"Now, boys," he said, "here are your pa.s.ses for mortality, and remember you have two souls."
The firemen vanished and the Devil was alone in h.e.l.l.
He drew on the furs and wrapped his own travelling cape about them. Then he went into the outer chamber. Across the room the windows, into which usually shone the cheery redness of roaring flames, were now frosted with weird designs, and the fireproof platinum fittings on the great door were h.o.a.ry white.
Slowly the Devil trudged across the chill chamber and, with a fur-clad hand, grasped the frosted handle, swung open the great door, and stepped out on the balcony.
For a moment he was blinded by the dazzling, sparkling white. He stumbled over some object and bent down to find the huddled form of a demon frozen stiff as an ice idol. It was poor little Beezel, who had come all the way from the h.e.l.l of the three-ringed planet to try out his new scheme of torture for trigamists.
I. B. Devil stepped lightly over his frozen disciple and went to the balcony rail. Shading his eyes until they became accustomed to the white glare, he now looked far up and down the wide stretches of his domain, puzzled, dumbfounded and subdued. The water mains that supplied the steam baths had burst and flooded the place, and all h.e.l.l was frozen over!
I. B. Devil leaped from the bal.u.s.trade and straight as an arrow shot upward to Gud"s Paradise.
He paused for a moment only outside the portals to discard the furs he wore, then he pushed open the great unguarded gate and stepped inside.
It was a goodly heaven, vast and beautiful and shining in its new-made emptiness.
I. B. Devil did not pause for admiration, but went straightway to Gud"s private office and kicked open the door. There was no one there. Beside the larger desk was a lesser one, and on this lay a powder puff and a small mirror. The Devil stepped to the file cabinet, flung it open; and with uncanny accuracy reached in, pulled out the carbon copy of the order for souls, and read:
"In accordance with your quotation, you may ship us at once three billion mortal souls."
"Poor old chap," mused the Devil, "I should never have trusted one."
Then he stepped outside and mounted to the throne of Gud. There he found a note pinned to the upholstery. It read: "We have gone to h.e.l.l."
The Devil went back to the portal of Gud"s heaven and picked up the furs: "I guess," he said, "I had better take them down to her."
But Gud let her go to h.e.l.l alone, for in the course of their headlong flight, he heard the faint sound of far off barking. Wheeling in the ether Gud made straight for the campfire, where he had left Fidu watching the beans.
"Did the beans boil over?" asked Gud.
"No, indeed," said Fidu, in his best dog language, "but you were gone so long that I caught a nice wild boar so that there is pork in the beans."
"Don"t you know, Fidu," admonished Gud, "that I disapprove of eating pork?"
"But," said Fidu, "this was a vegetarian pig, for he was rooting for peanuts when I caught him."
Chapter LXIV
There are figures in the shadow but the shadow hides the faces, And their silence is a subject that must flagellate the flesh.
There are hands and arms that touch you with their lingering embraces Like the petals of clipped flowers still miraculously fresh.
There are voices through the darkness "round which darkness swiftly closes; Remembered words and phrases that are only lost in death, Heard within some misted twilight in a garden filled with roses As though our own youth whispered with its awed and hollow breath.
There is nothing in the shadow that will satisfy our quest, For each sh.o.r.e that"s undiscovered has been lined with molding wrecks, And if we should burst on Beauty with her healing hands of rest Life would bind us down in duty to some slavery of s.e.x.
There is something quite sardonic in the race"s old ideals, And the struggle for their gaining is derisive as a jest....
He who prays unto his G.o.dhead will be wiped out as he kneels, While the wonders of decay will destroy all the rest.
We are grinding in the shadow for the glory of the ages, Though no hope of immortality has ever come to stay; Yet each human soul is fretting at the bars of separate cages Hearing rhythms of tomorrow in the discords of today.
All the ones who started seeking when the game was strange and new, See the beauty of believing lost in wonders of deceit There is truth in every vision, but the day is hardly through, Ere the night is all around us with her silence and defeat.
There is dogma, there is duty in the urge of dead emotion Through the worshipped G.o.ds of yesterday the present G.o.ds exist Hid away among our temples for the dreams of our devotion The alters of the ages in their ruins still persist.
Let the mothers bear their children for the centuries to come There is truth in adoration for the thing that is adored And if all the many answers on the lips of life are dumb At least the coming children may be murdered for the Lord.
Chapter LXV
After Gud had regaled himself on pork and beans he laid down under a deadly nightshade tree and fell asleep. As he slept a worm happened along and stepped on Gud, and Gud turned.
"Pardon," said the worm, "but I did not notice you until you turned. You see I was very preoccupied, for I have just returned from the Diet of Worms, which was called by the Conqueror Worm to suppress a book. As soon as I heard that a book had been suppressed I went in search of a copy. I found one in the Master"s chamber of a deserted mansion of the newly cultured. I carefully chewed it up and removed the fragments to my nest, where I pieced them together again."
"What kind of book is it?" asked Gud. "I am rather fond of forbidden books."
"It is a book of etiquette," replied the worm, "and if you will promise me not to mark it up or tear out any choice pa.s.sages, I will lend you my copy."
So Gud sat down upon a gravel and the worm climbed a stalk of timothy and handed Gud the book; but it was so badly patched up that he could not read it.
"Perhaps," suggested the worm, "I should read it to you. See, this is the table of contents. It says:
""How to shake hands with gloves on.
""How to introduce people who already know each other.
""How to steal postage stamps without having a guilty conscience.
""How to dance without knowing how.
""How to pretend to understand relativity.
""What to wear if you don"t like spats.
""How to tell a risque story in the presence of a minister.
""How to get rich without making your friends envious.