There was an irony in it that made him laugh hopelessly.
He occupied himself then with ways and means, and sold the car.
Reynolds, about to be married and busily furnishing a city office, bought it, had it repainted a bright blue, and signified to the world at large that he was at the Rossiter house every night by leaving it at the curb. Sometimes, on long country tramps, d.i.c.k saw it outside a farmhouse, and knew that the boycott was not limited to the town.
By Christmas, however, he realized that the question of meeting their expenses necessitated further economies, and reluctantly at last they decided to let Mike go. d.i.c.k went out to the stable with a distinct sinking of the heart, while David sat in the house, unhappily waiting for the thing to be done. But Mike refused to be discharged.
"And is it discharging me you are?" he asked, putting down one of David"s boots in his angry astonishment. "Well, then, I"m telling you you"re not."
"We can"t pay you any longer, Mike. And now that the car"s gone--"
"I"m not thinking about pay. I"m not going, and that"s flat. Who"d be after doing his boots and all?"
David called him in that night and dismissed him again, this time very firmly. Mike said nothing and went out, but the next morning he was scrubbing the sidewalk as usual, and after that they gave it up.
Now and then d.i.c.k and Elizabeth met on the street, and she bowed to him and went on. At those times it seemed incredible that once he had held her in his arms, and that she had looked up at him with loving, faithful eyes. He suffered so from those occasional meetings that he took to watching for her, so as to avoid her. Sometimes he wished she would marry Wallace quickly, so he would be obliged to accept what now he knew he had not accepted at all.
He had occasional spells of violent anger at her, and of resentment, but they died when he checked up, one after the other, the inevitable series of events that had led to the catastrophe. But it was all nonsense to say that love never died. She had loved him, and there was never anything so dead as that love of hers.
He had been saved one thing, however; he had never seen her with Wallie Sayre. Then, one day in the country while he trudged afoot to make one of his rare professional visits, they went past together in Wallie"s bright roadster. The sheer shock of it sent him against a fence, staring after them with an anger that shook him.
Late in November Elizabeth went away for a visit, and it gave him a breathing spell. But the strain was telling on him, and Ba.s.sett, stopping on his way to dinner at the Wheelers", told him so bluntly.
"You look pretty rotten," he said. "It"s no time to go to pieces now, when you"ve put up your fight and won it."
"I"m all right. I haven"t been sleeping. That"s all."
"How about the business? People coming to their senses?"
"Not very fast," d.i.c.k admitted. "Of course it"s a little soon."
After dinner at the Wheelers", when Walter Wheeler had gone to a vestry meeting, Ba.s.sett delivered himself to Margaret of a highly indignant harangue on the situation in general.
"That"s how I see it," he finished. "He"s done a fine thing. A finer thing by a d.a.m.ned sight than I"d do, or any of this town. He"s given up money enough to pay the national debt--or nearly. If he"d come back with it, as Judson Clark, they wouldn"t have cared a hang for the past.
They"d have licked his boots. It makes me sick."
He turned on her.
"You too, I think, Mrs. Wheeler. I"m not attacking you on that score; it"s human nature. But it"s the truth."
"Perhaps. I don"t know."
"They"ll drive him to doing it yet. He came back to make a place for himself again, like a man. Not what he had, but what he was. But they"ll drive him away, mark my words."
Later on, but more gently, he introduced the subject of Elizabeth.
"You can"t get away from this, Mrs. Wheeler. So long as she stands off, and you behind her, the town is going to take her side. She doesn"t know it, but that"s how it stands. It all hangs on her. If he wasn"t the man he is, I"d say his salvation hangs on her. I don"t mean she ought to take him back; it"s too late for that, if she"s engaged. But a little friendliness and kindness wouldn"t do any harm. You too. Do you ever have him here?"
"How can I, as things are?"
"Well, be friendly, anyhow," he argued. "That"s not asking much. I suppose he"d cut my throat if he knew, but I"m a straight-to-the-mark sort of person, and I know this: what this house does the town will do."
"I"ll talk to Mr. Wheeler. I don"t know. I"ll say this, Mr. Ba.s.sett.
I won"t make her unhappy. She has borne a great deal, and sometimes I think her life is spoiled. She is very different."
"If she is suffering, isn"t it possible she cares for him?"
But Margaret did not think so. She was so very calm. She was so calm that sometimes it was alarming.
"He gave her a ring, and the other day I found it, tossed into a drawer full of odds and ends. I haven"t seen it lately; she may have sent it back."
Elizabeth came home shortly before Christmas, undeniably glad to be back and very gentle with them all. She set to work almost immediately on the gifts, wrapping them and tying them with methodical exactness, sticking a tiny sprig of holly through the ribbon bow, and writing cards with neatness and care. She hung up wreaths and decorated the house, and when she was through with her work she went to her room and sat with her hands folded, not thinking. She did not think any more.
Wallie had sent her a flexible diamond bracelet as a Christmas gift and it lay on her table in its box. She was very grateful, but she had not put it on.
On the morning before Christmas Nina came in, her arms full of packages, and her eyes shining and a little frightened. She had some news for them. She hadn"t been so keen about it, at first, but Leslie was like a madman. He was so pleased that he was ordering her that sable cape she had wanted so. He was like a different man. And it would be July.
Elizabeth kissed her. It seemed very unreal, like everything else. She wondered why Leslie should be so excited, or her mother crying. She wondered if there was something strange about her, that it should see so small and unimportant. But then, what was important? That one got up in the morning, and ate at intervals, and went to bed at night? That children came, and had to be fed and washed and tended, and cried a great deal, and were sick now and then?
She wished she could feel something, could think it vital whether Nina should choose pink or blue for her layette, and how far she should walk each day, and if the chauffeur drove the car carefully enough.
She wished she cared whether it was going to rain to-morrow or not, or whether some one was coming, or not coming. And she wished terribly that she could care for Wallie, or get over the feeling that she had saved her pride at a cost to him she would not contemplate.
After a time she went upstairs and put on the bracelet. And late in the afternoon she went out and bought some wool, to make an afghan. It eased her conscience toward Nina. She commenced it that evening while she waited for Wallie, and she wondered if some time she would be making an afghan for a coming child of her own. Hers and Wallace Sayre"s.
Suddenly she knew she would never marry him. She faced the future, with all that it implied, and she knew she could not do it. It was horrible that she had even contemplated it. It would be terrible to tell Wallie, but not as terrible as the other thing. She saw herself then with the same clearness with which she had judged d.i.c.k. She too, leaving her havoc of wrecked lives behind her; she too going along her headstrong way, raising hopes not to be fulfilled, and pa.s.sing on. She too.
That evening, Christmas eve, she told Wallie she would not marry him.
Told him very gently, and just after an attempt of his to embrace her.
She would not let him do it.
"I don"t know what"s come over you," he said morosely. "But I"ll let you alone, if that"s the way you feel."
"I"m sorry, Wallie. It--it makes me shiver."
In a way he was prepared for it but nevertheless he begged for time, for a less unequivocal rejection. But he found her, for the first time, impatient with his pleadings.
"I don"t want to go over and over it, Wallie. I"ll take the blame. I should have done it long ago."
She was gentle, almost tender with him, but when he said she had spoiled his life for him she smiled faintly.
"You think that now. And don"t believe I"m not sorry. I am. I hate not playing the game, as you say. But I don"t think for a moment that you"ll go on caring when you know I don"t. That doesn"t happen. That"s all."
"Do you know what I think?" he burst out. "I think you"re still mad about Livingstone. I think you are so mad about him that you don"t know it yourself."
But she only smiled her cool smile and went on with her knitting. After that he got himself in hand, and--perhaps he still had some hope. It was certain that she had not flinched at d.i.c.k"s name--told her very earnestly that he only wanted her happiness. He didn"t want her unless she wanted him. He would always love her.
"Not always," she said, with tragically cold certainty. "Men are not like women; they forget."
She wondered, after he had gone, what had made her say that.