And you, too, Emma. You didn"t come, too."
They reminded her that they"d told her they were going on a little trip.
"I like trips, too. I go with you."
"We already went," Jonas explained.
"You went on the trip and now you comed back?"
"That"s right."
"Next time, I go."
"We"ll talk about that next time."
"No. Next time, I go."
Emma laughed then, and grabbed Mandy up in her arms. "We"re here now, honey. And we"re so glad to see you..."
"You better give me a big kiss," Mandy said in a warning tone.
"Good idea. Here it is, one giant-sized smackeroo comin" right at you..."
After the visit to the nursery, they both went to work. There was a lot to catch up on.
Jonas was in meetings until after six, then he had a dinner appointment he couldn"t get out of. That lasted until nine.
It was a quarter of ten by the time he finally climbed the stairs again at Angel"s Crest. He went straight to Emma"s rooms.
She was waiting for him in the sitting area, perched on the black and gold sofa, fully dressed in the same clothes she"d worn earlier in the day a clingy purple skirt and skimpy silk top.
The Yorkies and the cat had claimed the bed. The dogs sat up when they saw him and perked up their ears. He went over and gave them each a scratch under their whiskery chins.
"Did you eat?" He left the dogs and approached her.
She nodded. "Palmer sent up a tray a couple of hours ago."
"Good." He stopped across the ebony coffee table from her and studied her face. She seemed ... subdued, somehow. Too self-contained.
What had happened that morning came back to him. How she had praised him for the way he"d changed, and shared the news that Tory was expecting another child. How he had wondered then what was on her mind that she wasn"t telling him.
He found he was wondering the same thing now. He unhooked his cuff links, bent and set them in a small Limoges dish on the coffee table. He began to unb.u.t.ton his shirt. "I could use a good, hot shower."
"Jonas..."
He froze, his fingers at the second b.u.t.ton of his shirt. He let a second or two elapse before he gave in and responded. "What?" She surged up, reached across the coffee table and put her hands over his hands, as if to stop him from undoing even one more b.u.t.ton. "We have to talk."
He didn"t like the way she said that. "We do?"
"Yes."
"About what?"
"Come over here. Sit down..." She tugged on his hands.
He allowed her to guide him around to her side of the coffee table. They sat on the sofa, side by side. He waited. Whatever had to be said, he knew very well that he wouldn"t be the one saying it.
She cleared her throat. And then she confessed bleakly, "I love you, Jonas. I think I fell in love with you on our weddin" night. And it seems to me like, every day, I keep lovin" you more."
He reached out, hooked his hand around her neck and brought her sweet face close to his. A single tear slid down her soft cheek. He rubbed it away with his thumb. "This is a problem?"
She sniffed. "I didn"t think so at first, but now..."
"What? I don"t get this." He felt more than a little insulted. "You actually see loving me as a problem?"
"Let me explain." Reluctantly but firmly, she pulled back.
He let her go. "That sounds like a good idea."
She folded her hands in her lap and looked down at them. "Well, it"s just that, this marriage of ours, it was for a purpose. And I realized this morning..." Her head came up and she met his eyes. "That purpose is served. You are the man you need to be, for yourself, and for Mandy"s sake."
"So?"
"So, you don"t need me anymore."
d.a.m.n. He did not like this. He did not like it at all. "What, exactly, are you telling me?"
"Well, Jonas. It"s just that I think it"s time I set you free."
He regarded her for a moment. She looked so earnest, so distressed. He said with great care, "Let me make this very clear. I have no desire to be set free."
Her lower lip was trembling. "You..." She swallowed, convulsively. "You don"t?"
"No. I don"t. I ... d.a.m.n it, Emma." It wasn"t easy, saying what he knew he must say next. It was something he had said to only one other woman in his life. That woman had been Blythe, and he had been a very young child at the time. "I love you, too."
"Oh, Jonas..." Another tear fell. She swiped it away with the heel of her hand.
He dared to smile. "So you see? We have no problem at all." He leaned closer.
She sighed. He almost let himself believe everything would be all right.
But then just before he could capture her lips, she turned her head away. "I"m sorry." She drew herself up. "But I have to disagree with you."
"No, you don"t." The words slipped out before he could stop them. They were something the new, improved Jonas should have had the grace not to say.
But then again, it probably didn"t matter what he said. She wasn"t listening anyway.
She insisted, miserably, "We do have a problem."
He raked both hands back through his hair. "Fine. All right. And that problem is?"
"Oh, Jonas..." She seemed unable to find the right words.
He waited some more, telling himself to be patient, to give her time to frame her thoughts. There was a box of tissues on the side table. She yanked one out and blew her nose. Then she wadded the tissue in her fist and said, "I think you think you love me. We"re good together ... in bed. And you"re ... grateful to me. For the way I helped you, for everything that"s happened, from at last bein" able to remember your dream, to findin" your brother and Marsh. Sometimes, a person can confuse grat.i.tude with love."
Irritation had begun to crackle through him. He tried to quell it. But no matter how changed he was in some ways, he remained the same man essentially. And that man hardly appreciated being told that he didn"t know the difference between grat.i.tude and love.
She began twisting her wedding ring around and around on her finger. "And in a way, I"ve been kind of like your therapist, now, haven"t I? And it is just ... well, it"s a natural part of healin", for the patient to think he"s in love with his doctor."
Jonas reminded himself that he was not going to begin shouting at her. "Emma, this is ridiculous. Doctors at least doctors with even a scintilla of integrity don"t sleep with their patients. And they sure as h.e.l.l don"t marry them."
"Yes, that"s right. And maybe I shouldn"t have-"
"The point being, you are not my doctor, d.a.m.n it. And we both know it."
"Yes, but I have helped you. And you are grateful."
"And it follows, for those reasons, that I don"t know love when I"m in it? Is that really what you"re trying to tell me?" "Jonas. I just think you at least need a little time. I think if I really love you which I do I won"t take advantage of-" "That"s enough." He stood. "This conversation is going nowhere at an alarming speed." She looked at him reproachfully. "I am sorry you feel that way. I think what I"m doing is a wise thing. I think it"s the right thing."
"You love me so you"re leaving me? What the h.e.l.l is wise and right about that?"
"You are twisting what I"ve said."
"d.a.m.n it, Emma. Listen. I don"t want you to go."
She shook her head. With a grim sort of fury, he recognized the look in her eye. She was certain she was right.
And there was no budging Emma Lynn Hewitt Bravo when she was certain she was right.
She said, "I am setting you free, Jonas. I am giving you Mandy to raise. You have my word that I"ll never contest your right to custody."
He shrugged. He believed her. She was messing up royally, walking out on him like this. But she didn"t tell lies. She invariably stood by her word. He would have what he"d wanted in the first place the right to guide his little sister to adulthood.
Too bad that now he wanted so much more.
She said, "I imagine there will be papers you"ll want me to sign. You know, something that says I promise I"ll never sue you for custody."
He just looked at her.
She stammered on. "You could... I mean, well, as soon as Mr. McAllister has those papers ready, he can just give me a call and-" "Enough."
She gulped and she kept her mouth shut.He asked, "How long am I supposed to stay away from you?"She looked stricken. "I don"t ... how can we know that, right now? I just want you to have time, to be certain that this marriage, which was forced on you, is really what you want."
He decided against reiterating for the what? Fourth or fifth time? that he already knew what he wanted and her walking out on him was not it. "When are you leaving?"
"Right away."
"You"re already packed?"
"Yes. I"ve taken everything out to my SUV, I was just waitin", for you to come home. So we could talk."
"I see." And he did. He saw that he"d never had a chance. She"d been ready to go before he walked in the room and he should have known, should have taken a look around, noticed that, like that time before, when she"d packed up Mandy and run off to her own house, all the little things that made this room Emma"s were gone.
"Jonas, I hope you"ll let me visit Mandy. I don"t want to just disappear from her life."
He had to get out of there. If he stayed, he might start throwing things. And if not that, he might actually beg her to stay. He"d never forgive himself for the former and he"d never forgive her if he ended up descending to the latter.
"Come any time. I"ll tell Palmer you are always welcome."
"Thank you."
He turned and left her, shutting the door quietly behind him.
Chapter 22.
P almer brought him her wedding ring the next day. She had left it with his cuff links, in the china dish on the coffee table.
Within two days, the tabloids had the story. Some smart reporter must have put two and two together and discovered that Emma had moved back to her own North Hollywood duplex.
"Trouble in Paradise ," "Billionaire Dumps Dog Groomer" and "Splitsville for the Blonde and the Billionaire" were just a few of the headlines. Jonas read a couple of the stories. They were all fabrications, the only real fact involved being that Emma had been spotted apparently living at her own house. After he"d a.s.sured himself that no one was talking who shouldn"t be, Jonas went back to his usual method of dealing with the press: he ignored it.
The Santa Anas came up, hot winds racing down from the northeast, roaring through the canyons, bringing on the season of fire. Blazes raged in Riverside County and near San Diego . A firefighter in Calimesa suffered a heart attack while hosing down a flaming roof. People prayed for rain. For the winds to die down.
Jonas worked and he worked hard. He ate right and made good use of the private gym at Angel"s Crest. He took care of himself. Frustration and anger with Emma preyed on him. He was determined that they wouldn"t bring him down.
He spent time with Mandy, and he signed her up to go three days a week to a certain excellent day care/ preschool he"d learned about. It was important, he realized now, for her to get out and mix with other children. Security didn"t seem quite so big an issue, now that he understood what had happened all those years ago, now that his brother"s kidnapper had a face.
He decided to cut back on his security force, to relax his precautions a little. Somehow, that seemed the right thing to do. Yes, there was always danger. Random acts of cruelty and violence did occur. But he didn"t want Mandy growing up thinking she had to live her life in fear.
On Sat.u.r.day and again on Monday of the first week after Emma left him, he came home to find that red SUV of hers parked in the wide court in front of the house. He went straight to his private rooms when he saw she was visiting. He didn"t want to run into her, didn"t want to see her face or hear her voice.
He did understand that she believed she was doing him some kind of favor by leaving him. Intellectually, he understood, anyway. But in his heart and his gut something more basic was going on. It was not pretty, what he felt for her lately.
He knew that at some point, he"d be driven to go after her.
He hoped that by the time that happened, he"d have forgiven her, at least partially, for treating him like some sort of emotional idiot, for refusing to believe that he might actually know what he wanted and that what he wanted was to spend the rest of his life with her.
On Tuesday, the fifth day after Emma walked out on him, he called Ledger DelVecchio and asked him to dinner. They drank too much and they discussed, in depth, the supposed emotional superiority of women.
"They think they know it all when it comes to matters of the heart," Ledger intoned at some point well along in the evening. "But most of the time, they"re just like the rest of us. Stumbling around blindfolded, in the dark without a clue..."
Jonas put Ledger in a car and sent him home at a little after two. Ledger rolled down his window to impart one last word of advice. "Give it another week or two," he said. "Then go get her."