"I have never inquired," she responded with affected carelessness.
"And you have actually accepted a strange man as your lover without first ascertaining who or what he is?" I said in amazement. "This is not like you, Muriel. You used to be so prudent when at Madame"s that some of the girls laughed at you and called you prudish. Yet now you simply fling yourself helplessly in the arms of this rather odd-looking man without seeking to inquire anything about him."
"I know sufficient to be confident in him," she responded, with a girlish enthusiasm which at the moment struck me as silly.
"If you are confident in him it is quite plain that he reposes no confidence in you," I argued.
"Why?"
"Because he has told you nothing of himself."
"It matters not," she responded in enraptured voice. "Our love is itself a mutual confidence."
"And you are perfectly happy in this new situation of yours?"
"No," she answered, vainly endeavouring to restrain a sigh. "Not perfectly. I"m in the ribbon department, and the work is much harder and the hours longer than at Madame"s. Besides, the rules are terribly strict; there are fines for everything, and scarcely any premiums. The shop-walkers are perfect tyrants over the girls, and the food is always the same--never a change."
"Yet you told me a short time ago that you were quite contented?" I said reproachfully.
"Well, so I am. There are many worse places in London, where the hours are even longer, and the girls have no place but their bedrooms in which to sit after business hours. The firm provides us with a comfortable room, I must admit, even if they only half feed us."
Long ago, in the early days of our friendship, when she used to sit and chat with me over tea in my chambers, she had explained how unvaried food was one of the chief causes of complaint among shop-a.s.sistants.
"But I can"t bear to think that you are in such a place as that," I said. "Madame"s was so much more genteel."
"Oh, don"t think of me!" she responded with a brightness which I knew she did not really feel at heart.
"But I do," I said earnestly. "I do, Muriel; because I love you. Tell me now," I added, taking her arm. "Tell me why you have turned from me."
She was silent a moment, then in a faltering voice, replied--
"Because--because it was imperative. Because I knew that I did not love you."
"But will you never do so?" I asked in desperation. "Will you never give me hope? I am content to wait, only tell me that you will still remember me, and try to think of me with thoughts of love."
"To entertain vain hope is altogether useless," she answered philosophically.
"Then you actually love this man?" I inquired bitterly. "You have allowed him to worm himself into your heart by soft glances and softer speeches; to absorb your thoughts and to kiss your lips, without troubling to inquire if he is worthy of you, or if he is honest, manly, and upright? Why have you thus abandoned prudence?"
"I have not abandoned prudence," she answered, a trifle indignantly, at the same time extricating her arm from mine. "I should certainly do so were I to consent to become yours."
I started at the firmness of this response, looking at her in dismay.
She spoke as though she feared me!
"Then you have no trust in me?" I exclaimed despairingly. "For one simple little piece of negligence you have utterly abandoned me!"
"No!" she replied, in a voice low but firm. "You have spoken the truth.
I cannot trust you, neither can I love you. Therefore let us part, and let us in future remain asunder."
"Ah, no!" I cried, imploringly. "Don"t utter those cruel words, Muriel. You cannot really mean them. You know how fondly I love you."
We had arrived outside Highbury Station; and as I uttered these words she halted, and without response, held out her hand, saying in a cold tone--
"You must leave me now. I ask this favour of you."
"I cannot leave you," I panted in the wild desire which possessed me.
"You must be mine, Muriel. Do not let this man draw you beneath his influence by his smooth words and studied politeness, for recollect who he is. You are aware--therefore I need not tell you."
"Who he is? What do you mean?"
"I mean that he is in no way fit to be your lover," I responded, my lover"s flame of pa.s.sion unallayed. "When you meet him, test him and watch if he really loves you. Recollect that your beauty, Muriel, is striking; and that personal beauty is often woman"s deadliest enemy. I have, as you know, always sought to protect you from men who have flattered you merely because you possessed a pretty face. I loved you then, darling--I love you now!"
A sigh escaped her, but without a word she turned and left me ere I could prevent her, and even as I stood I saw her walk straight across to the station entrance, where she joined the lean, shabby man who had been awaiting her to keep an appointment.
Her eyes, quickened by love, had detected him ere he had noticed her, for he gave no glance in my direction, but lifting his shabby silk hat he grasped her hand, then walked on by her side, while I stood lonely and desolate, watching him disappear in the darkness with the woman I so fondly loved.
I, faint soul, had given myself helplessly into the evil hands of Aline for no purpose. All was in vain. I had been brought near to hope"s fruition, but Muriel had forsaken me. She had told me plainly that in her heart no spark of affection remained.
I stood crushed--hopeless--the past an inexplicable mystery, the future a grey, barren sea of despair.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN.
THE CHALICE.
Early in September my chambers were insufferably hot and dusty. In the road below the eternal turmoil was increased every hour, as the presses of the _Pall Mall Gazette_ turned out their various editions, which were loaded into the carts by an army of shouting men and boys. The club was deserted; most men I knew were out of town, and I felt utterly lonely and miserable.
A fortnight before I had received a letter from Jack Yelverton, saying that he had resigned the curacy of Duddington, and was about to return at once to St Peter"s, Walworth, he having been appointed vicar of the parish. I replied congratulating him, and expressing a hope that he would call as soon as he returned to town. But I had seen nothing of him. Had the offer of a good living proved too tempting to him, I wondered; or had he resolved to abandon the curious theory he held regarding marriage? I was intensely anxious to ascertain the truth.
Since that afternoon when I had met Aline at Ludgate Circus and been induced to relinquish myself into her hands, I had seen nothing of her.
She had refused me her address, and had not called. Yet, strange to relate, I had experienced some delusions unaccountable, for once or twice there seemed conjured in my vision vague scenes of terror and hideousness which held me in a kind of indefinite fear which was utterly indescribable. To attribute these experiences to Aline"s influence was, of course, impossible. Yet the strangest fact was that in such moments there invariably arose, side by side with the woman I loved, the countenance of the woman of mystery distorted by hate until its hideousness appalled me.
I attributed these experiences to the disordered state of my mind and the constant tension consequent upon Muriel"s waywardness; nevertheless, so remarkable were the powers possessed by Aline that I admit wondering whether the distressing visions which arose before me so vividly as to become almost hallucinations were actually due to the influence she possessed over me.
I am no believer in the so-called mesmeric power, in hypnotism, or any of the quack influences by which charlatans seek to impose upon the public, therefore I philosophically attributed the visions to severe mental strain; for I had read somewhere that such hallucinations were very often precursory of madness.
Fully a month pa.s.sed, from the night when I had vainly implored Muriel to give me hope, until late one afternoon Simes ushered in Aline.
So changed was she that I rose and regarded her with speechless astonishment. Her face was thin and drawn, her cheeks hollow, her eyebrows twitching and nervous, while her clear, blue eyes themselves seemed to have lost all the brightness and cheerful light which had given such animation to her face. She was dressed in deep black, and wore no jewellery except a golden bracelet shaped as a snake, the sombreness of her costume heightening the deathlike refinement and pallor of her countenance.
As she stepped across to me quickly, and held out her gloved hand, I exclaimed concernedly--
"Why, what has occurred?"
"I have been ill," she answered vaguely, and she sank into a chair and placed her hand to her heart, panting for the exertion of walking had been too great for her.
"I"m exceedingly sorry," I replied. "I"ve been expecting you for several weeks. Why did you not leave your address with me last time?"