You"ll not join us, Sir Julian?
SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.
I daren"t. Melton has arrived from town with a ma.s.s of papers for my signature. [Quietly to DRUMDURRIS.] The Rajputana Ca.n.a.l Question is wearing me out.
VALENTINE WHITE.
[Whispering to IMOGEN.] I have your note. I"ll return in a few minutes.
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
[Outside.] Shootin", my dear sir! When I was in the South "Ampstead Artillery I could have shown you what shootin" was.
MRS. GAYl.u.s.tRE.
There"s Jo. [She goes out to meet LEBANON.]
ALL.
[With various expressions of disgust.] Ugh! that man!
[All gather into groups, as LEBANON, looking very ridiculous in Highland costume, enters, followed by BROOKE.]
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
[Slapping MACPHAIL on the back.] Mac, dear old boy, "aven"t seen you this morning. [MACPHAIL turns away distrustfully.] Lady Mac, I "ear delightful whispers.
LADY MACPHAIL.
Sir?
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
An approachin" "appy event. We"re like the doves--we"re pairin" off, hey; we"re pairin" off? [LADY MACPHAIL stares at him and turns away. He wipes his forehead anxiously.] It"s a little difficult to keep up a long conversation with "em. They"re not what I should term Rattlers. [Eyeing EGIDIA.] The fair "ostess. Ahem! We missed you at the breakfast-table, Lady Drum. Can"t congratulate you on your peck--excuse my humour.
[EGIDIA stares at him and joins LADY MACPHAIL.] [To himself.] They"re a chatty lot; I must say they"re a chatty lot. I wish f.a.n.n.y would stick by me and cut in occasionally. There"s Lady T. _She_ can"t ride the "igh "orse, at any rate. Lady T.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Mr. Lebanon?
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
You didn"t honour me with my game of crib last night.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
I--I had a headache.
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
Never "ad a "eadache in my life--don"t know "ow it"s spelt.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
It"s spelt with an H.
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
[To LADY EUPHEMIA, offering her flowers from his coat.] Lady Effie, my floral offering.
[LADY EUPHEMIA catches up her skirts and sweeps past him.]
[To himself.] Chatty, hey? Chatty? [He comes face to face with the DOWAGER, who glares at him.] Hah! H"m! [Offering her the flowers.]
I--ah--had these picked for you, by Jove, I did. A present from Joseph.
DOWAGER.
What, sir!
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
[Replacing the flowers in his coat.] Excuse my humour. [Wiping his brow again.] Chatty! I do wish Fan would cut in and help me. [Slaps SIR JULIAN on the shoulder.] Twombley, old fellow.
SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.
Sir!
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
Not comin" out with us to-day, hey?
SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.
No.
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
Gettin" past it, I suppose?
SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.
I am kept indoors by pressure of work, Mr. Lebanon.
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
Oh, of course, the Rajputana Ca.n.a.l Question, hey? I"m a big shareholder in the Rajputana Railway, yer know. I say, tell me----