It was a night of surprises, of merriment, of revelry, of rivalries; when the bat and owl came out of their hollow, the cat out of its lair, the negro out of his cabin, the ku-klux out of his skin. It was a night that punctuated reconstruction with a red-hot iron, and dropped its dead ashes upon a score of hearth-stones. It was a night that stealthily removed the fifth wheel from the chariot of the bosses and dropped its inert body into the road.
Ah! there were surprises! Corporal Ephraim Gillum was to take unto himself a wife, and Priscilla Pinxly, a spinster, was to take unto herself husband. No doleful Jeremiads in this carnival; no forbidding of banns; no scandal on religion; no trespa.s.s on the law. "Ef dat ar white gal is a mine ter jine hersef ter dat cullud gemman, who"s ergwine ter hender?"
There were ferns and smilax, hollies and magnolias; there was an altar embellished with carnations, red and white; who shall say it was profaned by this ceremonial? There were heavily groined parlors reposing in velvety carpets, bric-a-brac and rugs. Here were the minions of reconstruction in red, white and blue, the favorites of this inst.i.tutional era; here were the animated beauties of the town bedizened, bejeweled and beflowered; here was the pompous celebrant in patent-leather slippers and dress coat, Elder Tuttle, paying court to the ladies.
Here was the bride, a very spare lady in the forties, with fishy eyes and gold spectacles. Here was the groom, as black as an antarctic midnight, reposing uncomfortably in a celluloid collar that cut a transverse line through both cheeks, dressed in blue uniform with yellow epaulets upon his shoulders as large as sunflowers; here were the bats and owls, human earth burrowers, who were not wanted at the wedding supper, peeping slyly in the windows; here was Mrs. Parthenia Wiggins in silks and satins, and her lord in satins and silks; here was Joshua an octogenarian in regimentals, looking like a revolutionary drum major in masquerade, greeting the happy hostess with the exclamation:--"Pend pon it, your ladyship, I smelt dat barbeku clean clar to my house fore it was kilt," pausing now and then in his circuit around the supper table, to cut "de pigon whing;" here was old Hannah, in hoops and frills, "er following Joshua, frustated lak, kase some gal or udder mout run erway wid him unbeknownist to her;" here was old Ned "er settin in der chimney corner all by his lone lorn sef;" and then here was a skeleton at the feast, a spectre at the banquet, who greeted neither host, groom or bride----a living knight of the "White Camelia." Then there was a pause; then there was a proclamation by the host: "All hands eround fur de fust kertillien," and there was a voluntary shuffling of slippered, sandalled and booted feet. Then the music struck up and all went merry as a marriage bell. Castanets and cymbals, cornets and trombones, distributed huge chunks of melody, chopped off the "Star Spangled Banner," "Rally around the flag boys," "The Girl I left behind me," and "Brudder Ephrum got de c.o.o.n and gone on."
As the dance went on and on in the great hall the Kuklux slipped out of the shadows and into the parlor and concealed himself behind the embowered altar. Ned, at his suggestion, stole into the dining room, and taking the cover off of the basted pig, brought it out and gave it to the hideous creature, and still the dance went on. With uplifted hand Mr. Wiggins cried "Tention ladies und gemman"s. All you who"s inwited to the weddin follow me to the parlor," and the band struck up "Johnny get your gun." "Come parson, you sha.s.say in fust," and the parson struck out in an Irish reel, and the crowd followed like flotsam upon a current of water, tossing here and there, up and down, automatically, to the music.
"Now breddin und sistern," exclaimed the parson in a nasal sing-song, "range erlong side de haltar whilst I s.p.a.ciate upon dis weddin. Now den, fustly und foremustly, who gin dis bride away?"
"I does" replied Mr. Wiggins, pompously stepping to the front.
"Well, den, I"ll persede wid de sallymony. Fustly und foremostly, I"m agwine in my sebenty seben year, please G.o.d I lives to see de harvest moon, und I has been a exhauster, und locus preacher, und surkus rider, und slidin elder fust und last, und I"ve jined black ones und yallow ones und yallow ones und black ones, und now I"m agwine ter jine a white und black one togedder in de yoke of bondage, und in the bonds of purgertory, ef I haint upset fore I gits froo by de kommisserys ob de debbil."
"Land sakes alive!" e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed Joshua, as he brought his hollow jaws together with a resounding crash, "Don"t talk about de kommissery, parson; I"m hungry rite now."
"Now den, ef der is any pusson or debbil, here or here erbout, who is agwine to nullify dis weddin, I commands dem ter hold dere peace foreber mo."
Instantly a hooded figure of gigantic stature, clad in a gown of dragons" tongues, with small red lanterns burning in the socket of his eyes, arose behind the parson. The audience, first paralyzed with fear, now gave shriek after shriek which filled the house, as he gave an unearthly yell and with the basted pig cudgelled the black parson over the head as he leaped with a frantic cry into the bosom of the spectacled bride, and then through gla.s.s and shutter out of the window.
"Kuklux! Kuklux!" shrieked the terrified negroes, as in desperation they fled out of the house.
Joshua, in his frantic efforts to escape, ran his head against a heated stove and red hot coals of fire were scattered over rug, carpet and floor. As the last society lady somersaulted out of the window, great tongues of fire were lapping up frieze and cornice, and facade, and the cresent and star disappeared in a ghastly cincture of fire.
As Jake the Kuklux was pa.s.sing near the cabin of Joshua the next morning, on his way to the dark recesses of the swamp, he heard groans and incoherent exclamations that caused him to knock at the door and ask what was the matter. No answer came, but the groans were louder and more frequent. He opened the door and entered. Joshua was lying on the bed swathed in red flannel and Hannah, with a bandanna tied around her head, was tossing to and fro in an old rickety chair, holding her jaw in both hands.
"h.e.l.lo!" exclaimed the Kuklux, "What ails you folkses."
"Who dat a woicing dat lamentashun?" cried Joshua. "Go lang away wid yu white man, I aint agwine to be pestered," he continued.
"Hi there Aunt Hannah, what ails you?"
"Oh my Lord!" exclaimed Hannah, amid her groans. "Go lang way frum heer I haint agwine to put mysef on ekality wid no low down white trash lak you is." And Hannah kept sea-sawing in the rickety chair. Jake took a slouching stride toward the fire-place and making the letter V with his fingers spat in the fire and accidentally overturned a stew pan in which two or three small catfish were cooking.
"Fo my King! white man," exclaimed Hannah wrathfully, "What hes yu gon und dun now? I wishes yu would stay outen dis house. Now whar is Joshaway agwine to git his supper er me udder?"
This lamentation caused Joshua to unswathe the bandage about his eyes and he groaned louder and longer. "Dem was de onliest mouffel ob wittles in dis house, und now me und Hannah hes got ter suck de fingers twell de good Lord send us mo," he exclaimed mournfully.
"You lay dar spectin de Lord to send you mo, und you will be stark naked as a picked ginny hen," said Hannah.
Jake squinted his right eye as he drawled out:
"You knows Aunt Hannah dat de Lord does feed his lambs, don"t you."
"How c.u.m Joshaway enny of his lambs? Mouter say he is de debbils old billy gote," answered Hannah savagely.
"Kase I is one of his lambs," said Joshua. "How c.u.ms I goes to Filadelfy meeting-house ebery fourth Sunday, und how c.u.ms I courages de moners, und how c.u.ms I goes to de baptizin und totes de pa.s.sons gown? Tell me dat."
"Ugh! Ugh!" grunted Hannah; "I nebber seed de lams cutting up sich shines in a grate house lak yu dun las nite; yu went to de weddin, didn"t yu Joshaway? Und yu seed de kommissery ob de debbil; did yu see de Lord"s lambs dare? und yu set yo mouf for de barbeku, didn"t yu, und yu seed a harrykane too, didn"t yu?"
"Oh, yu go erlong way frum here," said Joshua, "I natally spises dese heer biggity n.i.g.g.e.rs dat is tarnally b.u.t.ting up agen de good Lord"s jedgements. You is fell frum grace, dat"s what yu done," replied Joshua deprecatingly.
"Is?" e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed Hannah. "Und yu fell frum something last nite. What was dat?"
"Now dat dere tantalizing n.i.g.g.e.r thinks I fell outen de window, but I clumb down de jice, dat is what I dun," angrily replied the old negro.
"When you seed de bride und de pa.s.son und de tother lams lak yu, Joshaway? tell me dat!" continued old Hannah provokingly.
"Nuff sed Hannah, yu dun und sot my po hed er akin wusser. You is de debbils own billy gote not me."
Reaching down into his greasy haversack the Kuklux brought out a great chunk of barbecue, and flourished it around old Joshua"s head like a musician"s baton.
"Dar now Hannah, what I tole yu, you sees whar my fafe is, don"t yu?"
said Joshua smiling. "Don"t de Scriptur sez how dat ef yu hes fafe, ef yu hes fafe," he repeated with emphasis, "you can tote away mountains, tell me dat?"
"It mout," answered Hannah quizzically, "und den agin it mout"nt. Do hit say anyfing erbout barbyku?" continued Hannah, "Tell me dat."
"Oh, go long, n.i.g.g.e.r," tartly answered Joshua; "I haint ergwine ter argify de question no mo wid a debilish n.i.g.g.e.r dat actally mistrusts de bible; yu is dun und sot in yo ways, und all Filadelfy church aint ergwine ter save yu, nudder."
"Not ef it is ergwine ter preach dat dar kind ob fafe. I wudn"t put no pendence in de slidin elder ef he was to say pine plank dat dat dar barbyku is in de bible."
"Don"t de scriptur say how dat a pa.s.sel ob horgs broke er loose outen de gap und run down er hill und choked up de sea? Tell me dat? Und what does yu make barbeku outen? Catfishes I spose!" asked Joshua contemptuously.
Hannah turned her back upon the old negro with the observation, "You is er black satan kotin de scriptur."
And all the time the musician"s baton was marking curves around old Joshua"s head, and Joshua"s hollow eyes, as if under the spell of a mesmerist, were moving mechanically right and left, left and right, while his great mouth was yawning like a cavern in a red marl pit.
"Boss," he exclaimed, "ef yu eber specks tu giv me ary mouful ob dat ar barbyku, fur de Lawd"s sake drap hit rite inter dis heer mouf," and he brought his old jaws together with a resounding crash, like an alligator biting at a leaping frog.
The ku-klux, without further teasing, gave the big chunk of meat to Joshua, who devoured it like a starved dog.
"Haint yu ergwine ter give me nun?" asked Hannah.
Joshua slowly replied between bites,
"Yu is got er gripin misery now, Hanner, und ef yu wuz ter your dis peppery stuff und tuck wid a gripin pain, I"d neber hear de eend ob it.
De nex time I"m ergwine ter give yu a grate big hunk, perwidin yu haint got no gripin misery ur nuffin," he continued as he gnawed the last piece of gristle from the bone.
"Boss," he observed, as he wiped his capacious mouth, "ef I hadn"t bin ticed erway by dat n.i.g.g.e.r sea-sawin ober dar, I wudn"t er bin in dis heer fixment. De women fokeses fotched de debil in dis heer wurld, und bress de Lawd when dey is ceasded dey is ergwine ter take him erlong wid dem. Does yer see how slak-sided I"se got? Look at dese ole holler eyes; yu kin jamby play marbles in dem. I"m ergwine rite strate back ter ole ma.r.s.er, lak dat progigle man in de scriptur, und I"m ergwine ter tell him he mout hab my freedom. I"d ruther hab de tarrifyin fever dan be a franksized woter. I wishes ole Laflin had er died fo" he wuz born, upsottin de n.i.g.g.e.rs, und dey ergwine erbout lak ragged ruffins, wid nuffin ter do but beatin drums und wotin yaller tickets. Dar aint narry grane o" rest nite nor day. Peers lak Hanner she gits sick de wery wustest time in de wurld, und when she aint ailin she"s tarnally moufin erbout no meal in de gum und no catfish es in de stew-pan. De Lawd knows dis ole stractified n.i.g.g.e.r hes sucked misery long ernuff. I haint neber node ole ma.r.s.er ter turn his back on n.o.body, und es fur Miss Alice, her purty white hans is wide open all de time, und she do say "Uncle Joshaway" de hebenliest I eber seed."
With these heartfelt expressions the old negro maintained a dead silence, and Hannah, like the Temanite of old, essayed to answer,
"Yu needn"t blame it all on me, dat yu needn"t. Enybody er seein yu er wourin up dat grate big hunk o" meat mout hab node yu wuz er horgish n.i.g.g.e.r, und hit maks no diffunce who parishes so yo stumick is full. Er lyin dar now er pickin yo ole snags und er hikkerpen es full es er dorg tick, und me er settin here er fairly rackin wid mizry."
"Hush Hannah," interrupted Joshua, "nuff is nuff, ef yu had er wourd dat barbyku und tuck defly sick, dar wudn"t been no sleep in dis house dis nite. "Twant kase I hankered fo dat leetle grain ob fresh meat dat I didn"t wide wid yu, twas kase I knowd it was gwine gin yo stummick."
"Bress G.o.d," answered Hannah, "you"s er powerful doctor, er puttin yo mouf on sick folkses dat is peert und harty," and Hannah began sea-sawing again.