Merry looked at Ethan. "Thought your birthday was Wednesday, bud."
Ethan beamed at Merry because he remembered his birthday.
Since he was busy beaming, I answered for him, "Birthday"s Wednesday. Party"s Sat.u.r.day."
Merry, eyes to me, asked, "Feb"s got you scheduled off next Wednesday, yeah?"
I nodded.
"Your mom?" he went on.
I nodded again.
"Right, then I"ll make reservations at Sw.a.n.k"s."
Ethan"s voice was pitched high when he asked, "Say what?"
s.h.i.t.
I hadn"t talked with Ethan about Sw.a.n.k"s yet.
Then again, I hadn"t expected Merry and me to make it far enough to get to Sw.a.n.k"s without me f.u.c.king things up in some way.
But here we were.
Thankfully.
"It"s a nice restaurant, kid," I said quickly. "Steaks and-"
"I know what it is!" Ethan cried excitedly. "Brendon"s parents take them there New Year"s Eve every year. He says you can cut the steaks with your fork." My son looked to my man. "You"re takin" us there?"
Merry was grinning at him. "You want that, yeah."
"I want it!" Ethan practically yelled, and looked at me. "This is so cool. I can"t wait to tell the guys. Brendon is a good guy, but he can also have a stick up his b.u.t.t "cause his folks are loaded. He"s always talking about stuff that Teddy and Everest and me"ll never do "cause Teddy lives in a double-wide and Everest"s dad is a douche. I"m still, like, top of the heap because my mom doesn"t make me eat broccoli. But Brendon"s breathin" at my neck "cause he"s got a cable premium package and Netflix and Amazon Instant Video and Hulu. This"ll put me over the top. Way over the top now since my mom"s boyfriend is a bada.s.s cop with a killer SUV who lets me hang at the station and takes us for steaks you can cut with a fork. So this...is...awesome."
I didn"t know whether to be thrilled to my soul my son was so happy or scared out of my mind that I would undoubtedly someday soon do something to f.u.c.k everything up with Merry and me, considering Ethan was in this deep with what Merry and me meant to his place in the middle-school-boy hierarchy.
Before I could make up my mind, Merry got right in there and made it worse.
"Even fearin" spontaneous combustion, bud, you should know I got Netflix and Hulu. I also got the premium package that includes NFL Sunday Ticket."
Ethan"s eyes went huge and he breathed, "NFL Sunday Ticket?"
"Yep," Merry confirmed.
Breakfast forgotten, slowly, my kid swung his eyes my way.
Yeah, Merry just made it worse.
"Eat," I ordered. "You"ll need as much fuel as you can get to rub it in to your friends how awesome you got it. But, just warnin" you, I"ve been reconsiderin" your diet. That might not mean broccoli, but I see vegetables in your future." I looked to Merry. "That means yours too."
"Mom!" Ethan cried.
"I like vegetables," Merry muttered, and went back to his plate.
Ethan immediately stopped b.i.t.c.hing and turned contemplative eyes to Merry.
At least there was that. I didn"t know if Merry"s proclamation that he liked vegetables would hold sway when Ethan was actually confronted with the real article. But at least it made him think.
"Eat," I repeated my order. "Then you gotta wash up, get your shoes on, and get your stuff so you guys aren"t late."
They ate, both my boys leaning against opposite counters in the kitchen of my boyfriend-of-two-weeks" house where we were currently living.
Merry finished first and helped me do the dishes.
Ethan finished next, rinsed his own plate (the plastic kind you got in those sets at Target that cost nearly nothing, looked like s.h.i.t, and felt like you were only one step up from eating off paper), and put it in the dishwasher.
Merry seriously had to learn the beauty of a yard sale.
"I"ll be back," Ethan declared before he dashed to the bathroom in Merry"s hallway.
That was when I got in Merry"s s.p.a.ce.
"Babe, gotta get my shoes and jacket," he muttered even as he rested a hand on my hip.
"You do know you can never-not ever, not ever-break up with me now, no matter how I manage to f.u.c.k this up, because you just told my kid you have NFL Sunday Ticket," I hissed.
First, Merry"s head jerked.
Then he stared down at me.
After that, both his arms closed around me so hard I slammed into his body and lost my breath as he busted out laughing.
I liked the sound. I liked the feel.
But I couldn"t breathe.
"Merry, you"re squeezing the breath out of me," I gasped.
He instantly let me go. Then, just as instantly, both his hands framed either side of my head and his face was in mine.
"A spectacular early-morning f.u.c.k. A long shower. d.a.m.ned fine eggs and toast. The promise of dude food, whatever the h.e.l.l that is. And the first time I"ve laughed before eight o"clock in the morning since I can remember. Cherie, sweetheart, if this is you f.u.c.kin" up, keep on doin" it."
s.h.i.t, he had to stop.
"G.o.d, I"m feeling warm and squishy again," I b.i.t.c.hed.
Merry started laughing again.
"Gross! Are you two bein" gooey?" Ethan called with disgust from the living room.
"Yeah," Merry answered, sliding his hands from my head to wrap his arms around me. "Your mom is funny. That deserves gooey."
I stood in Merry"s arms, feeling a lot of good things, most of them about what Merry"d said, coupled with his hugs and laughter.
Then I stood and felt other things as I watched my son arrest, just standing there, his face slack, his eyes on us, but they were working.
And then I watched him grin.
Whatever just occurred to him, he intended to keep it to himself, and I knew this when he bounded to the couch I"d told him to fold up (and he did), plopped on it, and reached for his shoes.
"I gotta do the same," Merry said, and I looked to him to see he was looking down on me. "Give me more gooey before I do it."
I slid my eyes to my kid.
He was yanking on his sock.
I slid my eyes to my man.
He was looking at my mouth.
So I rolled up on my toes and gave him gooey by touching my mouth to his.
Merry"s eyes were happy and smiling when I rolled back.
Okay, maybe I could do this without f.u.c.king it up.
Maybe we could all do this without f.u.c.king it up.
That thought made me smile back.
This got me a squeeze from my man before he let me go.
He strode out of the kitchen on bare feet, came back in shoes while shrugging on his suit jacket and looking hot, and called out to my boy to get his s.h.i.t for school and say good-bye to his mom.
Ethan already had his jacket on and was tossing his backpack over his shoulder, calling to me on his way to Merry and the door.
They both smiled and waved at me before they went out. They did this in different ways-Merry"s wave was low and cool, his smile handsome and hot; Ethan"s wave was high and goofy, his smile warm and sweet.
The door closed behind them.
Honest to G.o.d, watching all that, I knew it didn"t get warmer and squishier.
It just didn"t.
And I couldn"t imagine it ever would.
But for the first time in a long time, I was hoping.
Hoping hard.
Hoping I was wrong.
Garrett Garrett sat in his truck outside Ethan"s school, watching the kid bounce toward the building in that way kids walked before they learned cool. Ethan was doing this twisted back toward Garrett, hand up, waving.
Smiling, he lifted his own hand and did a salute.
When he lost sight of Cher"s boy as he crawled along in the line of the cars of parents who"d dropped off their kids and were waiting to exit the school, he yanked out his phone and sent her a text.
Ethan"s good.
Then he sent another text, this one to Mike.
Gotta do something before I come in. Be there as soon as I can.
He got a text back from Cher as he was sending the one to Mike.
Thanks, baby.
After that, she put a bunch of x"s and o"s intermingled with some flowers and ended all that, for some strange and hilarious reason, with an emoji of a ghost and one of a flashlight.
This meant he was smiling when he made the call he had to make and put his phone to his ear.
"Yo, son, heard you caught that homicide," Dave Merrick said in greeting.
His father was a retired BPD detective. In other words, with a son on the force and just because he was who he was, he kept in the know.
"Yeah, Dad. Listen, you got some time this morning?" Garrett asked.
"I"m retired, Garrett. What else do I got but time?" Dave answered.
"Gotta swing around," Garrett told him.
"You had breakfast?"
"Cher filled me up."
Dave was silent, which reminded Garrett that in the last few weeks, he had not had a lot of time for his old man.
It was highly likely Dave had heard about Garrett seeing Cher.
But he hadn"t heard it from Garrett.
On this thought, the woman behind him in a BMW and a hurry honked. Still crawling with the traffic in front of him, he looked in his rearview mirror to see her gesticulating at him irately, as if he alone was holding up the proceedings.
He started to say something to his dad, but within two seconds, when he didn"t make the nine cars in front of him vanish by magic, she honked again and he saw her mouth moving in a way that wasn"t hard to lip-read as she continued to gesture. Half a second later, when she caught his eyes in the rearview mirror, she honked at him again and threw both of her hands up in angry exasperation.