I knew her fear.
And I wasn"t Peg"s biggest fan, but I wouldn"t wish that on anybody.
I looked up at Merry and opened my mouth.
He got in my face.
"Do not go soft on me," he ordered low.
I closed my mouth.
Just a look. That was all it took.
Jeez, when did he get to know me so well?
"Her bed she made," he stated.
"But-"
"Monday, I"ll make some calls, do some searches, ask around. If I hear anything, I"ll tell you and you can tell her. I don"t hear anything, I"ll talk to some buds. They"ll keep their eyes peeled. Anyone sees him, they"ll tell me, I"ll tell you, and you can tell her. That"s what I"ll do for Ethan. He"s gonna worry. And since I"m doin" that for Ethan, I"ll be doin" it for her. But that"s all I"m gonna do, Cher."
"I"ll take it," I replied immediately.
He nodded and muttered, "Let"s get your kid some cake."
"Yeah," Ryker boomed. "It"s time for f.u.c.kin" cake." Then he uncrossed his arms and stalked through Mike and Tanner on my stoop, into my house.
I took one last look toward Dusty, Rocky, and Peggy.
With so many people at my party, the van was down a ways. Rocky and Dusty were strapping in her kids. Peggy was standing on the sidewalk like she didn"t know where she was.
Merry"s arm went around my neck.
He turned me and guided me toward the house, repeating, "Don"t go soft."
I looked up at him. "You think she can get home?"
"She"s a mom. When she gets behind the wheel, that"ll kick in."
I knew that was likely true.
Time to focus not on Peggy but on my kid.
"Super stoked you didn"t let me talk you out of the Colts tickets, babe," I declared. "After this s.h.i.t, Ethan"s gonna need something awesome to turn his mind."
This did not make Merry feel any better. I could tell by his jaw going hard, his cheek ticking, and his angry gaze slicing to Colt, who was walking back to the house with us.
Colt also didn"t seem to feel relief that scene was over.
Then again, Colt was a new(ish) dad and Merry was a very new dad-like figure.
I"d been a mother for eleven years and three days.
If something threatened to turn my son"s day to s.h.i.t, that day was important or not...
No problem.
I had this.
(But the Colts tickets were gonna help.) (Huge.) * * * * *
"I wanna talk about it now," Ethan demanded.
The partygoers were in the living room save me, Mom, Merry, Colt, Feb, Cal, Vi, and Ethan"s seemingly now ever-extending family through Merry-Tanner, Rocky, Dave, Mike, and Dusty.
Little Jack was in the living room with big Jack and Jackie.
Cal had a hold of his daughter, Angela; Mimi had Vi and Cal"s son, Sam, in the other room.
And Tanner had Cecelia in his arms.
I"d noted all this distractedly, seeing as this growing family of friends was literally growing and it was mine, meaning it was Ethan"s, and that was a birthday boon he wouldn"t really understand, but it was his all the same.
But mostly, I was about my kid.
We"d all come into the kitchen after Rocky and Dusty got Peggy on her way. Though, obviously, the rest of us got there first since Rocky and Dusty were getting Peggy on her way.
It was just that Ethan was a little freaked.
Which was making him stubborn.
"I get that," I replied. "But you got a bunch of people in the other room who wanna watch you open presents, and I, for one, got a craving for R2-D2"s innards."
I was trying to make a joke, lighten the mood.
Ethan saw through it right away.
"Was Dad there?" he asked.
"Kid, come on," I replied softly. "We"ll talk after the party"s over."
"Mom, that"s crazy, her bangin" on the door like that. Who does that?" Ethan asked me.
A woman whose husband vanished.
"Son-"
Feeling sudden movement, I turned to see Merry, who"d been standing beside me in my face-off with my kid, was now crouching.
"Look at me," he ordered after he got low.
Ethan stopped scowling at me to look at Merry.
"You can hack it?" Merry asked.
Ethan"s back straightened, but his gaze on Merry didn"t waver.
"I can hack it," he announced.
Merry looked up at me.
I sucked breath in through my nose.
I had not shared all of Trent"s problems with my son. For instance, he didn"t know his father had used drugs. So he obviously didn"t know how much he had used them either. He also didn"t know his dad had been in trouble with the law. Not once, not several times.
He just knew the things I couldn"t hide-Trent was absent, and when he wasn"t, he was a loser.
I didn"t know what Merry intended to say to my kid.
I just knew I trusted him.
So I nodded.
Merry turned back to my boy.
"Your dad wasn"t there, Ethan. Your dad has problems. He"s got to keep a tight handle on those problems or they"ll get the better of him. He left Peggy without telling her what"s happening with him and she doesn"t know where he is. We can"t know, but this gives indication he"s lost hold and his problems got the better of him. She"s worried, trying to find him, and she thought he would be here. He isn"t, so we couldn"t help her. There"s not much we can do to help her, but I"ll see about doin" what I can when I"m at work again."
He shuffled forward, reached out, and curled his hand around the back of my son"s neck.
Then he kept talking.
"It"s important to point out these are not your problems, bud. These are Peggy"s problems. They"re your dad"s problems. Life works out in crazy ways sometimes and it seems your dad gave you and your mom one good thing: when he took off, you guys learned how to manage on your own. So when trouble hits for him, you just keep on rollin". Now, your mom needs you to keep on rollin". Can you do that for her?"
"He did to Peggy what he did to Mom, just later, didn"t he?" Ethan asked Merry.
"We don"t know. We just know what I told you," Merry answered.
"He did to Peggy what he did to Mom," Ethan muttered.
Merry gave his neck a visible squeeze and light shake, swaying Ethan gently.
"You gonna keep on rollin"?" he asked quietly.
Ethan looked at Merry.
Then he tipped his eyes up at me.
"We"re done with him, Mom. That"s it," he declared. "He does that to you and me, then he gets Mary and Tobias and does it to them. And even if Peggy is crazy, he did it to her too and that isn"t cool. So even if he does try to come back some day, we"re done. We don"t need him."
"Your call, honey," I said softly. "It"s always been your call. And it"ll be your call if something happens and you change your mind."
He stared at me a beat before he turned back to Merry.
"I"m ready to keep on rollin", Merry," he stated.
Merry gave him a grin.
"That"s my boy."
My heart fluttered.
My son"s chest visibly swelled.
I heard Mom clear her throat.
"Right, I"ll grab the ice cream," Rocky said.
"Everyone back in the living room," Dave ordered.
People moved. Merry straightened.
I kept my eyes to my kid.
He felt them and looked up at me.
"You good?" I whispered.
Ethan nodded.
"Let"s go, buddy," Colt called.
Ethan looked at Colt.
Then he followed his uncle into the living room.
"Holy cramoly!" Ethan shouted, yanked what was inside the envelope out, turned his eyes to Merry, lifted his hand straight into the air, waved it around, and screeched, "Colts tickets! Holy cramoly! I can"t believe it! That"s soooooo awesome!"
He popped up and raced over legs and laps, pushing through bodies until he made it to Merry.
Once there, he threw his arms around Merry"s middle and gave him a big hug.
Even now a big boy at eleven, he didn"t let go and only tipped his head back, my little man smiling huge up at my big man.
"Thanks, Merry! The greatest present ever!" he yelled.
Merry grinned down at my kid and ruffled his hair.