For one thing, there was the resolution that Paul Dampier took just after he had turned abruptly from her, had taken short leave of the others, and when he was striding down Whitehall to the bus that went past the door of his Camden Town rooms. And for another thing, there was the reason for that resolution.
Now, in the fairy-stories of modern life, it is (of the two princ.i.p.als) not always the Princess who has to be woken by a kiss, a touch, from the untroubled sleep of years. Sometimes it is the Prince who is suddenly stirred, jarred, or jolted broad awake by the touch, in some form or other, of Love. In Paul Dampier"s case the every-day miracle had been wrought by the soft weight of that dove-breasted girl against his heart for no longer than he could count ten, by her sliding to the earth through an embrace that he had not intended for an embrace at all.
It hadn"t seemed to matter what _he_ had intended!
In a flock as of homing pigeons there flew back upon the young aviator all at once his thoughts of the Little Thing ever since he"d met her.
How he"d thought her so jolly to look at ("So sensible"--this he forgot). How topping and natural it had seemed to sit there with her in that field, talking to her, drinking with her out of one silver cup. How he"d found himself wanting to touch her curls; to span and squeeze her throat with his hands. How he"d been within an inch of summarily kissing that fox-glove pink mouth of hers, that night at the Dance....
And to-day, when he"d come to Westminster for another talk with that rather decent young Frenchman of Hugo"s, when he hadn"t thought of seeing the girl at all, what had happened? He"d actually held her clasped in his arms, as a sweetheart is clasped.
Only by a sheer accident, of course.
Yes, but an accident that had left impressed on every fibre of him the feeling of that warm and breathing burden which seemed even yet to rest against his quickened heart.
In that heart there surged up a clamorous impulse to go back at once. To s.n.a.t.c.h her up for the second time in his arms, and not to let her go again, either. To satisfy that hunger of his fingers and lips for the touch of her----
"_Hold_ hard!" muttered the boy to himself. "Hang it all, this won"t do."
For he had found himself actually turning back, his face set towards the Abbey.
He spun round on the hot pavement towards home again.
"Look here; can"t have this!" he told himself grimly as he walked on, swinging his straw hat in his hand, towards Trafalgar Square. "At this rate I shall be making an a.s.s of myself before I know where I am; going and falling in--going and getting myself much too dashed fond of the Little Thing."
Yes! He now saw that he was in some danger of that.
And if it did come to anything, he mused, walking among the London summer crowd, it wouldn"t be one of these Fancy-dress-dance flirtations. Not that sort of girl. "Nor was he; really." Not that sort of man, he meant. Sort of thing never had amused him, much; not, he knew, because he was cold-blooded ("Lord, no!") but partly because he"d had such stacks of other things to do, partly because--because he"d always thought it ought to be (and could be) so much more--well, amusing than it was. This other. This with the Little Thing--he somehow knew that it would have to be "for keeps."
And _that_ he couldn"t have. Good Lord, no! There could be no question--Great Scott!
For yes, if there _was_ anything between him and the Little Thing, it would have to be an engagement. Marriage, and all that.
And Paul Dampier didn"t intend to get married. Out of the question for him.
He"d only just managed to sc.r.a.pe through and make "some sort of a footing" for himself in the world as it was. His father, a hard-up Civil engineer, and his mother (who had been looked askance at by her people, the Swaynes, for marrying the penniless and undistinguished Paul Dampier, senior)--they"d only just managed to give their boy "some kind of an education" before they pegged out. Lessons at home when he"d been a little fellow. Afterwards one of the (much) smaller public-schools.
For friends and pleasures and holidays he had been dependent on what he could "pick up" for himself. Old Hugo had been decent enough. He"d asked his cousin to fish with him in Wales, twice, and he hadn"t allowed Paul to feel that he was--the poor relation.
Only Paul remembered the day that Hugo was going back to Harrow for the last time. He, Paul, had then been a year in the shops, to the day. He remembered the sudden resentment of that. It was not sn.o.bbery, not envy.
It was Youth in him crying out, "I will be served! I won"t be put off, and stopped doing things, and shoved out of things for ever, just because I"m poor. If being poor means being "out of it," having no Power of any kind, I"m dashed if I _stay_ poor. I"ll show that I can make good----"
And, gradually, step by step, the young mechanic, pilot, aero-racer and inventor had been "making good."
He"d made friends, too. People had been decent. He"d been made to feel that _they_ felt he was going to be a useful sort of chap. He"d quailed a bit under the eyes of butlers in these houses where he"d stayed, but he"d been asked again. That Mrs. What"s-her-name (the woman in the pink frock at the Smiths) had been awfully kind. Introducing him to her brothers with capital; asking him down to the New Forest to meet some other influential person; and knowing that he couldn"t entertain in return. (He"d just sent her some flowers and some tickets for Brooklands.) Then there was Colonel Conyers. He"d asked whether he (Dampier) were engaged. And, at his answer, had replied, "Good. Much easier for a bachelor, these days."
And now! Supposing he got married?
On his screw? Paul Dampier laughed bitterly.
Well, but supposing he got engaged; got some wretched girl to wait for----
Years of it! Thanks!
Then, quite apart from the money-question, what about all his work?
Everything he wanted to do! Everything he was really in earnest about.
His scheme--his invention--his Machine!
"End of it all, if he went complicating matters by starting a _girl_!"
Take up all his time. Interrupt--putting him off his job--yes, he knew!
Putting him off, like this afternoon in the yard, and that other night at the Dance. Only more so. Incessant. "Mustn"t have it; quite simply, he must _not_."
Messing up his whole chance of a career, if----
But he was pulling himself up in time from that danger.
Up to now he hadn"t realised that there might be something in all that rot of old Hugo"s about the struggle in a man"s mind between an Aeroplane and a Girl. Now--well, he"d realised. All the better. Now he was forewarned. Good thing he could take a side for himself now.
By the time he"d reached the door of the National Portrait Gallery and stood waiting for his motor omnibus, he had definitely taken that resolution of which Gwenna Williams did not know.
Namely, that he must drop seeing the Girl. Have nothing more to say to her. It was better so; wiser. Whatever he"d promised about taking her up would have to be "off."
A pity--! Dashed shame a man couldn"t have _everything_! She was ... so awfully sweet....
Still, got to decide one way or the other.
This would fix it before it was too late, before he"d perhaps managed to put ideas into the head of the Little Thing. She shouldn"t ever come flying, with him!
That _ended_ it! he thought. He"d made up _his_ mind. He would not allow himself to wonder what _she_ might think.
After all, what _would_ a girl think? Probably nothing.
Nothing at all, probably.
CHAPTER XV
LESLIE ON "TOO MUCH LOVE"
It seemed to be decided for Gwenna that she should, after all, give notice at the office.
For on the evening of the day of her climb up the scaffolding she met the tall, sketchily-dressed figure of her chum coming down the hill that she was ascending on her way to the Club. And Leslie accosted her with the words, "Child, d"you happen to want to leave your place and take another job? Because, if so, come along for a walk and we"ll talk about it."