David struggled. "Don"t!" he exclaimed, panic automatically setting in. "Get off me!"
Jory froze, uncomprehending at first. "Oh, G.o.d. Tommy tackled you like I just did, didn"t he?" He stumbled away from David and landed on his a.s.s. "I am so sorry. I can"t tell you how sorry I am."
"Don"t." David scrambled to his feet, breathing heavily. His heart felt like it was going to race right out of his chest. He wrapped his arms around his middle as his stomach began to ache. "Never do that again, Jory. Not if you care about me even a little."
Jory stared up with a stricken look. "Never," he promised. "Honest. I won"t." He picked himself off the floor and reached for David. When David flinched back, he made a face as if he were kicking himself repeatedly. "I"m sorry," he repeated quietly.
They stood in silence for a long moment. Part of David ached to reach out and touch Jory, to rea.s.sure him that everything was okay. The man meant more to him than almost anything on earth. No, not exactly. No one and nothing else measured up. But to be brought down like Jory had done him ... so strong that it seemed like he couldn"t fight back ... David couldn"t handle it. He hugged himself tightly.
"David," Jory started. "How can I --"
"You can"t." David shifted from foot to foot. It tore him apart to say it, but he couldn"t stop himself. "Maybe you should go."
"Yeah." Jory raked a hand through his curls. "Maybe I should." He shook his head. "For good, or just for now?"
"Just for now." David managed to reach out and touch Jory. "I"ll be all right. I trust you. It"s just ... hard."
"Tell me how I can make it easier."
"Give me some distance." David felt himself getting too warm. "Maybe this is all too much too fast, Jory."
"David, don"t say that. Please."
"I"m not sure any more. I don"t get you. Things were so easy when we met. I should have known it wouldn"t last."
"It can last. It will. All you have to do is trust me."
David felt his lips twist with bitterness. "Yeah. That"s what Tommy said."
"I"m not like him. I never will be. David, you have to believe me."
"I know. It"s not in you. Just give me a few hours, okay?" David took a step back. Lifting his hand off Jory"s arm was an almost physical pain. He blinked hard. "I said I loved you. I meant it."
"Don"t quit on me. I need you. Do you know what I"ve been through, waiting for the right one?"
"Probably the same thing as me." David sighed. "You"ll meet me tonight? At the club?"
Jory stared. "You still want me to come?"
"I do. We"re still an "us," Jory. That hasn"t changed."
"But ...?"
"I want to be alone until then. Okay?"
David watched Jory swallow roughly, then nod. He ached to comfort the man, but he just couldn"t make himself do it.
Things would be okay soon. All he had to do was calm down. He"d be able to think then. Whatever was between him and Jory -- it had substance. It was real. Calm. He needed to breathe.
"I"ll let myself out," Jory was saying, voice low. "I"ll meet you tonight, at the club. Look for me inside. I"ll go early, so you don"t have to face that place all by yourself."
David half-laughed, surprising himself. "I"ll have eleven other guys with me."
"Yeah, but how many of them are in love with you?" Jory"s mouth lifted in a sad smile. He blew David a kiss. "I"ll be by your side tonight. And ..." He took in a deep breath. "No more secrets after tonight."
"So there are secrets."
"Some. None I wanted to keep, I swear. Meet me at Amour Magique, and I"ll come clean about everything." Jory met David"s eyes. "You"ll come find me?"
David nodded. He searched for words, but couldn"t find any. Jory looked like he wanted to touch David as badly as David wanted to be touched, but neither of them had the courage to cross the invisible barrier that suddenly lay between them."I"ll go," Jory said. "See you tonight. I"ll be wearing -- this." He gestured down at his rumpled T-shirt and jeans. "So you"ll recognize me."
David ran his hands over his own red T-shirt. "And I"ll be the one in red," he replied softly. "I"ll see you later, Jory. Go."
And Jory went. David listened to his footsteps, then the soft sound of the door opening and closing. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, breathing slowly in and out.
What had he just done? What if he"d driven away the one good thing to happen to him in, well, his whole life? He had Sweet Rose, he had his job, and he"d had Jory. What if the past tense became a permanent thing?
The phone rang. David was tempted to ignore it, but it kept on ringing. The answering machine didn"t kick in. He stood still, trying to calm the sudden fit of shakes racking his body. Hard to do with a phone jangling at him.
Finally, on the umpteenth ring, he crossed to the bedside table and picked up the receiver. "David here." At least his voice didn"t crack.
"David," a familiar voice said, gentle, as if it were petting him. "I sensed you might need a friend about now. Am I wrong?"
"Liam." David sat down on the edge of his bed. "How did you get my home number?"
"From Simon, of course. I am at his condo right now, preparing him for tonight."
Bizarre images flashed through David"s mind. He covered his mouth to smother a laugh. Craziness. It was fitting, though.
"Liam," he said, steadily. "Can you keep a secret?"
"It is one of the things I was born to do," Liam replied soothingly. "If you have a story to share, it will rest safe with me.
Locked in a box, with the key thrown away."
David winced. Slowly, he began to lie down on the bed. "Do you have an hour or two?"
"I have as long as you need, David."
For some reason, David trusted him. Enough to tell him the whole story, anyway.
"It"s like this," he began, wrapping the phone cord around his fist. "When you gave me the ticket to that Fest, I met someone there ..."
Chapter Nine
"Liam," David said, feeling incredibly tiny. He tried again, reaching out for the small man"s arm. "Liam, this place is unreal."
Liam was beaming with pride. "Amour Magique is amazing, is it not?"
"More than amazing. The size alone ..." David released Liam, albeit carefully, and turned in a slow circle. On the edge of the dance floor, there was no ceiling for four stories ... at the very least. He thought he saw it up there somewhere, but it was hard to tell with the curling tendrils of vapor almost like smoke -- or clouds.
He squinted. Was that the moon? "Liam!"
"Hush now, hush." Liam patted David"s back. "It is a bit much to take in all at once, I know. You have nothing to fear. That much I promise. Amour Magique is a benevolent sort of place."
"You say that almost like it"s alive." David shivered. "Is it?"
"In its way, perhaps." Liam held up a hand to stave off David"s alarmed questions. "There is much you need to learn, and much you will have to choose whether to accept as fact or fiction. I can tell you this: if you embrace Amour Magique, it will clasp you back with warm and open arms. If you believe for a moment that buildings have emotions, this one likes you. It can tell you have a respect for old things and that you like to take care of them."
David felt cold as he turned in another gradual revolution, taking in the vast dance floor of churning, undulating bodies, the rows of bars and balconies lining each level, and Bree, disappearing into the mosh pit. At least, he thought it was a mosh pit. He"d never actually seen one before, but it looked about right from the descriptions he"d heard. Bunches of men with piercings and tattoos and big heavy boots, all of them so unafraid.
"The building isn"t this big on the outside," he said. "It looked like a warehouse, sure, but nowhere near this size. And all these men -- there"s no way all of them could have fit. We"d be packed in like sardines, and there"s plenty of room to move. Even the Brothers could -- Liam! Where did they go?"
Liam shrugged slightly and smiled. "Here and there, David. Here and there. Each one has found something to amuse himself with inside the walls of Amour Magique. I chose to hold you back to ease you through the transition."
"Kind of you," David managed. He felt suddenly freezing in his red T-shirt. He stared up again, shaking his head. "It"s unreal, Liam. I don"t understand."
"I know," Liam soothed. "It is not easy. I could make it simpler for you. Would you like for me to smooth the way? A touch to the temples, like so."
He reached up and feathered his fingers just against the side of David"s head, almost but not quite touching the skin. "You would forget everything you have seen, and Amour Magique, while it would be disappointed, would whisk you away to the place where you need to go."
David shook his head, dumbfounded. "It can do that? It is alive, isn"t it?"
Liam looked at him with interest. "To my surprise, you do not seem quite so startled as I might have thought. Do you have more hidden depths, David? Things I should have seen?"
"Oh, there"s plenty of room in here for depths." David poked at his waistline.
Liam batted his hand away. "Stop that. Now, if you would be so kind as to answer my question?"
David laughed bitterly. "No, I"m not all that shocked. I work in antiques, Liam. I"m used to things "speaking" to me, if you know what I mean. I run my hands over something, say an old trunk, and I can feel the life in it. I know it"s seen a lot, and that it has a hundred stories to tell. All you have to do is get inside. If you"re allowed to."
"I see." Liam put his hand thoughtfully to his chin. "I am proud of you, David. The others? None of them have the nerve to face down Amour Magique like you yourself have done without a flinch. Once again you have been underestimated."
"That"s me. Quick to the point and slow out of the starting gate."
"Except for this self-esteem problem, I would say you were the ideal man," Liam scolded. "I would take you myself, if someone had not already laid claim to your heart."
David felt himself blush. "Yeah. Jory. Look, Liam, I"m really sorry about blubbering all over you on the phone this afternoon."
"Did I say I minded?" Liam chuckled, a sweet sound like rippling water. "It was most enlightening to learn of your relationship with this man. He sounds like your perfect match, David. You had, what is it? Chemistry? Yes, chemistry. An instant "click." The flint touched to a wick, and boom! Off goes the Roman candle." He gave David a sly wink. "Or perhaps other things."
"Geez, Liam, broadcast it to everyone," David grumbled, looking around. He froze. "Those guys on the dance floor ... are they doing what I think they"re doing?"
Liam peered. "A b.l.o.w. .j.o.b? Is that what you see?"
David coughed. "I was actually looking at those two really flexible men and what they were ... G.o.d, that looks like a page out of the Kama Sutra -- or a blue magazine."
His eyes lost focus for a second before he shook his head. "A b.l.o.w. .j.o.b? Where? Oh."
He considered the man on his knees for a second. "Seems kind of tame in comparison. And they just let this go on all night long? You know what, before you answer that, you haven"t answered any of my other questions. How is it possible to have all these men in a building bigger on the inside than it is on the outside? Where do they all come from? The vibes I"m getting ..."
"Hush, David. There"s time for everything, and everything will come to you in time." Liam gave him a gentle push. "You said this Jory would meet you here?"
"Yeah. He didn"t say where, though." David uncomfortably tugged at the hem of his T-shirt, hanging loose outside his jeans.
His c.o.c.k had given a twitch at the thought of Jory. Made him uneasy. He wasn"t even sure if he could handle meeting Jory, but he still wanted to get nasty with the man? What kind of sense did that make?
"I don"t know where to go," he prevaricated.
Liam wasn"t falling for any of that. "Ask a bartender," he said, giving David a push toward a nearby open pub. "I have the feeling that Jory is probably well known in Amour Magique."
"He said he hated it."
Liam pursed his lips. "I suspect that is why they would take notice of his entering," he said dryly. "Go on, then. I cannot hold your hand all night."
"Liam?"
"Hush, now, I said. If I could, I would walk beside you every step of the way. But time, David, it is fleeting. Each second slips away so quickly. I am needed elsewhere. So many elsewheres. You can take care of yourself."
"And my questions?"
"You will find the answers soon enough." Liam caressed David"s forearm. "Are you ready for them I wonder? You may have to face many unpleasant truths tonight, David. Including some about the man you love. Do you think yourself prepared?"
David flashed back on a memory of a dark alley. Fists, feet, pain. Then he thought of Jory. Gentle touches and kind words.
"I think I am," he said. "I can"t help being scared. But I don"t think Jory would ever hurt me on purpose. But I --" He grimaced. "I can"t see it happening, but I"m still scared of it. Isn"t that pathetic? I"m probably one of the biggest guys here."
"Tall and strong," Liam put in. "Your arms are solid with muscle after lifting heavy things all these years. You cut a fine figure, no matter how little you believe it."
David scoffed. "Then why am I so afraid of meeting Jory again?"
"Perhaps you are afraid of acceptance," Liam said after a moment of intense scrutiny that made David want to wiggle under his gaze. "No, let me finish. You have spent your entire life putting yourself down. Not smart enough or rich enough to go to college, not savvy enough to buy a fancy car."
He held up a hand to keep David silent. "You put yourself down for so many things. Too fat, when you are merely a big man and you are built along good, strong lines. That beast who used his fists on you. You are so used to being "imperfect" that you cannot accept a man who enjoys you merely for what you are."
Liam"s voice was stern, but his eyes kind. "It is time to let go of your safety net, David. I have purposes for all the Brothers tonight, but for you, it is to find freedom as well as love."
He raised up on tiptoe. "Another kiss," he whispered. "One to taste your sweetness, and to give you a small burst of courage."
"You can do that?" David murmured back, caught by the hypnotic gleam Liam gave off. He swayed a little. "What are you?"
"A man." Liam leaned in to touch his lips to David"s. Surprised into momentary stillness, David kept his mouth closed. Liam didn"t push any further, content to brush against him.