"Madam!" cried Mitya, jumping up at last, clasping his hands before her in helpless entreaty. "You will make me weep if you delay what you have so generously-"
"Oh, do weep, Dmitri Fyodorovitch, do weep! That"s a n.o.ble feeling... such a path lies open before you! Tears will ease your heart, and later on you will return rejoicing. You will hasten to me from Siberia on purpose to share your joy with me-"
"But allow me, too!" Mitya cried suddenly.
"For the last time I entreat you, tell me, can I have the sum you promised me to-day, if not, when may I come for it?"
"What sum, Dmitri Fyodorovitch?"
"The three thousand you promised me... that you so generously-"
"Three thousand? Roubles? Oh, no, I haven"t got three thousand," Madame Hohlakov announced with serene amazement. Mitya was stupefied.
"Why, you said just now you said... you said it was as good as in my hands-"
"Oh, no, you misunderstood me, Dmitri Fyodorovitch. In that case you misunderstood me. I was talking of the gold mines. It"s true I promised you more, infinitely more than three thousand, I remember it all now, but I was referring to the gold mines."
"But the money? The three thousand?" Mitya exclaimed, awkwardly.
"Oh, if you meant money, I haven"t any. I haven"t a penny, Dmitri Fyodorovitch. I"m quarrelling with my steward about it, and I"ve just borrowed five hundred roubles from Miusov, myself. No, no, I"ve no money. And, do you know, Dmitri Fyodorovitch, if I had, I wouldn"t give it to you. In the first place I never lend money. Lending money means losing friends. And I wouldn"t give it to you particularly. I wouldn"t give it you, because I like you and want to save you, for all you need is the gold mines, the gold mines, the gold mines!"
"Oh, the devil!" roared Mitya, and with all his might brought his fist down on the table.
"Aie! Aie!" cried Madame Hohlakov, alarmed, and she flew to the other end of the drawing-room.
Mitya spat on the ground, and strode rapidly out of the room, out of the house, into the street, into the darkness! He walked like one possessed, and beating himself on the breast, on the spot where he had struck himself two days previously, before Alyosha, the last time he saw him in the dark, on the road. What those blows upon his breast signified, on that spot, and what he meant by it- that was, for the time, a secret which was known to no one in the world, and had not been told even to Alyosha. But that secret meant for him more than disgrace; it meant ruin, suicide. So he had determined, if he did not get hold of the three thousand that would pay his debt to Katerina Ivanovna, and so remove from his breast, from that spot on his breast, the shame he carried upon it, that weighed on his conscience. All this will be fully explained to the reader later on, but now that his last hope had vanished, this man, so strong in appearance, burst out crying like a little child a few steps from the Hohlakovs" house. He walked on, and not knowing what he was doing, wiped away his tears with his fist. In this way he reached the square, and suddenly became aware that he had stumbled against something. He heard a piercing wail from an old woman whom he had almost knocked down.
"Good Lord, you"ve nearly killed me! Why don"t you look where you"re going, scapegrace?"
"Why, it"s you!" cried Mitya, recognising the old woman in the dark. It was the old servant who waited on Samsonov, whom Mitya had particularly noticed the day before.
"And who are you, my good sir?" said the old woman in quite a different voice. "I don"t know you in the dark."
"You live at Kuzma Kuzmitch"s. You"re the servant there?"
"Just so, sir, I was only running out to Prohoritch"s... But I don"t know you now."
"Tell me, my good woman, is Agrafena Alexandrovna there now?" said Mitya, beside himself with suspense. "I saw her to the house some time ago."
"She has been there, sir. She stayed a little while, and went off again."
"What? Went away?" cried Mitya. "When did she go?"
"Why, as soon as she came. She only stayed a minute. She only told Kuzma Kuzmitch a tale that made him laugh, and then she ran away."
"You"re lying, d.a.m.n you!" roared Mitya.
"Aie! Aie!" shrieked the old woman, but Mitya had vanished.
He ran with all his might to the house where Grushenka lived. At the moment he reached it, Grushenka was on her way to Mokroe. It was not more than a quarter of an hour after her departure.
Fenya was sitting with her grandmother, the old cook, Matryona, in the kitchen when "the captain" ran in. Fenya uttered a piercing shriek on seeing him.
"You scream?" roared Mitya, "where is she?"
But without giving the terror-stricken Fenya time to utter a word, he fell all of a heap at her feet.
"Fenya, for Christ"s sake, tell me, where is she?"
"I don"t know. Dmitri Fyodorovitch, my dear, I don"t know. You may kill me but I can"t tell you." Fenya swore and protested. "You went out with her yourself not long ago-"
"She came back!"
"Indeed she didn"t. By G.o.d I swear she didn"t come back."
"You"re lying!" shouted Mitya. "From your terror I know where she is."
He rushed away. Fenya in her fright was glad she had got off so easily. But she knew very well that it was only that he was in such haste, or she might not have fared so well. But as he ran, he surprised both Fenya and old Matryona by an unexpected action. On the table stood a bra.s.s mortar, with a pestle in it, a small bra.s.s pestle, not much more than six inches long. Mitya already had opened the door with one hand when, with the other, he s.n.a.t.c.hed up the pestle, and thrust it in his side-pocket.
"Oh Lord! He"s going to murder someone!" cried Fenya, flinging up her hands.
Chapter 4.
In the Dark.
WHERE was he running? "Where could she be except at Fyodor Pavlovitch"s? She must have run straight to him from Samsonov"s, that was clear now. The whole intrigue, the whole deceit was evident."... It all rushed whirling through his mind. He did not run to Marya Kondratyevna"s. "There was no need to go there... not the slightest need... he must raise no alarm... they would run and tell directly.... Marya Kondratyevna was clearly in the plot, Smerdyakov too, he too, all had been bought over!"
He formed another plan of action: he ran a long way round Fyodor Pavlovitch"s house, crossing the lane, running down Dmitrovsky Street, then over the little bridge, and so came straight to the deserted alley at the back, which was empty and uninhabited, with, on one side the hurdle fence of a neighbour"s kitchen-garden, on the other the strong high fence that ran all round Fyodor Pavlovitch"s garden. Here he chose a spot, apparently the very place, where according to the tradition, he knew Lizaveta had once climbed over it: "If she could climb over it," the thought, G.o.d knows why, occurred to him, "surely I can." He did in fact jump up, and instantly contrived to catch hold of the top of the fence. Then he vigorously pulled himself up and sat astride on it. Close by, in the garden stood the bathhouse, but from the fence he could see the lighted windows of the house too.
"Yes, the old man"s bedroom is lighted up. She"s there! and he leapt from the fence into the garden. Though he knew Grigory was ill and very likely Smerdyakov, too, and that there was no one to hear him, he instinctively hid himself, stood still, and began to listen. But there was dead silence on all sides and, as though of design, complete stillness, not the slightest breath of wind.
"And naught but the whispering silence," the line for some reason rose to his mind. "If only no one heard me jump over the fence! I think not." Standing still for a minute, he walked softly over the gra.s.s in the garden, avoiding the trees and shrubs. He walked slowly, creeping stealthily at every step, listening to his own footsteps. It took him five minutes to reach the lighted window. He remembered that just under the window there were several thick and high bushes of elder and whitebeam. The door from the house into the garden on the left-hand side was shut; he had carefully looked on purpose to see, in pa.s.sing. At last he reached the bushes and hid behind them. He held his breath. "I must wait now," he thought, "to rea.s.sure them, in case they heard my footsteps and are listening... if only I don"t cough or sneeze."
He waited two minutes. His heart was beating violently, and, at moments, he could scarcely breathe. "No, this throbbing at my heart won"t stop," he thought. "I can"t wait any longer." He was standing behind a bush in the shadow. The light of the window fell on the front part of the bush.
"How red the whitebeam berries are!" he murmured, not knowing why. Softly and noiselessly, step by step, he approached the window, and raised himself on tiptoe. All Fyodor Pavlovitch"s bedroom lay open before him. It was not a large room, and was divided in two parts by a red screen, "Chinese," as Fyodor Pavlovitch used to call it. The word "Chinese" flashed into Mitya"s mind, "and behind the screen, is Grushenka," thought Mitya. He began watching Fyodor Pavlovitch who was wearing his new striped-silk dressing-gown, which Mitya had never seen, and a silk cord with ta.s.sels round the waist. A clean, dandified shirt of fine linen with gold studs peeped out under the collar of the dressing-gown. On his head Fyodor Pavlovitch had the same red bandage which Alyosha had seen.
"He has got himself up," thought Mitya.
His father was standing near the window, apparently lost in thought. Suddenly he jerked up his head, listened a moment, and hearing nothing went up to the table, poured out half a gla.s.s of brandy from a decanter and drank it off. Then he uttered a deep sigh, again stood still a moment, walked carelessly up to the looking-gla.s.s on the wall, with his right hand raised the red bandage on his forehead a little, and began examining his bruises and scars, which had not yet disappeared.
"He"s alone," thought Mitya, "in all probability he"s alone."
Fyodor Pavlovitch moved away from the looking-gla.s.s, turned suddenly to the window and looked out. Mitya instantly slipped away into the shadow.
"She may be there behind the screen. Perhaps she"s asleep by now," he thought, with a pang at his heart. Fyodor Pavlovitch moved away from the window. "He"s looking for her out of the window, so she"s not there. Why should he stare out into the dark? He"s wild with impatience."... Mitya slipped back at once, and fell to gazing in at the window again. The old man was sitting down at the table, apparently disappointed. At last he put his elbow on the table, and laid his right cheek against his hand. Mitya watched him eagerly.
"He"s alone, he"s alone!" he repeated again. "If she were here, his face would be different."
Strange to say, a queer, irrational vexation rose up in his heart that she was not here. "It"s not that she"s not here," he explained to himself, immediately, "but that I can"t tell for certain whether she is or not." Mitya remembered afterwards that his mind was at that moment exceptionally clear, that he took in everything to the slightest detail, and missed no point. But a feeling of misery, the misery of uncertainty and indecision, was growing in his heart with every instant. "Is she here or not?" The angry doubt filled his heart, and suddenly, making up his mind, he put out his hand and softly knocked on the window frame. He knocked the signal the old man had agreed upon with Smerdyakov, twice slowly and then three times more quickly, the signal that meant "Grushenka is here!"
The old man started, jerked up his head, and, jumping up quickly, ran to the window. Mitya slipped away into the shadow. Fyodor Pavlovitch opened the window and thrust his whole head out.
"Grushenka, is it you? Is it you?" he said, in a sort of trembling half-whisper. "Where are you, my angel, where are you?" He was fearfully agitated and breathless.
"He"s alone," Mitya decided.
"Where are you?" cried the old man again; and he thrust his head out farther, thrust it out to the shoulders, gazing in all directions, right and left. "Come here, I"ve a little present for you. Come, I"ll show you..."
"He means the three thousand," thought Mitya.
"But where are you? Are you at the door? I"ll open it directly."
And the old man almost climbed out of the window, peering out to the right, where there was a door into the garden, trying to see into the darkness. In another second he would certainly have run out to open the door without waiting for Grushenka"s answer.
Mitya looked at him from the side without stirring. The old man"s profile that he loathed so, his pendent Adam"s apple, his hooked nose, his lips that smiled in greedy expectation, were all brightly lighted up by the slanting lamplight falling on the left from the room. A horrible fury of hatred suddenly surged up in Mitya"s heart: "There he was, his rival, the man who had tormented him, had ruined his life!" It was a rush of that sudden, furious, revengeful anger of which he had spoken, as though foreseeing it, to Alyosha, four days ago in the arbour, when, in answer to Alyosha"s question, "How can you say you"ll kill our father?" "I don"t know, I don"t know," he had said then. "Perhaps I shall not kill him, perhaps I shall. I"m afraid he"ll suddenly be so loathsome to me at that moment. I hate his double chin, his nose, his eyes, his shameless grin. I feel a personal repulsion. That"s what I"m afraid of, that"s what may be too much for me."... This personal repulsion was growing unendurable. Mitya was beside himself, he suddenly pulled the bra.s.s pestle out of his pocket.
"G.o.d was watching over me then," Mitya himself said afterwards. At that very moment Grigory waked up on his bed of sickness. Earlier in the evening he had undergone the treatment which Smerdyakov had described to Ivan. He had rubbed himself all over with vodka mixed with a secret, very strong decoction, had drunk what was left of the mixture while his wife repeated a "certain prayer" over him, after which he had gone to bed. Marfa Ignatyevna had tasted the stuff, too, and, being unused to strong drink, slept like the dead beside her husband.
But Grigory waked up in the night, quite suddenly, and, after a moment"s reflection, though he immediately felt a sharp pain in his back, he sat up in bed. Then he deliberated again, got up and dressed hurriedly. Perhaps his conscience was uneasy at the thought of sleeping while the house was unguarded "in such perilous times." Smerdyakov, exhausted by his fit, lay motionless in the next room. Marfa Ignatyevna did not stir. "The stuff"s been too much for the woman," Grigory thought, glancing at her, and groaning, he went out on the steps. No doubt he only intended to look out from the steps, for he was hardly able to walk, the pain in his back and his right leg was intolerable. But he suddenly remembered that he had not locked the little gate into the garden that evening. He was the most punctual and precise of men, a man who adhered to an unchangeable routine, and habits that lasted for years. Limping and writhing with pain he went down the steps and towards the garden. Yes, the gate stood wide open. Mechanically he stepped into the garden. Perhaps he fancied something, perhaps caught some sound, and, glancing to the left he saw his master"s window open. No one was looking out of it then.
"What"s it open for? It"s not summer now," thought Grigory, and suddenly, at that very instant he caught a glimpse of something extraordinary before him in the garden. Forty paces in front of him a man seemed to be running in the dark, a sort of shadow was moving very fast.
"Good Lord!" cried Grigory beside himself, and forgetting the pain in his back, he hurried to intercept the running figure. He took a short cut, evidently he knew the garden better; the flying figure went towards the bath-house, ran behind it and rushed to the garden fence. Grigory followed, not losing sight of him, and ran, forgetting everything. He reached the fence at the very moment the man was climbing over it. Grigory cried out, beside himself, pounced on him, and clutched his leg in his two hands.
Yes, his foreboding had not deceived him. He recognised him; it was he, the "monster," the "parricide."
"Parricide! the old man shouted so that the whole neighbourhood could hear, but he had not time to shout more, he fell at once, as though struck by lightning.
Mitya jumped back into the garden and bent over the fallen man. In Mitya"s hands was a bra.s.s pestle, and he flung it mechanically in the gra.s.s. The pestle fell two paces from Grigory, not in the gra.s.s but on the path, in a most conspicuous place. For some seconds he examined the prostrate figure before him. The old man"s head was covered with blood. Mitya put out his hand and began feeling it. He remembered afterwards clearly that he had been awfully anxious to make sure whether he had broken the old man"s skull, or simply stunned him with the pestle. But the blood was flowing horribly; and in a moment Mitya"s fingers were drenched with the hot stream. He remembered taking out of his pocket the clean white handkerchief with which he had provided himself for his visit to Madame Hohlakov, and putting it to the old man"s head, senselessly trying to wipe the blood from his face and temples. But the handkerchief was instantly soaked with blood.
"Good heavens! What am I doing it for?" thought Mitya, suddenly pulling himself together. "If I have broken his skull, how can I find out now? And what difference does it make now?" he added, hopelessly. "If I"ve killed him, I"ve killed him.... You"ve come to grief, old man, so there you must lie!" he said aloud. And suddenly turning to the fence, he vaulted over it into the lane and fell to running- the handkerchief soaked with blood he held, crushed up in his right fist, and as he ran he thrust it into the back pocket of his coat. He ran headlong, and the few pa.s.sers-by who met him in the dark, in the streets, remembered afterwards that they had met a man running that night. He flew back again to the widow Morozov"s house.
Immediately after he had left it that evening, Fenya had rushed to the chief porter, Nazar Ivanovitch, and besought him, for Christ"s sake, "not to let the captain in again to-day or to-morrow." Nazar Ivanovitch promised, but went upstairs to his mistress who had suddenly sent for him, and meeting his nephew, a boy of twenty, who had recently come from the country, on the way up told him to take his place, but forgot to mention "the captain." Mitya, running up to the gate, knocked. The lad instantly recognised him, for Mitya had more than once tipped him. Opening the gate at once, he let him in, and hastened to inform him with a good-humoured smile that "Agrafena Alexandrovna is not at home now, you know."
"Where is she then, Prohor?" asked Mitya, stopping short.
"She set off this evening, some two hours ago, with Timofey, to Mokroe."
"What for?" cried Mitya.
"That I can"t say. To see some officer. Someone invited her and horses were sent to fetch her."
Mitya left him, and ran like a madman to Fenya.
Chapter 5.
A Sudden Resolution.
SHE was sitting in the kitchen with her grandmother; they were both just going to bed. Relying on Nazar Ivanovitch, they had not locked themselves in. Mitya ran in, pounced on Fenya and seized her by the throat.
"Speak at once! Where is she? With whom is she now, at Mokroe?" he roared furiously.
Both the women squealed.
"Aie! I"ll tell you. Aie! Dmitri Fyodorovitch, darling, I"ll tell you everything directly, I won"t hide anything," gabbled Fenya, frightened to death; "she"s gone to Mokroe, to her officer."
"What officer?" roared Mitya.
"To her officer, the same one she used to know, the one who threw her over five years ago," cackled Fenya, as fast as she could speak.
Mitya withdrew the hands with which he was squeezing her throat. He stood facing her, pale as death, unable to utter a word, but his eyes showed that he realised it all, all, from the first word, and guessed the whole position. Poor Fenya was not in a condition at that moment to observe whether he understood or not. She remained sitting on the trunk as she had been when he ran into the room, trembling all over, holding her hands out before her as though trying to defend herself. She seemed to have grown rigid in that position. Her wide-opened, scared eyes were fixed immovably upon him. And to make matters worse, both his hands were smeared with blood. On the way, as he ran, he must have touched his forehead with them, wiping off the perspiration, so that on his forehead and his right cheek were bloodstained patches. Fenya was on the verge of hysterics. The old cook had jumped up and was staring at him like a mad woman, almost unconscious with terror.
Mitya stood for a moment, then mechanically sank on to a chair next to Fenya. He sat, not reflecting but, as it were, terror-stricken, benumbed. Yet everything was clear as day: that officer, he knew about him, he knew everything perfectly, he had known it from Grushenka herself, had known that a letter had come from him a month before. So that for a month, for a whole month, this had been going on, a secret from him, till the very arrival of this new man, and he had never thought of him! But how could he, how could he not have thought of him? Why was it he had forgotten this officer, like that, forgotten him as soon as he heard of him? That was the question that faced him like some monstrous thing. And he looked at this monstrous thing with horror, growing cold with horror.
But suddenly, as gently and mildly as a gentle and affectionate child, he began speaking to Fenya as though he had utterly forgotten how he had scared and hurt her just now. He fell to questioning Fenya with an extreme preciseness, astonishing in his position, and though the girl looked wildly at his blood-stained hands, she, too, with wonderful readiness and rapidity, answered every question as though eager to put the whole truth and nothing but the truth before him. Little by little, even with a sort of enjoyment, she began explaining every detail, not wanting to torment him, but, as it were, eager to be of the utmost service to him. She described the whole of that day, in great detail, the visit of Rakitin and Alyosha, how she, Fenya, had stood on the watch, how the mistress had set off, and how she had called out of the window to Alyosha to give him, Mitya, her greetings, and to tell him "to remember for ever how she had loved him for an hour."
Hearing of the message, Mitya suddenly smiled, and there was a flush of colour on his pale cheeks. At the same moment Fenya said to him, not a bit afraid now to be inquisitive: "Look at your hands, Dmitri Fyodorovitch. They"re all over blood!
"Yes," answered Mitya mechanically. He looked carelessly at his hands and at once forgot them and Fenya"s question.
He sank into silence again. Twenty minutes had pa.s.sed since he had run in. His first horror was over, but evidently some new fixed determination had taken possession of him. He suddenly stood up, smiling dreamily.
"What has happened to you, sir?" said Fenya, pointing to his hands again. She spoke compa.s.sionately, as though she felt very near to him now in his grief. Mitya looked at his hands again.
"That"s blood, Fenya," he said, looking at her with a strange expression. "That"s human blood, and my G.o.d! why was it shed? But... Fenya... there"s a fence here" (he looked at her as though setting her a riddle), "a high fence, and terrible to look at. But at dawn to-morrow, when the sun rises, Mitya will leap over that fence.... You don"t understand what fence, Fenya, and, never mind.... You"ll hear to-morrow and understand... and now, good-bye. I won"t stand in her way. I"ll step aside, I know how to step aside. Live, my joy.... You loved me for an hour, remember Mityenka Karamazov so for ever.... She always used to call me Mityenka, do you remember?"
And with those words he went suddenly out of the kitchen. Fenya was almost more frightened at this sudden departure than she had been when he ran in and attacked her.
Just ten minutes later Dmitri went in to Pyotr Ilyitch Perhotin, the young official with whom he had p.a.w.ned his pistols. It was by now half-past eight, and Pyotr Ilyitch had finished his evening tea, and had just put his coat on again to go to the Metropolis to play billiards. Mitya caught him coming out.
Seeing him with his face all smeared with blood, the young man uttered a cry of surprise.