"Yeah, one of us is gonna be breathless, brown eyes, that"s a guarantee."
He could absolutely guarantee that.
Absolutely.
And it hit me at that juncture that I was in the middle of negotiating with Merry a friends-with-benefits-without-the-friendship-part deal.
How the f.u.c.k did that happen?
"We done with this bulls.h.i.t?" he asked.
"We are absolutely done," I answered.
"With this bulls.h.i.t, you"re correct. Other than that, you are not," he retorted, then turned and stalked out of the room, slamming the door.
I stared at it.
Then I sent voodoo vibes of evil I did not have the skill to accurately deliver (or any skill at all) in Peggy"s direction for being whatever the h.e.l.l she was and doing it with very bad timing.
After I failed at that endeavor and got my head together, I shoved the envelope in my purse and got back to work.
Garrett Garrett stood on the tiny balcony of his s.h.i.t condo and lit a cigarette as he listened to the phone ring in his ear.
He snapped the top of the Zippo closed and looked out at his stellar view of a parking lot that led to another building of condos, none of which were remotely pretty.
"Yo," his friend and brother-in-law, Tanner Layne, said in his ear.
Garrett exhaled and replied, "Yo, big man, you got a minute?"
"Sure," Tanner answered.
"Listen, I need a favor."
"This a favor that"s gonna take a lot of my time, none of which I"ll get paid for, or is this a favor that"s gonna mean me pickin" up your mail "cause you"re headed to a beach?"
This was a valid question. Tanner was a private investigator, a good one. Garrett was a cop. Being a cop, there were rules. Being a PI, those rules were a lot looser. Garrett needed his brother-in-law when he needed loose, something that happened often, and he didn"t hesitate to ask.
Tanner usually didn"t hesitate to deliver.
Still, he b.i.t.c.hed about it.
"Not a lotta your time, but it"s important. You find it hard to fit in, I"ll make it worth your while and pay your fees," Garrett told him.
Tanner said nothing.
This was also a valid response. Garrett had never offered this in exchange for services rendered.
Finally, Tanner spoke. "Jesus. What"s the favor?"
"Need you to look into some people for me. Man"s name is Trent. His wife"s name is Peg. Don"t know where they live. My guess is Indy but could be anywhere relatively close. Don"t know their last name. Just know you"ll probably find it, you look up the birth certificate of Ethan Rivers nee Sheckle, seein" as Trent"s his birth father."
"f.u.c.k," Tanner muttered, then instantly jumped to the obvious conclusion. "Cher got some problems?"
"Yeah," Garrett told him, not giving that first f.u.c.k that he"d promised Cher he wouldn"t tell anyone she had issues.
First, because Tanner would keep it on the down low. Second, because that stick-up-her-a.s.s b.i.t.c.h was not going to get her hands on Ethan. Cher was not going to lose her son. The woman had been through enough. The time that she had headaches outside of the normal ones good folks had was over.
That was a decision Garrett had made the minute they"d had their conversation, and it wasn"t because he"d f.u.c.ked her.
It was because she was Cher and she was a Cher he"d now f.u.c.ked.
"According to her," he continued, "Peg"s not big on her husband"s blood livin" with an ex-stripper or the rest of the baggage Denny Lowe landed on her."
"They goin" for custody?" Tanner asked.
"I get the impression, not yet. But I also get the impression that they"re gearin" up for it."
"The impression?"
"Cher isn"t feelin" like bein" super informative at this juncture."
Tanner again made no reply.
"She"s freaked, though, in a big f.u.c.kin" way," Garrett told him. "Her history, she has reason. The way she"s raisin" that boy and the love she"s got for him, she shouldn"t worry. But life she"s lived, that won"t be her first thought. She told me her ex is a recovering addict. She called him a junkie. I"m helpin" her out, hopin" you might uncover some ammunition in case they wage war."
"I gotta be in the office in the morning. I"ll run some searches, get what I got to you, follow up if something opens up," Tanner offered.
"Be appreciated," Garrett muttered, dragging from his cigarette, then exhaling before he said, "Need you to keep this quiet, brother. You and me on this. And by quiet, I mean I don"t even want Cher to know you"re lookin" into this."
"Tough as nails, determined to look out for herself, not drag anyone into her s.h.i.t," Tanner deduced.
"That"s it," Garrett confirmed.
"I"ll go quiet," Tanner told him.
"That"s appreciated too."
"Never ends for her," Tanner observed. "The legacy of bulls.h.i.t that a.s.shole laid on her."
"Nope," Garrett agreed.
"Her ex had problems, we"ll find somethin"," Tanner a.s.sured.
"I hope so," Garrett replied, then asked, "You and Rocky gettin" any sleep?"
This was also a valid question since his sister and brother-in-law gave him a niece, still a baby, though growing up, and she was a big fan of daytime naps, but she"d never been a fan of nighttime sleep.
"CeeCee"s determined to be a night owl."
Thinking about his beautiful niece, Cecelia, and the fact that she was a product of the love Tanner and Rocky had for each other, Garrett grinned into the night as he took another drag.
"Listen, Garrett," Tanner continued. "Heard about Mia. Was deep in it with some work with Ryker. Didn"t have time to seek you out. Called, but you didn"t-"
Garrett interrupted him. "I"m good."
"Brother," Tanner said low, not believing him.
Garrett inhaled again, and on the exhale, he stated, "I"m good, Tanner. Did it smart, timed it right, threw a few back when Cher was on." He felt one side of his lips tip up. "She had a few words with me the only way Cher knows how. But the woman has wisdom."
Tanner still sounded disbelieving when he asked, "What"d she say?"
Since it all came out, the fact that the Merrick family was still dealing with the murder years ago of Raquel and Garrett"s mom, Cecelia Merrick, that s.h.i.t being ugly, nearly shredding Rocky, Garrett didn"t hold much back from Tanner Layne.
Rocky would have come undone if Tanner, his mother, his sons, and his friend/mentor Devin hadn"t held the tatters together. And it might not have happened-a lot might not have happened-if Garrett had given his sister what she"d really needed in the years since their mother was murdered.
He"d held back in the past, thinking he was protecting Rocky, doing what she told him she needed, looking after his sister, his family.
Tanner was family. Garrett and his father"s silence about the demons that plagued the Merrick clan after Cecilia had been tortured and shot to death had nearly torn their family apart (again).
s.h.i.t had gone extreme.
Now he no longer made that same mistake.
So, right then, Garrett didn"t hesitate in giving it to Tanner.
"Difference between you and Rocky and me and Mia is you got a shot at gettin" your woman back, you took it, and you stood by her when the bad hit. I have that same bad s.h.i.t. A different way, but I got it. Mia knew it and didn"t give that back."
"f.u.c.k. Never thought to turn that table, but Cher"s right."
She was.
For years, Garrett never turned that table either.
Mia was it. The one. Tormenting his mind. Owning his heart.
He"d been happy with her. She"d been happy with him. It had been good. Beyond good.
They"d had it all.
Then he"d ended it, and he didn"t even know why he did it until Rocky came apart that day-Rocky, having done the same thing to Tanner years before, deep down into her bones terrified that happy would vaporize like it had the night Cecilia stood strong to protect her daughter, her husband"s work, then lost her life doing both.
He also never would have guessed that the day he lost Mia for good was the day he"d see things for what they were.
Tanner and Rocky had it. Colt and Feb. Cal and Vi. Dusty and Mike.
Garrett might have it, he didn"t know.
What he did know, now that Cher had pointed it out, was that Mia didn"t.
Getting that knowledge from Cher, it was like he"d been yoked, that yoke heavy but also invisible. He didn"t even know it"d hung around his neck, dragging him down.
And then it was just gone.
And now he was free.
"Good to know you"re doin" okay," Tanner said.
"Yeah," Garrett muttered.
"Now, brother, CeeCee"s down, so Roc and me got about five seconds of alone time and, no offense, I wanna spend that time with my wife."
Garrett grinned into the night again and replied, "Then I"ll let you go. Later, Tanner."
"Later, Garrett."
They disconnected and Garrett stared into the parking lot, wondering what it would feel like to have an actual yard as he finished his smoke.
He turned and bent low to the c.r.a.ppy-a.s.s, cheap, white plastic table that sat between two c.r.a.ppy-a.s.s, cheap, white plastic chairs in order to stub out his cigarette.
He did this thinking back to if he"d ever smoked in front of Ethan.
Friday night, Cher had come out with him twice as they were getting hammered so he could have a smoke, standing in front of him on her high-heeled shoes, shifting from foot to foot in the cold, while he told her to get her a.s.s back inside and she gave him all kinds of s.h.i.t for smoking.
But Ethan? No. Garrett wouldn"t do that. He"d never smoke in front of any of his friends" kids. Not when they were Ethan"s age. Not when they hadn"t already learned better.
He turned, pulled the sliding gla.s.s door open, and shut it behind him, intending to go to the fridge and get a beer.
He didn"t get a beer.
He looked at the living room/dining room/kitchen part of his condo, all of it easy to see because it was condensed into as few square feet as a builder could design those three s.p.a.ces.
He had c.r.a.ppy-a.s.s balcony furniture.
The furniture inside was only a shade above c.r.a.ppy-a.s.s, but it was still s.h.i.t.
Immediately, his mind filled with what he"d seen of Cher"s place.
He was not surprised that she lived in a house that looked like it was decorated by Janis Joplin"s slightly more together sister. Stuffed full, dark at the same time bright with color, it had personality. It was unique. It held warmth that hit you the second you stepped foot over the threshold.
It was Cher.
The living room was good; her bedroom was better.
Her bedroom said anything goes. Her bedroom said your wildest fantasy could come true. Her bedroom said you were safe to be what you were, think what you want, do what you like, eat like a pig, drink like a fish, f.u.c.k like an animal, sleep like the dead, no worries, leave life at the door and just be.
And she"d delivered. They"d only had hours in that room, so she didn"t deliver on it all, but the instant they fell to her bed, tearing at each other"s clothes, she"d more than delivered.