LADY MACPHAIL.
Madam, a Macphail can always walk under any circ.u.mstances.
DOWAGER.
[Reading the telegram she has written.] "If--in--doubt--amputate."
[LADY MACPHAIL, MACPHAIL, VALENTINE, LADY EUPHEMIA, EGIDIA, and the DOWAGER go out.]
MRS. GAYl.u.s.tRE.
[Weeping till the others are out of sight.] Joseph will die of remorse!
[Calling.] The coast is clear, Joseph. Jo!
[As she goes out LADY TWOMBLEY enters in great agitation, clutching an important-looking doc.u.ment.]
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Kitty, what have you done! Kitty, what have you done!
[LEBANON enters.]
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
Lady T! Thought so! [Seeing the paper.] Oh my goodness, what has she got there?
LADY TWOMBLEY.
I must--I must find Julian! Oh!
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
[s.n.a.t.c.hing the paper from her.] Excuse me!
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Ah! give me back that paper!
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
Lady T, oh, Lady T!
LADY TWOMBLEY.
[Following him round the table.] Give me back that paper! Dear, sweet Mr. Lebanon!
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
[Reading the paper.] Ha!
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Ah! don"t read it!
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
My friend Sir Julian"s own writing! The Rajputana Ca.n.a.l is a blessed fact! Lady Twombley, I forget my wounded pride, I forgive the blow to my self-respect. You have won a place in Jo Lebanon"s heart.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Give me back that paper and forget it!
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
[Returning the paper.] Give it you back? Delighted. Forget it? Oh, Lady T, Lady T.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Devil!
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
Lady Twombley, Joseph Lebanon is, above all things, a man of honour.
[Handing Bills to LADY TWOMBLEY.] Lovely woman"s Acceptances.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
I won"t take them. I won"t buy them back at such a price.
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
Natural delicacy. [Laying the Bills on the table.] You can pick "em up when I"m gone.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Oh, what a wicked woman I am!
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
I can get out of these beastly clothes, drive to Strachlachan Junction, and wire to town before feedin" time. The city is on the eve of a financial earthquake! Joseph"s name will be a "ouse"old word from Mile End to Kensington! Lady Twombley, we meet at the hop to-morrow night for the last time--in Society. [Boisterously.] Whoop! Dash Society! [He performs a few steps of a Highland dance.] Excuse my humour. [He goes out.]
LADY TWOMBLEY.
The Bills! The Bills! They mustn"t lie there.
[As she goes to the table SIR JULIAN, looking very white and dishevelled, enters, and, standing opposite to her, takes up the Bills and presents them to her.]
LADY TWOMBLEY.