"And I don"t want you to go, but unless we mate tonight ..."
She shook her head, a tear fell. "You"re nothing like him and this last week has been the best of my life," her voice caught. "I"m one hundred percent behind being with you for the foreseeable future. I never thought I would want to live with someone so quickly again but I"m fully behind doing that too." She sniffed and another tear fell. "I don"t want your family jewels ... okay, not the diamond and gold ones," she gave a nervous laugh. It held zero humor.
Thunder felt his throat close and his eyes sting.
"This thing between us is already moving so quickly ... too quickly. I can"t mate you so soon, it wouldn"t be right because I"d be doing it for the wrong reasons. I"d be doing it to stay and not because ..." she shook her head. "I have strong feelings for you, but I can"t be in love with you already. It"s not possible. Not after such a short time. I can"t do this ... I just can"t."
f.u.c.king h.e.l.l! So this is what a broken heart felt like. He completely understood where she was coming from. After everything she had been through, it was a miracle she"d made it this far this quickly. She had strong feelings for him. He knew she did. If she wasn"t all the way there already, she would be soon. It was a d.a.m.n shame. A crying shame.
"Are you sure, female?" Blaze asked. "There is no going back. If you decide to leave, the two of you may never see each other again. The penalty would be your throne," Blaze looked him head-on. "You stay away from this female or you will be banished."
Thunder hadn"t been aware that the penalty was so harsh. It felt like he was drowning without a drop of water in sight. Like his world was collapsing.
"I thought you said you would come for me," Tammy"s eyes were wide and tear-soaked. Her lip quivered.
"I will," he choked out.
"You will not!" Blaze smashed the table with his fist. "You would give up everything for a female who won"t take a chance on you? She doesn"t love you, she said it herself." It hurt to hear the male say it. "You would be f.u.c.king crazy. This is how it"s going to be, the human will stay the night, at first light ..." Blaze locked eyes with Tammy. Her chest rose and fell in quick succession. "You will be taken back to your human settlement. Do not try and contact Thunder. If you have any feelings for the male, you will turn him away if he ever goes to you. He is needed here, he has a kingdom to run, heirs to produce. He has family and friends here who do love him. There will be someone in his future who will deserve him and cherish him ... ask me, I know." Blaze clasped a hand over Thunder"s wrist. Thunder"s first instinct was to pull away. To punch the male, but he couldn"t do it on both counts. Blaze had tried. The male had been willing to bend the rules. To bend them so hard that they might even be considered broken afterwards. He was trying to show Thunder that he cared even if his methods sucked.
"Don"t let him do this," Tammy was crying openly. Her shoulders shook. "Please, don"t. I"m not ready for marriage but it doesn"t mean I don"t want to be with you, because I do. You do understand that, don"t you? Please understand." She sounded desperate.
Thunder nodded, his eyes were hurting so d.a.m.ned badly. "I understand," his voice sounded funny as well. "I do."
"Thunder," Blaze drew his attention back to him. "You will also stay in my lair tonight. You are in no state to return to your kingdom and when you do," he paused, "you will be watched day and night. Storm can take over your duties for a while. I won"t let you f.u.c.k your life up, do you hear me?"
Thunder nodded, he was feeling numb. This wasn"t happening.
"You will take place in the next eligible hunt and you will win a female."
"No!" Tammy gripped his arm, using both of her hands. "This is crazy! I can"t believe this is happening." She mirrored his feelings in that regard.
"He doesn"t have a choice. You made your decision and now you must accept it."
"I won"t!" Tammy shoved her chair back. Within seconds four Fire warriors surrounded them.
"Don"t f.u.c.king touch her!" Thunder shot to his feet as well. Two of the males grabbed each of his arms, another wrapped his arms around his chest. "Blaze!" he yelled. "Don"t let them touch her."
"I"m sorry," Blaze paused for a moment, "it"s going to be a long night." The Fire king shook his head. "Take him to his chamber," Blaze commanded the warriors. "Make sure he stays put."
Tammy was trying to pull free from the fourth warrior. "Take her to her chamber," Blaze addressed the warrior.
"Get your f.u.c.king hands off of her!" Thunder roared.
His female screamed his name, the sound was filled with anguish.
Adrenaline pumped through him and he fought against the three males but together they were too strong for him. They dragged him from the chamber. His female kept screaming for him all the while. The male who was holding her grunted. "Stop kicking," he ordered.
"f.u.c.k you!" she screamed, before shouting Thunder"s name. Each time she said it, it was like a silver-tipped spear to the heart.
Chapter 22.
There was a knock at the door. Tammy pulled the pillow over her head. It wasn"t Thunder and she didn"t care about anyone else. She didn"t want to see anyone else, so she buried her head even deeper. She went from feeling like an idiot for letting Thunder go, to feeling angry they had been torn apart because of some ancient rule.
The pillow was tugged off of her head and a sympathetic stare greeted her. "I"m so sorry this happened."
"I don"t really want to talk about it," her voice broke and fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. She didn"t think it would be possible for a person to cry this much. Tammy rolled onto her side and away from the other woman.
"That"s too bad because we are going to talk about it." Roxy"s voice was stern.
Tammy turned back. "Thank you for your concern, but ..."
Roxy narrowed her eyes. "I am not here to show my concern or to rub your back and dry your tears."
Tammy could feel she was frowning. She used the back of her hand to wipe her nose.
"I"m here to kick your a.s.s." Roxy lifted a hand. "Not literally." She looked down at her belly, which was rather large. "Obviously. I am due pretty much any minute, so I would appreciate it if we kept my stress levels down."
"Go right ahead," Tammy snapped. "Do your worst. There is nothing you could say to make me feel any more s.h.i.t than I do."
"You love him. Why couldn"t you just admit it?" She took a seat on the edge of the bed.
"It"s too soon for that." Why did these people keep making her repeat it? It was getting annoying.
"You wouldn"t be reacting like this," Roxy made a flourish with her hand, "completely devastated if you didn"t have strong feelings for him."
"I do have strong feelings for him, but marriage ..." she pushed out a breath. "We"re not ready to take that step."
"We?" Roxy raised her brows and c.o.c.ked her head. "Really, Tamara? Are you sure you can speak for him when you say that? Have you even asked him how he feels? Asked him his opinion on all of this."
"Yes, we agreed on this. We agreed we would take it slow. Thunder has told me more than once that there"s no rush."
"Did he tell you that because it"s what he wants or did he say it for your benefit?"
Tammy lifted her eyes in thought. She went over their conversations. "It may have been more for me, but he was fine with it ... more than fine. What are you trying to get at?" She sat up.
"I can safely say that Thunder is more than ready to mate you." Roxy rubbed her belly. Her back was straight.
"I know that he would mate me in a heartbeat if it meant keeping me here, but he might regret it." Her lip quivered so she bit down on it. "We both might end up regretting it. I don"t know him that well yet. He hardly knows me. I would hate it if he regretted the decision. Either one of us for that matter."
"Would you ever blatantly hurt the guy or cheat on him or ...?"
"No!" Tammy yelled. "Of course not." Softer this time. "What are you trying to get at?"
"You say that he hardly knows you, but I can guarantee that he knows enough. He"s a dragon shifter. They know pretty quickly when someone is for them."
She shook her head. "He just thinks he knows, but-"
"No!" It was Roxy"s turn to yell. "He"s a shifter. When I tell you he knows, he knows. He is calling you his female. He"s biting your neck, fighting for you, he"s willing to throw everything away for you and probably will because he already sees you as his mate. It"s not my place to tell you all this but someone has to before it"s too late. Thunder loves you, you idiot!" She sucked in a breath through her nose and grimaced. Then she rubbed her belly. "It"s a Braxton hicks ... it"s a fake contraction." She took a couple more deep breaths before continuing. "If the two of you mate, he will never stop loving you. He will never cheat on you."
"You can"t know that for sure."
"I can and do." She grimaced again. "I swear, if you make me go into labor ...! It"s shifter DNA. It"s how they are wired. You can stop speaking for Thunder because you don"t know what you"re talking about."
"Why didn"t he tell me all this?"
Roxy rolled her eyes. "Because he loves you. He doesn"t want to scare you off. Blaze mentioned that you were with some d.i.c.khead who broke your heart and that it"s part of the reason you are running scared. I get it. But Thunder loves you," for the first time her voice softened, it sounded coaxing. "He"s completely smitten. He"d do just about anything for you, including going against his own instincts. In other words, he would"ve given you as much time and s.p.a.ce as you needed even if it killed him. He would"ve given you s.p.a.ce to figure things out."
"Yes, s.p.a.ce," Tammy said, another tear rolled down her cheek. "That"s exactly what we need."
"No," Roxy shook her head. "It"s what you need. Thunder would"ve taken some serious strain. It might"ve killed him not literally," she rolled her eyes again. "But close enough. You have no idea what agony it is for a shifter to go against his instincts."
"Physical pain?" Thunder would"ve suffered, for her. He wouldn"t have told her either. He would"ve waited because he was sweet like that.
Roxy nodded. "Physical. Mental. All of it. In some ways, this whole thing has been a blessing in disguise."
Right. Tammy didn"t say it. She didn"t feel it either ... not really. It killed her to think of Thunder suffering though. Especially if his suffering was because of her.
"So, this has nothing to do with Thunder. He loves you and he wants to mate with you yesterday. You need to decide what you want. What are your feelings for him? You need to set your fears aside, don"t let bulls.h.i.t clutter your thinking. Listen to your heart."
"It"s too late," she whispered. "I"m leaving in the morning. Thunder will come for me ... he has to."
Roxy made a sound of disgust. "You would let him destroy his life? He"ll be banished. A dragon shifter cannot be complete without his tribe. He will suffer. You would allow for that to happen?"
It was so selfish, she felt guilty for saying it. "I can"t live without him."
Roxy smiled, she put a hand on Tammy"s arm. "You have your answer then. You can"t live without him. Thunder can"t live without you. Surely you have your answer. Don"t make me call you an idiot again."
Tammy felt like she couldn"t catch her breath. "It"s too late though. I do want Thunder. I can"t live without him." She rubbed her temples. It felt like the start of a serious headache. Then she rubbed her sternum and antic.i.p.ated some serious heartache too. "It"s too late to do anything about it."
Roxy put a hand to her back and another anch.o.r.ed behind her, then she stood up slowly. "My back is killing me." Once she was fully upright, she gave another tired smile. "Thunder is in the chamber next to you," she pointed to the wall on the left.
Tammy gasped, clasping her hand to her mouth for a moment. "So that"s why I keep hearing banging?"
Roxy nodded. "He"s tried to escape a couple of times."
Thunder was right next door but that didn"t mean anything. "But there are guards outside. They"d never let me ..."
"The guards have been instructed not to let Thunder leave. They have no orders to prevent someone from visiting him." She feigned shock. "I guess my darling husband forgot to tell them that part."
Tammy jumped up and hugged Roxy. "Thank you! Please thank Blaze for me."
"You can invite me to the official mating ceremony when you take the plunge," she grinned.
"Thunder has to forgive me first. I pretty much told him I didn"t want him."
Roxy"s smile didn"t waver. "There"s nothing to forgive. Love and forgiveness go hand-in-hand. Let me tell you a few more things about dragon shifters, they ..." Roxy sat back down on the bed.
Thunder"s muscles bunched as he gazed out over the terrace. Three shifters paced out there, blocking his exit. Three more were outside the door. There was f.u.c.k all he could do about it. He wasn"t sure what he would do if he managed to escape anyway.
Tammy wasn"t ready to commit to him. He would be wasting his time but he had to try to talk to her. Maybe he could convince her. He strode towards the door, ready to tear it from its hinges yet again when it opened. Thunder stopped in his tracks. His mouth fell open.
One of the Fire dragons held the door so that Tammy could enter his room. He was tempted to rub his eyes. Had he hit his head? Maybe he had fallen asleep and he was dreaming. "Tammy," he whispered her name.
She thanked the Fire dragon and he growled. It couldn"t be helped.
The Fire dragon smiled. f.u.c.ker! "It is my pleasure, female. If there is anything that ..."
Thunder took a step towards the male, he rumbled low and extra deep. The lesser male"s eyes bugged out of his skull and he lowered his gaze, backpedaling as quickly as his legs would take him. That"s more like it!
Air filled his lungs again as soon as the door closed.
Thunder picked Tammy up and pulled her against him. "I don"t know how you managed to escape, but I"m so f.u.c.king glad you did. Although I"m not sure why that male let you in."
"Me too." She put her arms around his neck. "I can"t believe you even want to see me ... then again, I can believe it."
"Of course I want to see you!" He lifted her so that they were eye to eye, only about an inch apart. "When I said that I would never get enough, I meant it. I understand why you couldn"t commit right now." He clenched his jaw. It hurt but he understood. "You aren"t ready. I"m not angry. It"s not either of our faults there are stupid lores. I guess no one could predict something like this happening. You need to know, I meant it when I said I was coming for you. They can"t stop me. Can"t watch me twenty-four seven indefinitely." Tammy was his female. The last thing he wanted was to be banished, but what choice did he have?
"You really would give everything up for me?" Her voice was soft and timid, her eyes filled with tears. Her eyes were puffy and red-rimmed. He could see that she had been crying. It got his back up.
Thunder nodded. "Most definitely." He hugged her close for a moment. "Please don"t cry, I can"t take it."
She sniffed. He felt her head nod so he drew back, needing to look into her eyes. "Do you remember when you said that that my a.s.shole ex didn"t deserve me?"
His eyes darkened up. "Yes, I do. You were far too good for him."
Tammy cupped his cheeks, his stubble caught against her fingers. "Well I don"t deserve you. I"m the a.s.shole in this relationship."
What? She had this all wrong. Just like when she thought she was a gold-digger. "That"s not true."
"You are far too good for me, although ..." she narrowed her eyes on his. "I do need to give you a piece of my mind for not telling me a few things."
"Like what?" he blurted, frowning. "And for the record you do deserve me, you"re f.u.c.king perfect for me."
Her stern look softened up a whole lot. "Why didn"t you tell me that shifters have this mating urge? Roxy spoke about it in our crash course training but I had no idea how bad it could get for you."
"You weren"t ready. I can wait. I"m a grown male."
She ran a hand through his hair. "It would"ve hurt you. Physically hurt you. Mentally hurt you. Pure torture."
He nodded. "It isn"t easy to dismiss your instincts, but I would"ve been fine," he tried to sound nonchalant.