Then I kissed him, open mouths, sliding my tongue inside.
He let me, not taking over or anything.
He tasted like toothpaste and Merry, an awesome combination.
The last thing I"d had the night before was a Baby Ruth bar and a can of Diet 7UP, but I figured that had long since worn off and maybe I didn"t taste so good.
I didn"t care. I went for it, drawing him in, my insides contracting like they were caving in on an empty that had to be filled or I"d shrink to nothing, and the only sustenance it would accept was a healthy dose of Garrett Merrick.
So I fed from him, trailing my hand up his shirt from his abs to his chest, my fingers clenching in, pulling him closer to me and going for more.
Merry gave it and kept giving until his groan throbbed through my p.u.s.s.y, making it contract.
He pulled his lips away and landed a peck on the side of my mouth before he moved back minutely and looked into my eyes.
"I like how you wake up, baby, but you got s.h.i.t timing. I have to get Ethan to school."
I stared up at him and slowly let his shirt go as I just as slowly turned my head to look at the alarm clock.
Ethan had to leave for school in exactly three minutes.
My alarm didn"t go off.
What the f.u.c.k?
I looked back to Merry. "Ethan"s ready for school?"
"Got up, got him up, got him doin" his thing. I made him breakfast. He"s ready to roll. Just didn"t want you to wake up and freak, so I woke you to let you know he"s all good, I got him, and you can sleep in."
I could sleep in?
Merry made my son breakfast?
Merry had him?
A fog filled my head as this knowledge processed through me.
Since he was born, mornings with Ethan were mine. With my work history, they were the only times that were guaranteed, him and me. For breakfast. When he was a baby, a toddler, a little kid, for cuddles. On the weekend, for hanging together and watching cartoons. Before school, shooting the s.h.i.t and making sure he was good to face the day.
That was mine.
No one got that.
Not even my mom.
When I worked late, she stayed at my place and either slept on the couch if she was tired or went home when I got home. If I had to count on Feb, Vi, anyone, I went to go get my kid, shuffling him out half asleep to my car, helping him drop into his own bed.
It might not be right, making a kid switch beds in the middle of the night, but my kid woke up in his bed with his mom there to take care of him.
And he did not wake up with some guy in the house that he knew but he did not know what that man was to his mother.
The world might think I"m a stupid, s.k.a.n.ky s.l.u.t.
But my kid did not.
And he was never supposed to get that first inkling his mom was that kind of mom, that kind of woman.
Not ever.
Not...f.u.c.king...ever.
"You got my kid up," I said to Merry.
"Yeah, babe, and now I gotta get him to school."
"You got my kid up," I repeated, and Merry"s head jerked.
Then his eyes went alert.
I moved quickly, throwing back the covers and leaping out of bed. I s.n.a.t.c.hed my jeans up, shoved a foot in then the other. Yanking them up, I looked to Merry.
"You don"t get to do that s.h.i.t," I hissed quietly, doing up my fly. "You do not get to make that decision, Garrett. He"s my kid. I get his mornings."
Something flooded his face, a sweet something, but I was not done.
Not by a long shot.
"You shoulda stayed in bed, or you shoulda got me up and got out before he got up. You do not make the decision your own d.a.m.ned self about what my kid knows, what he sees, or who looks after him." I straightened and jabbed my thumb to myself. "I do."
He stood, murmuring, "Cher-"
I got in his s.p.a.ce, head tipped back, mouth still hissing. "You and I f.u.c.ked once. Now you"re jackin" my s.h.i.t with your f.u.c.ked-up head games, and that"s okay. That"s the way of the world. That happens to stupid b.i.t.c.hes like me who do stupid s.h.i.t like gettin" s.h.i.tfaced and lettin" a man f.u.c.k her who"s drownin" his sorrows because he"s in love with a woman he cannot have."
Merry"s expression changed again, but I was too far gone to take note.
"But my son never knows his mother"s a stupid b.i.t.c.h like that. And he sure as f.u.c.k doesn"t find out that s.h.i.t from some a.s.shole who gets his rocks off jackin" her around."
His entire long, lean body jolted like he"d been struck, but I turned on my bare foot and stomped out of the room, happy to see that I had to open the door in order to do it, which meant Ethan wouldn"t have heard any of that.
I took a deep breath and another shallower one on my way so I at least had some of my s.h.i.t together by the time I cleared the hall and came into my living room.
Ethan had his jacket on, his backpack on his shoulder, and when he saw me, he grinned.
"He told you, right?" he asked the minute he could get the words out. "Merry told you that Marty got "im? Tackled him behind the freakin" Dairy Queen."
"Yeah, kid, he told me," I confirmed.
"Marty"s so cool!" Ethan declared, saying words about Officer Marty Fink that only kids in that town eleven years old or younger would utter. "And get this, you know that waffle iron you bought at that garage sale that we used once and it conked out?" Before I could confirm that I knew the waffle iron he was referring to, he kept talking. "Merry opened it up, messed with some wires, and now it works."
G.o.d.
Ethan said that like Merry came up with the cure for cancer in his sleep, called the FDA, and got them on it, and already, statues around the world were being planned to be erected in his honor.
It was worse than I thought.
"He made you some too, Mom. They"re in the oven, keepin" warm," Ethan told me.
"That"s cool, Ethan. Now, do you have your homework done?" I asked.
He looked confused at my non-excitement to his excitement-filled morning and answered, "Yeah, Mom. You asked me that last night."
"Your gramma check it?"
"Yeah." He was getting impatient. "You asked me that too."
"Okay, warning," I declared, moving closer to him. "Last night a bad guy was on the loose, so I"m taking my quota of gooey for the week right now. I"m gonna hug you before you go and you"re gonna have to put up with me tellin" you I love you."
My boy rolled his eyes, but I ignored it completely, getting close and taking him in my arms.
I hugged tight and went overboard, landing three quick kisses on his head, smelling the shampoo in his freshly cleaned, still slightly wet hair.
Christ, Merry also got him to shower. This was not big on Ethan"s. .h.i.t list in the mornings (or ever).
Ethan wound his arms around his mom, gave me a quick squeeze, and let me go.
I took my cue and let him go too, but after I did, I lifted up my hand and playfully shoved the side of his head.
"Love you, kid. Be good."
At this juncture, Merry came into play, opening the door and lifting his hand with his keys. We heard a faraway beep and I looked his way.
"Go on out, buddy. I gotta talk with your mom real quick, then I"ll be out." He offered his keys. "You know how to start a car?"
My mouth got tight.
"Yeah! Sure!" Ethan lied, because he did not. Then again, he"d seen me do it often enough in his life and it wasn"t hard.
"Start "er up, keep her in park, but get the heater runnin"," Merry ordered.
"Right!" Ethan cried, grabbed the keys and looked to me. ""Bye, Mom."
"Later, kid."
He took off.
I watched, then looked again to Merry to see him also watching.
He turned to me only when the door on his Excursion slammed.
I opened my mouth.
Merry beat me.
"Any more s.h.i.t gets found, Tanner"ll call you direct."
I stood still and stared at him, the empty tone of his voice slamming into me as sure as if he was shouting.
"You should tell Ethan what"s up with his dad and that woman," he advised, his voice still empty. "He should be in the know and aware if they try to pull anything."
Okay, right, I"d reacted and I was right to do so. Merry had made a decision that wasn"t his to make.
But I was getting the impression that I may have taken my reaction a bit too far.
"Merry-"
"You like your head jammed right up your a.s.s, Cheryl, have at it."
Pain stabbed through my midsection.
He"d never called me Cheryl. To my recollection, not even back in the day when I still was Cheryl.
"Not that this"ll get through, but worth it to me to say it, so I"m gonna do that," he stated. "No way in f.u.c.k would I involve myself in your kid"s life in the way I did this mornin" unless I was G.o.dd.a.m.ned, f.u.c.kin" sure that I intended to be a part of his life and his mom"s life in a way that was healthy for all of us. May have jumped the gun with that, but there was a way to communicate that to me, and the way you did it was not that way."
Yeah.
I"d taken it too far.
f.u.c.kin" sure that I intended to be a part of his life and his mom"s life in a way that was healthy for all of us.
s.h.i.t.
I"d taken it way too far.
I took a step toward him, but a nuance of change shifted over his frame and I stopped.
"Merry," I whispered.
"You like it behind those walls in your fortress, Cheryl? Stay. I reckon it"s cold as f.u.c.k in there, but I also reckon that don"t matter to you. You"re used to it. Enjoy it in there, spinnin" your wheels."
With that as his parting shot, he turned to the storm door, opened it, and strode right through.
It whispered shut on its hinge, banging at the last when I didn"t catch it, but I did move to it.
And I stood in it, staring out as Merry got in his truck with my son.
Ethan looked to me and gave me a short wave.
Merry didn"t look to me.