XXI
Don Roberto and Mr. Polk took no part in these festivities; Mrs. Yorba and Magdalena took less and less; the picture made by Don Roberto in his shirt-sleeves, manipulating a hose as the char-a-banc drove off, finally forbade his wife to riot while her husband toiled. She was angry and resentful; but she was a woman of stern principles, and she had a certain measure of that sort of love for her husband which duty prompts in those who are without pa.s.sion.
"I don"t pretend to understand your father," she said to Magdalena. "The bees he gets in his bonnet are quite beyond me, but if he feels that way, he does, and that"s the end of it; and he makes me feel uncomfortable all the time I am anywhere. I sha"n"t go out again until he gets over this. You can go with somebody else."
"I would a great deal rather stay home. I don"t enjoy myself. People work so hard to be amused. I"d much rather just sit still and do nothing."
"You"re lazy, like all the Spanish. Well, you"ll have to do a good deal of sitting still, I expect; and in a sick room, I"m afraid. Poor Hiram looks thinner and greyer every day. Almost all our relations died of consumption."
"I wrote to aunt how badly he was looking, but she has not answered."
"She won"t, the heartless thing. She never loved him. But if he takes to his bed with slow consumption, she"ll have to come up and do her share of the nursing. She ought to like it. Fat women always make good nurses."
Magdalena was more than glad to fall out of the gaieties. She was beginning to feel that most demoralising of all sensations,--the disintegration of will. Pride, a certain excitement, and novelty had kept her armour locked for a time; but each time she met Trennahan, the ordeal of facing him with plat.i.tudes, or, what was worse still, in occasional friendly talks, and of witnessing Helena"s little airs of possession, suggested a future and signal failure. She came to have a morbid terror that she should betray herself, and when in company with him kept out of the very reach of his voice. She never went to the woods, lest she meet him, with or without Helena. In those rustling arbours of many memories, she knew that she should let fly the pa.s.sion within her. She was appalled that neither time nor will nor principle had authority over her love. She had made up her mind that she would, if not tear it up by the roots, at least level it to the soil from which it had sprung, and she was quite ready to believe that love was not all; that with her youth, intellect, and wealth there was much in life for her. But the plant flourished and was heavy with bloom. Even while she avoided him, she longed for the moment when he must of necessity speak to her. She welcomed the excuse to secede from the ranks of pleasurers, but even then she started up at every sound of wheels that might herald his approach. She longed for the wedding to be over; but Helena would not marry before December, that being her birth month and eminently suitable, in her logical fancy, for her second launching. Colonel Belmont, having satisfied himself that everyone in the little drama had acted with honour, was well pleased with his son-in-law; but he was much distressed at the att.i.tude of the old friend who had hoped to fill a similar relation to Trennahan. Don Roberto, taciturn with everybody, refused to speak to Colonel Belmont, to return his courtly salutation.
"I suppose it is natural," said Colonel Belmont to Helena. "Don is not only eccentric, but he would almost rather lose a hundred thousand dollars than his own way. But I hope he"ll come round in time, for it makes me feel right lonesome in my old age. He and Hi were the only real intimates I have had in California, and now Hi is going, poor old fellow! and of course I can do little to cheer him up until Don thaws out."
"Do you feel quite well yourself?" asked Helena, anxiously. "You often look so terribly pale."
"I never was better, honey, I a.s.sure you. But remember that you must expect to lose your old father some day. But I"ve been pretty good to you, haven"t I? You"ll have nothing but pleasant things to remember?"
"You"re the very best angel on earth. I don"t even love Jack so much. I thought I did, but I don"t."
"Don"t you love him?" asked her father, anxiously. He was eager for her to marry; he knew that his blood was white.
"Of course! What a question!"
XXII
It was an intensely hot September night. Magdalena, knowing that sleep was impossible, had not gone to bed. She wandered restlessly about her large room, striving to force a current of air. Not a vibration came through the open windows, nor a sound. The very trees seemed to lean forward with limp hanging arms. Across the stars was a dark veil, riven at long intervals with the copper of sheet lightning. Her room, too, was dark. A light would bring a pest of mosquitoes. The high remote falsetto of several, as it was, proclaimed an impatient waiting for their ally, sleep.
Last night, Tiny had given a party, and wrung from Magdalena a promise that she would go to it. Rose had called for her. At the last moment Magdalena"s courage had shrunk to a final shuddering heap, and as she heard the wheels of the Geary waggonette, she had run upstairs, and flung herself between the bedclothes, sending down word that she had a raging toothache. It was her first lie in many years, but it was better than to dance with despair and agony written on her relaxed face behind the windows of the garden in which Trennahan had asked her to marry him.
To-night she was seriously considering the proposition of going to her aunt in Santa Barbara, with or without her father"s consent. Her sense of duty had not tumbled into the ruins of her will, but she argued that in this most crucial period of her life, her duty was to herself. Helena had not even asked her to be bridesmaid; she took her acquiescence for granted. Magdalena laughed aloud at the thought; but she could not leave Helena in the lurch at the last moment. When she got to Santa Barbara, she could plead her aunt"s ill health as excuse for not returning in time for the ceremony. She was in a mood to tell twenty lies if necessary, but she would not stand at the altar with Trennahan and Helena. Her pa.s.sionate desire for change of a.s.sociations was rising rapidly to the dignity of a fixed idea. To-morrow there must be a change of some sort, or her brain would be babbling its secrets. Already her memory would not connect at times. She felt sure that the prolonged strain had produced a certain congestion in her brain. And she was beginning to wonder if she hated Helena. The fires in Magdalena burned slowly, but they burned exceeding hot.
She paused and thrust her head forward. For some seconds past her sub-consciousness had grasped the sound of galloping hoofs. They were on the estate, by the deer park; a horse was galloping furiously toward the house.
She ran to the window and looked out. She could see nothing. Could it be a runaway horse? Was somebody ill? The flying feet turned abruptly and made for the rear of the house, then paused suddenly. There was a furious knocking.
Magdalena"s knees shook with a swift presentiment. Something had happened--was going to happen--to her. She stood holding her breath.
Someone ran softly but swiftly up the stair, and down the hall, to her room. She knew then who it was, and ran forward and opened the door.
"Helena!" she exclaimed. "What is the matter? Something has--Mr.
Trennahan--"
Helena flung herself upon Magdalena and burst into a pa.s.sion of weeping.
Magdalena stood rigid, ice in her veins. "Is he dead?" she managed to ask.
"No! He isn"t. I wish he were--No, I don"t mean that--I"ll tell you in a minute--Let me get through first!"
Magdalena dragged her shaking limbs across the room and felt for a chair. Helena began pacing rapidly up and down, pushing the chairs out of her way.
"Would you like a light?" asked Magdalena.
"No, thanks; I don"t want to be eaten alive with mosquitoes. Oh, how shall I begin? I suppose you think we"ve had a commonplace quarrel. I wish we had. I swear to you, "Lena, that up to to-night I loved him--yes, I know that I did! I was rather sorry I"d promised to marry so soon, for I like being a girl, not really belonging to anyone but myself, and I love being a great belle, and I think that I should have begged for another year--but I loved him better than anyone, and I really intended to marry him--"
"Aren"t you going to marry him?"
"Don"t be so stern, "Lena! You don"t know all yet. Lately I"ve been alone with him a great deal, and you know how you talk about yourselves in those circ.u.mstances. I had told him everything I had ever done and thought--most; had turned myself inside out. Then I made him talk. Up to a certain point he was fluent enough; then he shut up like a clam. I never was very curious about men; but because he was all mine, or perhaps because I didn"t have anything else to think about, I made up my mind he should come to confession. He fought me off, but you know I have a way of getting what I want--if I don"t there"s trouble; and to-night I pulled his past life out of him bit by bit. "Lena! he"s had _liaisons_ with married women; he"s kept house with women; he"s seen the worst life of every city! For a few years--he confessed it in so many words--he was one of the maddest men in Europe. The actual things he told me only in part; but you know I have the instincts of the devil. "Lena, _he"s a human slum_, and I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!"
"But that all belongs to his past. He loves you, and you can make him better--make him forget--"
"I don"t want to make any man better. I love everything to be clean and new and bright,--not mildewed with a thousand vices that I would never even discuss. Oh, he"s a brute to ask me to marry him. I hate myself that I"ve been engaged to him! I feel as if I"d tumbled off a pedestal!"
"Are you so much better and purer than I? I knew much of this; but it did not horrify me. I knew too, what you may not know, that he came here in a critical time in his--his--inner life, and I was glad to think that--California had helped him to become quite another man." Her voice was hoa.r.s.e, almost inarticulate.
Helena flung herself at Magdalena"s feet. She was trembling with excitement; but her feverish appeal for sympathy met with no response.
"That is another thing that nearly drove me wild,--that I had taken him away from you for nothing. I know you don"t care now; but you did--perhaps you do now--sometimes I"ve suspected, only I wouldn"t face it--and to think that in my wretched selfishness I"ve separated you for ever! For your pride wouldn"t let you take him back now, and he"s as wild about me as ever: I never thought he could lose control over himself as he did when I told him what I thought of him and beat him on the shoulders with both my fists. He turned as white as a corpse and shook like a leaf. Then he braced up and told me I was a little wild cat, and that he should leave me and come back when I had come to my senses, that he had no intention of giving me up. But he need not come back. I"ll never lay eyes on him again. While he was letting me get at those things, I felt as if my love for him burst into a thousand pieces, and that when they flew together again they made hate. He told me he was used to girls of the world, who understood things; and that the girls of California were so crude they either knew all there was to know by experience, or else they were prudes--"
Helena paused abruptly and caught her breath. She had felt Magdalena extend her arm and stealthily open a drawer in the bureau beside her chair. There was nothing remarkable in the fact, for in that drawer Magdalena kept her handkerchiefs. Nevertheless, Helena shook with the palsy of terror; the cold sweat burst from her body. In the intense darkness she could see nothing, only a vague patch where the face of Magdalena was. The silence was so strained that surely a shriek must come tearing across it. The shriek came from her own throat. She leaped to her feet like a panther, reached the door in a bound, fled down the hall and the stair, her eyes glancing wildly over her shoulder, and so out to her horse. It is many years since that night, but there are silent moments when that ride through the woods flashes down her memory and chills her skin,--that mad flight from an unimaginable horror, through the black woods on a terrified horse, the shadow of her fear racing just behind with outstretched arms and clutching fingers.
Helena"s sudden flight left Magdalena staring through the dark at the Spanish dagger in her hand. Her arm was raised, her wrist curved; the dagger pointed toward the s.p.a.ce which Helena had filled a moment ago.
"I intended to kill her," she said aloud. "I intended to kill her."
The mental admission of the design and its frustration were almost simultaneous. Her brain was still in a hideous tumult. Weakened by suffering, the shock of Helena"s fickleness and injustice, the sudden perception that her sacrifice had been useless, if not absurd, had disturbed her mental balance for a few seconds, and left her at the mercy of pa.s.sions. .h.i.therto in-existent to her consciousness. Her love for her old friend, long trembling in the balance, had flashed into hate. Upon hate had followed the murderous impulse for vengeance; not for her own sake, but for that of the man whose weakness had ruined her life and his own. In the very height of her sudden madness she was still capable of a curious misdirected feminine unselfishness.
When she came to herself, chagrin that she had failed to accomplish her purpose possessed her mind for the moment, although she had made no attempt to follow Helena, beyond springing to her feet. Then her conscience a.s.serted itself, and reminded her that she should be appalled, overcome with horror, at the awful possibilities of her nature. The picture of Helena in the death struggle, bleeding and gasping, rose before her. Her knees gave way with horror and fright, and she fell upon her chair, dropping the dagger from her wet fingers, staring at the grim spectre of her friend. Then once more the sound of galloping hoofs came to her ears. Both Helena and herself were safe.
In a few moments her thoughts grouped themselves into a regret deeper and bitterer still. She was capable of the highest pa.s.sion, and Circ.u.mstance had diverted it from its natural climax and impelled it toward murder. She sat there and thought until morning on the part to which she had been born; the ego dully attempting to understand, to realise that its imperious demands receive little consideration from the great Law of Circ.u.mstance, and are usually ignored.
XXIII
The next morning Magdalena did as wise a thing as if inspired by reason instead of blind instinct: she got on her horse and rode for six hours.
When she returned home she was exhausted of body and inert of brain. She found a note from Helena awaiting her.
DEAREST "LeNA,--What a tornado and an idiot you must think me! I cannot explain my extraordinary departure. I suppose I was in such a nervous state that I was obsessed in some mysterious manner and went off like a rocket. I can a.s.sure you I feel like a stick this morning. You will forgive me, won"t you? for you know that although my affections do fluctuate for some people, they never do for you.