And in love.
Ethan Ethan looked from the TV to his mom and Merry in the kitchen.
They were being gooey, standing close, staring into each other"s eyes, Merry"s hand in his mom"s hair by the side of her face.
Totally gross.
Even after witnessing the gross, when Ethan looked back at the TV, he did it smiling.
Chapter Twenty-One.
Overachiever Cher Late Thursday Evening In my cami and pajama bottoms, I sat cross-legged in Merry"s bed, facing Merry.
He had his back to the headboard, his body stretched out, his chest bare, the covers pulled up to his hips.
And he"d just shared his day.
For once in my life, I was at a loss for words.
But, being me, it didn"t take long before I found some.
"That BMW b.i.t.c.h...she have dark hair cut short and look-at-me-I"m-loaded sungla.s.ses?" I asked.
"Yeah," he answered.
I knew her. She"d honked at me too. More than once.
"I"ve seen her wear those gla.s.ses during a thunderstorm," I shared.
Merry said nothing, just kept looking up at me with half his mouth hitched up like he thought I was cute or something.
"You got outta your car, flashed your badge, and gave her s.h.i.t?" I asked.
"Yep," Merry answered.
So...totally...f.u.c.king...loved this man.
"You do something like that with me around to witness it, straight up, a month of b.l.o.w.j.o.bs at your command," I announced. "Any time. Anywhere. Swear. You give the word, I"ll drop and suck you off better than you"ve ever had it, baby."
His hand, resting on my knee, slid down the side of my thigh as he shifted down the bed and slightly to his side. He caught me at my hip and gave a tug.
I fell forward even though I could have righted myself. I knew what he wanted, so I didn"t.
I uncurled my legs and stretched out on top of him.
We ended with one of his hands on my a.s.s, the other sliding up my back, both of mine trapped between us on his chest.
"You"ve already given me that, Cherie," he muttered.
I"d given him the best head he"d had?
Awesome.
"Then I"ll give it my all to give better," I vowed.
He smiled, his hand sifted into my hair, and he pulled me down for a short, hard kiss.
He released the pressure and I lifted my head.
"You got no reaction to that Ryker s.h.i.t?" he asked quietly.
I did.
I found it mildly annoying.
I also found that Ryker, the most up-front guy I knew, was full of s.h.i.t.
Yes, sure, Lissa was a sweetheart and she wanted the best for the people she cared about.
But Ryker didn"t do the whacked-out s.h.i.t he"d done to make Lissa happy.
He did it because he liked me and he liked Merry.
And because, under all that muscle and crazy, he was a romantic.
This meant I had fodder for years to give him s.h.i.t.
Which I did not find annoying at all.
"I"ve decided for my peace of mind to jump right from mildly annoyed to amused," I answered.
"Probably a good call," Merry murmured. His hand moved from my a.s.s so he could wrap his arm around my waist as he said, "All that s.h.i.t taken care of, you"re good to go home tomorrow."
As c.r.a.ppy as I thought Merry"s condo was, this was disappointing.
I didn"t share that.
I just said, "Yeah."
"That"s why I didn"t arrange a bed for Ethan. After tonight, he"ll be in his own," Merry told me.
I nodded.
"Though, thinkin" of cleanin" out that junk room and setting it up," Merry stated. "Just in case."
More sleepovers.
And my kid was invited.
That made me giddy.
I hid it and just smiled, though I had a feeling my smile was super huge because it hurt my face.
Merry"s gaze dropped to it, his lips quirked, his eyes fired, and his arms gave me a squeeze.
Because he was Merry and pretty much perfect, he didn"t rub it in, but instead let it go and looked back to my eyes.
"During that talk with my dad today, he mentioned he wants us all over for dinner."
I knew Dave Merrick. I liked Dave Merrick.
I liked it more he wanted me and my kid to come over with his son for dinner.
A whole lot more.
"Okay," I whispered, cleared my throat and suggested, "Maybe he"d like to come to Ethan"s party."
"No maybes about that."
Oh yeah, I liked that. A possible grandpa for Ethan.
I liked that a whole lot.
"When we go to Dad"s, we"ll get Rocky and Tanner, invite your mom, and make it a family thing. You think Grace"ll be up for that?" Merry asked.
My mother might literally be up for that if she could manage to make a miracle and walk into Dave Merrick"s house, doing it how she was feeling-floating on air.
"Think I can talk her around to it," I muttered.
Merry smiled at me.
I didn"t want to take that smile away, but I had to ask.
"You okay with Mia"s dad"s surprise visit?"
His fingers at my waist started stroking the skin there. "Not really. But he"s not as hardheaded as she is. I think he got my message. Whether he"s able to get it to sink in for her, no clue."
I hoped he could. Except for the unknown of whether Peggy and Trent had something up their sleeve, or if they"d actually smartened up and were giving Ethan some s.p.a.ce, Mia was the only wildcard we were dealing with.
"You think all the c.r.a.p swirling around us will settle and we"ll find out what it"s like to be together when it"s just normal?" I asked.
"Wouldn"t know. Never had normal. But my guess is, normal is probably really f.u.c.king boring," he answered.
That was a good answer because I wasn"t sure I had it in me to be normal. I"d also obviously never experienced it. But my guess, too, was normal was probably mind-numbingly boring.
I used my thumb to trace the beautiful column of his throat, saying softly, "Good you had that talk with your dad."
"Yeah," he replied softly, his blue eyes warm, but I could see it there. Actually, I saw it the minute he got home that night.
Something was missing, but something else had replaced it. And what was gone was bad, but what was in its place was not.
Now I knew what all that meant, what I saw in his eyes.
Relief and maybe even a little bit of contentment.
Like everything, Merry wore it well.
"Maybe good your dad had that talk with you too," I suggested.
His fingers at my hip stopped moving and curled tight. "Not sure he"s ever gonna let go of the guilt, brown eyes." He kept hold of my hip and my gaze. "But I am sure I now get why he won"t."
My thumb stilled on his throat.
Was he saying...?
"Merry," I whispered.
"He loved her. He lost her. He misses her. He took risks that meant the end of her life. He didn"t end it, and I think in some part of his head he gets that"s not his fault. But he couldn"t hold on to her as tight as he"s still holdin" if he ever let that go. And I get that. I get that love he has for her. I get that need to hold on. I get it now."
He got it now, holding me, staring at me.
Holy f.u.c.k.
"But yeah," he kept going. "Even with that, you"re right. It was good for him we had that talk too."
I didn"t push the other part, the part that made my heart pump fast, doing that s.h.i.t still making it feel lighter.
I told him something I knew for certain.
"No matter how many years pa.s.s, it means something to a parent when their child needs them. At first, kids need you so much, all you want them to do is grow up so they can do things for themselves. Then you learn. You learn you should have savored every time they reached for you or called your name."
Merry was still staring at me, but the look in his eyes had changed. There was a sweetness there that I liked a lot but had never seen.
Oh yeah.
If this worked, I was totally going to be able to talk him into kids.
Me, being me, not perfect but wanting to give Merry everything he needed, I didn"t push that.