"You"re not my business? I"m confused about what"s my business and what isn"t?"
"Got a knife, here, remember."
"I"m your friend. Your girlfriend. I"m not your business."
"My girlfriend?" girlfriend?"
"Whatever you want to call it. May I please eat these crusts, or do you want them for some reason?"
"The things I love are my business."
"That"s just untrue. The things you love and the people you love are the things and people you love. Your business is you."
"Just like my business is me."
"Which I"ll handle, Rick."
"My, aren"t we a.s.sertive and confident and sure of ourselves all of a sudden."
"I don"t think this is the place for this. When you start using the plural tense, I sense spasm-potential."
"This ham is far too salty."
"You did take your gum out, right?"
"I"m losing you, Lenore. My ears were rumbling ominously at impending loss. That"s what that rumbling really was."
"Why do you perceive everything in terms of having and losing? Have you ever for about one second thought of how that makes me feel? You haven"t "lost me," whatever on G.o.d"s green earth that means. I"ll handle the people who might happen to be temporarily infatuated with me on my own, is all."
"People?"
"Sweet shrieking mother of G.o.d! Listen to yourself! You"re not even insanely jealous, you"re just ... pathetically pathetically jealous." jealous."
"So now I"m pathetic."
"No more. I"m going to sleep. May I please put my ginger ale on your tray?"
"You may not go to sleep, Lenore."
"At least have the decency to give me some gum, to have, for the landing, which I might tell you I"m not looking forward to one bit."
"Here."
"You are too my business."
"Fnoof. "
"Christ."
EXCERPT FROM DUTY LOG OF DR. DANIEL JOY, a.s.sISTANT DIRECTOR FOR EMERGENCY SERVICES, CHICAGO DEPARTMENT OF MENTAL HEALTH, CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, FRIDAY, 3 SEPTEMBER 1990.
10:40 a.m. Arrive Lake Lady Medical Center, Chicago.
10:42 Arrive Floor 5. ID check complete. Station log verifies a.s.signment to observe patient "JB, " " Room 573, admitted p.m. of Thursday, 26 August. Room 573, admitted p.m. of Thursday, 26 August.
10:45 Arrive Room 573. ID check complete. Occupants of 573 as of 10:45: Joy; patient "JB"; Dr. Robert Golden, Supervisor Emotional/Psychological Services, Lake Lady Center; Dr. Daniel Nelm, Staff Physician, /P S, S, L.L.C. Observe patient "JB." Patient male, Caucasian, fair, dark hair, height appr. 5" 9", weight appr. 100 lbs. Prominent features: eyes. Exceptionally large, black. Condition skin around eyes indicates lack of/difficulties connected with sleep. Patient conscious but sedated. Medication indicated Golden to be 110 Thor. Pcm #7 drip ver. saline x 2 hrs.; increased to 220 Thor. Pcm #7 post shift #3 (11 p.m.-7 a.m.). L.L.C. Observe patient "JB." Patient male, Caucasian, fair, dark hair, height appr. 5" 9", weight appr. 100 lbs. Prominent features: eyes. Exceptionally large, black. Condition skin around eyes indicates lack of/difficulties connected with sleep. Patient conscious but sedated. Medication indicated Golden to be 110 Thor. Pcm #7 drip ver. saline x 2 hrs.; increased to 220 Thor. Pcm #7 post shift #3 (11 p.m.-7 a.m.).
Observe filming apparatus on tripod at foot of patient"s bed. Observe director"s chair. Observe sungla.s.ses worn by Drs. Golden, Nelm. N explains patient delusion e.g. admittance, believes he is contestant on television "quiz-" or "game-show, " refuses/unable to give correct name, refers to himself only as "The Contestant, " variously under heavy post-#3 sedation "He Who Smites From Afar" (per report Golden, Nelm). Patient "JB" refuses to speak unless believes being filmed, recorded; refuses to acknowledge questions posed by any but those representing selves as "game-show" personnel (per G, N). Food refused 27 August, thereafter; Drip Cla.s.s 7 initiated 27 August, thereafter.Malnutrition advanced but not sufficient for exhaustive explanation condition (Golden, concurrence Joy).Nelm explains camera is Motorola home-movie outfit owned by Mrs. Nelm. Patient appears to ignore. Patient stares into camera. Am handed by Nelm pair sungla.s.ses, director"s bullhorn. Am instructed to address patient as "Contestant, Baby. " Sit in director"s chair. (Here see E/ E/ P S L.L.C. reports 8-28, 8-29, 8-30, 8-31, tag 573, L.L.M.C.) Am introduced as "Mr. Barris of Screen Gems, nc. Patient response noticeable. Difficulty observing patient from behind sungla.s.ses judged acceptable, offset by desirability patient response. Delusion observed. Delusion constant only with respect to television. Patient appears confused as to whether appearing on game show or being interviewed for/about appearance game show. Nelm suggestion (positive impression Nelm, unorthodox vs. highly competent, formally noted 9-3) Mr. "Barris" ask "prospective contestant" for previous "game-show experience. " Patient"s voice exceptionally raw, scratchy; intelligibility inconstant. Hoa.r.s.eness see admission report JB-L.L.M.C. 8-26, Nelm report 8-27 tag 573. Patient responds request "experience" (from tape, N): P S L.L.C. reports 8-28, 8-29, 8-30, 8-31, tag 573, L.L.M.C.) Am introduced as "Mr. Barris of Screen Gems, nc. Patient response noticeable. Difficulty observing patient from behind sungla.s.ses judged acceptable, offset by desirability patient response. Delusion observed. Delusion constant only with respect to television. Patient appears confused as to whether appearing on game show or being interviewed for/about appearance game show. Nelm suggestion (positive impression Nelm, unorthodox vs. highly competent, formally noted 9-3) Mr. "Barris" ask "prospective contestant" for previous "game-show experience. " Patient"s voice exceptionally raw, scratchy; intelligibility inconstant. Hoa.r.s.eness see admission report JB-L.L.M.C. 8-26, Nelm report 8-27 tag 573. Patient responds request "experience" (from tape, N):"The experience I have had was onthe ... (unintelligible) ... (unintelligible) ... In the Desert? And I was ... where we were I was contestant. I am the contestant. The host opened the showcase and from where / was the audience screamed. It was the most desirable prize imaginable. The prize impossible to conceive of a more desirable prize. The totally desirable prize. And the audience had to be restrained with electrified wire mesh. And where In the Desert? And I was ... where we were I was contestant. I am the contestant. The host opened the showcase and from where / was the audience screamed. It was the most desirable prize imaginable. The prize impossible to conceive of a more desirable prize. The totally desirable prize. And the audience had to be restrained with electrified wire mesh. And where / / was I was not restrained. And ... was I was not restrained. And ... " (unintelligible). " (unintelligible). "And the host in the robe set the clock and shots of Dad and ..." "And the host in the robe set the clock and shots of Dad and ..." " " (unintelligible) (unintelligible) "and wires affixed. Host in robe says..." (here patient adopts different voice, possibly one of game-show quizmaster "and wires affixed. Host in robe says..." (here patient adopts different voice, possibly one of game-show quizmaster [N], [N], pain at vocal effort obvious): pain at vocal effort obvious): " "And the contestant will of course receive in which he receives the most widely desirable prize imaginable, on the condition that he, here we are, not want it, for the next 60 seconds." " "And the contestant will of course receive in which he receives the most widely desirable prize imaginable, on the condition that he, here we are, not want it, for the next 60 seconds.""Contestant, where I was, did not receive prize. Shouts from audience: "Don"t think about it. " "Renounce all desire." Shouts from audience behind electrified wire mesh. To receive totally desirable prize by not desiring prize I did not receive prize. Failure occurred at 50 seconds. Per the rules of the game received the electric shocks, on the tip? Every 2 seconds? For the 50? And the audience completely howled, threw water from behind the wire mesh, were thrown back ..."Patient emits screams, rhythm appr. every 2 seconds, over 20 seconds, throat condition prohibits excessive noise or potential for harm (G, N). Dosage increased Nelm x 1.5; patient now conscious but heavily sedated. Eyes roll white.Here c. f. formal report Joy CDMH 9-3-90 tag L.L.M.C. #573: ident.i.ty patient sought via standard police, media procedure. Initials J.B., relative (?) L.B., established by jewelry worn date admittance. Nelm emphasis mention "Dad." Reference to Desert, together with accent, establishes experience (residence?) in Ohio post-1972. Directive Nelm; proceed through all missing persons reports male Caucasion-Illinois, Ohio-past 30 days. Observation a.s.signment Nelm. Observation continued through 9-10 authorized (see Joy, 9-3 tag 573 L.L.M.C.). Follow-up a.s.signment Nelm authorized. Use of equipment authorized through 9-10. For following refer Joy formal 9-3 tag 573 L.L.M.C.Overrall impressions none. Parallel/Precedent impression none.
11:30 Leave Lake Lady Medical Center, Chicago. dj/hvs
"It sure is weird having it be Monday and no telephones. You were awesome with Walinda, Rick. I never would have believed it."
"My ears still hurt like h.e.l.l. It was as if the takeoff merely softened my ears up for the landing. It was beyond belief, Lenore."
"I"m so sorry. What can I do?"
"Oh, Route Route 9. Here it is. We"re on Route 9. G.o.d, the memories I have of Route 9. Good Lord, the Coolidge Bridge." 9. Here it is. We"re on Route 9. G.o.d, the memories I have of Route 9. Good Lord, the Coolidge Bridge."
"Haven"t you ever been back here, for reunions or stuff like that?"
"You must be joking."
"The plane isn"t simply going to idle and wait for us at Bradley Field, Lenore, is it?"
"No way. That"s Stonecipheco"s one jet."
"How thrifty."
"I think it took off again almost right away. I think it had to get back home."
"Places to go and people to see."
"I"m not even sure. You hustled us into this limo in like four seconds."
"The law of the East Coast. You see available transportation, you grab it immediately."
"The plane"s supposed to be back for us by lunchtime tomorrow ... eleven-thirty."
"Plenty of time to talk to LaVache."
"Which is obviously going to be a waste of time, in terms of Dad, I predict. There"s no way Lenore"s talking to LaVache if she hasn"t talked to me. LaVache and Lenore hate each other. And he doesn"t even have a phone. And he and John hate each other, too. Or rather at least he hates John."
"So much hating."
"Well, it"s just family hating. It"s not like real hating."
"My G.o.d. The Aqua Vitae restaurant. I thought that had been tom down. I haven"t thought of the Aqua Vitae in years. Good G.o.d. We used to pile in the car and go on down to the Aqua Vitae for monstrously huge hamburg pizzas." pizzas."
"Hamburger."
"Ah, regional linguistic clash. I love it. It all comes flooding back."
"I really do have to pee, though."
"Should we pull over? We can pull in really quick at this mall, here."
"G.o.d, no, not a mall. We"re nearly there. We"re nearly here. I think perhaps it"s just excitement. Amherst is rife with restroom facilities, anyway. At least it used to be. I knew them all."
"Hang in there, soldier."
"At least you can watch the putative future of Stonecipheco in academic action. You can issue a full report to your father, back at his lair."
"I"m not going to tell Dad anything except what I want to tell him. Dad told me like ninety lies in his office. I"m beginning to think Dad is maybe a compulsive liar. He lies pathologically, even sort of pathetically, when it comes to Miss Malig. And he had this guy who works for him, who I used to go to school with, spying on us. And he didn"t even tell him to come out until it was obvious that I"d seen his shoes under the window curtain."
"Who is this person you went to school with? Have I been told about him before?"
"Look, an absolute moratorium on spasms is declared, here, Rick, OK? I"m just not in the mood at all."
"And you should know I"m not my father"s messenger, or spy."
"Relax. You"re among friends. You"re with the one person who places your interests above his own. Remember that."
"Oh Rick."
"I love you, Lenore."
"But I have to admit I am sort of anxious to see what LaVache is like at school. He"s really smarter than John, I think. In terms of pure smarts, he"s the one person in the family who"s smarter than John. He never had to work a bit at Shaker School, I know. And at home in the summer he"s just a waste-product. He just sits around all day in the east wing, getting flapped and watching soap operas, and stuff like "The Flintstones," and carving designs in his leg."
"And at night, every night, he just goes out drinking with his spooky buddies, in their cars where the back is higher off the ground than the front."
"Jacked-up."
"Jacked-up cars. And Dad never knows what he"s doing, because Dad"s hardly ever around, or when he is he"s like tiptoeing around ever so discreetly with Miss Malig. Dad thinks LaVache works. He thinks LaVache is another him."
"We"re almost there. This hill. We"re going to crest this hill, and we"ll be there."
"I"m sure he must work, now, in college. I know I sure did."
"And ... ahh, there it is. Good heavens."
"Your eyes are misting."
"Bet your a.s.s. I make no bones about it. I haven"t been back here in exactly twenty years. This is my alma mater."
"Well, of course it is, you silly."
"Alma mater."
"Shall we just proceed right to Stone, Lenore? That is where LaVache lives, correct?"
"Right."
"Driver, please take us directly to Stone Dormitory, Amherst College. You are, I"m afraid, on your own in terms of finding it. It"s one of the new ones, with which I"m not familiar, not having-"
"No problem, buddy."
"How nice. Good heavens. How truly eerie, seeing all this. The trees are just barely hinting at beginning to turn, see? You can see it in some more than in others. Look there, for instance."
"Pretty, all right."
"Have you ever been here?"
"I"ve been to Mount Holyoke. I went there once, when Clarice was there."
"Did you find it pretty?"