into a long and rather low reception room, scantily furnished with the tarnished mirrors and spindle-legged brocaded furniture of a bygone century.
A tall and meagre old man, with a long white beard, and haggard, sunken black eyes, was seated at one side of the high chimney-piece, while opposite him sat a little limp old lady with a nervous expression, and dressed in trailing black robes relieved by a little yellow lace about the head and throat. As I saw them, I recognised at once that I was in the presence of Sir Paul Catafalque and his wife.
They both rose slowly, and advanced arm-in-arm in their old-fashioned way, and met me with a stately solemnity. "You are indeed welcome," they said in faint hollow voices. "We thank you for this proof of your chivalry and devotion. It cannot be but that such courage and such self-sacrifice will meet with their reward!"
And although I did not quite understand how they could have discerned, as yet, that I was chivalrous and devoted, I was too glad to have made a good impression to do anything but beg them not to mention it.
And then a slender figure, with a drooping head, a wan face, and large sad eyes, came softly down the dimly-lighted room towards me, and I and my destined bride met for the first time.
As I had expected, after she had once anxiously raised her eyes, and allowed them to rest upon me, her face was lighted up by an evident relief, as she discovered that the fulfilment of my aunt"s wishes would not be so distasteful to her, personally, as it might have been.
For myself, I was upon the whole rather disappointed in her; the portrait had flattered her considerably--the real Chlorine was thinner and paler than I had been led to antic.i.p.ate, while there was a settled melancholy in her manner which I felt would prevent her from being an exhilarating companion.
And I must say I prefer a touch of archness and animation in womankind, and, if I had been free to consult my own tastes, should have greatly preferred to become a member of a more cheerful family. Under the circ.u.mstances, however, I was not ent.i.tled to be too particular, and I put up with it.
From the moment of my arrival I fell easily and naturally into the position of an honoured guest, who might be expected in time to form nearer and dearer relations with the family, and certainly I was afforded every opportunity of doing so.
I made no mistakes, for the diligence with which I had got up McFadden"s antecedents enabled me to give perfectly satisfactory replies to most of the few allusions or questions that were addressed to me, and I drew upon my imagination for the rest.
But those days I spent in the baronet"s family were far from lively: the Catafalques went nowhere; they seemed to know n.o.body; at least no visitors ever called or dined there while I was with them, and the time dragged slowly on in a terrible monotony in that dim tomb of a house, which I was not expected to leave except for very brief periods, for Sir Paul would grow uneasy if I walked out alone--even to Putney.
There was something, indeed, about the att.i.tude of both the old people towards myself which I could only consider as extremely puzzling. They would follow me about with a jealous care, blended with anxious alarm, and their faces as they looked at me wore an expression of tearful admiration, touched with something of pity, as for some youthful martyr; at times, too, they spoke of the grat.i.tude they felt, and professed a determined hopefulness as to my ultimate success.
Now I was well aware that this is not the ordinary bearing of the parents of an heiress to a suitor who, however deserving in other respects, is both obscure and penniless, and the only way in which I could account for it was by the supposition that there was some latent defect in Chlorine"s temper or const.i.tution, which ent.i.tled the man who won her to commiseration, and which would also explain their evident anxiety to get her off their hands.
But although anything of this kind would be, of course, a drawback, I felt that forty or fifty thousand pounds would be a fair set-off--and I could not expect _everything_.
When the time came at which I felt that I could safely speak to Chlorine of what lay nearest my heart, I found an unforeseen difficulty in bringing her to confess that she reciprocated my pa.s.sion.
She seemed to shrink unaccountably from speaking the word which gave me the right to claim her, confessing that she dreaded it not for her own sake, but for mine alone, which struck me as an unpleasantly morbid trait in so young a girl.