Our old friends, taking up their hats and canes, returned their grateful thanks to the honorable commission, whose judicial fairness was so praise-worthy; and turned their faces homeward; the Governor exclaiming through his clenched teeth, "The infamous, villainous Englishman!"
"Why, bless my soul, Governor," exclaimed the Colonel in a startled tone, "What an opportune moment to have carried out the wishes of our meeting!"
"What meeting do you refer to sir?" asked the Governor in surprise.
"Why, my dear sir, had you forgotten that we were deputized to visit the authorities in Washington at the meeting presided over by Judge Bonham?"
"Well, well, well!" e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed the Governor, "I verily believe, sir, if peace is not speedily restored to the country that I will become a driveling idiot."
The Colonel adroitly changed the subject by observing, "It has occurred to me that if the practical operation of the reconstruction acts was directly in the control of the authorities in Washington, we should see that they are our friends; I am sure that the sentiment of the Northern people is in favor of the restoration of the South, and would counteract the vicious primary mischief resulting from a criminal abuse of power--I mean that power that is centralized in the Southern States."
"I am looking for conservative measures myself from the wise men who are in charge of the government," replied the Governor. "The infernal spoils system in the South, if not checkmated, will destroy the country. This same spoils principle has been the cause of more wretchedness and guilt, individual and national, than any other in the history of human suffering. It is the incentive alike to the burglar who breaks and enters your house at night and the highwayman who waylays your path and takes your life; that, rising from individuals to mult.i.tudes, it is the impelling motive to all the plunderings and desolations of military conquests; it forces the gates of cities; plunders temples of religion; the great despoiler of private rights and national independence. It was the spoils system that united the barbarians of the North and finally overthrew the vast fabric of Roman policy law and civilization; and it is this principle, worse than war, that has shaken to their foundation our free and happy inst.i.tutions.
Perhaps we shall meet at the cemetery to-morrow, if there are no English spies around," suggested the Governor.
"Yes, yes; and adieu until then," replied the Colonel, as they alighted from the cars.
[Ill.u.s.tration: "Dare goes joshaway, now, wid Ole Glory strowed er roun"
him, steppin lak a rare-hoss over de tater ridges."]
CHAPTER VII.
A POLITICIAN OF THE NEW SCHOOL.
Uncle Joshua was the color guard in a volunteer company of negroes, whose muster roll, like a thermometer, ran up into the nineties. As he shook out the folds of the scarlet-veined banner of the free one morning in his cabin, he observed to his old wife, "Hit peers lak dat dare wus ernudder wun o" dem possels, ef my membrunce sarves me rite, dat toted de flag fur Ginrul Farryo when he wus er heppin disserway und datterway froo de dessart; but I moest furgit dat gemman"s name. Twant Absurdam, I"m moest sho, und hit twant Jack-in-de-bed, nudder. Duz yu reckermember dat possel, Hanner? Yu und de locus preacher is erquainted wid all dem aintshunts."
"Umph!" grunted Hanna, "yu"s gwine fur back fur sumbody to tote de flag.
Ef yu hez gin out why don"t you fling hit over to Efrum? Ur is yu aiming ter immertate dat aintshunt?"
"Grate Jarryko!" exclaimed Joshua, irritated by such a question. "Duz yu see dat fodder foot, und duz yu see dat shuck foot? Well, den, when de leftenant sez "hep, hep, hep, hep, hep--fodder foot, shuck foot!" I"m ergwine ter fling dem footsies out disserway--see? Und I"m ergwine ter tote ole glory fo und aft, jess so, twell I gits ter be de ginrul, und den I"m ergwine ter fling dem identikle footses in de saddle, disserway, und uprare de rone on his hine shanks, jess lak dat."
"Umph!" grunted ole Hannah, "To be sho yu"s jess rivved out o" de babboon show! Yu"s er sho nuff limber Jack--jest ez suple ez a yurling gote, ebery bit und grane!"
"Now, den," continued Joshua, without heeding the ridiculous interruption, "I wuz studdin up dat possel, when you flung yo mouf inter de argyment."
"Wuz dat gemman a Mefodis ur Mishunary?" inquired Hannah, provokingly.
"Grate Jarryko! How"s I ergwine to know dis fur back? Kin I skiver er humans clean clar ercross de dissart, und retch back ter de eend o" de yeth, wid dese wun-eyed specks? Ef he hilt on to grace, he wur a shoutin Mefodis; und ef he run wid Proverdense, he wur a Mishunary; und ef he hilt on ter sumfin wusser, he wur a harrytick. Dat"s ez fur ez I"m gwine, doubt I node fur sartin. I"m moest sho, do, he wur a Mishunary, kase he didn"t drap back when he c.u.m in contack wid de water."
"Grate king!" snapped Hannah, as she kindled into a pa.s.sion. "Wuz yu dare? Yu talks lak dare warnt no Mefodis mixed up wid dem harryticks; gwine on wid yer warter in de bilin dissart! Better git de Zion bushup to larn yu de scriptur."
"Oh, my sole!" groaned Joshua. "Ef hit warnt fer de Mishunarys in dis Soufland, dare mout be a wusser war dan ole Jeff Davis de secesh"s. I"m ergwine ter ax yer wun pint mo, und den me und Ole Glory is ergwine ter hit de grit fur de conwenshun. Which wun o" dem slidin elders o" yourn hilt a confurence in dat dissart whey dare warnt no warter, und no chickens nudder, und whay de po parished up Mishunary hed to furrige er roun fer dare dinner? Now den!"
There were shops and bazaars scattered here and there about the public streets of the shire town within the recesses of which sat colored women selling their merchandise; now and then accentuating some pa.s.sing pageant by the clapping of hands and other noisy demonstrations. There were disorderly, ruffianly negroes, in greasy uniforms, neither brigaded or disciplined, patrolling the country, discharging their muskets at random; and about the premises of Colonel Seymour there was a squad, more or less menacing, marching and counter-marching in the carriage way near the mansion, and the old man in his desperation cried out "Oh that I could gird the sword upon my thigh, like the man Barak, and could smite these devils to the earth."
"Mars Jon," interrupted Clarissa, "yer mout as well let dese devilis n.i.g.g.e.rs lone; de Lord is agwine to slam dem to de yearth fore dey knows it; he is agwine to vour dem up lak hoppergra.s.ses; day a ransakin all ober creashun fur franksized n.i.g.g.e.rs to wote de yaller ticket in de convenshun; mout as well hab so many billy goats a wotin fur ole Abrum Laffin, de meanest, low downest scalyhorg in de wurrel. Yander goes ole Joshaway now, wid ole glory strode er roun him, steppin lak a rare-hoss ober de tater ridges agwine to de town." And she pointed to a group of four crossing the field from Joshua"s cabin, marching under the stars and stripes, that swung lifelessly over old Joshua"s right shoulder. We had just as well go with Joshua and witness the proceedings. The first observation the old negro made as he came up was this, "How much is de boss agwine to gib fur wotin fur him to go to de legislatur?"
"Agwine to giv yer, yer axes," replied a partisan of Laflin. "Yer dun und got freedom, haint yer? yer dun und jined de milintary c.u.mpny, haint yer? Yer is de most selfishes n.i.g.g.e.r dat I ebber seed. Is yer aimin to git de whole kommisary flung in? What mo dos yer speck?" continued the black partisan. Freedom haint nebber made de pot bile at my house nary time, und it haint nebber fotched no sweetenin dar, und it haint put no sperrets in de jimmyjon, und it haint nebber sot out no taters nudder, und wid all dis l.u.s.tration in de land, it haint agwine too, nudder. Jess as well be a naked snow-bird wid nary whing as wun ob dese franksized n.i.g.g.e.rs. Too much freedom in de lan now, und not nuff horgs and catfishes. I"se been a wotin und a wotin eber since de belyun fell--a trapsing to de town bakkards und furruds, und I haint nebber got nuffin but freedom yit--not eben de rappins ob my little finger; und I has been hep, hep, hep, hep, heppin in de miluntary c.u.mpny ober tater ridges und fru de brier patches und de skeeters, und de cap"in haint nebber said nary time, Joshaway, I"m agwine to put yaller upperlips on yer jacket, und I"m agwine ter gib yer a sord wid a wheel. Nary time hab de boss axed me how much meal I had in de gum, ur how much taters I hab in de hill; und I haint nebber had but wun little speck ob munny sense freedom c.u.m in de lan, und den it wus Federick munny. Ef I dont git nuffin bettern dat I has got, und dat mity quick, dis po n.i.g.g.e.r is agwine to drap outer de ranks into de sametary. Dis here war has turned loose a pa.s.sel ob n.i.g.g.e.rs all ober de kentry wid dere freedum und muskets, und bress Gord dere aint nary turkle in de swamp, nur catfish nudder, yu mout say; und eben de sparrers when dey sees a n.i.g.g.e.r a c.u.mmin shakes his tail, und sais "ugh, ugh; I"m agwine erway frum here." Ole mars Jon had rudder de hoppergra.s.ses wud kivver de hole lan, und de tarypin bugs too. Eber time de boss gits lected he ups and sezs, sez he, "Josh, de nex time I runs I"m agwine to make yer er magistreet, so yer kin sot on white fokses, und bress de Lord, dat time haint nebber c.u.m yit.""
"Shut dat big mouf ob yourn," sharply commanded Laflin"s const.i.tuent.
"I haint agwine to do dat, nudder," saucily replied the old negro. "Ef de boss don"t gib me er dram, ur sumfing when I gits to town, I"m agwine to wote fur tuther man. De ole ooman tole me to ax de boss fur a kaliker kote; sed how dat she wus jam nigh as ragged as a skeer-crow.
Hanner is a gitten monstrus tired ob freedom, und dese franksized n.i.g.g.e.rs--yer heers my racket. Aye! aye," he exclaimed patriotically, "dars ole glory now a shinin froo de trees," and with that the bandy shanked negro cut a pigeon wing in the middle of the road; and sure enough, the banner of the free, displaying its broad stripes and bright stars was nodding its welcome to its African heroes, who had worked out their emanc.i.p.ation with ploughshares and scythe blades.
"I knows," the negro continued in rapture, "when I sees dat butifullest flag er wavin und see-sawin dat dere is bound to be a stummic full ob good whittles sumwheres, but I"s monstrous skeert hits agwine to gib out fore hit gits to me." And just now the faintest tintinnabulation of an asthmatic bra.s.s band broke upon old Joshua"s ear like the sound of a dinner horn, on a long, dry summer day. Joshua braced up for the home stretch and began to take long slouchy strides, as if he were on the old parade ground again. Calling out to his comrades "Forrud, march to de town; hep, hep, hep, hep, hep, eyes to de front, charge, bagonets!" As he approached the rallying ground of the Laflin hosts, a recruiting agent from Laflin"s opponent, took him by the arm and said patronizingly, "Let me put a bug in your ear, ole man."
Joshua jerked away with the startled cry "No sar, no sar, don"t do dat white man, kase I kaint heer good no how, und ef yer puts dat ar bug in my yeer, how in de name ob Gord is I ebber agwine to git him outen dere eny more, and hit mout be a horned bug ur a stingin bug. I"ll fite eny man dat puts a bug in my yeer, dat I will; stan back, white man; dont c.u.m nigh me wid nun ob dem creeturs."
"You don"t understand me, my friend" replied the scalawag, "our side are home folks, bred and born right here, and we know what we can do for our colored friends when we get to the legislature, and we are going to buy plantations for our men, and we are going to make our old friends like you sheriffs."
"Dats a mity heep ob promisin, white man," replied the negro suspiciously, "How menny shurrufs is yer agwine to hab in dis county?"
"Forty seven," replied the Scalawag.
"How menny jail houses is yer agwine to hab," asked the negro.
"We are going to do away with the jails," said he.
"Is?" exclaimed Joshua in surprise. "Ugh, Ugh! forty-leven shurrufs in dis county und all clecting taxes at wun time, Grate Jarryko, dar wont be nary tater, nur nary horg, nur nary ole settin hin--nur nary n.i.g.g.e.r in sebenteen fousan miles ob dis place. Saks a live, white man, dos yer aim to ma.s.sercree fokes fo und aft? Whar wus yer when dey fit de war enny how?"
"Oh, I was at home raising breadstuffs for the poor," he answered.
"Raisin which fur de po, boss?" enquired Joshua.
"Breadstuffs," he replied.
"Und did de po git dey share?" asked Joshua.
"Yes, indeed," the scalawag answered.
"Und wus yer in de pennytenshun when yer raised dat truck?" further enquired Joshua.
"No, indeed," he said.
Joshua gazed comically into the face of the politician as he said; "Lemme look at yu rite good wid boff eyes, wid dese ole specks on, disserway; dare. Haint I seed yu afore?"
"Perhaps so; I cant say" replied the scalawag furtively.
"Ugh! Ugh!" exclaimed Joshua.
"Haint I seed yu at Zion"s meeting house wun time, at de stracted meetin? Dat time sister Cloe drapped back into er concushun und yu wuz de yarb doctor dat fotched her too, und yu tuck yo pay outen de munny dat wuz gwine to de orfins?"
"No, no, you are thinking of some one else I am sure."