"It may," said Geoffrey, "but only because I have had to shoot after all." With which he opened the door and they returned to the library.
V
Cecilia was not in the library, and McVay, without comment on her absence, turned at once to his book.
"If you won"t think me impolite, Holland, I"ll go on with my Sterne.
Conversation is always a great temptation to me, but I have so little opportunity to read that I feel I ought not to neglect it,--especially as your books are so unusual."
He settled himself to Tristram Shandy with appreciation, but Geoffrey could not read. He sat, indeed, with a book open on his knee, but his eyes were fixed on the carpet. The knowledge of the girl"s presence in his house distracted him like a lantern swung before his eyes. He gave himself up to steeping himself in his emotion, which, in some situations, is the nearest thing possible to thinking.
Geoffrey"s success with women had been conspicuous, as was natural for he was good looking, rich and apparently susceptible. As a matter of fact, however, his susceptibility was purely superficial, and for this very reason he was not afraid to give it full sway. The deeply susceptible man learns to be cautious, to distrust his feelings, but Geoffrey had always too truly recognised his fundamental indifference to have any reason to distrust himself. He had never been in love. Like Ferdinand he, "for different virtues had liked many women," although in his case it had not always been necessarily virtues that had attracted him. But there were certain women who had always appealed to him for some conspicuous quality, or characteristic, who for one reason or another pleased him, to which one side or another of his nature responded. He had often thought that if he could make up a composite woman of all of them he might be in great danger of falling in love. But now he was aware that his whole nature responded to the attraction of the girl upstairs, as a dog answers instinctively to the call of its master. He could say to himself that she was this or that,--brave and beautiful, but he knew that such qualities were but an insignificant part of the total effect. His reason could find causes enough to approve her, but something more important had gone ahead, and made straight the paths of his reason, something which transcended it, and which in case of a divergence between the two, his reason could never overcome.
For, of course, the realisation of McVay and all his presence implied fell coolly upon his exaltation. By no means had Geoffrey said to himself in so many words that he was in love,--far less had anything so definite as marriage crossed his mind. He was too much in love to be so practical. He only knew that McVay"s mere existence was a contamination and a tragedy.
He had been sitting thus for some time, when he heard her step on the stairs. He rose and met her in the hall, whence he could still keep his eye on McVay"s studious figure in the library.
She was dressed in her sables ready for departure.
[Ill.u.s.tration: SHE WAS DRESSED IN HIS SISTER"S SABLES--READY FOR DEPARTURE]
They looked at each other a moment in silence, he appealingly, she, with a cold blankness that seemed to say that not even a look could make her take further notice of him as a living being.
"Have you really been thinking that I wanted to turn you out?" he said, with directness.
"I have not been thinking about the matter at all," she answered, turning her head a little aside from his direct gaze. "But I do think so of course. After all why should you not wish it?"
"You think me likely to want anything that would part us--that is the way my manner strikes you?" He was surprised to find his voice not absolutely steady.
She favoured him with a short stare from under her lids. "You seem to forget that I have your own word that you insisted on our going.
Possibly you have changed your mind, but I have made mine up." She made a motion as if to pa.s.s in, and go on toward the library.
"I have changed so completely since I saw you," said Geoffrey, "that I scarcely recognise life in this--this ecstasy. That is the only change.
Am I likely to turn you out when I have been waiting all my life for you to come?"
It had been with her own dream, her own credulity with which she had been fighting quite as much as with Holland, and the charm began to work once again. She said very coolly:
"You are very kind, but as you said, we ought to be starting,--or have you forgotten saying that?"
"Be just. You knew I was going too. You knew I urged our going because--"
"Well, why?" Her look was still from half-shut lids, but the lines of her mouth had softened by not a little.
"There is a danger of being snowed up here. Now I appreciate that there would be greater danger in starting out so late. And,--and equally desperate for me, whatever we do."
"Desperate?"
"If you only want an opportunity to think so meanly of me,--to hate me, as your look said."
"I do not hate you."
"You are very eager to be rid of my company."
"I did not understand."
"You are going to stay?"
"Until we can go safely."
"Not longer?"
As this was a question obviously impossible to answer directly she said, "We are under sufficiently large obligations to you already."
And Geoffrey, about to answer, looked up and saw McVay was observing them with satisfaction, so that words froze on his lips.
Here was the whole bitterness of the situation concentrated. To be observed at all in a moment of genuine emotion was bad enough, but to be observed by one who so plainly hoped to profit, was unbearable. Never, said Geoffrey to himself, at that glance of triumph from McVay"s clear little eyes, never should any influence lead him to let a thief slip through his fingers.
He realised too, for the first time, that he could not hope for another word alone with Cecilia. McVay must always be present. It was a hideous sort of revenge that every waking minute must be spent in the man"s company. Geoffrey had not appreciated the full meaning of his instructions to McVay to keep always in sight. Not a word or a look could be exchanged without McVay"s seeing and rejoicing.
Yet, in spite of his irritation, he could not but admire the sort of affectionate swagger with which McVay rose to greet her, as if the brother of so tender a creature must remember his responsibility.
"Well, my dear," he said sitting down beside her on the sofa, "feel better? Really a terrible experience. Holland has just been telling me about it--saying how well you behaved," (Geoffrey favoured him with a scowl behind her back), "a perfect heroine,--so he says."
"Mr. Holland is very kind," said the girl.
"Kind!" cried McVay enthusiastically. "Kind! I should rather think he was. Why, I could give you instances of his kindness--"
"You need not trouble," said Geoffrey.
McVay smiled at his sister as much as to say: What did I tell you?... so modest, so una.s.suming.
To Geoffrey this sort of thing was unspeakably painful. He was willing enough to meet McVay in a grim interchange over his strange combination of facility and crime, of doom and triviality. But when it became any question of playing upon Cecilia"s unconsciousness of the situation, he writhed. Yet, a little discernment would have shown him how natural, how encouraging from his own point of view her unconsciousness was. To fall in love thoroughly is sufficiently disconcerting. Which of us needs to be told that it is an absorbing process, that life looks different, and that all past experiences must be reviewed in the light of this unexpected illumination. And if this is true of the more usual forms of the great pa.s.sion, what is to be said of a girl who, in a single day, sees and loves a rescuer, a handsome powerful young creature, who comes to her with all the attributes of a soldier and a prince, who comes not only to save and protect, but as host and dispenser of all comfort and beauty.
It was not to be wondered at that she was dazzled and aware of one fact, one personality, that far from being able to draw shrewd conclusions from the little happenings going on before her, she was but dimly aware of the existence of her brother, of the world, of anything but Geoffrey.
Presently she said, as if trying to call up the picture:
"And this is where you sat all night?" And if the thought was interesting to her, it was not on account of her brother"s share in it.
"Yes," returned McVay, springing lightly to his feet. "Here we sat discussing plans for your safety." He took a step toward the pair at the fire, and then remembering, stopped. "Please move a little back, Holland," he said, "I want to get nearer the fire. I"m cold."
[Ill.u.s.tration: "PLEASE MOVE A LITTLE BACK, HOLLAND," HE SAID, "I WANT TO GET NEARER THE FIRE"]
"You can go to the fire," said Geoffrey, with a gesture of permission.
"Of course you can," said the girl, "Mr. Holland is not in your way, Billy."